My Little Wesker

by Iamdanny0

Albert Wesker and Hoofball, Part I

Albert Wesker and Hoofball Training, Part I

Author's Note: Thanks for reviews, favourites, follows and feedback, I love you all. P.S. Another background pony cameo! I am so darn good to you people... :P Beta’d by Jack Kellar, ever reliable fellow that he is.

Rainbow Dash noted Wesker's eagerness to escape the disaster he had just caused and nodded in his direction, indicating the stairs with a twitch of her head. The stallion used Twilight's ongoing state of catatonic confusion to creep his way out of the basement, moving backwards and never taking his eyes off of the baffled unicorn.

The pegasus and the earth pony escaped the scene, the latter shaking his head in response to the former's question about hoofball. Once they had exited the basement and eventually the library itself, Rainbow turned in bemused fashion towards the blond stallion. It appeared as though the mare wished to discuss the matter of the sport in further detail.

"I don't really wanna think about what you just did, 'coz it makes my head hurt, but I think that you might be our best chance of finally beating Canterlot at hoofball."

Wesker resisted the urge to ask whether Rainbow Dash actually had a brain at all. While he could understand a burning desire to win a competition, he found himself absolutely stunned that she could effortlessly dismiss the origins of his – now confirmedly abnormal – abilities in order to do so.

Then, a thought occurred to him. "How many years in a row have you lost to Canterlot?

She scuffed a hoof awkwardly along the ground and mumbled, "Thirteen."

Well... That made more sense. Her desire to finally defeat Canterlot was bordering on obsession; she would probably accept a dragon dropping out of the sky if it could play up front. "I see. Is the Ponyville team as greatly inferior as it seems?"
"We lost twenty to five last year."

Wesker had never been particularly 'sporty', but he was glad to discuss the topic of hoofball if it distracted his pegasus rival from his true nature. "And you assume I will be able to reverse the tide?"

"You've gotta!" She ran an aggravated hoof across her forehead. "I can't take another beating from those snooty Canterlot ponies! I scored all 5 of our goals last year; we just need one more decent player to even things up a bit more."

Wesker tilted his head to the side, pontificating. It was a waste of his time and of his capabilities, he had no vested interest in sports, and no real desire to see Rainbow Dash win anything... but a rebellious spark had ignited in his brain.

Go on, Al. Do it. Win it for Ponyville. Become a hero.

Joy had inadvertently stumbled upon something important.

Wesker decided to quiz the rambunctious mare for clarification, "Do many Ponyville citizens come to watch the match?"
"Yeah, every year," she nodded absentmindedly, "even if we get destroyed every time."

If he were to help Ponyville win this match, then any suspicions about his background would dissolve under the force of the hero worship of an entire town. Any group of ponies forced to watch their town annihilated thirteen years in a row would probably be able find a sudden blind spot when it came to genetically engineered former-villains.

Former villain, Albert?

Technically he had done nothing especially villainous during his time within Equestria.

"Very well. I am willing to play for your hoofball team, Miss Dash."

His newly acquired teammate stared blankly at him as the information was processed, and as it did, the corners of her mouth gradually spread apart. She let out a whoop of joy. "All right, Al! Come with me, the hoofball pitch is just on the edge of town. Let's go test out your skills!"

Rainbow shot off, whilst Wesker slowly ambled in the direction she had accelerated towards. Apparently his speed was dissatisfactory to the pegasus, whom reappeared, grabbed the unimpressed former Umbrella operative from above and half-carried, half-dragged him off.

One undignified journey later, Wesker was standing in front of a metal goal frame attached to a ragged net. Rainbow Dash was located between the posts, clapping her hooves together eagerly. "Come on, Al! Let's see what you've got!"

He looked with mild distaste at the muddy object in front of him. "Why is this ball so dirty?"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Because it's been in the dirt, Al. Just kick it!"

"Certainly doesn't smell like dirt, it smells like sh..."

"KICK THE BALL!"

Wesker grumbled non-descript complaints under his breath but prepared to comply, arching his back and turning 180 degrees in order to buck the ball right into Rainbow Dash's stupid face. He swung his hindlegs with considerable effort behind it... and watched the ball travel directly upwards.

Wow.

