The Middle Distance

by Midnight herald

Chapter 5

Applejack woke before her usual time and jumped out of bed before she could fall asleep again. Fluttershy murmured in her sleep and rolled over. Applejack hissed softly as her hooves hit the chill floorboards and stifled a curse as she nearly stepped on one of the semi-feral tabbies that had chosen to curl up at the top of the staircase.

She leapt over the dozing kitten and staggered into the kitchen, searching through the cabinets for ... Right... Fluttershy doesn't do coffee. Applejack sighed and poured herself some cold water instead. Thankfully, Fluttershy had some oats lying around, so she wasn't exactly hungry when she left for work. That said, she wasn't as full of energy or food as she normally was, or liked to be. She decided to swing by the farmhouse for a bite before working; oats weren't that filling, anyways.

Applejack crunched down the bowlful of dry grains and grabbed a pencil and pad of paper she’d seen lying around and scrawled out:

Fluttershy, I’m going off for work, but I’ll pick up some fresh produce on my way

back. Have a great day.

Love, Applejack

She locked the door behind her and headed off in the pre-dawn darkness to get some work in before sunrise.

Applejack managed to slop the pigs before the prospect of coffee became too great a temptation. She yawned heavily and trotted to the farmhouse. She nosed the kitchen door open and crept through to the dining room

“... I think Ms. Cheerilee said we’d be talkin’ about the Everfree Forest an’ how all the plants an’ animals live together,” Apple Bloom was saying. Her bright eyes danced with the joy of learning, and her ears perked suddenly as Applejack knocked against the doorframe softly.

“Mind if I join you for a cuppa joe?” Applejack asked awkwardly. Her whole family nodded and she smiled, pouring herself a mug full of dark coffee. She took a burning mouthful: bitter, dark, and gritty, just how she liked. She snagged a roll as she passed the plate to her brother and munched on it thoughtfully. Somehow each bite was more satisfying than her entire breakfast had been. It must’ve been something about home cooking.

---

When Applejack came back to the cottage, her saddlebags creaked from the weight of the carrots, potatoes, alfalfa and squash she’d forced into them at the market. She sidled through the mudroom, trying her best to keep from knocking something off the shelving with the extra width the food gave her. She found Fluttershy in the kitchen, throwing some of her homegrown herbs and roots into a soup.

“Sweetheart?Where should I put these?”Applejack asked. Fluttershy turned around with a gentle smile on face before blinking, nonplussed.

“I’m sure’ll find room for all that somewhere,” she said, rearranging the shelves of her pantry. Applejack looked at her saddlebags, looked at Fluttershy, at the kitchen, and back at her saddlebags.

“Aw, shoot.” Applejack could feel a blush spreading across her face. “I’m not used to shoppin’ for two. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Fluttershy smiled indulgently and lifted Applejack’s bags off her back. She set them directly onto the second shelf of the tiny closet and closed the door softly. “It’s fine, Applejack,” she said, before checking on the soup. “I know this is a big adjustment.”

Calling it an adjustment seemed like an understatement. Once the last of the nocturnal animals went out and did its thing, Fluttershy’s cottage got painfully quiet. Even Fluttershy’s gentle breaths from the other side of the bed seemed muted. Applejack almost started humming, anything to break free of the stifling silence. But instead she lay on her side and looked out the window until her eyes burned too much to keep open.

---

Applejack woke up later the next morning, groggily. The first rays of sunshine had stained the horizon a deep red as she clambered out of bed. She forced her mane and tail into their ties as Fluttershy snored delicately and chomped down a couple carrots on her way to the Acres. She plowed through groves, occasionally bruising trees with unrestrained kicks, cursing every time. But no matter how hard she worked, no matter how fast she cleared the trees around her, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was running out of time.

When lunchtime rolled around, though, Applejack settled down a little bit. The good food filled her up with a warm contentedness, and the usual, comfortable silence between the three of them gave her time to let her mind rest and drift a little. When she got back to her work, She was cool and collected. Every so often, though, the notion would creep up on her that she was being followed, and she’d go just a little bit faster, to be sure.

---

Applejack cantered to the cottage around sunset. She could’ve kept working alongside Mac for another hour or so, but she knew Fluttershy would be having dinner soon. She pushed herself to go a little faster. It wouldn’t be right if she made ‘Shy wait before eating.

She could smell baked squash the moment she opened the front door. Fluttershy uncovered the casserole dish and dished out the mash she’d made. Applejack slid in beside her at the table and gave her a small kiss on the cheek.

“Have a good day?” she asked, gently rubbing Fluttershy’s shoulders. Fluttershy nodded and purred happily, stretching into Applejack’s forehooves gratefully.

“Harry stopped by for a little while,” she said, flinching as Applejack worked out a particularly vicious knot. “He’s started courting the sow who lives by the broken hill. Belinda’s leg is healing well and the woodpeckers figured out their territory dispute peacefully.”

