• Published 12th Mar 2012
  • 13,549 Views, 986 Comments

The Great Slave King - TalonMach5

King a slave of the diamond dogs, becomes a god and plots his revenge against those who wronged him.

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The Magically, Naive, Aggravating, Reluctantly Chivalrous, and Tricky Adventure

“Clover, would you prepare another pot of tea for your old master?” an ancient looking unicorn asked his protégé. The unicorns once vibrant blue coat now was faded and grey, and his once pink beard and mane, were now as white as the driven snow. The unicorn used his powerful magic, to turn the pages of a tome even more ancient than he. The bells on his robe tinkled lightly as he read studied the pages.

“Yes master,” a youthful voice replied from the kitchen. Out from the kitchen trotted a blue unicorn, with a black mane carrying a teapot on a silver platter in his mouth. “Master Starswirl, I hope lemon poppy seed is okay, it was the only flavor left in the pantry.

Starswirl the Bearded, smiled kindly at his assistant. Ever since the unceasing snows had arrived, food was in short supply. These were perilous times, they were lucky to have any food at all, let alone tea. “Yes, Clover, it’s fine. Thank you.”

“Master,” Clover the Clever, asked with concern, “if this snow continues for much longer, I don’t see how anypony can survive.”

“Yes, Clover,” Starswirl replied, “it’s almost as if all the elements of Equestria are fighting for supremacy.”

“It’s not just the elements either,” Clover said, “I think it’s affecting everypony as well.”

“Oh,” Starswirl inquired, “do tell, Clover.”

“The earth ponies have started refusing to sell food to the unicorns, and pegasi,” he said. “Additionally, the griffins have been raiding caravans, the Diamond Dogs have been taking to ponynapping anyone they can catch, and dragons have been reported, raiding far flung settlements. I’ve even heard tales from the coast that the seaponies have taken to piracy.”

“Clover, I believe I know the cause of our weather troubles,” Starswirl said. “Lady Zephyr has been sending her windigos to avenge the death of Lord Darkpaw.”

When Clover heard this he frowned. “How could one of the primary elements ever be killed?” he asked.

Starswirl poured himself a cup of the sweet team, and inhaled its aromatic flavor. “That’s the mystery, my faithful student,” he said. I’ve been pestering Celestia to allow us to send an expedition into the Diamond Vale ever since it exploded two years ago.”

“You mean the capital city of the diamond dogs?” Clover asked.

“Yes,” Starswirl said. “The Diamond Vale lied inside a dormant volcano, between the Equestrian badlands and the wurm crag mountains.”

"Isn’t that the lair of Lord Ouroboros?” Clover asked, as he helped himself to some of the steaming hot tea.

“Very good Clover,” Starswirl said. “I see you’ve been studying your geography.” Well as you probably already know, while the center of Equestria is the domain of Celestia and Luna. The territory of the prime elements lies on the borders on Equestria itself. To the south sits the den of Lord Darkpaw, the east holds the lair of Lord Ouroboros, in the north stands the aerie of Lady Zephyr, and to the west rests the citadel of Lord Triton.”

“And connecting them all are Jormungandr’s network of rivers,” Clover said, finishing the geography lesson.

“Quite correct Clover,” Starswirl said, “now until two years ago; relations between the prime elements had been quite harmonious more or less. I mean there was the occasional ponynapping by diamond dogs, or an odd griffin attack or two on caravans, but nothing on the scale that’s being seen now a day.” Starswirl paused to refill his teacup, and took a sip of tea. “But what alerted me to the possible death of Lord Darkpaw was at the last Grand Galloping Gala, he was nowhere to be seen. When I inquired about the matter, I was advised he was refusing to attend any further diplomatic functions of any kind. When I saw Lady Zephyr, all of her feathers were dyed black, a sign of mourning. It was rumored that she and Darkpaw were lovers.”

“Wouldn’t the loss of a Primary element throw the whole world into chaos?” Clover asked in concern.

“Yes,” Starswirl said, “without the element of Earth, the Water would flood the land, drowning out Fire and isolating Air. Causing the deaths of everypony that might survive the flooding, when Equestria freezes solid. Since the world didn’t end, either Lord Darkpaw is still alive, or somepony else is running things in his place.”

“So you intend to send an expedition to the Diamond Vale to see what happened, and entreat the new Lord of Earth to make peace with the other Prime elements?” Clover hypothesized.

“That’s it precisely, Clover,” Starswirl said, while using his magic to write a letter on a scroll. After a few minutes he had finished writing, and sealed it with a magic seal. He levitated the scroll to his protégé, “Clover, my faithful student,” Starswirl said. “I want you to travel to the Castle of the Pony Sisters, and deliver this letter to Princess Celestia.” Starswirl then levitated a second scroll to his student, and continued, “If Celestia refuses my request, give this scroll to Princess Luna. She may be more amicable to taking proactive measures.”

