Chapter 5
As you walked through the streets of Ponyville, you couldn’t help but smile. You were happy; and why wouldn’t you be? The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and you were up until the wee hours of the morning last night making candy. You admit that last part wasn’t exactly the highlight of your week; you were tired, and your bloodshot eyes didn’t try to hide that fact. But it was a labor of love. Your saddlebag was stuffed to the brim with all of the candy you made, just for Pinkie Pie. And if yesterday was going to be anything like today, then you were going to get a taste of it as well.
Letting yourself into Sugarcube Corner, you look around and find Mr. and Mrs. Cake strangely absent. “Probably still sleeping…” you think aloud as you glance at the clock. With this thought in mind, you climb the stairs as quietly as you can and open the door to Pinkie Pie’s room. Looking around, you see the floor littered with more crumpled-up papers. On the desk sat a stack of papers, at least a half-inch tall.
Guess I wasn’t the only one burning the midnight oil, you think as you set your saddlebag down.
You stop dead in your tracks as you see Pinkie’s bed and realize that she’s still asleep. Part of you wants to play some sort of prank on her as payback for the many times she’s gotten you, but that blissful look on her face spoils everything. Waking her up now would be crime. Letting out a long, silent yawn, you remember your own sleepless night and feel Pinkie’s bed drawing you in. Being careful not to wake her up, you climb in next to Pinkie. Just as you drift off to sleep, you feel her wrap her forelegs around you and draw you into a tight cuddle, sending you straight to dreamland.
* * * * * * * * *
Tossing and turning in your bed, you can’t help but feel something is off. While it feels soft and cushiony, you find it hard to find any comfortable position. Rolling over onto your stomach, your lips come into contact with something.
Mmm... Sweet… you think as you smack your lips together. Opening your eyes, you find yourself staring not at your bed, but a large, pink blanket. Taking a whiff, you’re overpowered by a sweet smell. You gingerly stick your tongue out and find the blanket melt in your mouth in a lump of sugar.
“Cotton candy?” you ask aloud.
A giggle from nowhere gets your attention. “Sure is! Everything’s sweet here!”
You scramble to your hooves and try to find the source of the familiar voice.
“Up here, silly!”
Craning your neck upwards you find yourself staring at Pinkie Pie, who floated on a pink cloud of cotton candy.
“Just don’t eat too much of it. You’ll fall through!” she says with another giggle.
“Fall?” you ask. Looking down at your hooves, you realize what she meant. Pinkie Pie wasn’t the only one on a cloud. The ground looked so tiny from this high up and you could barely make out the world below. Inching back from the small hole you tore in the cloud, you look up at Pinkie who was eating her own candy cloud.
“I thought you said not to eat too much!”
Pinkie shrugs. “I changed my mind. We’re passing over Sarsaparilla Springs and I thought I’d go for a swim.” Pinkie takes another bite out of the cloud, making the entire thing shake.
Either Pinkie didn’t know how high up you were or didn’t care. “But you’ll fall!” you yell, hoping to talk some sense into her. But like that would ever work.
“So?” she asks before taking the final bite out of the candy cloud, causing it to fall to pieces. Pinkie hovers in the air for a few seconds and gives you a wave before plummeting.
“PINKIE!” you scream. You look around frantically for help until you realize you’re the only one up here.
Looking over the side of the cloud again, you swallow the lump in your throat. “Oh dear Celestia, I’m going to regret this…” Taking a deep breath, you run forward and jump off the candy cloud after her.
You scream as you plummet through the air, flailing around for anything to grab a hold of. Besides you, you hear another scream and see Pinkie falling next to you.
“What are we screaming about?!?” Pinkie yells.
You couldn’t believe she was asking such a question. “WE’RE FALLING!”
Pinkie stops screaming and simply shrugs. “So?”
“WE’RE GONNA D-”
What you thought were your final words was interrupted as you hit something solid, but bouncy at the same time. Opening your eyes slowly, you look around to see the world drifting by slowly. Looking down, you try to comprehend what you were floating on. It looked like a giant, translucent brown bubble and smelled of…
“Sarsaparilla?” you ask. Pinkie floats by lazily on a bubble that’s about the same size as yours.
