The first in a franchise spanning all of time and space.
A sunny day in Equestria for the ponies, just another day of teaching for Cheerilee, what could possibly be so unusual? How about a filly who knows more than she should, a home address that's nothing but a strange blue box or an alien who travels through time and space with his granddaughter? It's gonna be a hell of a ride.
Rated teen for blood/gore and some use of strong language.
I would like to state that I prefer making things more adult than the source material when it comes to fanfiction so don't be surprised if future stories contain more adult themes.
Chapters (18)
Here, my friends, is the beginning of my very first fiction. Enjoy.
Can't wait for the next chapter, any plans to do the dalek story?.
Yes actually, I just haven't come up with a good substitute appearance, after all it needs to be at least a bit relevant to the series.
Just leave them the same and have the Thals be the ponys.
Yeah actually. I suppose that makes sense since the Daleks think they are superior to others. Thanks, I'm honestly surprised I didn't think of that.
Another idea came to mind, make the thals all Pegasus.
Actually, the Thals original story in Doctor Who had them being farmers so wouldn't Earth Ponies make more sense?
Run-on sentences; your writing is infested with them. It really doesn't take that much effort to type a period instead of a comma.
>>Kris Overstreet Looking through it, I think you're right. I'm just glad the first piece of criticism I've had is constructive and not trolls.
Listening to this while I read:
If there are any deviantartists reading this, do you think you could draw or find some cover art for the story?
I eagerly await your response.
Oh It's Susan! I always like the idea of the Doctor travelling with Susan in Equestria!
Hey there, dropping a comment because I finished reading this story today and enjoyed it. I actually did something similar my first time out (a pony version of An Unearthly Child) but I can say without reservation that you did it better since I stuck far too close to the original script/story.
While there were some issues with spelling and grammar, I'm usually lenient on kicking up a fuss about those. Especially since I recently learned I'd been making a rather glaring error for years. Honestly, there are only two things in the story as a whole I took issue with:
Swearing. But that's mostly just me because I tend to dislike swearing in general and find it out of place in pony fics.
Calling the Doctor "Doctor Hooves" since, outside of the show's credits and "Doctor Who and the Silurians," the series never actually calls him "Doctor Who."* In modern Who it's become more of a running gag than anything. As a result, every time I saw "Doctor Hooves" I found myself mentally editing out the "Hooves" part.
That said, I did like "Sugar Hooves" as a name for 'Susan.'
Those gripes aside, I enjoyed the fic and hope you keep up the good work.
*In hindsight, the Second Doctor does call himself "Doctor von Wer" (Doctor Who in German) in "The Highlanders." But even that probably falls into the 'running gag' bit.
4116740 Thanks for the uplifting comment, I was actually starting to think I'd done a bad job. I do apologise for the swearing, I just find it hard to believe that in a world where this stuff happens that no one has so much as a 'holy shit' leave their mouths.
But again thank you for nice comment, it makes me less nervous about writing the next one.
4117361
In terms of good or bad job, the story's good. But I'd invest in a proofreader or, at the very least run a spellchecker. There's a few misspells and grammar details that need clearing up. One clear example would be misspelling "lightning" as "lightening"
The swearing thing's not a huge deal more just a personal hangup for me. I try not to outside of an occasional 'hell' or 'damn' unless it fits the character involved. The one I'd really make a thing about is using "Doctor Hooves" over "the Doctor." Since the Doctor is how he's known in-series.
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I think this apropos for this chapter until someone does 1st doctor .gifs...
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As it turned out it didn't take that long at all as Cheerilee flipped through her fifth book and saw the details about and artefact called the 'Crystal Heart' right at the back.
She showed Doctor Hooves "Perfect." he said. He then proceeded to tear the back page from the book and put it in the pocket he had on his black jacket.
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I see what you did there...
This was great. Seriously.
Also +10 for The Doctor not regenerating from humanoid to equinoid and crashing in Equestria.