Galeb was walking down the street, grumbling to himself. In his sour mood he bumped into a random mare.
"Excuse you!" She said in a snippy tone.
"Embrasse moi tchew!" He shouted over his shoulder as he continued on.
Finally he stopped by the alley where he had hidden his supply case. He had been taught that only a dumb shop keeper keeps all his stock on display. Shifting away some crates he found it right where he had left it.
"Mais, Dame Lulamoon. I tried to do this the honourable way." He opened up his case and scanned through his collection of vials and trinkets. "Now we get to do this the fun way."
"You sure you don't mind?" Carrot Top asked.
"Not at all," Trixie assured the farmer. "You're always welcome for tea."
It was slightly after two and Trixie was sitting in her lounge with Lyra, Bon Bon, and Carrot Top having tea. While it was originally going to just be Lyra and Bon Bon, Carrot Top had come by to sort out some permits so Trixie decided to extend the invitation to her as well.
"Absolutely," Lyra said. "The more the merrier."
"Careful dear." Bon Bon warned playfully. "Last pony you said that to was Cheerilee."
Trixie coughed as some tea went down the wrong pipe.
"So Sweet Éclair told me she saw a blue zebra making a scene in front of the Residency." Lyra said in attempts to change the subject. "What was that about?"
Trixie pursed her lips, she had been hoping to wait until the other three elements finished work so that they could discuss this matter together. Still, it was better that they knew as soon as possible. "Okay, first off it wasn't a zebra, it was a zebrony called Galeb."
Lyra tilted her head slightly. "Zebrony?"
"You know, a Pony/Zebra hybrid."
"Oh," Lyra replied in sudden comprehension, "you mean a 'Zorse'."
"No," Trixie replied, "A Zebrony."
"I thought the term was 'Zony'." Carrot Top commented.
"I like 'Ponbra'." Bon Bon said, she then noticed others staring at her. "What? Why should the zebra always get top billing?"
"Look, in Neigh Orleans, the community of Pony/Zebra hybrids that live there call themselves Zebronies so if Galeb is anything, it’s a Zebrony."
"Fair enough." Bon Bon replied. "So what was he doing?"
"Trying to become my nemesis and settle a score."
"Another one?" Lyra asked in dismay. "Honestly Trixie, I'm beginning to think you’re starting a collection."
"Hey, if you want to take over some of my potential nemeses be my guest." Trixie shot back.
"No, she's fine." Bon Bon butted in. "Last time she tried having a nemesis, Trumpeting Herald ended up with a concussion."
"We've been over this Bon Bon." Lyra said in mild irritation. "He call me a freeloading harp strumming bum. I had to retaliate."
"Yeah." Pokey said as he walked back in with a tray of cookies. "I mean a musician that doesn't know what a lyre is clearly needs some sense knocked into him."
"Exactly!" Lyra exclaimed.
There was a moment of silence. Trixie was about to comment on what had been insinuated but was stopped by a hoof touch and a shake of the head from Carrot Top.
"So why does Galeb have a grudge against you?"
"It's a long story." Trixie said dismissively.
"Galeb is a former friend that blames Trixie for his brother being arrested." Pokey explained, he then noticed Trixie glaring at him. "Just because you say that it's a long story doesn't mean that it is one."
"So why does Galeb blame you for his brother being arrested?" Carrot Top asked.
"Because I'm the one who turned him in." Trixie replied. "Wow. That really isn't such a long story after all."
"Well I'd assume that the story is a bit longer than that." Lyra argued. "I mean for starters how did you become friends with a Zebrony?"
"My grandfather was on good terms with a group of them and it sort of expanded from there." Trixie elaborated. "Me, Galeb and Bantu were roughly the same age and we clicked. We weren't BFFs but we had fun together. When I moved to Canterlot, I slowly lost touch."
"Then how did you end up being the one to get him arrested?"
"Well some time later, I'm in Canterlot busy with my studies. Out of the blue, Bantu comes into town, wanting to catch up. Things are going great. Next day I get word that a train carrying Relief funds had been attacked by some pony with weird powers. Within the hour, Bantu's at my door, begging for a place to hide."
"He robbed a relief funds train and he went to Luna's apprentice as a hiding place?" Bon Bon asked in dismay.