“You were saying?” she asks teasingly.
The bubble touches down onto an equally brown lake that smells of sarsaparilla and you assume that this is ‘Sarsaparilla Springs’. Without any warning, the bubble pops and sends you face first into the spring. Forcing your way to the surface, you take a deep breath. Your nose stings from the carbonation and you rub at it vigorously, trying to stifle back a sneeze. You stop as you finally get chance to see your surroundings. Looking around, you realize you’re not in Equestria anymore. Licorice trees grew wild, bushes flowered with lollipops, and you were swimming in a lake of soda.
Pinkie surfaces right next to you and lets out a long belch. “S‘cuse me.” she says with a blush.
“Pinkie…. Where are we?” you ask as you watch a flock of marshmallow birds fly overhead.
Pinkie starts to backstroke around you. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“No, not really.” You slowly start to make your way to shore with Pinkie right on your heels. “Can you at least give me a hint?”
Pinkie goes from a backstroke to a butterfly. “Well... Anything can happen here.”
You wrack your brain, trying to figure out where in the world you were but come up with nothing. “I give up.” you finally admit as you reach the shore.
“Really?” Pinkie asks as she shakes herself dry. “I thought you were smart. You sure you don’t know?”
“No, Pinkie, I really don’t know. Where are we?”
Pinkie looks at you, disappointed for a moment, but then brightens up. “I’ll tell you if you catch me!” Pinkie yells before bolting off, leaving you in the dust.
Coughing up a substance that you’re sure is cinnamon, you rush after Pinkie Pie, hoping to get some answers.
“You sure you don’t want stop for a snack?” Pinkie asks as you chase her through the forest. Pinkie bucks at one of the trees and makes the fruit fall down on you. It’s then that you realize it’s not fruit, but a bunch of pies that fell on you. You try to shake the pastries off, but only manage to make yourself dirtier in the process.
You hear Pinkie Pie laughing ahead of you. "Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!"
You leap forward and try to grab Pinkie, but she slips through your grasp.
“Woop woop woop woop woop!” she cries as she runs away.
You chase Pinkie for five minutes before she stops and faces you. “Watch out!” she screams as she point to the sky. You look up just in time as a large, golden disk falls down and smothers you. It proves soft enough to actually rip your way through it. “Is...Is this a giant pancake?” you ask as you pull yourself out.
Pinkie takes a bite out of the pancake. “What else would it be?” she asks playfully, spraying crumbs everywhere. Seeing an opportunity, you try to pounce Pinkie Pie, but miss yet again as she runs off at the last second.
You finally manage to catch her at Jello Plains, jumping on a trampoline-sized patch of gelatin. Pinkie bounces through the air, giggling each time she’s thrown higher and higher, and doesn’t seem to notice you. With a running start, you jump onto a patch of red jello and propel yourself through the air towards Pinkie.
“Gotch’ya!” you exclaim as you tackle her into another gelatinous platform.
“Yay! You caught me!” Pinkie yells as both of you are thrown into the air again.
“So, where are we?” you ask. Instead of answering, Pinkie kisses you deeply. You’re so lost in the kiss that you don’t even notice when you bounce upwards again. Pinkie pulls back from the kiss and smiles at you as you soar through the air. She leans forward and whispers in your ear.
“You’re dreaming.”
* * * * * * * * *
Your eyes snap open and you sit up quickly. Looking around the room, you can’t help but confused.
This isn’t Jello Fie-… Wait… that was a dream, you think as you get out of bed. You don’t even realize Pinkie got out of bed until she comes bouncing in, carrying a tray on your back.
“Good morning~!” Pinkie exclaims as she sets the tray down on the bed. “I had the bestest dream ever! Everything was made of candy and you chased me around and then we were bouncing on jello and then I woke up and you were in my bed so I got up and made breakfast!”
You look at Pinkie, shocked at what she was telling you. “Pinkie, I had the same-” Before you can say anymore, Pinkie stuffs a pancake into your mouth.
