• Published 10th Jan 2014
  • 2,787 Views, 251 Comments

Title Match - Zap Apple Smash



Trouble strikes Ponyville as a Voodoo practising Zebrony (and former friend of Trixie's) comes to town to settle a score. Lunaverse story.

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Bibbidi Babbidi Boo

Galeb was walking down the street, grumbling to himself. In his sour mood he bumped into a random mare.

"Excuse you!" She said in a snippy tone.

"Embrasse moi tchew!" He shouted over his shoulder as he continued on.

Finally he stopped by the alley where he had hidden his supply case. He had been taught that only a dumb shop keeper keeps all his stock on display. Shifting away some crates he found it right where he had left it.

"Mais, Dame Lulamoon. I tried to do this the honourable way." He opened up his case and scanned through his collection of vials and trinkets. "Now we get to do this the fun way."


"You sure you don't mind?" Carrot Top asked.

"Not at all," Trixie assured the farmer. "You're always welcome for tea."

It was slightly after two and Trixie was sitting in her lounge with Lyra, Bon Bon, and Carrot Top having tea. While it was originally going to just be Lyra and Bon Bon, Carrot Top had come by to sort out some permits so Trixie decided to extend the invitation to her as well.

"Absolutely," Lyra said. "The more the merrier."

"Careful dear." Bon Bon warned playfully. "Last pony you said that to was Cheerilee."

Trixie coughed as some tea went down the wrong pipe.

"So Sweet Éclair told me she saw a blue zebra making a scene in front of the Residency." Lyra said in attempts to change the subject. "What was that about?"

Trixie pursed her lips, she had been hoping to wait until the other three elements finished work so that they could discuss this matter together. Still, it was better that they knew as soon as possible. "Okay, first off it wasn't a zebra, it was a zebrony called Galeb."

Lyra tilted her head slightly. "Zebrony?"

"You know, a Pony/Zebra hybrid."

"Oh," Lyra replied in sudden comprehension, "you mean a 'Zorse'."

"No," Trixie replied, "A Zebrony."

"I thought the term was 'Zony'." Carrot Top commented.

"I like 'Ponbra'." Bon Bon said, she then noticed others staring at her. "What? Why should the zebra always get top billing?"

"Look, in Neigh Orleans, the community of Pony/Zebra hybrids that live there call themselves Zebronies so if Galeb is anything, it’s a Zebrony."

"Fair enough." Bon Bon replied. "So what was he doing?"

"Trying to become my nemesis and settle a score."

"Another one?" Lyra asked in dismay. "Honestly Trixie, I'm beginning to think you’re starting a collection."

"Hey, if you want to take over some of my potential nemeses be my guest." Trixie shot back.

"No, she's fine." Bon Bon butted in. "Last time she tried having a nemesis, Trumpeting Herald ended up with a concussion."

"We've been over this Bon Bon." Lyra said in mild irritation. "He call me a freeloading harp strumming bum. I had to retaliate."

"Yeah." Pokey said as he walked back in with a tray of cookies. "I mean a musician that doesn't know what a lyre is clearly needs some sense knocked into him."

"Exactly!" Lyra exclaimed.

There was a moment of silence. Trixie was about to comment on what had been insinuated but was stopped by a hoof touch and a shake of the head from Carrot Top.

"So why does Galeb have a grudge against you?"

"It's a long story." Trixie said dismissively.

"Galeb is a former friend that blames Trixie for his brother being arrested." Pokey explained, he then noticed Trixie glaring at him. "Just because you say that it's a long story doesn't mean that it is one."

"So why does Galeb blame you for his brother being arrested?" Carrot Top asked.

"Because I'm the one who turned him in." Trixie replied. "Wow. That really isn't such a long story after all."

"Well I'd assume that the story is a bit longer than that." Lyra argued. "I mean for starters how did you become friends with a Zebrony?"

"My grandfather was on good terms with a group of them and it sort of expanded from there." Trixie elaborated. "Me, Galeb and Bantu were roughly the same age and we clicked. We weren't BFFs but we had fun together. When I moved to Canterlot, I slowly lost touch."

"Then how did you end up being the one to get him arrested?"

"Well some time later, I'm in Canterlot busy with my studies. Out of the blue, Bantu comes into town, wanting to catch up. Things are going great. Next day I get word that a train carrying Relief funds had been attacked by some pony with weird powers. Within the hour, Bantu's at my door, begging for a place to hide."

