It's Not As Hard As You Think
“Hm…”
Twilight hummed in the silence of the Golden Oaks Library as she flipped through the various pages of ancient Equestrian history books. Her brows furrowed as she closed the book that she was currently holding. An exasperated groan left her lips as she looked all around herself. Piles of books were strewn about, some with the covers still open and facing the ceiling and other face down with the pages bending, causing the corners of her eyes to gain a slight twitch.
“I’ve looked in almost every book in the library! I’ve gone through the history section at least five times. There’s go to be something in one of these books!” She pushed the book to the side and stood on her hooves.
There in the corner of the room, resting on a table, was the box that she’d so recently received from the Tree of Harmony. She hadn’t expected opening it to be easy, but she hadn’t expected it to be so hard either. At least with the Elements of Harmony, there’d been some sort of clue. She’d read about their whereabouts in a book. Here, there was nothing! Nopony’d even heard of the box before!
The box from the Tree of Harmony… Box of Harmony? Harmony Box? Harmonious Container of Polygonality? Six Keyed Mystery Box? Twilight shook her head and sighed, walking over to the table. This is what I get for spending my week researching this box. Now I don’t even know what to call it…
The box paid no attention to her thoughts, nor did it mind as she circled around it, giving each and every side a critical look for any structural weaknesses or patterns she could discern that would give her clues on where to begin her searching. Instead, it simply chose to sit there on the table and mock her with it’s silence.
She eyed every keyhole with diligence, but still nothing came to her. There were no hints this time. There were no clues.
“You could at least give me a little help, box! How am I supposed to know how to open you if you don’t give me any clues on how to start? What am I supposed to do? That’s why the tree gave you to me, right? To open you?” Twilight leaned onto the table, looming over the box. It was not intimidated in the slightest.
“Oh, come on! Box, I have things to do! I have to find out what’s inside you! It could be vital for the fate of Equestria!” Twilight backed away from the box and slapped her face with her hooves. Look at yourself, Twilight. You’re talking to the box like it’s a living thing… As if it’s going to—
Twilight blinked multiple times in surprise. The box was a centimeter forward from where it used to be. Almost imperceptible to the average eye, but Twilight’s trained pupils were able to distinguish the difference immediately.
“Y-you moved! You can understand me!” Twilight rushed over to the box, cradling its sides in her hooves. “Please! Please just open! I have to know! The girls may have gone back to their normal lives, but I just have to know!” Twilight’s whining was enough to make someone outside of her window groan in discomfort. She jumped in surprise and whirled around as quickly as she could, keeping her eyes open for the intruder.
Discord was outside of her window, resting his back on a group of shrubs that had been reformed into the shape of a couch. He stared blankly at Twilight as he picked his ears with a claw, pretending to have gone deaf. He snapped his fingers and was standing next to Twilight in an instant.
“Talking to inanimate objects again, Twilight? I thought you’d’ve known better after that whole ‘toaster incident’.” Discord chuckled as he made air quotes, pointing towards the stainless steel toaster in the corner of the room that had caused Twilight so much grief before.
Twilight blushed and stepped backwards, clearing her throat. “What are you doing here, Discord? Aren’t you supposed to be helping Fluttershy take care of the animals today, after that whole Everfree incident?”
“Well, she gave me the day off out of kindness. So I just came by to check up on what my other best friend was doing!” Discord leaned over Twilight and nudged her with his shoulder. “So, I heard you’re trying to open that box. Mind if I watch?” He snapped his fingers and one of the books that Twilight had been reading transformed into a couch.
“Why? What’s your goal?” Twilight eyed Discord suspiciously as he raised his arms in mock innocence.
“Oh, nothing. It’s just so fun to see you get frustrated! The way your nostrils flare… the way you jump up and down and scream… It’s just so adorable!” Discord flicked Twilight’s horn, causing her to scowl at him.