"Tried to rob." Trixie clarified. "He underestimated how well guarded those things are. Canterlot hasn't exactly got that many escape options when you're landlocked. So in desperation he reached out to a ‘friend’." Trixie said the word friend with a touch of irony. "When I figured out what he had done, I alerted the guards."
"So is it just Galeb we need to worry about or is the rest of the family out for your blood as well?" Carrot Top asked.
"No, a big part of most Zebrony’s belief system is the idea of the 'Full Circle'." The representative explained. "It's the idea that any deed you do, good or bad, will in some way come back to you. Bantu tried to rob a train carrying funds to ponies that needed it and so he's in jail for it. While I'm not on his families Hearth's Warming Card list, they don't hold me responsible."
"Except for Galeb." Lyra said.
"Except for Galeb." Trixie agreed.
"So if he's been carrying a grudge for this long why wait until now to do something?" Carrot Top asked.
"Because I finally have something to lose." Trixie answered. "If he went after my family in Neigh Orleans, his own community would turn on him, and after what his brother pulled, if he even set hoof in Canterlot he'd be watched so closely that he wouldn't be able to try anything."
"But now that you're here, suddenly all bets are off?" Lyra asked in clarification.
"Well his chances are a lot better." Trixie replied. "If he's like how I remember him, he's not dumb enough to just attack me outright but I will sleep better if I know he's out of town." She then turned to her assistant. "Speaking of which, were you able to find anything?"
"I asked around; nothing out of the ordinary so far." Pokey replied. "I tried getting our best field agent on the case but she declined."
"Really?" Trixie replied. "But I thought Pinkie loved playing spy."
"Yeah she does but apparently she's busy with something else."
"There! Perfect!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "Now you're ready."
Rarity, who was out for a peaceful stroll, stopped when she noticed that Pinkie had stuck a moustache onto Big Macintosh's face. "Pinkie dear, what are you doing?"
"Oh, hi Rarity." The baker replied cheerfully. "Big Mac agreed to be my nemesis so I was giving him the first go at wearing the moustache."
The look on Big Mac's face seemed to tell Rarity that 'agreed to' was a relative term in this case.
"Dear, as dashing as Mr Macintosh looks with a moustache, I don't really think that some pony as kind and sweet natured as him would make a good nemesis."
"You kidding?!" Pinkie exclaimed. "He's red and I'm pink. We were made to clash."
Rarity paused thoughtfully. "That is true."
Pinkie seemed satisfied with that and focused her attention back to the red stallion. "Alright Big Mac, let's see you do something Nemesis-ey."
"Nemesis-ey?" Big Mac asked in dismay.
"How about you rob a bank?"
"Nope."
"Kidnap the Mayor?"
"Nope."
"Steal forty cakes from Sugar Cube Corner?"
"Nope."
"Tie Rarity to a railway track?"
"Certainly not!" The fashionista exclaimed.
"How about a long winded speech stating your supposed superiority?"
The look Big Mac gave Pinkie seemed to say 'are you kidding me?'.
"Alright, alright." Pinkie conceded. "Could I get an evil laugh though? Please." She stared at the stallion with big, hope-filled eyes.
It's said that Big Mac is the strongest pony in Ponyville, but even he wasn't strong enough to say no to that face. As letting out a relenting sigh, he took a moment to clear his throat and then let loose.
"mwheeheeheeMWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
When he finished his laugh, Pinkie and Rarity just stared at him. Meanwhile in the background, Lily fainted but went unnoticed.
"What?" The stallion asked before being enveloped by a patented Pinkie Pie hug.
"Oh Macky you're bestest nemesis ever!"
"So is he dangerous?" Lyra asked.
"Potentially." Trixie answered. "Ever heard of Neigh Orleans Voodoo?"
"Of course. Almost all the travel books about Neigh Orleans talk about it." Lyra paused. "Wait, you mean that's real? I thought it was just a thing to entertain tourists."
"It's real alright. I mean a good part of it is smoke and mirrors but there is still genuine power there."
"So how strong is he?"
"Hard to say, Voodoo users can't be put in a linear power level scale like Unicorns can. The big part of their magic is based on having the right ingredients and using them in the right way so with the right ingredients even somepony with little power could still do a lot. Galeb could be 90% flash and only 10% substance and that would still be enough power for him to abuse." Trixie turned to her assistant. "And the next sentence out of your mouth better not be about me and substance abuse."
"Wasn't going to say anything." Pokey lied somewhat blatantly.
