My Little Wesker

by Iamdanny0

Albert Wesker and the Party, Part IV

Author's Note: I know I know, world's longest party. I just had too many ideas for it. Enjoy. Beta'd and proofread by the ever reliable REV6Pilot

Wesker maintained a careful distance away from Rainbow Dash as Twilight left him to talk to her multicoloured pegasus friend. It would be untrue of him to state that conflict was not in his nature, but he certainly did not thrive off petty verbal disputes. This was not a contest he could settle via his traditional preferred means, which normally consisted of a bullet from a silenced gun straight to the skull of the target.

Not an option, Al. Hooves can't hold guns.

That was the most basic flaw in assassinating someone he'd had a minor argument with... perhaps he was exaggerating?

Wonders never cease, Albert.

There was nothing he could do to remove her from his life now, and so he supposed he would have to tolerate her presence. It appeared that Twilight Sparkle and Applejack were fast friends with the rambunctious Pegasus, and so avoiding her was almost surely impossible. Of course, he was never going to be her friend – that was an honour reserved for those that he at least didn't want to kill, and the chromatic mare certainly did not fit that bill – but he could at least try to be civil, by his standards at least. If she snapped first, then she would appear to be the villain of the piece, and perhaps the others would shun her. It was a vague plan, but a plan nonetheless, one which required minimal effort on his part. He allowed a smirk to cross his lips as he swept his gaze across the room at the exact moment that Rainbow Dash looked over in his direction. Their eyes locked, and he kept his smug smile in place whilst raising his punch glass in her direction, her eyes narrowed very slightly but she returned the gesture with a slight nod.

Al... What did we agree about deliberately antagonizing people?

Wesker's smile remained firmly in place. He was just grinning, that was hardly worthy of admonishment.

It wouldn't be Al... If you weren't…

He frowned once Rainbow Dash had looked away. Weren't what?

...Smug as hell.

Heh, that couldn't be helped. His personality had been long determined, and he was hardly about to change his very nature to placate some flamboyant, stubborn, argumentative mule.

Wesker was jolted out of his thoughts by an almost imperceptibly quiet voice. "I hope that Rainbow Dash didn't upset you, Albert." Fluttershy stared nervously as the blond earth pony turned to face her. "She didn't do it to be mean."

The former human pushed his sunglasses back up to the bridge of his nose as he spoke. "I am aware, Miss Fluttershy, but your concern is appreciated. I was merely taken aback and reacted unfairly." Fluttershy nodded in a meek fashion and looked uneasily at her hooves, seemingly planning to say something else. "Something to add, Miss Fluttershy?"

The quiet nature of Wesker's voice didn't prevent her flinch. "Erm... Well, I... It's just, you seemed so angry. I thought maybe Rainbow had really made you upset, and I didn't want you and my other friend to be mad at each other."

He rolled his eyes behind his mirrored shades. "Well, there's no reason to be concerned. I am fine, as you can see. It was an instinctive reaction, Miss Fluttershy. I acted in self-defence, and now feel foolish for reacting unpleasantly, and unnecessarily, towards Miss Dash."

Fluttershy nodded once more. "I understand, I just wanted to make sure you were okay." A brief pause ensued before the yellow pegasus continued. "Apart from that, how are you enjoying your first Pinkie Pie party?"

The words 'be polite' echoed through Wesker's head like a personal mantra; he couldn't let the timid pony know that he found it to be both pointless and childish. "I am enjoying myself, Miss Fluttershy. The punch in particular is delicious."

The pegasus gave a timid smile. "Have you had any cake yet, Albert?"

The male shook his head and gestured to the baked goods table with his hoof. "I have not. Lead the way, if you will." As they walked, Wesker was aware they were approaching Rarity and Applejack, who were also enjoying the cake. More importantly, however, he was aware that nearly every pair of eyes was following him, a perfect opportunity to endear himself to the locals. And so, the former human seized the opportunity. "This really is an excellent party, isn't it Miss Fluttershy?" Fluttershy nodded in reply as Wesker continued, just loud enough for the majority of Sugarcube Corner to hear. "It is incredibly touching that the whole town came here just to make me feel welcome." He cast a surreptitious glance around the area and saw that ponies were casting warm smiles in his direction. A rare few were even glancing in Rainbow Dash's direction, which he assumed could only work in his favor.

