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Sometimes growing up means more than just time passing. For some, it means letting go of what they hold dear and moving onto greener pastures. And for others, it means becoming what they never wanted to be in the first place.

Thanks to my editors Maskedferret, Door Matt, Razalon The Lizardman, and Titanium Dragon for all their help!

Reading found here.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 73 )
Dredgen #1 · Jul 26th, 2014 · · 89 ·

First

10/10, would read again. :twilightsmile:

Aww, the ending got me, Bob! This was really nice and it makes you think about Discord's character and what's underneath all those mismatched arms and legs.

4753074

Nutella.

This was rather sad but adorable. Obviously Discord won't embrace his destiny after all that...but what then?

4753074 HEY FLAME!!! CHECK OUT THIS FOOL OVER HERE!!!
>:( *rage mode activated*

An interesting viewpoint. Fave and upvote for you, Bob. But did I really expect any less? :rainbowkiss:

Also, this part.

On instant,

Wat.

Slaughter the editors.
Listen to the voices, Bob.
(Kill them all.)
:pinkiecrazy:

Just went to the home page and this story is on the top of the popular stories list... that was fast...

Omg I almost started crying there, Rainbow-Bob.
Jeez.
Stop writing so awesome-ly!
:fluttercry:

A really interesting look into Discord's species, as well as his character. He's so small in comparison to his family, who swallow galaxies and have forms of impossible things, while he creates chocolate rain and cotton candy clouds. Ponies must look like ants to them, so what harm is it to them at the thought of destroying their world?

He's running from a future he doesn't want, now that he's gotten to know this world. But he's basically isolated wherever he goes, even his own people. Probably why he really does need a friend, like Fluttershy; someone who accepts him no matter what. Pretty deep stuff. I love it!

Discord stared into the abyss. It stared back. Eventually, however, Discord blinked.

This was definitely how this story needed to start, though I feel like the last bit of it was a little bit weaker than it should have been, and could have been punchier. Still, it was amusing.

Unfortunately, as Bribri observed, this would be even funnier if the abyss blinked. Dunno if that would really work with what you're trying to go for here, though.

“Oh, is someone a sore loser then?” Uncle Phil asked, his face a blank expanse of a void without shape, features, or light, but still managed to seem smug.

I think this could have been made stronger by making it more purple and ridiculous, something more like:

The voice of the abyss reverberated through the space beyond space, coming from nowhere and everywhere all at once. "I see someone is still a sore loser."

Faceless, formless, still, somehow, the dark void which constituted Discord's uncle managed to smirk.

I think this is true of the other bits as well, such as him raising his eyebrow; I think going over the top with Uncle Phil's emotes might have worked a bit better, as he is clearly a completely ridiculous character, and noting his ridiculous over-the-top nature as being a formlesse void which is still, somehow, emoting might help.

So, what advice do you want to gleam off me?

This should be glean, not gleam. It also feels awkward; does anyone ever say something like this? Given his tone of voice, it seems more like he would say "So what do you want from me?" or "What do you want me to tell you?" or maybe "So what are you really trying to ask?"

Uncle Phil chuckled dryly.

I dunno if I like the dryly there; I want to say "hollowly" but that has the wrong meaning here (even though he, being a void, is most certainly hollow).

I may enjoy puns too much.

“No kidding,” Discord chuckled.

I think this would have been a good point for a wry observation if you're going to have Discord throw in a line here; Discord chuckled is pretty weak.

His mother stood to his right, bright and translucent as always. Like any typical star cluster, she was so impossibly large and wide that it boggled the mind to attempt to think how big she really was. Don’t tell it to her face, though, unless you want to get smacked across the face. Her star cluster was consorted into a tightly packed ball, all the hundreds of thousands of stars so old that they gravitationally bound themselves together. Don’t mention that to her face either, for the same reason as before.

I think this is a bit repetitive, and could have been cut down a little bit; I think going into how impressive she is, and then ending the paragraph with a fat joke would have been much better payoff than trying to play the same joke twice in a row. Also, using the word "face" twice in the same sentence makes me itch.

His mother stood to his right, bright and translucent as always. The star cluster which formed her body was almost unimaginably vast, and yet, incredibly compact by their standards, a blazing beacon of a million suns burning and swirling around heach other, their combined gravity so dense that no one of them could ever possibly escape. It was best not to bring that part up, though; she hated it when people pointed out that her incessant dieting never seemed to reduce her mass.

Or something.

It might even be worth combining the two, really; having it start out with his mother, then go into his father, then him note how he didn't understand what they saw in each other, and then contemplate that sometimes he thought that it was because they were trapped in each other's gravity, but not to mention that to his mother and go in for the fat joke then.

He continued to cut off eye contact with his folks, however.

This is an unnecssary aside.

though he already came to the conclusion himself.

This is an unnecessary tell.

Discord shouted. His mouth were turned back into a snarl, and his eyes glowed with an inner rage that made a surprise appearance to shine forth.