Clover placed both scrolls inside his saddlebags, and prepared to head out into the cold. Before he left Starswirl levitated, his old adventuring cap, and placed it on Clover’s head. “But master, your hat,” Clover protested.

“Nonsense,” Starswirl said, brushing aside Clover’s protests, “It’s been ages since my hat has been on an adventure. You can give it back to me, when you’ve returned and told me all about your many adventures.”

Clover felt touched, that his master thought so highly of him, that he would give him his prized adventuring cap. Waving goodbye to his master Clover opened the door to the outside, and headed out onto the frozen landscape.


Shanks was running as fast as his legs could carry him. They had gotten almost everyone else last night, and now they were rounding up the ones who had gotten away, for the not-Darkpaw. Ever since the world ended two years ago, his clan had been on the move. The day before the world ended, his pa had told him the not–Darkpaw was now the big boss. The next day the world ended, and his family escaped out into the badlands. Shanks didn’t mind leaving home so much, but he did miss his older siblings. When Shanks had asked why they weren’t coming with them, his ma had sadly said, “They were with Lord Darkpaw now.” He didn’t quite understand why ma was so sad. No one could beat Lord Darkpaw, he’s the best. Not even the mighty Ouroboros dared challenge him. Shanks wished he was big enough to join his brothers. They were all probably being trained for Lord Darkpaw’s army, to stop the not-Darkpaw. Last night his ma and pa had told him to run as far away as possible, and that if they didn’t meet up later, they would be reunited together with Lord Darkpaw and his brothers.

Being a runt, he wasn’t very tough, but he was fast. So Shanks ran, and kept running as far as he could go. He was prepared to run all the way to the sea if he needed to. Suddenly, he heard growling and barking. Shanks shivered in fear as he tried hiding himself in the tall grass of the badlands. He stood stock still, trying to determine if they were Gem Biters like him, another clan, or even worse, the bad dogs. When Shank’s nose smelled their scent, he was relieved, they weren’t the bad dogs. However, they were from a rival clan, the Emerald Eaters. Shanks thought about trying to warn them about the bad dogs, but was worried that they might work him like a pony or a griffin, and so decided against making his presence known. Once they had moved off, Shanks resumed running towards the sea like his pa had told him to. He was determined to keep running until he met up with his parent’s or was reunited with his brothers.


The windigos were running wild again. Shaw hated his job. Those harpies back at the eyrie always gave him the fledgling jobs no one else wanted. Like running messages and mending nests. Today he was supposed to round up several windigos that had wandered away from their prescribed area, and were annoying an allied pony settlement. This was a job for rookies, rejects, and people on the list. Guess which one he was. Offer to preen the eyrie matriarch’s daughter once and suddenly you’re stuck doing remedial flying till the end of time. Soaring high above the cloud cover, Shaw saw those bucking Windigos. They were preparing to generate malice on a couple of ponies below. Trying to approach them stealthily, Shaw flew with the sun, hoping to place the bridle of peace on the alpha windigo before he was seen. Suddenly the clouds above him moved, and surprise, surprise the bucking windigos saw him.

“By Zephyr’s shell,” he swore, slowly approached the alpha windigo. “What the hay will it take, for you to come peacefully?” he asked the brute.

The Alpha windigo smarmily flicked it’s tail at Shaw, then snorted derisively at him. Rearing up on it’s hind legs the alpha windigo whinnied to the other two, then ran through the sky towards parts unknown.

“Celestia bucking windigos,” Shaw swore loudly, chasing after them. It’s was going to be one of those weeks.


“Sir Stouthorn, why are we headed towards the Everfree forest?” a small green seapony floating in a magical bubble asked the much larger minotaur.

The minotaur, one Sir le Boeuf Stouthorn, the chivalrous, of the ‘Most Illustrious Order of Triton the Lawgiver’, was a strapping fellow, his blue fur was impeccably clean, the goatee on his face was perfectly trimmed, and his silver armor gleamed in the sun. On his breastplate, was emblazoned the sigil of Triton the Lawgiver. Attached to his waist, was his trusty battleax, and attached to his armor was a delicate red rose. Truly, Sir Stouthorn was the flower of chivalry, if there ever was one. And there was one, because it was him.

“Why to fight evil of course, my good Seafoam,” Sir Stouthorn boldly declared. “To rescue damsels in distress, possibly slay an ogre, or a troll or three, to right wrongs, to set a good example, and most importantly, get you, my young page, an opportunity to win your spurs in glorious combat!”

“But the Everfree forest?” Seafoam said worriedly, shaking in his bubble. “I heard one of Ouroboros lieutenants, a green dragon took up residence there.”

“Perfect! A dragon for you to vanquish.” Sir Stouthorn said, while posing as heroically as possible. “Seafoam, you don’t suppose it’s kidnapped a princess yet?”