There was knock at the door. Wondering who it might be Trixie went answer it. She saw Rarity standing there.
"Hi Representative, is Carrot Top here?" Rarity asked, "Lily said she had seen her coming this way."
"She is, do you need her?"
"Well, not me personally."
At that moment, Pinkie appeared out of nowhere. Her tongue was incredibly swollen covered in blue spots. She seemed to be trying to talk quite animatedly, but all that came out was incomprehensible mumbling and spitting.
"Fluttershy had once told me about how Carrot Top had helped her after a nasty run in with Poison Joke and I was hoping she could brew up another cure." Rarity explained. "The swelling doesn't appear to be obstructing her breathing, thank goodness, but it's still a rather unpleasant state to be in."
"Wait." Trixie said. "There are a lot of normal things that can cause a swollen tongue, why do you assume it's poison joke?"
"Well it's not so much what happened to Pinkie Pie than what happened to Big Mac that set me off." Rarity said as she gestured towards the pony that came with them.
Trixie started to where Rarity was pointing. "What happened to Big Maa....ooh sweet Luna!"
Standing there was a Pony who had the right coat colour but a pretty major difference as well.
"Big Mac." Trixie said in dismay. "You're a mare."
"Eeyup." Big Mac answered in a deep but still feminine voice.
Cheerilee paused her writing on the chalkboard.
"Couldn't be." She muttered.
"Something wrong Ms Cheerilee?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"It’s fine, Sweetie Belle, I just thought I sensed..." She trailed off when she remembered the age group she was talking to. "Nothing important. Now who can tell me the answer to this equation?"
Carrot Top was busy inspecting the two 'victims'. While Lyra had shown the right amount of concern to Pinkie's plight, she couldn't help but stare at Big Mare-cintosh.
"What are you thinking about right now?" Bon Bon asked.
Lyra suddenly jerk her head away and developed a light blush. "Moonlight Sonnet's Third Symphony."
Her marefriend couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "Big Mac's been turned into a hot looking mare and you're thinking about music?" She remarked. "There is a thing as being too focused on your work."
Lyra, meanwhile, was trying really hard to keep her focus away from something else.
"How did this happen?" Carrot Top asked.
"I was hoping you could tell us." Rarity said. "Both Big Macintosh and Pinkie Pie swear they haven't been in contact with any poison joke. In fact the only thing they both have been in contact with is this." Rarity levitated up Pinkie's fake moustache.
"A moustache?" Bon Bon asked in dismay.
Carrot Top gave the moustache a sniff. "Yep, that's definitely got some poison joke. But a moustache worth of poison joke isn't usually enough to do something like this."
"It is if you somehow amplify the effects magically." Trixie said as she took hold of the moustache with her own magic before turning to Pinkie. "Did anypony else touch your moustache today?"
Pinkie nodded and then pulled out her party list, she then pointed to the last name on the list.
"Grumpy Blue Zebra?" Realisation then dawned on her. "Galeb!"
Meanwhile, Carrot Top was trying to think of the best way to fix this. "Well, if the base of the concoction Galeb used is poison joke then the same cure should still work."
"Excellent," Rarity exclaimed. "And while you're making the cure, I'll keep Big Mac busy by trying out a few of my latest designs."
She tried pushing the red mare in the direction of her shop only to find that Big Mac wouldn't budge.
"Nope," was the reply she got.
"But you would look fabulous." She whined.
As Carrot Top left with the three mares, Bon Bon turned to the representative.
"So, how would putting a hex on a moustache force you to fight Galeb in a duel?"
"It's not so much the moustache as the effect it would have." Trixie explained. "If Rarity hadn't identified it as poison joke, they might have been sent to the hospital and then cause panic as the doctors scrambled to find a cure for the 'disease' and figure out who else was 'infected'."
"So potential crisis averted." Lyra said. "But it seems like a very impractical way to get back at you."
"This was just the start, I made it clear that if he went after any of the elements, he would be flung in jail, so he's going after something else instead." Trixie explained. "He might as well be putting up a big sign saying that he's gonna punish Ponyville until I agree to face him."
"I think he's done that too." Bon Bon said, "Look."
The two Unicorns turned to where the Candy Mare was pointing and saw glowing green text on a nearby wall, in clear view of the Residency.
You know how to make this stop
Lulamoon
"Not very big on subtlety, is he?" Bon Bon commented.