“I looked at all the stuff in your pack, I hope you don’t mind! I saw all those neat-o sweets and wanted to start right after breakfast!” Pinkie says as she takes a bite of pancake, followed by a swig of maple syrup.
You swallow your pancake and look for something to drink, only to find nothing. Following Pinkie’s lead, you grab the bottle of syrup and take a sip.
“I had some ideas of my own I might want to try out,” you mention as you grab another pancake.
The discussion moves away from the plans for the Candy Sutra to current events in Ponyville. Pinkie mentions something about Applejack going on vacation sometime soon, but other than that, everything was ‘same old, same old,’ as Pinkie had put it.
You and Pinkie finish breakfast quickly, and begin to clean up the mess. “I’ll take care of the dishes,” you offer as you grab the tray.
“Great! While you do that, I’ll get set up over here!” Pinkie says as she roots around through your saddlebag.
You balance the tray of dirty dishes on your back and quickly make your way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Pinkie’s enthusiasm has rubbed off on you; you were washing the dishes eagerly. As quickly as you could, in fact, just so that you could get back up to see what she had planned. As you finish washing the last dish, you realize that Mr. and Mrs. Cake had still not appeared. Looking into the window, you notice the “Closed” side of the sign was facing outwards. You head back upstairs and walk into Pinkie’s room.
“Hey Pinkie, have you seen Mr. and Mrs... Cake...” your voice trailed off as you took in the site before you. Pinkie laid out on the bed, spreadeagle position.
“Let’s play a game,” Pinkie says with a sly grin. “Find the spots on me that aren’t sweet and you win a prize.”
“What do you mean...Aren’t sweet?” you ask as you climb onto the bed.
Pinkie giggles. “I’ll give you a hint. The first one is on my tummy.”
Lowering your head down to Pinkie’s stomach, you smell her coat and the shampoo she uses, a pink bubblegum concoction she buys at the spa, but you also smell something else. Something tart. Finding the spot that smells the strongest of tart, you place your tongue on her stomach and finally realize what the smell was.
“Sourball?” you ask Pinkie.
She sticks her tongue out and reveals one of the green sourballs you made last night. “Four more.” she says before sticking the sourball back into her mouth.
Knowing what to look for now, you set to work.
Pinkie’s breathing grows shallow as you move your muzzle across her body. Finding a tart spot on her neck, you nip at her, eliciting a squeak from her.
“T-Three more...”
You continue along Pinkie’s front right leg and find a spot on her ankle. Knowing it’s her week spot, you can’t help but tease her by tracing your tongue across the whole thing, making her squirm and moan aloud. Finishing up the spot, you look up to Pinkie and can’t help but chuckle at her dreamy-eyed expression.
“Two...” she says, nearly above a whisper.
The next spot wasn’t too far from the first and was inside her underarm. Pinkie had told you before that she was very ticklish and this becomes apparent when her laughs echo through the entire house as your tongue traces across her underarm. By the end of it, Pinkie was in tears and her entire face was bright red.
“O-o-o-one more!” she gasps out, trying to catch her breath.
The last place was obvious, but there was no way you couldn’t call it sweet. Placing your lips onto hers, you and Pinkie share a sweet and sour kiss. Her tongue finds its way into your mouth and you can’t help but taste the sourball she had been eating earlier. And while you’ve never been a fan of sour candy, you can’t help but enjoy what it turned this kiss into. You pull away from the kiss and grin mischievously at Pinkie.
“What?” she asks.
“Didn’t you say I win a prize?”
Pinkie looks confused for a moment, but then nods her head as she remembers, apparently forgetting what she said when lost in the moment. “It’s your turn.” she says. “Do whatever you want to me.”
Your entire face goes red.
She couldn’t mean... you shake the visions out of your head and turn to your saddlebag. Reaching in, you grab a large coil of red rope.
“I’m going to need some help getting this set up.” you say.
Pinkie raises an eyebrow. “What’s the rope for?” she asks.
“Licorice.” you correct.
