• Published 11th Mar 2012
  • 16,246 Views, 625 Comments

Discord Babysitting - ChinchillaQueenMidori

In an alternate reality, Discord's been the best babysitter in Equestria for two thousand years.

  • ...


Discord Babysitting

The cutie mark crusaders were still sitting on the couch, watching the TV like lazy couch potatoes. Apple Bloom tilted her head to the side and said, "Who knew they had such lovely underground underwater cities on the moon."

"It's the Lunar Republic, pretty cool actually," Scootaloo mentioned as she raised her brow at the show they were watching. "Though, I gotta question their tastes in gameshows."

"We'll be back to extreme underwater basket weaving after these commercials!" The girls groaned when the TV announced this and continued to watch. "There's a new Mare E. Kate and Ash Lee movie coming out, 'Mare E. Kate and Ash Lee go Shopping'!"

Sweetie Belle jumped on all four in shock and shouted, "Olsen Twins?!" Her eyes glowed red as she cried, "KILL!" and leapt at the TV. Her horn slammed into the screen, cracking into it and making it spark a few times before going dead. She hanged there limply, horn stuck, and after a brief moment said, "We are now rid of the evil Mare E. Kate and Ash Lee."

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo's cheeks inflated in anger as they walked over. Looking up at her, Scootaloo said, "Nice going Sweetie Bi-polar! Now we'll never see if Mjolna has what it takes to beat the moon champion!"

"Worst of all, we can't watch TV no more!" Apple Bloom bucked the TV, knocking Sweetie Belle out of it and to the floor. She shook her head and blushed nervously. "Now what are we going to do for entertainment?!"

The group blinked and looked among each other getting the same idea, just as Discord walked through a door that appeared out of thin air. "People should draw fan art of me as Faust." He froze and looked down to see the three fillies clinging to him with watery eyes. "Let me guess, Olsen Twin commercial?" They all nodded together. "So the TV is broken huh? Sounds like story time to me!" He picked them up and juggled the three fillies, sitting in the couch and catching them. He set them down and said, "So who would you girls like to hear about next?"

"Fluttershy used to be our babysitter," Scootaloo began. "She was busy tonight with the ceremony, but it makes me wonder if you ever babysat her."

Discord shook his head and said, "Actually Fluttershy has always been a very mature and responsible mare, taking care of herself despite being a frail filly. I did give her some advice on babysitting when she got older. The only time I really took care of her in her youth was that time she needed a new home."

Sweetie Belle blinked and asked, "Why did Fluttershy need a new home? Did something happen?"

Discord chuckled and patted her on the head. "Silly filly, you heard the story about how she got her cutie mark right? After that she moved out of Cloudsdale and to Ponyville so she could be closer to the ground, and all her new animal friends. She was so young, she couldn't find a home all on her own, so I helped her find one."

"Ah didn't realize Fluttershy was capable of living on her own. That sure is mature for a filly, an' you wouldn't suspect since she's so scared of everything." Apple Bloom giggled thinking about it.

Discord chuckled and said, "Let me tell you the story of how I helped that filly find a home back when I was taking care of her."


"Thank you ever so much for looking after me while I try to find a home mister Discord." Fluttershy walked around town slowly, looking around with a curious smile. "I hope helping me find one isn't too much of a bother."

Discord walked alongside shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked around too. "Think nothing of it Fluttershy. After you worked up the courage to save me from that army of robotic clowns, it's the least I can do. Maybe we should ask around for some help."

"Oh, I don't want to trouble anypony."

"HI! I'm Pinkie Pie!" Fluttershy squealed as a pink pony seemed to burst from the ground in front of her and fell on her back. "You must be new to town because I've officially met everpony in town and I know I didn't miss one!"

Discord chuckled and said, "Don't worry Fluttershy. This is just Pinkie Pie, a friend of mine. Pinkie, this is Fluttershy, and she's moving in to town all on her own. The problem is she needs a home. Can you help us find one?"