"He robbed a relief funds train and he went to Luna's apprentice as a hiding place?" Bon Bon asked in dismay.

"Tried to rob." Trixie clarified. "He underestimated how well guarded those things are. Canterlot hasn't exactly got that many escape options when you're landlocked. So in desperation he reached out to a ‘friend’." Trixie said the word friend with a touch of irony. "When I figured out what he had done, I alerted the guards."

"So is it just Galeb we need to worry about or is the rest of the family out for your blood as well?" Carrot Top asked.

"No, a big part of most Zebrony’s belief system is the idea of the 'Full Circle'." The representative explained. "It's the idea that any deed you do, good or bad, will in some way come back to you. Bantu tried to rob a train carrying funds to ponies that needed it and so he's in jail for it. While I'm not on his families Hearth's Warming Card list, they don't hold me responsible."

"Except for Galeb." Lyra said.

"Except for Galeb." Trixie agreed.

"So if he's been carrying a grudge for this long why wait until now to do something?" Carrot Top asked.

"Because I finally have something to lose." Trixie answered. "If he went after my family in Neigh Orleans, his own community would turn on him, and after what his brother pulled, if he even set hoof in Canterlot he'd be watched so closely that he wouldn't be able to try anything."

"But now that you're here, suddenly all bets are off?" Lyra asked in clarification.

"Well his chances are a lot better." Trixie replied. "If he's like how I remember him, he's not dumb enough to just attack me outright but I will sleep better if I know he's out of town." She then turned to her assistant. "Speaking of which, were you able to find anything?"

"I asked around; nothing out of the ordinary so far." Pokey replied. "I tried getting our best field agent on the case but she declined."

"Really?" Trixie replied. "But I thought Pinkie loved playing spy."

"Yeah she does but apparently she's busy with something else."


"There! Perfect!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "Now you're ready."

Rarity, who was out for a peaceful stroll, stopped when she noticed that Pinkie had stuck a moustache onto Big Macintosh's face. "Pinkie dear, what are you doing?"

"Oh, hi Rarity." The baker replied cheerfully. "Big Mac agreed to be my nemesis so I was giving him the first go at wearing the moustache."

The look on Big Mac's face seemed to tell Rarity that 'agreed to' was a relative term in this case.

"Dear, as dashing as Mr Macintosh looks with a moustache, I don't really think that some pony as kind and sweet natured as him would make a good nemesis."

"You kidding?!" Pinkie exclaimed. "He's red and I'm pink. We were made to clash."

Rarity paused thoughtfully. "That is true."

Pinkie seemed satisfied with that and focused her attention back to the red stallion. "Alright Big Mac, let's see you do something Nemesis-ey."

"Nemesis-ey?" Big Mac asked in dismay.

"How about you rob a bank?"

"Nope."

"Kidnap the Mayor?"

"Nope."

"Steal forty cakes from Sugar Cube Corner?"

"Nope."

"Tie Rarity to a railway track?"

"Certainly not!" The fashionista exclaimed.

"How about a long winded speech stating your supposed superiority?"

The look Big Mac gave Pinkie seemed to say 'are you kidding me?'.

"Alright, alright." Pinkie conceded. "Could I get an evil laugh though? Please." She stared at the stallion with big, hope-filled eyes.

It's said that Big Mac is the strongest pony in Ponyville, but even he wasn't strong enough to say no to that face. As letting out a relenting sigh, he took a moment to clear his throat and then let loose.

"mwheeheeheeMWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

When he finished his laugh, Pinkie and Rarity just stared at him. Meanwhile in the background, Lily fainted but went unnoticed.

"What?" The stallion asked before being enveloped by a patented Pinkie Pie hug.

"Oh Macky you're bestest nemesis ever!"


"So is he dangerous?" Lyra asked.

"Potentially." Trixie answered. "Ever heard of Neigh Orleans Voodoo?"

"Of course. Almost all the travel books about Neigh Orleans talk about it." Lyra paused. "Wait, you mean that's real? I thought it was just a thing to entertain tourists."

"It's real alright. I mean a good part of it is smoke and mirrors but there is still genuine power there."

"So how strong is he?"

"Hard to say, Voodoo users can't be put in a linear power level scale like Unicorns can. The big part of their magic is based on having the right ingredients and using them in the right way so with the right ingredients even somepony with little power could still do a lot. Galeb could be 90% flash and only 10% substance and that would still be enough power for him to abuse." Trixie turned to her assistant. "And the next sentence out of your mouth better not be about me and substance abuse."