This feels a bit stilted. Might be better to cut the dialogue tag, and go "Discord snarled, his golden eyes burning like embers." or something.

Dunno.

His entire body was just mismatched parts from other animals, covering his true form underneath. A form taking shape faster and faster to that of his parents. Of a form to truly spread entropy across the cosmos. And no matter how much he tried to cover it up, he knew who he was, what he was. He just didn’t want it.

I feel like this could have been made stronger.

His entire body was nothing more than mismatched parts, stolen from a variety of animals to cover his true form underneath, a dark well which burned and twisted inside his body, yearning to take on its true form, a form meant to sunder worlds and spread entropy across the cosmos. No matter how much he tried to cover it up, he knew who he was - what he was.

He just didn't want any part of it.

and she looked worriedly to his face.

This is an unnecessary tell.

And for the ending...

With a nod, Discord took another sip on his tea. “Heh, yeah, guess that’s true.” Looking into Fluttershy’s smile, he couldn’t help but smirk wryly. “I’m just relieved that I finally realized that.”

This ending isn't quite as strong as it could have been. I think something more like:

Discord nodded, taking another sip of his tea. "I suppose that's true."

As he looked up from his tea, he caught Fluttershy's smile. His parents would likely think it was a disease, but Discord knew better; it was not infection, but affection. As the corners of his mouth turned up in a grin, he chuckled. "I guess I just needed to hear it."

I still don't like the last bit, though; it feels like he SHOULD say something, and maybe going for something which is a reference to how Fluttershy is who really matters (as opposed to his impossibly vast parents) might work better. Maybe "I guess I just needed to hear it from someone important" or "someone who matters".

Dunno exactly, but I feel like it could benefit from dismissal of the vast things which lurk in the beyond.

4753074
You know, reading a story is like sex; it isn't a race to see who gets to the climax first.

A strong piece of writing, but after seeing him PWned by that escapee from Magic: The Cardplaying in the season finale, I really can't believe in a Discord on such a cosmic level: like Celestia at the end of season two, he has most definitely been Worfed. :raritydespair:

Let's just add an "Alternate Universe" tag to this one. :raritywink:

Fun story. Well done. Not sure how a star cluster makes sense as an incarnation of entropy though. Abyss and black hole makes sense, but star cluster hardly seems to fit that mold.

Still great story, interesting premise and you wring some great humor from cosmic objects with the traits of sentient beings.

4753290
Where did you find the banned 24h thing?

Boob <3 best boob stroy 2dae

4753136 go on, keep writing...

Being a nascent cosmic horror can put a serious crimp in your social life.

An excellent meditation on the inevitability of age, the difficulties of family, and what is lost by growing up. Thank you for it, Bob. :twilightsmile:

4753721 It's a quote from Skype, from Eldorado saying that the first commenter has been banned for 24 hours for first commenting.:derpyderp2:

Trick from Wonko The Sane. Discord can pick up a matching pair of jackets, then wear both, the outer one he turns inside out. Since in the abyss, everything that isnt Discord is Abyss, thn the inside of the jacket on the outside becomes the outside of the Abyss. :rainbowhuh:

Its been mathematically prooved that an infinitely long line, is a circle. This gets round the problem of integrting from minus to plus infinity, and depending what description you use, the loop isnt actually infinite in size either, but slightly smaller.

In a less than infinite universe, chaos becomes stochatic, which means if you write it out, you end u with a fixed tree of all possible states, each level of which is related by fibonnacci laws to the rest of the tree. Chaos creates the Golden Ratio. Perfect Order. :trollestia:

Discord's parents are pricks.

god damnit bob could you just for once write a shitty story.
i mean really this has gone too far.

4753074

upvoted congrats man

Some folks (nigh incomprehensible cosmic abomination entities) just cannot see the beauty of the little things in life. Spike, how many mustaches would you give this lil piece of fiction?

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

4753074 You got a lot of hate on you

:twilightangry2: Entropy and chaos are different.*

Entropy** is most frequently used in relationship to the process of energy and matter in a closed system decaying into a state of unchanging uniformity. Absolute order. Chaos**, on the other hand, is usually used to indicate a decided lack of order.

If anything, Discord reverses entropy while the Elements of Harmony encourage it.

*Even though chaos is sometimes used to refer to the formless matter that some suppose predates existence.
**Both have so many definitions and applications that they're in the set of words that're rapidly losing actual meaning. Like irony. Fuck you, Morisette. Fuck you.

Deep shit there...

...so very deep...

...huh? Oh, sorry, just looking at that black hole dude over there

4755659
Entropy doesn't necessarily involve a system which is unchanging or homogeneous; it really depends on the specifics of the system. Viewing it as ultimate order is... not really right. In fact, entropy leads to and is the cause of chaotic behavior in the long-term in ordered systems.

