• Member Since 31st Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen January 27th

Taco Belle


Dat Taco Lovin' Brony

E
Source

Fluttershy Has a Secret, and has put off telling her friends about it for a very long time... But after there bonding/terrifying experience in the Ruins of the Royal Pony Sister's castle, she feels it is Finally time to Share Her deepest Secret with them.... But remains worried they will shun her...


The Results.. are not as she Expected.

Edit: Special Thanks to Phoenix Avalon for going over the Fic and fixing it all up nice and tidy! :rainbowkiss:

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 116 )

3577010 i am VERY Eager to see what you think, Hobs!:pinkiehappy:

Your Sis and Vampman too!:pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy:

3577018 It was funny!

Maybe not a gut buster, but still pretty funny.

Could have moved a little slower though, but that's just my Douchy McNitpick side speaking.

3577025 I am not good at.."Fleshing" a story out, i am mostly good at the base Premise..

Honestly, i just like the first part with Fluttershy and Angel... i am notorious for terribad beginnings, but i think this one works.:pinkiecrazy:

Simple but funny and after reading some heavier stories just what The Docter ordered.

3577063 it was supposed to be a pretty Light, silly story.:pinkiecrazy:

3577063>>3577025 I was also Considering making Twilight a Queen Changeling, but i felt the sudden cut to Twilight receiving Celestia's letter was funnier.:pinkiecrazy:

3577074 Then you accomplished what you set out to do

Comment posted by Zeyon The Green deleted Dec 5th, 2013

What's up with the arbitrary capitalization? Is German your native language?

Huh I read somewhere just same story but with Chrysalis and Celestia come to Ponyville and everyone without Celestia is changeling. Can't rate it negative or positive because i don't think its ripoff

Funny, not as funny as some but funny. Grammar could be better, other than that it's great.

3577537 i am just use to.. Emoting through text, and caps-for-emphasis is a common thing with that.:facehoof:

Not bad, but it desperately needs some editing to fix the captialization and spacing.

Oh crap i accidentally deleted someponies post when i went to Reply...:facehoof:


He had a Leafeon Avatar.:facehoof::facehoof::facehoof:

Bro if you see this, sorry, my reply was gonna be positive...:facehoof:

3577994 can't say i ever read that story... :trixieshiftright:

Damn, thought i was being original.:raritydespair:

3577998 when i get over this Maybe-Flu, i intend to go over it and fix it up a bit, maybe make a second chapter beginning with a disgruntled twilight reading the Letter, while pinkie bats at the crown-like growth on her head like a cat, to watch the blue spheres dangle about.:pinkiecrazy:

Nice ending, but this is just about the only compliment I can give you. Here are some editing suggestions.

-Only capitalize the first words of sentences and priper nouns.

-Ellipses are three dots long, never two.

-Please don't be afraid to use names to identify characters. Calling them a description like "purple princess" every sentence gets annoying fast.

Sorry to be so blunt, but I wanted to help you since you've been so good to me and I might as well be straight with you.

3589633 The capitalizing thing is more of a Quirk i adopted from years of chatting via text, in order to emote a little more... :trixieshiftright:

Half the time i don't even realize i am doing it.:facehoof:

The Elipses this is a typo, i think...

And just using there names over and other felt... tacky to me.:facehoof:

But yeah, everything you listed is a issue, I'll maybe get around to fixing it eventually...:raritywink:

Maybe...:trixieshiftright:

We'll see.:pinkiecrazy:

3591148 Glad you seemingly enjoyed it!:pinkiecrazy:

I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this, but I just got back.

That said, I did indeed find this rather humorous. It actually managed to draw an earnest chuckle from me, which is oftentimes considered to be a rather decent accomplishment. I will say that after Applejack's reaction I started to lose it. And Celestia's letter at eh end was just the icing on the cake.

On a side note, if you ever feel like writing again and need someone to go through and help you with errors and maybe narritive and such, I'm just a PM away.

~Signed, InfiniteBrony

3614916 I will remember your Offer.:ajsmug:


*mimics G1 Starscream's voice*You shall come to regret this offer!:pinkiecrazy:

Good short story, quite funny ending too..
As people have already said, it needs some minor edits like the wrong letters being capitalized in some places and small stuff like that, but overall,
Good job. Giving this a fav and a thumbs up, and a moustached spike here in the comment ---> :moustache:

3627409 have a Mustache for giving it a Mustache! ===>:moustache:

3627484
:moustache: recieved.
Now, write more stuff. more random shorts like this, or a longer one, or an epic 100.000+ words tale..
I don't care how long it is, I want more random comedy. :pinkiehappy:

3627499 Random is what i do best.. and i Do dislike Grimdark..:pinkiecrazy:

P.S.: I most certainly did not fail to inform the Changelings because I found it humorous to observe their desperate madcap attempts to conceal it from each other, truly!