Getting the licorice tied around the rafters was harder than you had imagined. Luckily, you made it happen with Pinkie’s help. By the end, there were eight strands of licorice, each about an inch thick, hanging from the ceiling. The next part was tricky, however. Positioning the table under the licorice, you had Pinkie lay on her back with her hooves in the air.
“Okay, what next?” she asks.
You didn’t know the first thing about bondage, but the idea interested you. You knew that the licorice ropes had to support all of her weight, so you begin to tie them to key points of her body so they hold her without being too uncomfortable. By the end of it, Pinkie is hanging upside down, her hooves bound together and swinging freely.
“I didn’t know you were into these sort of things.” Pinkie says as she adjusts herself.
“Neither did I...” you say under your breath. Reaching back into your saddlebag, you take out a final piece of licorice that’s shorter than the others. Carrying it in your mouth, you walk towards Pinkie and push her, making her spin. As her rump comes into view, you throw your head back and bring the licorice whip down on her, making her squeak aloud.
Setting the whip down, you spin Pinkie the opposite way until she’s facing you. “How was that?” you ask.
Pinkie Pie blushes heavily. “Umm... Can you do it again?” she asks bashfully.
“If that’s what you want, Kinky Pie,” you say teasingly. You spin Pinkie Pie around again and pick up the licorice whip and bring it down again. Pinkie moans aloud this time, obviously enjoying it. You decide to try another spot and manage to get the licorice whip to hit her back, making her moan even louder.
“Wow, Kinky Pie. You are really enjoying this. If I had known, I would have made a candy cane bit to go with it.”
You keep this up for what feels like a half an hour before stopping. Pinkie’s rump was bright red and her back had red streaks across it. It looked painful, but she just spun upside down with a satisfied smile on her face.
“You okay, Pinkie?” you ask.
“YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND, BABY RIGHT ROUND LIKE A RECORD, BABY! RIGHT ROUND ROUND ROUND!” Pinkie cries out as she spins around in a circle.
“Uhhhh Pinkie? Are you okay?” Pinkie doesn’t answer you, but instead keeps smiling.
“I think it’s time we get you down form there.” you say as you begin to untie Pinkie. As you undo one of the knots, one of the licorice ropes breaks, causing Pinkie to jerk violently and snaps her out of her daze. She looks up at the rafters and frowns. “Well that’s not good.” she says. Following her gaze, you watch as the licorice ropes begin to fray and stretch. You jump to grab Pinkie before she falls, but only serve as a landing pad for her as she comes crashing down. You and Pinkie groan aloud in pain and help each other to your hooves. You both stop dead when you hear a voice from the other side of the door.
“Oh, I hope they’re okay.”
You and Pinkie look at each other, wide eyed. She motions her eyes towards you and then towards the door. Taking the hint, you walk along the wall and reach out and grab the doorknob. Flinging the door open, you are shocked to see two ponies you know fall onto the floor in front of you.
“MR. AND MRS. CAKE?” you yell aloud.
Mrs. Cake scramble to her hooves and stumbles across her words. “O-o-oh! Uh, Hi! We were just, ah, well, that is, were...”
It’s obvious that Mrs. Cake didn’t expect to be caught in this situation.
“We were looking for the bathroom!” Mr. Cake finally chimes in, wearing a sheepish smile.
“Yes! That’s it!” Mrs. Cake exclaims. “This isn’t it, so we’ll be going now!”
“But you live here.” you say, shattering their already flimsy story.
“Oh, well... Umm...” Mrs. Cake looks desperately for the right words, but finds nothing.
Pinkie Pie gasps aloud as she puts the pieces together. “Oh my gosh! Were you spying on us?!?” Pinkie asks, almost enthusiastically.
Mrs. Cake opens her mouth, but stops and sighs heavily. “Yes. We were. I’m sorry! It’s just the thing with the chocolate and whip cream went over so well and I wanted to know what I could do next.” The fact that Mrs. Cake was watching you didn’t shock you as much as what she was now admitting.
“...What you could do next?” you ask.
Mr. Cake nods. “I’m to blame for this entire mess... I saw you two well, going at it it yesterday. The Mrs. here has been complaining that things have been a little...Boring lately and I got this notion to try it out with her.”