Oh, joy. Even when she does the right thing, she takes it up the plot. Hmmm. I wonder if Galeb likes the idea of the Apple Trust raining down on him en masse.......
Heh, "Big Marecintosh."
I'd wager that Rarity gets "her" into at least one dress. "She's," sadly, a bit too much of a gentleman to turn down a lady.
And then, in righteous fury, all the hetero/bisexual mares in Ponyville linched the crap of Galeb. The end.
P.E: Shouldn´t voodoo magic include summoning and bargains with
friends other sideloas?That would be terrible
Well it does look like Cheerilee felt the disturbance in the oestrogen.
Fun so far, although I want Pokey to get joked.
hmm actually wouldn't just the threats against trixie and vandalism be enough to toss galeb in jail?
I'm really hoping Galeb gets kicked in the face. On the page, spelled out. No cut scene or anything.
3870938 This. It would make for a nice subversion of the usual way this kind of thing goes.
3871057 wouldn't it be a little anticlimactic to build up to a big duel scene just to have the main antagonist get jailed right before though? Though it would be a funny subversion.
Two great set piece references to "Magical Duel!" So will this be a series of Galeb failing to get anything to work according to plan? Because if you are going the serious route, he's already done enough to justify calling the cops on him.
3869139
I've come to the conclusion that the universe has decided that Trixie is allowed to succeed and find happiness but that she darn well has to have earned it.
3870408
That would certainly end things a lot quicker, I almost want to resolve the story that way in stead. . Though wouldn't the bisexual mares be torn considering that now he is a sexy mare?
Well it includes that as well but that always comes at a cost so a good part of the Niegh Orleans voodoo play book also involves alternate means of getting the job done. Why get in debt with a Ioa when you can get the same result with parlour tricks and misdirection.
3870938 3871057 3875097
While it would definitely be a nice subversion of how this usually works, I don't really think Galeb has actually enough to get thrown in jail. Trixie's already sending him the bill for the smashed window and she cut him off before he could actually make a threat against her.
They can't prove that Galeb is responsible for Pinkie and Big Mac being joked, especially since the more rational explanation would be that the two came in contact with poison joke with out realising it. What they have on him is substantial.
Even if they could prove that Galeb was the one that left the message on the wall, that still isn't an an arrestable offence in and of it self.
I mean, Gilda did more when she was in town and she got off scot free
3870692
As if millions of mares suddenly cried out in frustration and were not sure why.
3871057
This is the Lunaverse, he has to teleport away before he learns his lesson, didn't you read the memo?
3875779
Really? Poisonous material being placed on an article of clothing wouldn't be seen as a purposeful threat? With Pinkie giving testimony against Galeb?
......
Okay, it is Pinkie Pie, so maybe there's room for doubt.
But I'm not even making an argument for the cops being especially competent or virtuous. At this point, wouldn't the Ponyvillians just be sick to death of magical mishaps befalling their town from freaks and would-be super villains? The anti-government sentiment, for example, has been apparent since the conspiracy against them from the end of season 1. And at this point, Trixie and the Elements have enough pull to cast suspicion on Gabel to the point of keeping eyes on him. From that point, he would either have to keep all his stunts to being mostly harmless, or be in actual trouble with the law quickly after playing his hoof. I'm not trying to end this story early; once he's exposed for say, illegal dark magic, he could beat feet from Ponyville and bide his time (which would be another good callback). There just needs to be the logic of legality and authority in order for this to be relateable, and therefore readable.
Still, perhaps you could go somewhere with a tedious premise. Perhaps Trixie will throw her hat in the ring just from getting panicked/irritated waiting for Gabel to pull something truly dangerous.
Or maybe you could up the danger factor with Gabel being kept under observation, moving to captivity, but with unfortunate and clearly-purposeful incidents still occurring against the citizenry, in a direction similar to Law Abiding Citizen.
(Cool premise, bloody fantastic start, but towards the end it looses sight of wanted to be and will leave you unsatisfied).
I'm sort of already using her as a character over in Elements of Insanity, and not only does she not live in Ponyville, but she's also not the kind of pony who'd ever end up as any kind of friendly acquaintance to any of the L6.
3878981
You might be taking things a tad to seriously. The Lunaverse isn't really supposed to be so overly realistic most of the tiem and needs to still be able to indulge in some of the same whimsical fantasy that the show does.