Applejack smiled and kissed Fluttershy’s neck softly. “Sounds pretty eventful.” She rubbed Fluttershy’s back a couple times before turning to her plate and tucking in to dinner. She rolled her own aching shoulders a few times while chewing, trying to smooth out the kinks in the muscles

“I missed you this morning, Applejack.” Fluttershy’s hoof laid itself firmly on hers.

“Sorry.” It was almost a reflex, nowadays. “I’ve been tryin’ to pull longer days, to see if I can’t get ahead a little.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Maybe we could have breakfast together? Before you go?”

Applejack nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

---

“Fluttershy?” Applejack gently shook her sleeping girlfriend. “Fluttershy? Darlin’?”

“Szzwhusgoinon?” Fluttershy whispered, rolling away from Applejack and onto her stomach.

“Sweetheart, you said you wanted to have breakfast together, right? I have some porridge goin’ downstairs. All I’m missin’ for a breakfast with you is you.” Fluttershy crinkled her nose and shook her head suddenly, hauling herself out of bed with monumental effort. Her eyes half-shut, she stumbled against Applejack and then wobbled to the stairs, grumbling something through her closed lips. Applejack set a mug of tea in front of Fluttershy and watched her nearly inhale it. Her sleepy eyes opened a bit more, and she smiled wanly in Applejack’s direction.

“What time is it?” she asked, her voice raspy from sleep.

“Almost 4:30. Figured I shouldn’t wake you until everything was ready.”

Fluttershy did a slow motion double-take. “Why are we up so early?”

Applejack refilled Fluttershy’s tea and gave her a bowl of porridge. “If I get enough done the next few days, I can take the weekend easy,” she explained, eating some of her own breakfast. “Maybe we could do something together?”

Fluttershy made noncommittal sounds, her muzzle once again occupied by her mug of tea. She was trying, for sure, but Applejack could tell how badly Fluttershy wanted to be in bed and sleeping. Still, they hugged and kissed before Applejack left for work, and the trip to the Acres seemed shorter.

---

The next three days flew by. Applejack had a goal - clear the Southern Hills and take the weekend off. She worked with a purpose, pounding down the paths between the Hills and the apple cellar with her frequent trips. She was the first one to start work, and she was the last to park her cart at night. She slept well at night, either from pure physical exhaustion or the knowledge that she would have the weekend with Fluttershy, two days to unwind and reconnect.

Not that she was a slouch when it came to housework. She’d insisted on doing dishes when Fluttershy cooked, and she made sure there was enough firewood split to keep the cottage cozy.

Applejack slept in on Saturday morning, and for the first time in a week she woke to an empty bed. She rolled out of the tangled covers and worked her way downstairs, following the sound of Fluttershy’s voice.

“Yes, you have to eat it. I know it doesn’t taste very nice, but it’s better than catching the flu that’s been going around…” Fluttershy was staring at a couple young starlings, and a few of her patented vaccinated nut clusters sat untouched on a plate. From the smell of things, she’d been cooking up a lot more of them than the two she saw in the living room. Applejack’s eyes wandered around the living room, at the seventy-odd birds lining the walls and cubbies. Some of them were pecking at the clusters and others looked to be waiting their turns in varying states of dread.

“Morning, Fluttershy,” Applejack greeted, looking into the kitchen briefly to see if there was any breakfast lying around. Instead, at least a hundred more vaccinated nut clusters lined the counters on wax paper. She looked back at Fluttershy, who hadn’t stopped talking gently to the birds in front of her. Finally, they grasped the clusters in reluctant claws and flew to a roosting spot, nibbling dutifully.

“Good morning, Applejack,” Fluttershy finally said on her way to grab more of the bird vaccines. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah…” Fluttershy trotted back out with a full tray and called over some blue jays “Hey, Fluttershy? Are you doing anything this afternoon?” Fluttershy turned around and looked at her askance.

“Applejack, getting all the birds ready for Feather Flu season will take the next day and a half,” she said, turning back to the jays and convincing them to eat the clusters she offered them.

“I thought we were gonna spend the weekend together,” Applejack almost whined. She cringed at the tone in her voice and stared a hole into Fluttershy’s back. “We talked about it Wednesday morning, remember?”

“I’m bad with early mornings,” Fluttershy sighed. “Maybe if you’d brought it up again later, but … if I wait longer on these the medicine could spoil.”

Applejack took a couple steps forward. “Could I help you out? Would that speed things up?”

Fluttershy shook her head, a tiny, tight motion. “The last time you tried to help with birds, I had to wait three days before any of them would talk to me.”

Applejack sighed. “Can I at least sit by you for a spell?”

Fluttershy giggled. “Applejack? When did you get so clingy?”