Mrs. Cake blushes heavily and nods her her head. “It was definitely something new... When I asked him where he came up with that, he told me about you two and well... I just had to see more.”
Everyone was silent for the longest time before Pinkie Pie speaks up
“So, what did you think?” she asks.
“Uhh... Well... I don’t know about the whole whipping thing.” Mr. Cake says bashfully.
“Umm I may want to try that out...” Mrs. Cake says above a whisper.
Mr. Cake eyes go wide and turns to his wife. “A..Are you sure about that, Cupcake?”
Mrs. Cake leans in and whispers something into Mr. Cake’s ear, making his entire face go bright red. He reaches for you and grabs you by the shoulders.
“How long would it take to make more licorice?” he asks sharply.
“Uh, maybe a day?” you sputter out, taken aback by Mr. Cake’s brashness.
Mrs. Cake looks a little disappointed by the news. “What do you do until then?”
Pinkie puts a hoof around Mrs. Cake’s shoulder and brings her close. “You see, this is what you do...” she says before whispering something to Mrs. Cake. At one point, Mrs. Cake gasps aloud. “Oh my... I never thought to use cherries for that!” she says with a giggle.
When Pinkie’s done with Mrs. Cake, she turns to both of you. “I’m REALLY sorry for all of this. I feel horrible for spying on you two during such an intimate moment.”
You feel yourself blush and you rub the back of your head with your hoof. “It’s okay. Just wait for the book to come out, okay?”
“Book?” Mrs. Cake asks quizzically.
“Yup! I’m writing a book! The Candy Sutra! It’ll have everything we’ve been doing it!” Pinkie says proudly.
Mr. Cake lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank Celestia! I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if we kept spying on you like that. Come on, Cupcake, let’s leave these two alone,” he says as he nuzzle Mrs. Cake.
Without a word, the two bolt down the stairs, nipping at each other and giggling like two young lovers.
“Well... That was awkward.” you say as you close the door.
Pinkie nods. “I don’t think I can go on knowing they’re doing something in the other room.”
An awkward silence fills the room for some time before you finally say something.
“I think I have some cherries at my house.”
Pinkie turns to you. “And I know a shop that sells fresh whipped cream.”
Without a word, you and Pinkie bound down the stairs and into the streets of Ponyville, laughing and kissing each other. You were happy and it was all because of the sweetest pony in all of Equestria. Pinkie Pie plants a kiss on your lips and smiles as you make it to your house.
“I love you.”
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Bahahaha. I approve.
Dude, this 2nd person fiction is properly awesome!
I loved the little link with Healing Dash ^_^ Can't wait to read the rest of them bro, you've got talent! 
this is awsome, i was confused as to why it had no ratings until the 5th chapter but its good
WHAT! NOOOO ive caught up :\ BUT DUDE, THIS IS AWESOME, <3 pinkie soooooo much. just, amazing. U get a watch and a 5 man KEEP IT UP! :D this is one way to brighten my day
SWEET MOTHER OF JEFFERSON DAVIS.
This fiction is incredible. I don't think there could be a better combination of bad-assery such as Paintball combined with romanticism: you pulled this off flawlessely. I tip my hat, and all of my five stars, to you, my good man.
God......you are a true writer.....and your also 5.00 grams of pure pinkie pie! Keep it up but please...little less sause please.
For my first reaction? "Darn, stories got posted while I was asleep, other people got to read them first." My second reaction? "Well, the quality is still there, so, lets enjoy these anyway." Quite good, by this point I am almost an internet stalker on your page, waiting cheerfully for the next update. I feel that I will enjoy all of these stories as long as you keep posting them.
In the immortal words of the most revered Tucker.
"Bow chicka bow wow!"
Seriously though, cute story and it managed all that it did without going into xxx-land.
*Faved*
Metal gear solid reference in the story? you made this story so much better awesome work
12797
12801
Whee!
12803
Many more crossovers in my fic involving past work. It's like a web now, with all the little references to past, present, and even future works.
12812
Thankies. ^.^
12833
Much more to come, trust me.