Pinkie's smile grew and she started bouncing in a circle around Fluttershy. She sang, "Fluttershy here needs a home, because she's living on her own! A place to make her safe and warm, by a fire while eating corn! A bed for you to get forty winks, everything plus the kitchen sink! Don't worry Fluttershy, never fear, because your new friend Pinkie is heeere!" Fluttershy giggled and Pinkie helped her back up. "Did you like my song?"

"It was lovely! Thank you Pinkie, you've already made me feel so welcome in this town!" The two fillies hugged, right before Discord scooped them up in his hand.

"Alright you two, now that the introductions are over, can we get back to house hunting?" He pressed a finger against each of their tummies and tickled them, making the fillies flail and giggle. He set them back on the ground and the three of them walked together now. "What we need is something fresh, something new, and something... under construction!" He pointed out a building with its wooden frame up but not built yet. "Maybe when they're done building this house you can live here!"

Fluttershy and Pinkie tilted their heads, Pinkie falling on her side with a cute yelp. Fluttershy shook her head and said, "Oh no, I couldn't possibly live here. It hasn't been built, and what if some other pony intends to live here when it's done? It's probably too big for a little filly like me anyways. Not only that but-"

A finger met her lip cutting her off as Discord said, "Whoa there Fluttershy, You're far too worried about this! When it comes to getting a home, or doing anything for that matter, you can't worry so much about it!"

Fluttershy sulked a little and said, "But that's what I do Discord. I worry and make sure everyone is happy before I think about myself."

Pinkie crawled upright and giggled. "You need to stop worrying if we're gonna find you a house. Be a little more laid back and relaxed, like Discord! Sing her the song Discord!"

"But I don't have a ukulele." He blinked as Pinkie already had one ready in her mouth. "Smarty pants. Well if you insist." He took the ukulele and began to play it was he walked over to the building frame, turning back to the girls with a big smile as he sang, "I'm so happy, haha, happy go lucky me. I just go my way, living every day. I don't worry! Worrying don't agree. Things that bother you-" He gave the frame a kick with his heel and it collapsed instantly. "Never bother me!"

Pinkie took out a trombone, beginning to play as Discord cart wheeled back over, holding up a pair of curtains to his sides. "Things that bother you never bother me, I feel happy and fine!" He dropped the cloaks to reveal a confused Princess Celestia and Luna to his sides. "Living in the sunlight; loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time!" He slammed a pie in both their faces, and took out a coffee mug. "Haven't got a lot, I don't need a lot, coffee only a dime." He held the mug upside down over Fluttershy and she was buried in a pile of bits, and turned around to start drawing goofy faces on the bottoms of the pie tins. "Living in the sunlight; loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time!"

The tins fell to reveal a rather annoyed Celestia, while Luna munched away happily on the pie she'd caught in her mouth. Fluttershy emerged from the pile of coins just in time to watch Discord run from Celestia as if he were wearing roller blades, Celestia giving chase angrily. Discord came back from the opposite direction and snatched up Fluttershy, putting her in a basket. He wore a pink dress as he walked along, continuing to sing. "Just take it from me; I'm just as free as any daughter. I do what I like, just how like, and how I love it!"

With a snap of his fingers he was wearing a suit and a bowler cap, as well as Fluttershy, Pinkie, and even Luna. Celestia's voice could be heard in the distance shouting, "Why did my crown become this round hat? Discord! Discooord!"

He set Fluttershy down and the four of them strut down the street together in a line. Discord went on, "I'm right here to stay, when I'm old and grey, I'll be right in my prime! Living in the sunlight; loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time!" He made a cane appear and began to hum as he walked aiming the cane at a muffin on a table and making it grow so big it smashed the table beneath it, only to be quickly clung to by a filly Derpy. He aimed the cane again at a pair of mares, one sulking next to her fancy dressed friend who was smirking at her. The fancy dress teleported to the sulking pony, making her grin at her friend. Her friend blushed and covered herself at her sudden exposure. Discord then aimed the cane at a filly Lyra, whose hooves became hands and her stature went upright. She arm pumped with a "Booya!" and ran off.