"Wasn't going to say anything." Pokey lied somewhat blatantly.

There was knock at the door. Wondering who it might be Trixie went answer it. She saw Rarity standing there.

"Hi Representative, is Carrot Top here?" Rarity asked, "Lily said she had seen her coming this way."

"She is, do you need her?"

"Well, not me personally."

At that moment, Pinkie appeared out of nowhere. Her tongue was incredibly swollen covered in blue spots. She seemed to be trying to talk quite animatedly, but all that came out was incomprehensible mumbling and spitting.

"Fluttershy had once told me about how Carrot Top had helped her after a nasty run in with Poison Joke and I was hoping she could brew up another cure." Rarity explained. "The swelling doesn't appear to be obstructing her breathing, thank goodness, but it's still a rather unpleasant state to be in."

"Wait." Trixie said. "There are a lot of normal things that can cause a swollen tongue, why do you assume it's poison joke?"

"Well it's not so much what happened to Pinkie Pie than what happened to Big Mac that set me off." Rarity said as she gestured towards the pony that came with them.

Trixie started to where Rarity was pointing. "What happened to Big Maa....ooh sweet Luna!"

Standing there was a Pony who had the right coat colour but a pretty major difference as well.

"Big Mac." Trixie said in dismay. "You're a mare."

"Eeyup." Big Mac answered in a deep but still feminine voice.


Cheerilee paused her writing on the chalkboard.

"Couldn't be." She muttered.

"Something wrong Ms Cheerilee?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"It’s fine, Sweetie Belle, I just thought I sensed..." She trailed off when she remembered the age group she was talking to. "Nothing important. Now who can tell me the answer to this equation?"


Carrot Top was busy inspecting the two 'victims'. While Lyra had shown the right amount of concern to Pinkie's plight, she couldn't help but stare at Big Mare-cintosh.

"What are you thinking about right now?" Bon Bon asked.

Lyra suddenly jerk her head away and developed a light blush. "Moonlight Sonnet's Third Symphony."

Her marefriend couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "Big Mac's been turned into a hot looking mare and you're thinking about music?" She remarked. "There is a thing as being too focused on your work."

Lyra, meanwhile, was trying really hard to keep her focus away from something else.

"How did this happen?" Carrot Top asked.

"I was hoping you could tell us." Rarity said. "Both Big Macintosh and Pinkie Pie swear they haven't been in contact with any poison joke. In fact the only thing they both have been in contact with is this." Rarity levitated up Pinkie's fake moustache.

"A moustache?" Bon Bon asked in dismay.

Carrot Top gave the moustache a sniff. "Yep, that's definitely got some poison joke. But a moustache worth of poison joke isn't usually enough to do something like this."

"It is if you somehow amplify the effects magically." Trixie said as she took hold of the moustache with her own magic before turning to Pinkie. "Did anypony else touch your moustache today?"

Pinkie nodded and then pulled out her party list, she then pointed to the last name on the list.

"Grumpy Blue Zebra?" Realisation then dawned on her. "Galeb!"

Meanwhile, Carrot Top was trying to think of the best way to fix this. "Well, if the base of the concoction Galeb used is poison joke then the same cure should still work."

"Excellent," Rarity exclaimed. "And while you're making the cure, I'll keep Big Mac busy by trying out a few of my latest designs."

She tried pushing the red mare in the direction of her shop only to find that Big Mac wouldn't budge.

"Nope," was the reply she got.

"But you would look fabulous." She whined.

As Carrot Top left with the three mares, Bon Bon turned to the representative.

"So, how would putting a hex on a moustache force you to fight Galeb in a duel?"

"It's not so much the moustache as the effect it would have." Trixie explained. "If Rarity hadn't identified it as poison joke, they might have been sent to the hospital and then cause panic as the doctors scrambled to find a cure for the 'disease' and figure out who else was 'infected'."

"So potential crisis averted." Lyra said. "But it seems like a very impractical way to get back at you."

"This was just the start, I made it clear that if he went after any of the elements, he would be flung in jail, so he's going after something else instead." Trixie explained. "He might as well be putting up a big sign saying that he's gonna punish Ponyville until I agree to face him."

"I think he's done that too." Bon Bon said, "Look."

The two Unicorns turned to where the Candy Mare was pointing and saw glowing green text on a nearby wall, in clear view of the Residency.

You know how to make this stop

Lulamoon

"Not very big on subtlety, is he?" Bon Bon commented.