The pegasus hit a hoof against her forehead in disbelief. "Geez, Al, great job. Now that ain't coming down for a while."

Huh, I didn't even think that was even possible, Al.

Wesker seconded that statement. There was literally no forward movement; the ball was going to travel into the stratosphere before landing on pretty much the exact same spot it started. It was almost impressive in its sheer impossibility.

Miss Dash didn't seem inclined to agree. "What the hay was that, Al? I thought you were a top athlete!"

He managed to resist the urge to point out that 'athlete' did not necessarily mean 'sportspony'. "I believe I am allowed a mulligan."

She frowned in confusion. "What?"

"Just shut up and wait for the ball to come back down!"

The startled cerulean mare obeyed. Moments later, she started whistling tunelessly as they waited for the ball to land.

Well... This is awkward.

No. This was getting beyond the realms of awkward and into the truly ridiculous.

He considered giving up on the entire endeavour. If ever there was a sign that he wasn't suited to the sport of hoofball, then it had just proved its point as it shot miles into the air. After several more awkward seconds, he finally spoke, "I believe I have lost your ball, Miss Rainbow."

She threw him a dirty look in return, "You don't say..."

Whatever retort Wesker had lined up died in his throat when he saw a grey pegasus with a blond mane swooping clumsily from above the clouds, clutching the ball between her hooves. She descended uneasily to the ground in front of him and dropped the inflated sphere at his feet.

The first thing the former scientist noticed about the recently arrived mare was her eyes. Admittedly, they were a rather impressive shade of luminescent gold, but more importantly they were facing in totally contradictory directions, neither of which contained him in their trajectories.

Before he could comment or express any form of confusion, the new arrival spoke to Rainbow, "I caught your ball, Rainbow Dash, it smells kinda funny."

Her voice was.. uneven, to say the least, and the ex-STARS captain got the distinct impression that the blond mare was not exactly a prodigy. Regardless, she had claimed the ball somehow and deserved his thanks. "Indeed, it appears I made an error of judgement when I struck it. My sincerest gratitude for returning it, Miss...?"

The silver pegasus turned her head towards Wesker, the only indication he had that she was facing him. Her pupils still resolutely disobeyed their master. "Huh?"

Perhaps he ought to use smaller words... "Thank you for giving the ball back. What is your name? I am Albert Wesker."
The blond mare beamed in response, "Oh, that was no problem, Albert Wesker! I'm Ditzy Doo, but everypony calls me Derpy."

I wonder why...

Wesker cast a sidelong glance at Rainbow Dash, who looked to be enjoying the contrast between himself and Miss Doo far too much for his liking. She smiled innocently in return and motioned for Wesker to kick the ball once more. He obliged... and watched as the ball sailed over the goal and smashed the window of a house.

It really was not his day.

Rainbow glared at Wesker, Wesker stared disbelievingly off into the distance where he had just broken somepony's double glazing, and Ditzy chuckled. "Don't worry, Albert Wesker, nopony lives in that house anymore." She paused. "Hey, do you break things too? Like, not on purpose? I do, all the time; I think we should be friends."

Wesker smirked. "I do seem to have a natural talent for destruction."

That's an understatement, Al.

Rainbow snickered, hiding her growing annoyance behind the humour of the event. "Sure do, Al. Try not to break anything when you go in there to get the ball back."

He sighed and trudged away towards the house, the absurdity of the situation permeating through every synapse in his brain. Technically, his reasons for even participating in the hoofball match were built on fairly unstable ground: they relied quite heavily on his performing well and on the spectator ponies actually caring enough to dismiss the fact they had a mutant in their midst.

Still, it wasn't as though he had anything better to do at the time.

He raised a hoof to knock on the wooden door before remembering that nopony was inside. The former human attempted to open the door, but the entrance was firmly locked, leading him to resort to good old fashioned brute force; a mighty kick to the hinges caused the entire door to fold like wet cardboard.

That's gonna lower the resale value, Al.

A terrified squeak issued forth from the dark recesses of the abandoned house as the door collapsed inwards. Wesker was instantly wary. "Who's there? Listen, you've nothing to fear from me."

Not technically true, but it wouldn't be particularly diplomatic to mention the scores of people he had killed.