3887721
Whoops, sorry about that, I was trying to think of some non important back ground pony so that was a fail on my part. I've changed it to Sweet Éclair.
Thanks for letting me know.
Thank you. I didn't want to say anything for risk of sounding defensive. That said, this discussion has given me some ideas on how to tweak the next few chapters and hopefully improve the story.
This is a good story, but Pinkamena Diane Pie is out of character:
Pinkamena Diane Pie is a genius. She knows the face, name, address, and date of birth of every resident of Ponyville. She can do day-number arithmetic for figuring out how many days are to and from every birthday in her head. I shall list the best Pinkie episodes of each season for reference:
* S01E25 “Party Of 1”
* S02E18 “A Friend Indeed”
* S04E12 “Pinkie Pride”
The only Pinkie Episode in Season # 3 is the genocidal S03E03 “Too Many Pinkies”, which is not just a bad Pinkie Episode, but the worst episode of MLP:FIM. Genocide is not funny.
Despite having an eidetic memory, Pinkamena Diane Pie forgot the name CheeseSandwich in S04E12 “Pinkie Pride”. That is okay because it was part of a joke with a 22-minute setup. If any ponies can appreciate the RuleOfFuny, it is CheeseSandwich and Pinkamena Diane Pie.
Pinkamena Diane Pie is not a drooling moron with 2/3rds the intelligence of the average pony, but a genius with 4/3rds the intelligence of the average pony.
3913573
Firstly I'd just like to say that I agree. I think that Pinkie Pie is a highly intelligent pony (not to mention my favourite of the mane6) that just happens to march to her own drummer. That's why she can remember the exact birth dates of ponies she runs into on the street but fail to realise that Rainbow Dash was being sarcastic when she called Fluttershy a tree.
Coupled with her randomness is the fact of her commitment to a joke/game, like when she pretended to be scared of Luna despite knowing full well the princess wouldn't her or when she went into full on spy mode when the mane6 were trying gather information in the Crystal Empire.
Now with this in mind, could you please clarify how and where I portrayed Pinkie as a drooling moron because that certainly wasn't my intent.
3913923
Pinkamena Diane Pie is busy trying to make Big MacIntosh into her nemesis when a vengeful zebrony threatens Ponyville. She should see the eminent danger and focus on the threat. Her personality should impose, so she should still go all Pinkamena Diane Pie as s spy in the Crystal Empire, but she should focus on the threat. She is too smart to play with Big MacIntosh in such dire circumstances, although since Big MacIntosh is a bounty-hunter, it makes since that she would seek assistance from him.
Personally, I suspect that Pinkamena Diane Pi is as intelligent as Princess Twilight Sparkle. In battle, I would rather have her as an ally than enemy.
3913982
While this does ultimately come to personal opinion, I'm going to have to disagree.
The only pony that at the time knew that Galeb was a threat was Trixie. All any pony else saw (Pinkie included) was a big talking zebra-thing that was promptly put in his place by Trixie.
Ignoring this Pinkie Pie habitually doesn't take things seriously. Her solution to the dragon problem involved balloons plus a rubber chicken, her reaction to a ground shaking stampede was how it made her voice sound funny and her counter argument to stopping Discord was that chaos came with chocolate rain. This doesn't mean she's an idiot, her world is just governed by fun instead of logic.
Also, this is the Lunaverse, where she hasn't needed to take things as seriously as she needed to in the Maneverse.
But as I said, this does come down to person opinion and I'm sorry if you felt I made Pinkie come across as an idiot, that wasn't my intent.
3914129
Come to think about it, you are write:
I forgot that Pinkamena Diane Pie knows less than I know. Although she knows that Galeb is a self-proclaimed nemesis, that is all she knows. Still:
Since Galab poinoed both her and Big MacIntosh with PoisonJoke, and Galeb painted a threat onto the Residency. It would not surprise me, if from this point onward, both Bounty-Hunter Big MacIntosh and Pinkamena Diane Pie will ally with the Luna 6 against Galeb. ¡Galeb is in trouble now!
3870408
And the Apples, Applejack is not gonna be happy that the Zebrony genderswapped Big Mac. Big Macat least has a good evil laugh. I prediccvt he will sing a variant of Friends on the Other Side, or something, should be fun to read.
*Squee*!!!!!!!!! Cheerilee has Porno Sense!
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