clopandcircumstance
Joined 6th Dec, 2013 ·
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I said that I would give this story a chance, and I will.
3603924 Dude, don't worry about it. I'm not writing anymore of it.
3603967 that is too bad. no one is perfect rite out of the gate, but the winners are the ones that complete the race. if you are stopping because others have down voted it than you are giving up too soon. yet if you are stopping to start a different project that you feel stronger for than you are doing the right thing. I will still read what is hear and give my opinion on it (it dose seem promising) but do not give up as a writer because of a few down votes.
3603967why not?
3604227 I am now watching you so I do hope to see more stories. for good or ill I support any form of creativity.
ouch.....looks like people mashed the dislike button on this story.
stay strong my fellow author! The first story can always be harsh.
I see a problem that might be deterring people. really long paragraphs. try to separate them into smaller section so it'll be easier for people to digest and read. Also indenting each paragraph might help as well.
3604264 Yeah, kind of bummer, but alot of you have still favorited, so thank you!
I had a lot of fun writing this, I just wish I wasn't making it so long and detailed. I really just need to cut to the clop already! 
I would also like to get some art for this, so I'm going to check around the art board to see if anyone's interested.
3604243thanks.
3604291 no prob. I've just observed the successful stories I've read and copied the stuff people seemed to like (things like format and presentation, not the story and characters).
I'll be watching your story, it's seems pretty interesting so far. Oh and one more tip before i get back to writing, be careful on how much you describe things in your story.
If you have to, post a picture of said person, place, or thing in the beginning of the story to avoid describing it for the next 1,000 words. I had a slight problem with over descriptiveness in my early days of writing stories to be honest.
3604326 yes. I'm going to have to go through it a few more times and delete adverbs and adjectives each time. It's always been a thing with me.
I would be somewhat more interested if it had less of a random element to it, but it's a good concept though. I think you should redo it over again and not make it as silly.
3604548 It's really random at the front because it's establishing story I had to get through to make way for the clop later. I guess I had to make it fun for myself somehow. Once it starts getting cloppy, it will be alot less random and goofy.
3604614 Sounds good to me, I think you're doing a pretty good job so far.
3604650 aww thanks
3604548
This.
There's also the fact that the first chapter made a lot of pot shots. Maybe some readers were put off by that as well. Now I wasn't, but I could understand if other people were.
Completely forgot to add this: The premise of this fic is, as far as I can tell, quite unusual! I'd feel sorry if the less than stellar reaction so far discouraged you from continuing.
Well, the beginning is a bit silly but interesting. I'll keep an eye on this story. May I give a few suggestions? It would be nice to have a chapter about Big Mac and another about the Flim Flam brothers. And if you also add a chapter about Discord and maybe one about Iron Will, I will love you forever!
I think you should expand it more, write about some the reactions of the girls and go more into detail. Otherwise, it's proceeding along pretty well I would say.
3605806 which part?
3605841 Chapter 2 in general, though it says it's a work in progress, I assumed it meant your just going to finish the chapter. I thought if you could add more stuff, like when the girls are in the wing of the castle and maybe when their talking to the assistant ponies. Perhaps expand on what they talked about.
sex toilets!
3605841
You sir got my fav and watch.
dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/12875849/reactions/disgonbgud.gif
3610114 YES!!! Thanks, and dude, I LOVE Mongrels!
Trust me there's some crazy clop comin' your way soon ;)
there needs to be more 'human female goes to Equestria and tries to take on a stallion.' stories.
3627702 I hear ya, bro! that's what I'm here for
What you got against Kentucky?!?!
3665714 Nothin'.
Now stop lookin' so blue in the face and enjoy some pony-on-girl action! 
When were princesses promoted to queens? Did I miss something?
Cool? Sweet smell? I'm disappointed.
I hope only pee of the queens is like this. 
No anal training? I hope the slaves will be properly trained to satisfy any stallion, no matter what he desires.
Well, I like the story so far. Funny, kinky. Can't wait for more!
3687577 Yep, just theirs. It's fucking magical or something...
3687561 Sorry, guess I ought to explain that somewhere, been asked about it alot. Faust's original canon was Celestia (and assumingly Luna too) as queens. http://fyre-flye.deviantart.com/art/Queen-260224781 I prefer this because politically, they are by all means queens. They're only called princesses because Hasbro insisted on it for the appeal of the word 'princess' to little girls.
3687597 You know, I feel stupid. I am being totally honest by saying I just forgot about the butt.
Thanks for reminding me, I may have to go back and expand on this chapter. These girls have alot more training to do now! 
Havent read all of the story yet but I hope the royal guard barracks get some chances with the new girls.
Such a stressfull job deserves rewards, especially after the canterlot wedding incident. Those poor guards definetly need some time off to enjoy themselves and satisfy their desires.
3691107 I thought that you where just saving that for the next level of training
Is my only reaction to the first chapter
I must say the carnival is my favorite chapter so far.
And thank you for taking my suggestion of the royal guards.
Again, A great set of chapters.
What the fuck?! Why do they take our women? They have how many mares? That's the majority of they're population isn't it?
You get nothing good from me!
Wow, Celestia is a bitch. We should teach her the error of her ways.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/77/Shield_Strategic_Air_Command.png
3865824 Be careful... she can take over control of our sun if she wants to!
What is?
Finally!
Sweet!
Kinky ....I LOVE ITA :)
3832213 rofl
They took our women, because stallions need something with 2 legs every ow and then
3765300 here here