Chaos, in scientific terms, is actually not about the lack of order, but rather about an extremely high degree of sensitivity to starting conditions; from a scientific standpoint, randomness and chaos are extremely different things. "When the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future" is a pretty good description of the scientific meaning of chaos. A chaotic system is, ultimately, predictable (and therefore, is not random), but it may be difficult to predict.

Of course, chaos gets used for an enormous variety of concepts because it is a very old and very neat term.

4755982

Entropy may cause the perceived chaotic behaviour of organized systems over the short term but, in the end, everything collapses into a static and uniform state*. So ultimately he'd be contributing to the existence of an unchanging ordered existence which seems counter to his nature.

And about chaos.. That was something I touched upon. Chaos gets used like a cheerleader on prom night. Everything from Chaos Theory to a videogame boss. Several video game bosses and they all fucking cheat.

*Maybe. Quantum mechanics, string theory, whatever the hell is down there is busy doing it's own thing and controlling the universe, so who the hell knows? Maybe theres an itsy bitsy 'Reboot' button that causes the universe to explode when pressed. My personal theory is that existence is self aware and using us as the butt of a really odd joke.

4756026

Entropy may cause the perceived chaotic behaviour of organized systems over the short term but, in the end, everything collapses into a static and uniform state*. So ultimately he'd be contributing to the existence of an unchanging ordered existence which seems counter to his nature.

It doesn't actually collapse into a static state; the universe would be in (fairly close to) thermodynamic equilibrium, but stuff would still be moving around. As has been noted by physicists, the whole "heat death of the universe" thing is actually kind of questionable, as it isn't really clear that the universe can really reach a state of true thermodynamic equilibrium as a whole; indeed, maximizing the entropy of the universe doesn't even have a good definition.

There are many homogeneous, low-entropy states of matter as well (for instance, the early universe was homogeneous and had extremely low entropy).

Also it is worth noting that their universe probably does not actually obey the laws of physics; if it does, then someone like Discord would actually be creating an enormous amount of entropy.

Does the abyss have a doctorate? 'Cause Uncle Phil sounds really deep.:pinkiehappy:

4753273 I hadn't even read the story yet. I've never done one of those comments before, and decided to do it. I'm still gonna read this damn story though..

4753142 Sough rud3 mann, so rudeg.. :fluttershysad:

Is there a possibility for a sequel? :pinkiehappy:

4753074 I am helping this guy win his limbo contest. How low can you go?

Comment posted by Art Inspired deleted Jul 27th, 2014

4754847
I can't tell if you're speaking gibberish or actual math/physics/philosophy.

Science is weird like that.

4759056 I try not to do gbberish, but typos and grammatical errors, and being out of date makes a lot of problems.

In advanced theoretical mathematics, not only are there scalar tensors and spinors (back from the dead), but also things called fibre bundles, and I havent a clue what those are, unless its something to do with sets of quantized eigenvectors or something.

Fastest way to really annoy an advanced mathematician? Ask them if the Hilbert curve is continuous. Theres at least two conflicting camps and each have the maths to prove it. :trollestia:

That was certainly interesting, and if you allowed me to, I´ll do my little review.
I´ll start with the bad parts first, alright?


Your silence must be a "yes".

My only problem with this story is the Discord´s dialogue. He seemed a little our of character. It´s not his personality, not at all, but the words. He was too colloquial, different from his usually eloquent and sophisticated self. However the rest was great. You´ve thrown at out face a lot of headcanons which sincerely are simply great and imaginative. Bedsides, they are so vague that a more intense development would be really welcomed. However, that´s up to you. So, in concussion; great job!

4759451

Fastest way to really annoy an advanced mathematician? Ask them if the Hilbert curve is continuous. Theres at least two conflicting camps and each have the maths to prove it.

Is this one of those cases where, if you ask that in a room full of mathematicians, as long as at least ONE of them doesn't share the same view as the rest, it will invariably end in an argument, or even a fight?

Am I that ugly?

4760308

My favourite one is personal, because its very likely an increadibly stupid question, having a simple answer.

Why are complex numbers treated as having seperate real and imaginary parts, treated seperately, as in a+b, instead of two seperate parts, treated together, like integer+decimal fraction?

As in, 3.2i4.5 to make it a single number, instead of 3.2+i4.5, as in two totally seperate numbers, like saying 3.2 is 3+ 0.2 ? :twilightoops:

4756196 I find it amusing that no one has contemplated something very simple about Discord's relationship to entropy: his purpose may be to prevent their universe from approaching heat death by constantly injecting new potential energy into the system.

The true reason these cold-hearted gods act as they do is not mere arrogance. It's fear.

Fear that the mortals they despise shall one day rise beyond them!

And lo, Twilight Sparkle has begun to ascend! Soon, the old 'gods', so they call themselves, shall fall and all shall bow before the might of our Twilight Tyrant!

DEATH TO THE UNBELIEVERS!! :pinkiecrazy:

*Twilight Sparkle just pretends she doesn't know Alondro...* :twilightoops:

4753074
You know if knighty caught you, you would either be given a strike or suspended from the site immediately.

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