Chapter 7 ~ Invisible Cracks In A Gentle Smile
The little filly in front of me smiled. “And is that when you banished Nightmare Moon?”
“Yes it is, Twilight.” My voice didn't break, I didn’t lash out. It would have taken a master of perception to notice the tiny twitch of my eye.
The lavender filly bounced around in excitement. “That must have been such a fight! I wish I could have seen the magic you two were using!”
Twilight Sparkle would learn tact someday, I was sure. I saw enormous potential in this filly. “It wasn't nice magic, Twilight.”
“What's wrong?” She stopped her bouncing. “Did somepony get hurt?”
~ ~ ~
A dry wind blew through the skewed stones, and Celestia looked down from the crumbling ruins of an old tower at the state-of-the-art medical tent below.
The forest was already reclaiming the site of her old castle, even as the new one in Canterlot was under construction. Little remained of the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters now, but the remains of one room bustled with activity.
It wouldn't be long now. She wasn't sure exactly what time it had happened, one year ago, but it had to be soon. Celestia felt sick with worry, but she knew she couldn't be anywhere near the recovery area. Crystal wouldn't understand, and she would still fear her, at least at first.
A blue flash shot out from below, and a purple filly fell screaming to the dusty ground.
The best paramedics in Equestria pounced on her, obscuring her from Celestia's view. She knew they would take good care of her. The best.
If only Celestia herself had cared more, back when it was just the two of them... Celestia knew she could never truly make amends for all she had done to that filly, but she also knew she had to try anyway.
~ ~ ~
I sighed. Even after eighty-six years, Star Crystal had never been able to see me without fleeing for her life on her two good legs, a heart-wrenching sight. She died still fearing me.
Some scars never healed, as I knew better than most.
“Princess? What's wrong?”
Twilight had noticed my behavior. I must have been slipping. I'd have to tie her up, legs spread, and get my–
I quashed the thought as quickly as it entered my mind, with practiced ease. “I think that's enough history lessons for one day, Twilight.” I had to be careful with this one. I hadn't been this close to anypony for centuries – not since Starswirl died. It didn't help that she bore more than a passing resemblance to another filly from so long ago. “How about we move on to practicing your amiomorphic spells?” ... Just in case.
Twilight's eyes brightened. There was nothing that filly liked more than magic lessons, except maybe her books.
As Twilight ran through her warm-up exercises, I glanced through the window at the full moon. My sister's silhouette stared back at me, as always. It would only be a few more years now, until she returned. Could my wounds finally begin to heal when she came back, or would we pick up the fight where we left off?
I glanced back to Twilight. She would be a young mare by the time Luna was due to return... I wondered, would she have a part to play when that day came?
The End
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Aww, but Molestia is the best Celestia...
And Twilight is so cute when her innocence is molested away 
kinda of an interesting story. I had a similar idea, though let us just say that...... well her mental issues are a bit more carefully controlled. it would take a mammothian force to skew her sanity.
...... will say that I dislike the wole elements corruption thing. the elemetns are balance, not compulsions.
largely it would be more interesting if it was her failing psyche than elements.
4208222
"That's the funny thing about magic. It doesn't matter what kind it is there's always a price, always a bloody price, and it's never what you expect. Maybe it's something small, or maybe it's something terrifying, but that price is there. It's what we pay when we cheat the system to get what we want," John Constantine.
There's a reason I'm using John's quote. When he said it he was answering a question by his niece about why he didn't want to save someone. It would have been healing magic, but even so it would have been drawing energy from something that demanded payment in return. If we accept those rules, which are also observed in the Dresden Files and several other Urban fantasy books and comics, then we can assume that the same set of rules apply in Equestria. Perhaps since the entire world is composed of magic the price isn't as high, but when it's something so powerful being used all at once the price has to come from somewhere.
The price might have been Celestia's more innocent nature. The innocence she had when Luna was there. Removing it would let the darker desires she never really experienced to seep in and begin to fester. It could have, and did, create an alternate self. While I would have loved to have seen her regain her innocent nature back, and perhaps banish 'Molly' from herself, I can understand why the author chose not to. Celestia is having to deal with the demons she has. It makes her a tad more relatable to know that she has a dark side like everyone else.
It means a constant watch over her thoughts, over her feelings, and heaven help the suitor she may decide on later. For they would receive the brunt of multiple years of unfulfilled sexual desire and tension.
4208376 I would kinda have to disagree. because since it is because the elements are affecting her rather than something already inside of her, it kinda defeats the purpose.
with luna, even in the series itself, she admits that she let the darkness take her, cosnumed by her jealousy and wishing for things she did not feel she had to power to do alone. she is not full on responsible for her actions as nightmare moon, but she still was the one that allowed it to happen.
with the elements, they already have a price, in the form of a limitation. they can only function for those who have the factors of its elements to them. however they only unleash their truest power when six beings join in friendship and harmony. that is why celestia could not heal luna; she could not truly wield the elements. that is also why the regal sisters could not just reverse all the harm discord DID at once when they sealed him, and the mane six could.
magic can laso have the limitation of energy consumption, and that seems to be part of what happens in the series. the unicorns can exhaust themselves if they overuse magic.