“Fine. You can stay I guess. It’s not like I could make you leave anyway now… Just… Try to be quiet, alright? I can’t have any distractions for this.” Twilight stepped back over to where the box was located as Discord sat and watched her.
Her horn lit up with magic as she reached out towards the box. She enveloped in the magical field and grasped it around the top, trying to pry it open. Okay, didn’t expect that to work anyway. Let me try… Twilight shifted the focus her magic towards one of the key holes. She tried to form it into the shape of the inner mechanisms of the lock in order to find out what sort of key she would actually need.
To her surprise, she could feel nothing. Whatever sort of magic was keeping the box closed wouldn’t let her own magic go any further than the entrance of the keyholes. Twilight groaned and set the box down once again, nostrils flaring in anger as Discord giggled at her.
“I don’t think you’re going to be opening it like that, Twilight. Oh, and the answer is so deliciously easy!” Discord snapped his fingers once and a bag of popcorn appeared in his hands. He chewed some of the popcorn, relishing the taste. “Thish ish delicioush, Twilight! Want some?” He spoke through a full mouth.
Twilight gritted her teeth and looked at the box once again, reassessing the situation. Brute force wouldn’t work. She’d already tried bucking it with Applejack, and that had yielded no result. As she paced around the wooden table, her eyes opened widely in recognition. Her horn lit up once again, only this time she grabbed a bobby pin from one of her drawers. Surely this would work?
She opened it up and pressed the bobby pin against the keyhole. Instead of going inside, it merely stopped at the black emptiness that was the opening to the abyss and bent inwards. Twilight pushed harder with her magic, trying to force the bobby pin into the hole. After just a few moments of extra pressure, the pinned snapped. One of the pieces ricochet wildly, hitting Twilight square in the eye.
“Gah!” Twilight rolled around the floor in pain as Discord rolled alongside her, laughing his tail off. Twilight got up and stomped on Discord’s tail, holding him in place. “Discord! You know how to open this thing! Tell me, now!”
Discord simply wiped a few tears from his face and looked innocently at her. “But Twilight, that would ruin the riddle! I do love a good riddle!” Her looked Twilight square in the eyes as a mischievous glint formed in them. “Besides… Aren’t you supposed to be learning a lesson or something?” An evil glare from Twilight only caused him to giggle more as he shifted his weight, causing her to trip over his tail. “Heed my words, Twilight. Sometimes the simplest answer is the best one!”
Simplest answer is the best one… That’s it!
Twilight jumped up from her stunned state, nearly tripping again, and grabbed the keys to the library off of the rack near the door. Surely this had to be the answer? She’d found the box in the forest. The forest had trees. Tree houses by definition were made of trees and wood… Right?
Twilight shrugged and took her house keys to the box. This was the last thing she was going to try today, and then she’d give up and go check on her friends. She pressed her housekey up to the keyhole. It bounced right off, producing a clink sound. Twilight blinked in surprise.
“What the… Why would it clink if that’s a keyhole? Unless…” Twilight put her face up to the ‘keyhole’ and peered inside. Sure enough, it was just the same crystal as the rest of the box, only indented a few inches from the rest of the surface and painted with some sort of black paint. Twilight’s jaw dropped open in surprise. A week wasted. All for a fake box.
In her blind rage, Twilight picked up the box and prepared to throw it. As she did, her hoof bumped up against the underside of the box. She turned it upside down and peered at it. On the clear bottom of the box was a little golden latch, just begging to be flipped so that the box could reveal its contents.
“Are you kidding me?” Twilight stared at the latch as her whole body twitched. “You’re telling me that nopony’s heard of this thing before, and none of us could figure out the secret… AND ALL WE HAD TO DO WAS TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN?!” Twilight took a few deep breaths to calm herself and placed her hoof on the latch. With a light flick upwards, the latch unlocked.
“This’d better be worth it,” Twilight muttered under her breath.
She opened the box, and inside was… nothing. Twilight blinked absentmindedly as her brain struggled to process what she was seeing. She moved the box around, looking from every angle. No matter where she looked, she could see nothing of note inside the box. It was just the same crystal substance the outside was formed out of.