Their outfits vanished, and Discord fell back into a beach chair under a beach umbrella. He put on sunglasses and rested his hands behind his head, Luna reappearing at his side in a hula outfit holding grapes, as well as Celestia to the other side of him fanning him with a giant leaf. "Just take it from me; I'm just as free as any daughter. I do what I like, just how I like, and how I love it!" Celestia broke the leaf in half and screamed as she chased Discord this time, while Luna munched on the grapes happily.

As Discord flew from Celestia he finished, "I'm right here to stay, when I'm old and grey, I'll be right in my prime! Living in the sunlight; loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time!" Pinkie handed Luna a xylophone, and with her own trombone the two of them played the finishing notes of the tune before stopping. Discord screeched to a halt, Celestia crashing into him with a derp face. "Can I help you?"

"Help me?!" Celestia growled and said, "I have just been pulled away from my royal duties, my sister from her nap, just to be pawns in your gallivanting song down the street, and for what? To be pestered and annoyed by you as I am on a daily basis?"

Pinkie walked up and said, "Aww, don't get mad your majesty. I asked him to sing the song. We were just having a little fun."

Discord handed Fluttershy a stuffed panda doll and held her up. "We just want to help Fluttershy here find her very own home. You don't want her to be a sad panda do you?" Fluttershy's eyes were wide and shimmering as she cuddled the panda plushie.

Celestia bit her lower lip shrinking back from the cuteness. "Alright, fine, nopony's in trouble. While I'm here, is there any way I can help?"

Rubbing her chin in thought, Fluttershy said, "I'd like a place close to lots of animals. Is there anything like that around here?"

"There is one place." With a flash of her horn, Celestia transported the group just outside of, "The Everfree Forest. There are lots of animals in these woods that live wild lives without the influence of ponies."

Fluttershy gasped and said, "Those poor things! But who will protect them from predators?"

"Perhaps you will?" Celestia smiled and giggled. "Why don't we go find you a place nearby?"

"NO!" Fluttershy hovered out of Discord's hands, still clinging to the panda. "My house will be right here on the hillside outside the forest, so all the animals will have a safe place to come to."

Discord scratched his head and said, "Fluttershy, the Everfree forest is a dangerous and spooky place. Do you really think you can handle living so close to-" Fluttershy looked at him with those big sad eyes, while sad violin music played. He gulps and says, "Alright, we'll build your house here. You can stop with the violin music Pinkie."

"I don't own a violin."

Everyone looked to see Celestia playing the violin with her magic. She giggled and said, "I couldn't resist. Come on everypony. If we work together we can get this done in no time!"

Discord and Pinkie leapt into the air and shouted together, "Montage!"

Everyone had dawned hard hats and construction vests. Discord rolled out a blue print and began going over it with everypony, while Pinkie went by holding one end of a long plank of wood. Everyone paused when they noticed the plank was still going by after a few seconds. They tried to ignore it, but as Pinkie went by holding the opposite end waving, they paused for a moment. Another Pinkie ran after them with a bucket of nails in her mouth, and they went back to discussing the blue prints.

Celestia and Luna used their magic to saw the wood and set it into place. Fluttershy hovered backwards up the planks holding nails in place. Pinkie walked up after her with suction cups on her feet, a hammer in her mouth as she slammed the nails into the wood. Discord was nearby waving pom poms as he shouted, "Build that house, build that house, goo team!" He jumped and did the splits, his eye twitching a little.

Pinkie noticed the river and a light bulb appeared above her head, Discord grabbing it with a "Thank you!" and walking off with it. Pinkie built a straw bridge over the river and held her nose in the air proudly, until a wolf walked up and coughed on it, making it fall into the river. Pinkie grumbled and got to work, building a wooden bridge over it this time, but the wolf sat there staring at it. He blew on it, and the bridge collapsed as well, making Pinkie stomp on all four in a circle growling. Pinkie then decided on a stone bridge, panting when it was done. "What do you think of that?!" The wolf walked up, pushing a cannon, and aimed it at the bridge before lighting it. Covering his ears with his paws, Pinkie flipped the cannon to face him, and when it went off he went flying into the horizon howling. "Say, this would be great for parties! Mine!" She pushed it off giggling.