Applejack grabbed her hat and a scarf and went for a walk. There was too much going on in the room and she needed some peace and quiet.

---

Applejack came back with an eggplant from Roseluck’s greenhouse. Even though it was a decadence, Eggplant Parmesan was one of Fluttershy’s absolute favorite things to eat. Ans Applejack had been so rude, storming out without an explanation … She cleared a space in the kitchen and set to work, chopping and sauteing and preheating the oven to bake it all.

When the melted cheese on top had reached a wonderful, crispy brown around the edges, Applejack checked the table settings and walked into the living room to grab Fluttershy. ‘Shy’s face lit up when she saw what dinner was, and her stomach rumbled hugely.

“Did you forget lunch again?” Applejack asked, setting a heaping chunk of the casserole on Fluttershy’s plate. Fluttershy thought and nodded. “Sugar …” Applejack chided, serving herself. “You gotta take better care of yourself.”

A tense silence stretched between the two of them as they ate. The hairs on Applejack’s neck raised up like they did in thunderstorms, and she realised her legs were tensed for action. “Listen, I’m sorry ‘bout before,” she said. “T’weren’t right for me to walk out with no explanation. Maybe I shoulda talked some more, but I just had to get out.”

Some emotion flashed through Fluttershy’s expressive eyes before she leaned in a little closer. “Well, is everything alright, Applejack?” Concern colored her voice and Applejack felt an absurd wave of guilt. Fluttershy had better things to worry about than her.

Applejack pulled on a shaky smile. “It’s prolly just getting settled in here,” she said. “It’s takin’ longer than I thought it would.” As they settled back into their dinners, Applejack wondered if she had told a lie.

---

The next day, Applejack headed back to the Acres to work. It was better use of her time than lounging around and being in the way. During lunch, Apple Bloom regaled her with stories of her school week. Applejack started glazing over a little, listening more to the sound of Apple Bloom’s voice than her words as she chewed.

“Applejack?” Applejack swallowed the last, refreshing mouthful of fresh juice and turned, her tongue still tingling as she regarded her sister.

“Yeah, AB? What’s up?”

Apple Bloom fidgeted awkwardly and shuffled closer, glancing around before looking Applejack in the eyes. “Umm … well, it’s just …” She breathed deeply and started again. “I asked Mac last night if he’d tell me about the Giant Ponies before I went to sleep, and he doesn’t tell it like you do.” All the air rushed from Applejack’s lungs. The strength left her legs and her heart raced painfully fast. Apple Bloom had her transfixed, caught in a shimmering, teary-eyed stare. “Do … Do you think sometime you could stay late and tell it to me so I remember the right way it goes?” Apple Bloom’s voice had gone husky with suppressed emotion. Then her first tear hit the floor with a wet slap, and Applejack broke.

She hugged Apple Bloom tightly, stroking her mane comfortingly. She could feel Apple Bloom’s tears and snot soaking into her shoulder. She nuzzled at the top of Apple Bloom’s mane, breathing in the bitter smell of dandruff shampoo and tree bark. “I’m sorry,” Applejack whispered, holding Apple Bloom a little tighter. “I’m so, so sorry.” Eventually Apple Bloom’s tears ran out, and Applejack tried to smile. It came out more as a grimace, twisted as it was by guilt.

She sat there by the table with one foreleg around Apple Bloom’s withers for a long while. Her hoof ran absentminded circles on Apple Bloom’s ribcage, and she leaned over to groom Apple Bloom’s mane every so often, just to feel a little closer again.

“‘Bloom, I gotta go have myself a talk, but I’ll be back,” Applejack finally said. Apple Bloom stiffened and squeezed her tight, pressing her face into Applejack’s side. “Look, I’ll probably be back tonight, alright?” With extreme gentleness, Applejack removed herself from Apple Bloom’s clingy embrace and gave her one last nuzzle for reassurance. Then she made the walk to Fluttershy’s cottage, thinking hard about what to say and how to say it. Something wasn’t working, and something needed to change.

Applejack knocked on the front door and let herself in. She found Fluttershy in the living room, forcing a vaccine down a sparrow’s throat with an eyedropper. “We need to talk,” she said.

Fluttershy looked at her in alarm. “Applejack, this isn’t really a good time.” she gestured to all the birds in the room with a sweep of her wing.

Applejack sighed. “Seems like there’s never a good time, anymore, sugar. But I got some things that need saying, and I figure now’s about as good as I’m gonna get.”

Fluttershy got three drops of medicine into the back of the sparrow’s throat and called the next bird over. “Alright, I’m listening.”

“Fluttershy, I think moving in with you was a mistake,” Applejack said. Fluttershy dropped her pipette in alarm. “I think I should go back to the Acres for a while.”

“How can you think this is a mistake?” Fluttershy asked, her eyes darting around. “This was your idea, Applejack!”