“So, Twilight, did you learn a lesson?” Discord looked over her shoulder with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Yes. I did. Priorities are important. Sometimes things inside random boxes in the middle of trees aren’t as exciting as you thought they’d be.” Twilight sighed and rubbed her temples. “And that sometimes the simplest answer is the right one. Now… I have a headache, Discord, so just… Go away. I’m going to go take a nap or something…”
Discord watched intently as Twilight shuffled her way upstairs, groaning the whole time. As quietly as possible Discord picked up the box and flipped it over, making sure to keep it open. Another click was heard, and this time a hinge swung open from inside the box. In an instant, the floor was covered of pictures of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna in costumes. He chuckled as he picked them up and shuffled them into a deck.
“It’s a good thing she didn’t think to flip it back over again… She just missed those embarrassing pictures of you and Luna at my Halloween party!” Discord chuckled and disappeared out the window, leaving the useless ornate box sitting on the table.
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BOX
That reference!
OH.
MY.
G-D.
*quiet
That was an awesome little pick-me-up during these stressful times.
A fine little piece considering its only purpose, I say.
This is a pretty funny story. Reminds me a lot of this one.
I do say that I quite thoroughly enjoyed this story.
I swear if it's not Gwen's head...
LESSON
.............
Patrick comes to mind at the end of this story.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Was not the reference I was expecting...
Okay, so first I giggled, then I saw the reference...
I'm just about dead, m'kay. This was great.
3580234>>3580251>>3580275>>3580278>>3580319>>3580341>>3580343>>3580378
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/11/23/479330__safe_twilight+sparkle_exploitable+meme_princess+twilight_hub+logo_spoiler-colon-s04e02_princess+twilight+sparkle+-dash-+part+2_spongebob+squarepants_box_reference.png
Heh heh, good show, Jolly good show.
Well, if this doesn't put some WD-40 on your brain-gears, you'll...have to write another nifty story like this one. It would be interesting if the box presented something different to other ponies every time that little door was opened. (Hmm...there's an idea..)
I'll give this an upvote and you a watch.
I'm still going with knighty's explanation of the box.
filled with dragon dildos, and opening it turns Spike into an alicorn.
not sure if it was the alcohol or the immense amount of insanity-driving power flowing through his veins. I'd venture to say a bit of both. But that works too. shoulda been Discord's porn stash
Must... not... link... dick in a box song...
wow. Amazing story,as always.
I think it should be pin, and ricocheted. That's all I found.
3580319 And this one.
What's in the box?
Who gets the box?
How much is what's in the box worth?
Storage Wars.
Also, dat Spongebob reference
Love that idea of what's in the box and how it's actually locked. Sounds like something Discord would do.
Inside the box is...
Another box! Haha!
Also, love that Spongebob reference. The one above is just my headcanon.
It's "Nightmare Night" party.
brilliant!
although, I must agree with 3593814
Shamefully I didn't get the Spongebob reference until reading the comments, despite being an avid watcher back in the day.
This is my first attempt at the whole "give review, get review" malarkey, but annoyingly, there's really not much to critique here. It's written exceedingly well! Characterization is nigh-on perfect. Perhaps could've done with being a tad longer since this was such a great idea. Would've liked to have seen some Spike in there for example, if only briefly.
Also, is it just me, or is Twilight getting eye injuries becoming a real thing now? Her hoof, the sun glare...now box pieces.
Every time I look at that title it reminds me of this:
From UHF (its a Weird Al movie)
First thought.
4413219
I actually have a story based off of Dick in the Box
Good thing the opening under the box opened to a alternate universe of emptiness and for real there was rainbow power and a big crystal tree castle inside.
Maybe if you saw what's inside you'd know why it has to be secret. Inside this box is the most secretly secret of all of secretdom and I am its sole witness! Nobody must know! Not even... Squidward's house.