• Member Since 13th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 3rd, 2014

TN-Scotsman


E

Spitfire needs help. There is one pony she can think to turn to, Rainbow Dash. Rainbow saved her life once, now she will have a chance to do it again, if she will.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 33 )

Interesting. I will now read it.

Well, I want to read this. It seems interesting. But I have no idea why! What's it about? At 31,000 words, you're going to give me a bigger teaser. Please.

"At that moment, a canister on the counter top beside Rainbow Dash shot its lid off and across the room. A bright pink pony head rose from the canister. With a very serious and nearly sinister tone, it said “FOREVERRRR!” before lowering back into the canister, never taking its eyes off Rainbow or Twilight."

You have no idea how hard I laughed at that.

Great story, btw! I don't like how you portray the Wonderbolts, but damn, this is just too good to not like because of something like that.

Just read it, why is it flagged as incomplete? Is there more to come?

Anyway, great story.

my reaction when I finished this story:

files.myopera.com/TimoP/sharing/rockerjcvd.gif

THIS WAS FUCKING AWESOME

403925 Well, without spoiling anything, Spitfire wants to leave the Wonderbolts, but leaving the Wonderbolts is simply not done. She asks Rainbow for help and the rest of the Mane 6 pitch in where they can. Not really sure what else to tease without spoiling too much.

403994 Honestly, I laughed while writing it. I'm glad that came through.
I didn't really like having to put the Wonderbolts in that kind of light either, but I needed a villain. So, I just decided to try and make them like most organized sport teams :P Then I had to figure out some way to try and give them a touch of redemption by the end.
Just glad you liked it!

404254 Sorry, my bad. Forgot to update the complete flag.

404329

Oh my crap! I had the same idea for a sub-plot in MLD. But of course from what I can assume, the problem comes not from taboo, but from the fact that she is the only medic on the team, a role she's also overqualified for. She'd need to find a proper replacement in order not to leave them high and dry.

this was awesomely good :rainbowkiss: worth all shut-eye i didn't have :pinkiecrazy:
starred , thumbed and going to sleep goodnight everypony and keep up the good work ~:yay:

Hmm. Pretty entertaining, although I must say the end feels a bit anti-climatic. And TwiDash came sorta out of nowhere. That is not necessarily bad, but yeah.

one note : hey positions =/= possessions

this needs to be slowed down...but otherewise its a good story

ok in this chapter you made it sound like Twilight had never met pinkie...

Chapter 1: So far so jolly, though I think the first half, with Spitfire trying to put off and put off the explanation felt a bit awkward. It felt more like the set up for some big twist that never came. Not that I mind so much, it just feels awkward.

Then there's the part where Spitfire and Rainbow are yelling at eachother. It didn't feel like they were. Not quite sure how to explain it. I guess if it was written a bit more like it should have sounded, it would have worked better.

But otherwise, it's really good.

I just had a thought. Perhaps everything Spitfire thinks about the 'bolts is actually a lie. Not to say she's lying, but in fact she's being completely honest and is delusional. She only thinks the 'bolts are out to get her, and they merely want her to get the help she needs.

432436 Slight spoiler.............I don't play that exact card, but in Day 7, the idea is brought up.

Once or twice a season? You got me good :rainbowlaugh:

435496 YEAH! Glad someone caught the joke.

Here's the thing that bugs me about this whole don't-tell-anypony-about-the-Wonderbolts-dirty-secret thing. Somepony must think that it's better for people to know a crushing truth, than an uplifting lie. They should at least use it as blackmail.

"Hey, several ponies already know about what's going on. If you try to rope me in again, they'll go straight to the press! So let me out of my contract, and let me have my life savings." Won't be good for that information to be let out. So they'll comply. What's the worst that could happen?

The ending feels rushed. I find it really odd that you just gloss over their crucial arguments. That seems very essential to the plot. Not something that should be glossed over.

Also, it's written in Ancient Equestrian? Da fuck? That just feels cheap. If I may:

Advocate: "What? There is no section seven!"
Luna: "Here, you may borrow my microscope!"

Comically fine print probably works a lot better than, part of contract is written in a language we never bothered translating.

loved characterization of spitfire and shy:raritywink:

loved this story:pinkiesad2:

daylight

twilight...:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry: YOU DAMNED TRAITOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

BRAVO. SPECTACULAR STORY MY GOOD SIR, HAVE A MUSTACHE, YOU'VE EARNED IT!!!!!!:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

A pretty good story so far. I like to see them on the run and also see them experience different things that bring them closer together.

This was a nice story all around. Stories like this always make me want to see a sequel come out of it. A FlutterFire and TwiDash sequel perhaps? Great job writing. I look forward to reading more from you in the future.

thats.....a dark concept....great imagination although it makes me think a dark tag...maybe? eh we'll see intriguing start though

Haha! First comment in like- aaagggeeesss!:pinkiehappy:
I loved this story!

For the first time in years, I enjoyed flying.

There's exactly one thing that brings to mind.

An interesting premise that doesn't really go anywhere, with a lackluster conclusion.

Very good story, great job! :pinkiehappy:

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