......Not sure if anyone believes you Celly.

3669961 as my Co/Rewriter once told me: "Trollestia is best Celestia":pinkiecrazy:

3627499 I wrote a new random short.. it's a bit Darker, but it has it's funny Moments, if you visualize certain events as.. Slap-stick as i did while writing them.:pinkiecrazy:


Hope your not too disappointed, i tend to write the entirety of my stories in a single setting, lest i lose interest.:facehoof:


3846960
Well, upload it so I can read it then :duck:

3847088 Its up now, sent it to be judged before bed.:pinkiecrazy:

3849239
such perfect timing..
I was planning on going to bed soon, so now I can save this for my breakfast reading in the morning.
So, I will NOT read it NOW, I will save it for tomorrow and enjoy it together with my morning coffee,
Followed by writing my opinions on it.. :pinkiehappy:

3849651 yes, and in your subseptibal, half-asleep state, the subliminal messaging within the fic will force you to spend all your savings on OVALTINE!:rainbowlaugh:

3850704
At the risk of sounding stupid - What exactly IS Ovaltine? (Keep in mind, I'm swedish, and guessing it's an american product name I am not familiar with..)

Anyhow, My half-sleep zombie state is only BEFORE my coffee.. I plan on reading along with my
REFILL CUP, NOT the FIRST cup, so I WON'T fall for your subliminal messaging! HAH! :pinkiecrazy:

3852975 basically, fancy chocolate milk/hot cocoa:trixieshiftright:

well it's tomorrow, didja read it?

3854981
Sorry, no, my plans got screwed by other events (visit from friend) that occured when I was going to read it, and thus I was not able to read it yet..:twilightangry2:

However it is now 23.47 (by my local time),
and I plan on having it as (part of) my Night Reading tonight, so I shall begin right after I am done writing this comment! And then, I shall leave a comment with my opinions on the story when it has been read! Egghead over and out for now :twilightsmile:

3855368 I am working on chapter 2 right now,

It's from a different perspective, and is a mix of pants-wetting horror and classic-style slapstick.:pinkiecrazy:

May need to add a Comedy Tag if i overdo it tho...:trixieshiftright:

3855500
so... dark horror-comedy... sounds good! :pinkiecrazy:

3855516

so... dark horror-comedy.

With zebra's, yes.:ajsmug:

3855617
[pretend there is a Zecora smiley here, like the other pony faces you can put in messages]

That, I must certainly read.
My desire for horrorcomedies, it will feed.

I go now, to read chapter one.
I will leave you a comment, when I am done.

(Yeah, I can do Zecora-rhymes if I have to. :moustache: )

3855633 Fair warning: My own rhymes are atrocious, still looking for a Bro with rythm to help.:trixieshiftright:

3855665
Well, I'm no expert, But I will galdly help if I can.. :twilightsmile:

3855676 Unrelated note, kitty just tried to consume my thumb.:fluttershbad:

There is blood everywhere,:raritydespair:



Whiiich i am used to.:facehoof:


Playful cats are playful.

3855749
Read it, gave a long comment with very clear opinion. now obey what I said in that comment.:pinkiecrazy:

3855832 No, i am adding Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich having a Rap Battle over Zecora's fate as she hangs over a bottomless pit!:flutterrage:



Seriously tho, i'm taking your advise to heart, as, much like a changeling, i feed off of attention and feedback.:rainbowwild:


Feeed Me Seymore, Feeeeed Meeee!:rainbowlaugh:

3583484

Don't worry. It's the details that matter and you're the first person to do this. The closest I've ever seen anyone else come is these three oneshots. "Refugees+Trollestia" is actually surprisingly untrodden ground... especially on the scale of just Ponyville.

Changeling
Changelings, Changelings, Everywhere
Everyone's a Changeling

CCC

3583484

It is a fun idea to base a story around, isn't it?

I like what you did with it; you handled it well, with all of the Mane Six finding out pretty much at once, and of course Pinkie would want to have a changeling party!

And you say you're working on another chapter? Great! I'd love to see where you take the story from here.

3859621 The Idea i had for a chapter , but i cant get past "Twilight looking at Trollestia Celestia's reply, while pinkie giggles and prods Twilight's fleshy, wobbly crown"

Thats all i got.:raritydespair:

3859621 Well i am hoping my NEW Story is as original as I've hoped...

Zeghoula the Rhyming Zebra, ho!:rainbowlaugh:

Thanks for the positive words, comments sustain me!:pinkiecrazy:

Login or register to comment