“Not that I heard,” Seafoam replied, “I suppose it might not have had an opportunity to yet, it’s supposed to have taken up residence, just last week.”

“Unacceptable,” Sir Stouthorn said, flourishing his ax for dramatic effect. “How does the dragon expect to be properly vanquished, if there’s no fair maiden to rescue? Seafoam take a letter.”

The bewildered seapony, lifted out some parchment and ink from the luggage attached to it’s bubble. “Okay, Sir Stouthorn, I’m ready,” Seafoam said.

“Dear dragon or dragoness (respectively),” Sir Stouthorn dictated, while holding a rose to his nose and smelling its bouquet. “It’s come to my attention – no strike that Seafoam. It’s come to our attention, that you’ve taken up residence in the Everfree forest, with the sole purpose of pursuing villainy. -Yes Seafoam, that should get the beast’s attention. However, you have not yet availed it upon yourself to capture a fair maiden as yon kind is wont to do. We understand you have moved to the Everfree just recently, and may not have had an opportunity to acquire one yet. With that being the case, we humbly request that you purloin a princess instead of another maiden. A beast of your caliber, deserves only the best, and as I plan on vanquishing you in order to retrieve said princess, it would be highly inconsiderate of you to be vanquished without having a princess on hand. However, we understand that princesses are in short supply now a day, and will consider a fair maiden or damsel to be an acceptable substitute in that case. Please be advised we would like to vanquish you as soon as possible, so please acquire a princess as quickly as drongonly possible. “

“Warmest regards, “
“Dictated, but not read”
“Sir le Boeuf Stouthorn the chivalrous, of the ‘Most Illustrious Order of Triton the Lawgiver’

“Alright Seafoam, read it back to me,” Sir Stouthorn said, while stroking his magnificent goatee, “and make sure you added plenty of flourishes to the penmanship.”

Seafoam’s eyes widened with fright. Standing behind Sir Stouthorn was the very same dragon, who they were writing the letter to. As he pointed towards it, Sir Stouthorn turned around and looked delighted.

“Good day to you sir,” Sir Stouthorn said, removing his helmet and bowing deeply. “We’ve come to inquire regarding your princess situation. If you don’t have one yet, we’re perfectly willing to come back when you’ve acquired one. When would a good time be for you?” In response to Sir Stouthorn’s most gracious introduction, the dragon snorted flames at the letter, turning it to ash.

“Now that was totally uncalled for,” Sir Stouthorn said, while a single solitary manly tear, slide down his check at the loss of the beautiful penmanship, that he hadn’t seen, but knew the letter contained. “I know you're nothing but a dumb brute, but that doesn’t mean you can’t show a little class every now and then, now does it?”

The dragon annoyed at the long winded minotaur’s rambling, began deeply inhaling, with the intent of roasting the knight alive.

“Oh bollocks,” Sir Stouthorn said, charging headlong into the dragon’s maw. “For great Justice!” he cried, the camera zooming in on his face, showing just how serious he was about bringing evil doers to justice.

Seafoam withdrew his trident from his saddlebag, and followed behind his crazy master, “For the Lawgiver!” he cried, as he attacked the beast from above.


“Read them and weep, boys,” said an adolescent blue dragon, with red scales, revealing his cards to the earth ponies at the table. These ponies had been losing all night, and weren’t very happy about the situation. A yellow earth pony with an orange mane, and a deck of cards for a cutie mark narrowed his eyes in anger. He had just lost a month’s wages to the dragon and his unicorn helper, a little pink filly, with a white mane, and a smiling mask for a cutie mark, and he wasn’t very happy about it.

“Slick,” the yellow pony said, “there’s no way, that you could have won that many hooves of cards honestly.”

“Cardshark,” Slick said, counting his winnings and blowing a kiss to his unicorn companion. “What can I say, Lady Luck loves me. If you know what I mean.”

Cardshark and his friends started pressing close to Slick. “Actually, I think Lady Luck has run out on you,” Cardshark said menacingly. “Leave the money on the table, and we won’t break too many bones.”

“Quick, Showboat,” Slick called to his unicorn companion who was sipping an apple cider in the corner, “it’s time to play fifty-two card pickup.”

Nodding, Showboat’s horn glowed and the deck of cards on the table exploded, flying every which way. In the ensuing chaos, Slick managed to grab most of the bits on the table, plus Cardshark’s saddlebags. Riding out of town on Showboat’s back, Slick grabbed a slingshot out of her saddlebag and started shooting rocks at their pursuers. The five earth ponies were beginning to gain on them, when the clouds began parting. Out from the cloud cover appeared three windigos, being chased by a rather angry looking griffin.

Cardshark and the four other ponies froze in their tracks, turned tail, and ran the other way when they saw the windigos.

“Now there’s something you don’t see every day,” Showboat nonchalantly said.

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