Silence greeted his words. "I am only here to reclaim my ball." He felt somewhat childish admitting that, but carried on regardless, "I accidentally kicked it through the window."

Again he was met with impassive quiet. He took a few steps forward. "I wasn't aware anypony or anything was in here. I apologise for breaking the door, but I am not renowned for my patience."

Another squeak met Wesker's ears and he arched an eyebrow whilst progressing further into the structure. A mouse scuttled out from under a thick pile of dust, darting out in front of Wesker and hiding behind a rotting chair off to his left.
He had been speaking to a mouse. How...

Wait...

Something about the furry mammal didn't seem right; it had an ethereal, shimmering quality to it, and certainly did not look like your bog standard rodent. He dashed forward at a superhuman rate and prodded the creature with a hoof.

It disappeared.

Oh my Jesus, Al! Ghost mouse!! Run for the hills!

He ignored Joy's panic, rationalizing the incident. Judging by what he had read about magic, it appeared to be an illusion, but not a particularly convincing one. If that were the case, then there would need to be a caster of said spell...
"Come out. Now."

"Hayseeds!" Wesker heard a small voice coming from a dark corner of the abandoned home. "I could never get that spell right."

That confirmed his theory. He arched a solitary eyebrow. "Come out where I can see you."

The owner of the voice reluctantly complied, the shadows around him slowly parting as he padded forwards into the light.

It was a small unicorn colt.

Comments

[draconas]

[Dragon363]

wow

[omega-ze-wargod]

ohhhhhh wesker ......(80's backround laughter)

-wargod

[Sweetiebellema121]

"a small unicorn colt"
snips or an oc i'm guessing?

[Alex Wadegrove]

Hmm... I wonder who the unicorn might be... Snails or Snips perhaps?

[Thethirteenth]

My moneys on scoots. also, epic chapter.

[SouthernmostDogs]

Cliffhanger.

Fuck you, just fuck you.

[Major-Alucard-Wesker]

MOAR!!!

static.fjcdn.com/pictures/MLP+WALLPAPER.+Cool+Discord+wallpaper_16a9c2_3354767.jpg

[The Gargoyle]

aw. i was hoping fo Trixie

[Stoneificaunt]

RUN TO THE HILLS RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

[Drawdex]

Cliffhanger of last chapter almost got me killed and now this...

1288105 A- FUCKING -MEN

[PonyofTacos]

I was expecting Scootaloo and about that cliffhanger...
empireonline.com/images/features/100greatestcharacters/photos/40.jpg

[AlolanRaichu]

Tears of joy. IT UPDATED! Also, do not fear little one. He only kicked the door down, hit a ball almost all the way into the stratosphere, and pulled 1.5 times the weight of 1980 pounds. So, come! Show yourself to Wesker!

[Ozymandias]

1288088

My moneys on scoots. also, epic chapter.

>Unicorn colt
>Scootaloo
No, no no no something here just isn't adding up.

[kanothepegasus44]

DAMN CLIFF HANGERS but love the story keep it up

[HIEfan]

Awsome as always.

[Mikoyose]

Great chapter

1288105
Cliffhangers FTW

[CIA]

"finishes reading and notices a RE 6 ad."
Ok now I'm calling convienence

[draco flameheart]

snips or snails is my best guess.

[suijin228]

Interesting... Amazing chapter, keep goin and stay golden^^

[Impoxdragon]

Was going to read a fic that came out of hiatus... but this takes priority over everything!

[Baboosh]

prequeladventure.com/this/story254.gif

That FUCKING cliffhanger

[DavidPony]

this fic keeps getting better

[clonezero]

So that must be the oc that the author talked about, wonder who he is.

And I really like Joy's comments, he's the one I like he most in the story even if he's just a voice in Wesker's head.

[Garino]

Nicely done.

[StatusQo]

Hesker is gona annilate the canterlot team hopefully.

[Genesis1212]

heh update! woot xD hmm.... i wonder who the colt is? o.0

[Paladin Redflare]

Is it Snips?
1291939 Who the hay is Hesker?

[Captain Literal]

Who else but Wesker?

[Iamdanny0]

1299074

Haha, I didn't actually have Deadpool in mind but you're right, they're both pretty...unique.

[Warden Lover]

I could not stop laughing when wesker kicked the ball.