Applejack stared at her hooves. “I panicked, alright? I wasn’t exactly thinking when I asked you. ‘M not always the best at thinking things through.”

“I’ve noticed,” Fluttershy deadpanned. Applejack could almost feel her icy stare and swallowed nervously.

“Look,” she explained, looking up at Fluttershy, “I thought that maybe if we spent more time together things would sort themselves out between us. But all it did was show me that we don’t have time for each other anymore.”

Fluttershy stepped closer. “What do you mean?”

“When’s the last time we spent real quality time together? Just the two of us?” Fluttershy thought for a minute and deflated a little. “You’re working, or I’m working, or we’re both too tired to get any sorta mood going on.” Fluttershy gave a tiny nod, her eyes troubled.

“An’ I’ve been trying to meet you halfway, ‘Shy,” Applejack continued, “But lately it feels more like three quarters, and I can’t do it anymore. I got more things in my life than you, an’ I gotta honor that.

Fluttershy bristled in slow motion, her eyes turning hard and icy, her ears cocking forward aggressively, and her beautiful mouth turning up in an indignant sneer. “What do you mean by that?” Her voice sent shivers down Applejack’s spine.

Applejack snorted. “I mean I worked damn near 15 hours on Friday so’s we could have the weekend together because I thought you were on board with me. An’ then I figured that even though you were busy I could hang around an’ make your life easier. Or at the very least …” Applejack paused. She was starting to shout, which wasn’t good. So she waited to calm down before continuing.

“Darlin’, you used to let me stick around and watch you work. I love watching you work. But I guess it’s out of the question, now. An’ if that’s the way things are gonna be between us, I’d rather be with my family than stayin’ awake at night for missing ‘em.”

Fluttershy moved closer. “Applejack, this doesn’t mean you have to leave,” she said. “You’ve told me what’s wrong, and now we can fix it. We can still make this work, right?” She drooped as Applejack paused, chewing on her lip. “Right?” she begged, her eyes burning into Applejack’s needfully.

Applejack rubbed the bridge of her nose and looked at anything but Fluttershy, for fear that her resolve would break. “I’m sure we’ll get everythin’ settled, but for right now I think I need some space,” she said. “Just lemme grab my things an’ I’ll be outta your hair.”

Applejack shoved past her and up to the bedroom. She grabbed her mama’s picture, her toothbrush, extra hairties, and her best lasso and piled them into her saggy cardboard box. Fluttershy flew up the stairs and tried to tug the box from her grip. Applejack let go before it ripped and stood back, glaring.

“Fluttershy, gimme my things, please.”

Fluttershy’s eyes brimmed with panicked tears and her breath came in tiny gasps and pants. Applejack wanted nothing more than to hug her, to tell her it would be okay, but she held herself still and strong. She’d told Apple Bloom she’d be back tonight, and she meant to keep her promise.

“Fluttershy, please. I need my stuff.” Fluttershy hugged the beaten cardboard closer to her chest, defiantly. Applejack snorted. It was getting harder and harder to keep a level head. “Fluttershy, I’m gonna ask you one more time. Gimme the damn box.”

Rage flared suddenly in Fluttershy’s eyes. She set the box behind her and landed. “Why? So you can run away from your latest problem instead of sticking through it?” she spat, crouching defensively. Applejack took a step back, and Fluttershy advanced, her red-rimmed eyes narrowed viciously. “You always run away the moment anything gets bad, don’t you, Applejack?” she snarled. “Go ahead, turn around and retreat, you cowardly, immature …”

“Fluttershy, I’m tryin’ real hard to be reasonable here,” Applejack shouted, biting her cheek to keep herself in check, “But you’re not making it easy!” She bit a little harder and tasted blood. “I’m leaving now before this gets worse than it is.”

“Should I save you some dinner, or will you be in Dodge Junction by then?” Fluttershy sniped. Ten seconds crashed through the room like thunder. Applejack stopped short and stiffened. She replayed the last few seconds desperately, each time sending another jolt of pain into her chest. Her legs moved turned her around while her mind struggled to catch up.

“You don’t talk to me like that,” Applejack growled, trembling with suppressed rage. “You don’t ever talk to me like that, y’hear?” Her last words echoed through the bedroom and Fluttershy shrank in on herself with a whimper. Applejack pulled a sharp turnaround and marched out of the room, eyes straight ahead. Her teeth tore through the inside of her cheek and she paused once more at the stairwell. “Come find me when you’re ready to talk like an adult,” she said, before leaving the house. She slammed the door hard behind her and headed home to the acres, her shoulders tight with the effort of controlling herself.

Author's Note:

Revised as of 2:11 pm EST. Because I'm a picky person.

Comments

[RainbowXFlutters]

“Should I save you some dinner, or will you be in Dodge Junction by then?” Fluttershy sniped.

Damn Fluttershy even I felt that one lol. I love it.