While normally far from the type to play video games, especially violent ones, Rarity finds herself convinced to join the girls in playing Black Sunset, one of the most popular games in the country. It's not long, however, until the game has her thinking about what's going on with her life. Namely, Spike. While the years had both washed over them, blossoming her into a mature, college educated woman and Spike into a fine lad himself on his junior year in high-school, his obvious interest in her has yet to fade. Rather, it's grown stronger.
A part of her yearns for the simpler times, back when he was a child with a childish crush.
But another faint, diminutive part of her is curious. Wanting. Wanting to sit back and listen to him. Listen to him express himself to her.
In his own way.
Thanks for the featured guys! It's a great honor!
----
Wrote for the contest in the Sparity group. Check out some of the other contenders, I'm sure they'll be top notch!
Special thanks to Peregrine Caged and Jake the Ginger for editing and being bros. Addational pre-reader thanks also goes to:
Thanks guys! Couldn't do it without you.
If is a love story between spike and rarity why does the cover art is with fluttershy?
Huzzuh, tis out!
@Merc the Jerk...
Not my particular cup of tea for fan-fictions, but you have some great positives which earned a Like from me regardless of story preference.
1. No glaring/major spelling errors
2. No obvious grammatical errors
3. Clean & clear reading format
4. Hale & hearty word-count
Cheers.
I love it!
3670979
Awfully lavender hair for fluttershy. Just sayin'.
3670984
And there was much rejoicing
3671164
Thank you kindly. I tried my best to make it at least grammatically correct, haha.
3671283
T-thanks. :3
3671598
3671598 You meant "awful art" this rarity hair color is very confusing. The creator should probably remake the art,
3671656
navyseal.txt
...they still didn't finish the paper, right?
Congrats on non-mature feature!
3671830
Oh neat!
Is was a nice story.
Congrats on your featured!
3672227
Thanks!
3672156
Appreciate it, pal.
3672241
I know this maybe sounds stupid to you, but I am so happy that you have used the same names as in your other works. They have some kind of recognition value to me and I think that Iabelle is the perfect name for Dash, I don't know why but maybe because Isabelle sounds in a way classy and Dash is the complete opposite
.
I really love this story and the writing is very good it's definitely favourited.
Another spectacular piece. Is this going to continue into the world of fantasy gaming? I hope so.
Really good story. I loved the connection between the real world and the video game and you did the changes of storyline really well. Good job.
MERC my god man. I love mmos, I adore Sparity, and you've just...my god man. How is anyone supposed to compete with this?
Anyway, this story is wonderful. I love how you intergrated gameplay and real life. The way you added in the characters was wonderful, and the way they matched up with their characters in the game was fantastic. (Though, what game is it that has so much customization?)
And the way you handled Spike/rarity aspect was wonderful. I love how Twila (currently) hasn't said much, even when Spike left mid game. And Dash was just the perfect touch.
(Also, I'm just assuming, you're going on the British concentration laws? Idk, it's just a headcanon of mine that Equestria is more British than American).
Spike is in highschool and doesn't know what the D is? Weird.
3673164
Concentration law? I'm not sure what that is, but Merc isn't gonna go Brit on anything, heh.
Ahh, so ey're playing an iteration of CoD.
. . .
I must ask, tis' it a silly place?
Let me assuage assumptions of malice by saying that I enjoyed the story. Normally I don't read much Sparity shipping, just not a ship that I keep my eyes peeled for when I'm browsing is all, but this one pulled me in, and I was not disappointed in the diversion from my usual search for other Rarity stories (*cough*Rarijack*cough*). A few minor complaints in flow or events here and there, but those come more from my pondering of what I would have done than out of any valid justification for criticism.
I guess - well it was the names that got me most. When I read humanized, generally speaking I'm not a fan of changing their names, but i understand the importance of artistic license, and it didn't really detract from the story for me any. The names struck me as close enough that I could easily matched each member of the Mane 6 to them.
Just - Camelot?
Really?!
TL;DR? I laughed, I cried, I pondered the significance of life, and the city name made me lol.
Congrats on the feature, This thing deserved it
3672497
I figure if I've used them this long, might as well stick to my guns and keep callin' 'em as I call 'em. I like the humanized names I made, so it's great seeing others enjoying them as well.
3672755
It'd be a fun thing to consider, though I'm not sure how long the gimmick could run in a chaptered story, haha.