Once they had built the house everypony stared at it, tilting their heads and sticking out their tongues. Fluttershy said, "It's still missing something." Discord snapped his fingers and took out a bag of seeds, flying around the house and sprinkling them all over it. He then dragged a cloud over, and began to moon walk in place on top of it, pumping his arms and laughing. The cloud grew dark, and rained down onto the house. He moved the cloud and Celestia's horn glowed radiantly, the sun quickly matching, until all the seeds grew and covered Fluttershy's house with a leafy green coat. She squealed and said, "It's perfect! Oh thank you everypony, I'll never forget this!" She flew to everypony one by one, giving them hugs. She then grabbed her panda and flew inside.

Celestia turned to Discord and said, "Me and Luna took care of the furnishings. I'm sure Fluttershy will make a lovely addition to Ponyville. I trust you and the other citizens to take care of her Pinkie Pie?"

"You can count on me your royal highness!"

"And Discord," she walked over and her face got close to his. "This isn't over."

Discord smirked and said, "Whatever you say your royal fanny." She held up her hoof to make a "I'm watching you" gesture before flying off.

Luna watched her go and said, "She'll be fine, she's just still upset about the break up."

"It was hundreds of years ago. You'd think she'd be over it." Discord shrugged.

"Yeah, but it doesn't help that you mess with her all the time. Hey, speaking of hundreds of years ago! I wanted to thank you again for helping me with the Nightmare Moon incident. I still haven't paid you back for that! Seriously, anytime!" She flew off after her sister.

Discord watched them go, until he noticed Pinkie had a canon. "Hey, where'd you get that?"

"I stole it from a wolf."

"Oh, it's nice."

"Thanks, I'm gonna use it at parties."


"And that's how Fluttershy got her house! The end." Discord shut a book he was holding and set it in his lap, removing a set of glasses.

Sweetie Belle looked at the cover and said, "Mister Discord, why were you looking at 'Diary of a Wimpy Filly' while telling us that story?"

Discord shrugged and said, "The same reason I'm wearing these glasses, to look intellectual, of course. You know, re-telling that story reminds me I never cashed in that favor from Luna."

"Whoa. You got a favor from Princess Luna? That would be awesome!" Scootaloo grinned thinking of what she would ask for.

Apple Bloom asked excitedly, "Do you know what you're going to ask for yet?"

Discord got a light bulb above his head and said, "As a matter of fact I do!" He grabbed the light bulb and sprinkled salt on it, tossing it in his mouth and munching it down.


Princess Celestia lay in her bed, sleeping contently. She felt a shift in her bed, and used her magic to remove her night mask. She blinked and looked in the bed next to her, seeing Tom. She leapt out of bed screaming, and as she did her sister appeared in a puff of smoke. She had vampiric fangs and looked like Nightmare Moon, hissing and cackling. Celestia screamed again, but her screams were interrupted by a voice saying, "Celestia dear, come back to bed." She twisted her head around to see Tom was gone, and Discord was laying under her covers patting the bed welcoming. She screamed at the top of her lungs and ran into her bathroom, the shower quickly heard being turned on.

Luna spat out the fangs she was wearing and changed back to her normal appearance. "Okay, there's your favor you goof. A thousand years just for that?"

"It was worth it!" Discord laughed rolling around on her bed holding his sides.

Luna laughed and said, "I'm glad you're happy. I just hope sister can raise the sun tomorrow. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm still needed at the ceremony."

"And I'm needed babysitting." Discord shook her hoof and vanished, Luna calmly walking out of the room.

Celestia growled from the shower and said, "That does it! Curse you Discord, this little game of yours ends now!"

End Part 4