12849
FRIENDSHIP.
FLAWLESS VICTORY.
12854
Heh, thanks. It took quite a while to write it, but was worth it.
12901
12910
I'll try. :P
13011
Stories and more stories to come, each one better than the last. ^.^
13408
Speaking of which, Swing (My female-perspective Applejack fic) has a pretty hot and heavy optional part (written by Coffeebean himself). I feel like if someone wants to read it or stuff like that, I should make it optional. That's why there will be a link in the description to a gdoc should I do anything like that. Just thought I'd let you all know.
13424
The story was sweet, both figuratively and literally. :P
13746
That will definitely be a little weird, but I might as well throw it onto the pile. It won't come right away, though. I've got enough to write already. >.>;
13764
Eeyup. I thought it was totally random at first, but then I realized I was writing about Pinkie Pie and went with it.
So .. very .. much .. approve!!
I so approve of this
now make one with applejack x3
you sould make a epiloge
This is literally the best fic ever.
I'm reading this as part of the Second Person Shipping Collection #6, and this is The. Best. Possible. Thing.
And now readers have a craving for candy and everything kinky... Proud of yourself? XD
55054
Much so. ^.^
I read both this and your CMC 2nd person. I had no idea it was the same person at the time. But I must say, I now have the urge to devour anything you write. I shall begin the conquest at noon tomorrow, and I shall end it victory!
Lol i totally read these out of order - reading love triangle then dash then applejack then rarity then this... but DAMN i never would have thought that a pinkie pie romance woulda worked...
I love all the 2nd person view stories
You nailed it right in the center target...
Licorice.... Now that is certainly.... Well more creative than what I would have come up with, I was actually thinking lollipops would make a good substitute, since well, they are flat and all... Oh, and they have a handle to do some even more Kinky stuff.
Anything more like this?
Holy snap! This was very entertaining.
The whole paintball date? And then Kinky Pie? That was the most entertaining read in a long time. :D
BRAVO!
96357
Not all lolipops are flat...
That isn't a bad thing, of course.
ugh after this story i've got a fetish for paintball and chocolate!
“I think I have some cherries at my house.”
Pinkie turns to you. “And I know a shop that sells fresh whipped cream.”
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Me gusta.
umm wow candy will never be the same for me again in a good way
“Woop woop woop woop woop!” she cries as she runs away.
pinkie zoidburg?!?! woop woop woopastro.ubc.ca/~jonben/images/blog/avatars/zoidberg_evil.jpg
316283
Close, three stooges.
Hrm, I could have sworn that I commented on this. Oh well, I'll do it now! Hilarious and yummy read, well done.
354248
Nope, I just like to reference work that I have planned so people think I'm a wizard.
I wish it was longer, but once again you have made me one happy pony!
Gentleman Creeper, You perfect bastard, you!
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2bqnvK6NG1rsowkbo1_1280.gif
YOU SPIN ME RIGHT AROUND BABY RIGHT AROUND, LIKE A RECORD PLAYER
P.S. Vinyl is best pony
AWESOME!!!!
This is the future and it does work.
Absolutely fantastic!! The pacing was perfect and the story itself was so adorable. When I found out the date was actually paintball contest I thought "Oh jeez" but you executed so incredibly I don't think it could have gone any better. Amazing character writing as well. When other people try to write Pinkie they tend to get away with alot of LolSoRandumbXD without actually character building Pinkie's personality, but you wrote her so sweet, i daawwed to death when they confessed their love. Just brilliant, and I loved all the references.
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Well that was spicy
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That is all I have to say. Oh and this too...
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1536714 lawl
356805 you say that like you aren`t...
Wonderfully written. I gotta read 2nd person fics more.
Oh lawrd! *giggles*
I See What you did There ! xD
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4474-Fun_Times....gif
Good story.
I always knew Mr. And Mrs. Cake were PERVERTS
I hope there will be more soon as this is really good plz have more soon plz plz plz this is sooo awesome
Kinky Pie.... I love it
I love how ridiculously wholesome this whole story is, despite - or I suppose because of - the sexual themes. Super fun.