3672800
Thanks!
3673164
I was just rolling with a number I knew was about world-average, to be honest. I always saw Equestria as Midwest America, due to Apples growing easily, multiple seasons, that kinda thing. Regardless, thanks for the words. I appreciate it.
3673471
To be fair, 'give her the D' might be a weird way for him to hear it.
3673629
Brits don't even know how to drink their tea, I sure ain't gonna listen to them on laws.
3673875
Yep, sounds like WarcraftofDuty: Ghosts to me.
3674224
Thank you. It's like RariJack to me: When done poorly, it doesn't work, when handled good, it's one of my favorite ships in the fandom. Glad you liked it, boyo.
3674272
When I humanize, I humanize hardcore, giving the ponies human names, and as such, I give the cities human names, where the pony versions were derived from. Manehatten becomes Manhattan, Canterlot becomes Camelot, and that sorta stuff.
RariJack, huh? I might have one of those going right now. If you like my style, maybe take a gander at that too. It's honestly mah pride and joy on the site.
Thanks again for giving it a chance, and I'm happy you enjoyed it.
3674324
Dunno if it deserved it, but I'm ecstatic it did. Thanks mate.
th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2012/238/3/3/atg_day_24__apple_locke__master_thief_by_paradigmpizza-d5ck67t.jpg
Couldn't find one of Rainbow Dash, >.>
Merc, come play Neverwinter. It's no BG2, but it's the most fun D&D MMO I've come across yet. You know you want to,
....oh, good story btw,
Edit this shit son! You're in the mature box. Batting for the big league, now
3671668 what?
yay
Damnit merc you jerk you owe me a new pair of sides. Your rainbow dash killed me.
3674377 I'd say it could make around 20-30 chapters, but it seems like short story material, I guess.
I liked this fic, nothing more needs to be said than that.
Well, I also have to say that I like the chapter title. I'm pretty sure Rarity got a critical.
Cheers, Null
WHERE IS MANKIRK'S WIFE?
Ah, WoW reference
Damn game is all kinds of impressive, but back to the story!
This was pretty solid, deep, and you really tugged Rarity along by the heartstrings, Excellent work
Brilliant just brilliant!
Adorable. Absolutely adorable and amazingly articulated!
The game mentioned in this story needs to be real. Is it based off of another game like it? If so what is it? But this was a very good story, I really like the was you portrayed Isabelle in it. That kind of person who always loses their temper in game, sometime that's me with TTT. And if I may ask, who exactly was Fluttershy in this?
I must congratulate you on a story well written. It's a unique approach to a familiar situation, and the end had 'D'AAAAW's a'plenty. Have a positive thumb, good sir. And a mustache.
3674457
But that'd involve me playing something online that's not an FPS.
3674832
yay!
3675460
i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee222/merc_the_jerk/feelssogoodclem2_zps5c8868f1.png
Very much yay.
3675924
I'm glad, as Dash was one of the things that let me enjoy even writing the dang thing at first, haha. She's a great character to ease people into a concept.
3675990
It's just one of those things that I feel if I expanded too much, I might as well do an original fiction around the same premise, to be honest. But it was a fun lil' ride, and that's all I wanted to do.
3676367
Thanks!
3678113
Nice to hear coming from you, champ. Appreciate it.
3679763
Thanks!
3680759
Really radical repetition, Batman! Thanks.
3683143
It's a hybrid from the amount of MMO's I put my teeth in. The big three or four inspirations are WoW, Everquest, Terra, and All Points Bulletin. Fluttershy in this was the girl named Chylene, who played Cennina in the game.
3683288
Yo, thanks dawg.
3683426 Seriously I fucking love this fic. It made it's way onto my top 10.
3683673
Considering you're co-writing "Hail Mary," a fic I like quite a bit, hearing that pleases me greatly, my friend.
3683755 o-oh, s-senpai!?
God dammit, Dash!
I don't know what I was expecting from this but I was pleasantly surprised. This was a charming fic. Good job.
I know this was meant to be a one-shot but I'd love to see this continued.
3674873
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
That.
3697390 lalw din't read :D
3697852
That's fine. It's an old joke; I just copy/pasted it.
3697862 We it wasn't funny :/
You can get out now.
3697874
I'm good thanks, bossman.
Merc and I are writing for the same contest. So I came to check out the competition.
3697885
Better get your submitted soon, nerd. Shop closes up soon.