4207979
Heh, I'll take that as a supreme compliment.
And I do do editing and proofreading -- though I'm very slow at it, you'll be glad you asked at the end.
As for some advice right now: writing powerful emotions is largely about word choice and knowing how to avoid a few pitfalls.
1- Use powerful words. "I felt guilty" -- nope. 'felt' is too weak. "Guilt kicked me in the gut" -- better, stronger verb that provides a visual.
2- Any time you name an emotion, you weaken it. (Because of show vs. tell) instead, show what physical sensations the character is feeling. Don't tell that they're on the verge of crying, show that their lip is trembling and there's a burning in the back of their eyes.
3: Don't overdo it.
4: Use your paragraph and sentence structure to your advantage. A short, one-sentence paragraph holds lots of emphasis, and the last word of any sentence (especially at the end of a paragraph) also gives a lot of natural emphasis. Use these to your advantage by putting your most powerful emotions in those places.
4208015
This isn't that kind of fic.
4208222
Well, the elements do promote harmony... when used as intended.
They're a force for harmony between ponies.
But when one pony holds all of them, there's no harmony to be created. The energy is wasted, and it festers, it rots... it becomes something else.
4208376
I like this 'magic comes at a price' idea.
I may have to use it in a future fic.
4208416
Well, I could have had the elements just increase her guilt and shame... but I think that would only make her super-emo... while I also wanted to deal with the concepts of Molestia and Trollestia.
But... but it's still marked incomplete...
4208660
Well, I'm still expecting a bonus chapter from Icebox Froggie at some point... which will hopefully wrap it all up nicely.
But for now, yes, that's the end.
I wish I knew who gave that one downvote.
I was hoping this one could finally achieve my '100 upvotes, 0 downvotes' goal.
4208737
Ah. Thought you were pranking us for a bit. Or just hadn't changed it yet.
4208610 it depends on the force I guess. think the problem with the elements is losing the balance of them, either falling into the sins that stand its opposites, and the crimes that are when the virtues are fixated upon entirely.
You finally did it, you finally got me to cry actual tears of sadness. That one sentence "She died still fearing me" I can't imagine what that would do to Celestia, knowing that the one pony who stuck by you was so traumatized by what you did would just be heart-breaking.
Once again you do not disappoint and while I feel this wraps everything up nicely I eagerly await the final instalment. I knew I wouldn't regret putting you on my awesome list
*Ten thumbs up* ^^
Nice story, Ocalhoun.
Pretty sad, though, but I liked it.
4208858
Yes, I suppose.
4209576
Nice!
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
4218834
4215733
Thanks!
so this is where the Infamous Molestia was born
4284240
Indeed.
4284248 i feel bad for the filly though
4284255
Well, yeah.
I used the [dark] tag for a reason.
...which is something I rarely do.
4284294 true that ooh does Tia let Mol out every once in awhile
i figure she gets that "itch" every century or so 
4284306
Nope, she keeps it locked tightly inside, where it burns at her, but she's as strong and enduring as the sun itself. She can handle the burn.
She still gets the itch. Every day, every hour, every minute. But she never acts on it, not in the slightest. She's caught in an eternal battle of wills with herself that nopony would ever guess, thanks to her centuries of practice in hiding it behind a smooth regal facade.
That is the Celestia I wanted to portray.
4284342
wheres the fun in that 
4284350
No fun. Is supr srs story.
Heh, really, though. It's true. I write fun, stupid stories sometimes, but on this one, I wanted to keep it very serious and, well, dark.
4284368 hehe i know i just read the one about jesus
Why did you add your own story to Plan 9 From Equestria: 2?
you do know you're not allowed to use it for self promotion right?
4398400
I did not know this.
Sorry!
I've removed it now.
4425665
Thanks!
Glad to see it being appreciated!
4471061
Awesome!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its OVER!
4946120
It's the biggest 'no' I've ever seen.
4951659
Yep. ^.^ Though, personally, I see it not as a consequence of how she used them, but simply that she has them. That it's just too much magic for any one pony to hold on to and stay sane.
4951625
If you're referring to the origin of the Equestria Girls mirror, you are correct.
I enjoyed this i really did
5340625
Thanks! ^.^
Just finished reading the entire thing and wow! Very interesting.
5403623
Glad people are still enjoying this old thing. ^.^
It is one of my better pieces, I think.
The monster behind the mask is always something I've liked about Tia, what happens when she breaks, what could cause her to break, how far would you have to push her before she shattered? While this doesn't delve into that, it does show the kind of monster Tia is when she does snap. Why haven't I seem this story before!
5528033
Glad you liked it! ^.^
Heh, another story entitled 'The Dark Side of The Sun'? I'll have to read this sometime, it looks very good.
6290548
Hopefully it's better than the other one!
6290599
I wrote the other one.
6291108
I regret nothing!
6291128
Yeah...
Onto the next one...
Having an ocalhoun-a-thon
6745973
That's the best kind of thon.