Equestria's first warp drive - Alternate ending

by CCC

Chapter 24: Call For Help

“Computer.” said Pog. “Turn lights off, everywhere except the bridge. Turn off all non-essential systems, with the exception of communication.”

“Complying.” said the computer.

“Send out a general distress call.”

“Sending.” said the computer.

“Let me know if anyone repl-”

“You have a reply.” said the computer.

Pog grinned, briefly. “That was quick. Maybe my luck's turning around. On screen.”

There was a beep, and a human face appeared on the main screen.

Pog almost grinned. While humans might be pirates, he'd found that they were vulnerable to their own courts; if he made a contract with a human, he had far better odds of coming out the other end with the remains of his ship than he would have had he contracted with a fellow Ferengi merchant. (Admittedly, without a warp core it wasn't worth much more than scrap; but if he could somehow make it look like it was the human's fault that he didn't have a warp core, perhaps he could sue the human for a replacement anyway...)

“You called for help?” asked the human.

“Why, yes.” said Pog, working hard to keep a suitably contrite and not-at-all scheming expression on his face. “I have... most unfortunately... run into a little spot of engine trouble. If you could give me a tow back to the nearest inhabited planet, I'd be most grateful.”

“I've heard about Ferengi gratitude.” said the human, frowning. “Let's put it in the most straightforward way possible; you power down any weapons you've got, stay in your ship, and I'll give you a tow to the next inhabited planet I stop at... for one hundred bars of gold-pressed latinum.”

“Do I look like a rich Ferengi?” asked Pog. “I'll offer fifty.”

“I'd be willing to take part of the payment in goods.” said the human. “Your ship's got to be worth a few bars, at least.”

“Pirate!” accused Pog. “Would you truly take advantage of a poor Ferengi's state in such a cold-blooded manner!”

The human raised an eyebrow. “I could always just go away and come back later.” he said. “Perhaps you'd be more willing to accept a reasonable offer then?”

“Your offer,” said Pog, “is unreasonable to the point of ridicule. One hundred bars of gold-pressed latinum for a short tow?”

“Supply and demand.” said the human, calmly. “I have the only supply, and since you're stuck out here, you must have a lot of demand. Besides, you're not far from Orion; and you know as well as I do that anyone from there will charge you everything, up to the clothes on your back.”

There was a long silence. “Very well.” said Pog, eventually. “Seventy-five bars.”

“Ninety.” said the human. “And that's my final offer.”

“Why, you -” began Pog.

On his screen, he saw the human reaching for the 'end call' button.”

“Wait-wait-wait! Ninety bars is fine!” called out Pog, quickly.

“Excellent.” said the human. “Pleasure doing business with you. Might I ask your name, by the way?”

“Oh, I'm... Frem.” said Pog. It was ever so much easier to slip out of a contract if the wrong name was attached to it, after all.

“Well, then, Frem, my name is Captain Anderson. And I can reach you in just a few days.”

* * *

Back on a certain Federation trade ship, Captain Anderson pushed the control that terminated the call. He turned to the other person on the bridge; someone who'd stayed carefully out of sight of the camera pickup while the call was going on.

“Well,” said Anderson, “what do you think of that?”

“'Frem' was the name of kidnappers.” said Flim. “Could that have been them?”

“Very likely.” said Captain Anderson. “He's a Ferengi, he's in almost exactly the right place... would you like to take the news to the ladies in the front observation lounge?”

“I rather think I would.” said Flim, grinning. “Though it does seem terribly convenient that the ship we're chasing should develop sudden engine trouble...”

* * *

“Y'all ain't all that familiar with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Ah take it.” said Applejack, when Flim raised the same concern a few moments later in the forward observation lounge. “Even when she's not tryin', Ah've known Applebloom alone t'be able to reduce a sturdy barn to rubble in... oh... about half an hour. All three t'gether, if they try ta be destructive...”

“Oh, my.” said Rarity, picturing it. “There isn't going to be a spaceship left by the time we get there, is there?”

“As long as they don't puncture the outer hull.” said Twilight. “There's no air in space; if they let the air out of the ship...”

There was a long moment of silence as all seven ponies considered this unwelcome prospect.

“Sugarcube?” said Applejack. “D'ya think y'could ask Celestia t'send another letter via Spike?”

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Spike rushed along the corridor of the Ferengi ship, two rolls of parchment held in his mouth. He skidded past Flam kissing Dawn next to an unconscious Ferengi (and entirely failed to notice a subtle green glow around where Dawn's horn would be were she a unicorn) and ran straight to Engineering.

“STOP!” he yelled, running into the room and waving both arms.

“What?” asked Scootaloo, balancing on one foreleg on the main control panel.

“Letter from... Twilight.” panted Spike. “Stop breaking things.”

“Why?” asked Applebloom. A little above her, Scootaloo buzzed her wings frantically, trying to keep her balance.

“'Cos if... apparently if you break something called the hull, it'll kill all of us.”

“WHAT?” asked Applebloom. Scootaloo, unable to hold her pose any longer, fell off the control panel and landed on the ground with a *thump*.

“That's what she said.” said Spike. “Scootaloo, do you have another loose feather? I need to write a reply back."

“What's a hull?” asked Scootaloo.

“The body of a ship.” said Sweetie Belle.

“You mean like the walls?” asked Applebloom.

“Yeah, she said all the air would leak out.” said Spike.

“What're you gonna use for ink?” asked Scootaloo, tugging at a few of the feathers in her wings.

“I'm... not sure.” admitted Spike. “I was thinking maybe I could get Flam to help conjure up something, but he seems kindof occupied at the moment...”

“Oh!” said Sweetie Belle. “Are they kissing? That's so romantic!”

Scootaloo, on the other hand, pretended to throw up again.

“Comeon, girls!” said Applebloom, enthusiastically. “We're on an alien spaceship, miles from home, and somepony needs ink! We're never gonna get an opportunity like this again!”

“Opportunity?” asked Sweetie Belle. “What do you -”

“Cutie Mark Crusader Ink Finders!” shouted Applebloom.

“YAY!” chorused all three of the Crusaders.

Comments

[skunkstrype]

“Computer.” said Pog. “Turn lights off, everywhere except the bridge. Turn off all non-essential systems, with the exception of communication.”
Will the computer qualify the forcefields closing the cells as non-essential systems?

[FanOfMostEverything]

Even when she's not tryin', Ah've known Applebloom alone t'be able to reduce a sturdy barn to rubble in... oh... about half an hour.

Destruction is much easier when you intuitively understand how something was put together. Engie Bloom is a very good Bloom.

And poor, poor Pog. It just isn't his day. Also, now the Mane Six will get a chance to rest a little before the rescue. It's not like they need to streamline the warp field when the target is relatively dead in the water.

Looking forward to more.

[Levana]

4117568 Considering the fact that they're normally used for containing a boarding....

[strangephantasm]

LOL! Roughly five seconds after accidentally improving the ship, they initiate a warp core meltdown!
...And now I am terrified by the idea of what the Borg Collective could have achieved with them assimilated.

[CCC]

4257453

Actually, they did both at once... their new fuel mix was 20% cooler, but also had a tendency to destabilise the engine, which is why no Starfleet engineer would ever use it.

...And now I am terrified by the idea of what the Borg Collective could have achieved with them assimilated.

Ah swear, we didn't mean ta break the galaxy!

[PostPony]

4257763 you mean break the borg? cuz that is how you break the borg

[Shadow_8472]

I was fully expecting the human to be the Federation ship intercepting at Orion. Also, yay for another letter from home.

[tsaukpaetra]

Good quick thinking on the part of Anderson.