Fluttershy offered another shy smile in Wesker's direction. "It's nothing, Albert, in Ponyville we love to meet new ponies."

His lips twitched as he recalled his meeting with the shy pegasus. "Even yourself, Miss Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy pawed nervously at the floor as a pensive grin spread across her face. "It takes me a while to get used to the idea, but I still like to meet new ponies. I just get a little nervous at first."

Wesker laughed. "I gathered as much, Miss Fluttershy."

Further conversation was interrupted by their arrival at the cake. It certainly looked impressive; goodness knows how Pinkie Pie managed to decorate the entire room and bake a whole, treble-tiered cake within such a short timeframe. However, he got the distinct impression that she didn't exactly adhere to the traditional rules of reality... even less so than the rest of these ponies.

Rarity and Applejack gave warm greetings as the duo approached. The unicorn and Fluttershy began chatting amicably, and Applejack took the chance to turn to Wesker. "Have y'all recovered from your lil' shock?"

He arched an eyebrow at the repressed humour on her face. "I have indeed, Applejack… Should I assume you found it as amusing as Miss Sparkle did?"

The earth mare's face looked strained as she valiantly struggled to maintain a look of apparent concern. "Course not, Al! It was just unexpected and all and I..." Just then, her attempt failed and she began chuckling heartily. Wesker peered at her over the top of his glasses, patiently waiting for her to finish. "I'm sorry, Al, it's just that when Rainbow first popped that there balloon your face was priceless... before ya went all growly."

The male pony's nose wrinkled in distaste. "Please, Miss Applejack, I was not 'growly', nor have I ever been." His reaction, however, only appeared to fuel her heightened hilarity and she began guffawing with abandon. "I was merely surprised," he finished lamely.

After a short while, Applejack managed to calm down. She cocked her head to the side as she surveyed Wesker. "Do y'all call this surprised?" She then proceeded to pull a vastly exaggerated (in Wesker's opinion) face, mimicking the expression the blond pony had pulled before confronting Rainbow Dash.

He raised a solitary eyebrow. "No, I call it fabrication. That wasn't what I looked like."

Applejack nodded reluctantly. "Y'all are right, it was more like this." The demonstration of his facial features was repeated, but this time Applejack crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out. "Don'tcha think, Al?"

Wesker rolled his eyes. "Uncanny... like looking into a mirror, Miss Applejack."

She laughed once more. "Well, I certainly thought so, Al, can't believe we've ever had parties without y'all here."

Wesker smirked. "Indeed. It appears that I am fated to always be the life and soul of the party."

Applejack smiled mischievously. "Somethin' like that."

Wesker examined the cake at a closer distance. It certainly looked delicious, a consensus that many of the party guests appeared to share, judging by the numerous dainty slices cut from the baked colossus. Just as Wesker leaned to cut himself a small slice, Rarity stepped backwards from Fluttershy as she laughed at something the latter had said. The pure white unicorn nudged the table leg, destabilizing it. The next few seconds played out incredibly slowly to Wesker's hyper alert brain: the table leg folded and Rarity's instinctive attempt to steady it tilted the surface, sending the cake spiralling into the air, watched by dozens of open-mouthed ponies.

The former human, infused with pure adrenaline, launched himself full-length to catch the airborne foodstuff, steadying it in his hooves and inches above the hard floor surface. Concurrently, his eyewear flew across the room with the unexpected acceleration, landing perilously close to the punch bowl where Rainbow Dash stood.

He set it down carefully on the floor and let out a ragged sigh as ponies crowded around him, whooping and offering various congratulations. He looked up to locate his eyewear and noticed it in the grasp of the Pegasus he disliked the most, who watched him with wide eyes and a slack jaw. He walked...

Strutted Al, don't even try and deny that.

He strutted over and gently removed the sunglasses from her slack grip, mouth twitching as he did so. "That was 'cool', was it not, Miss Dash?"

An incoherent noise passed from the mouth of the pegasus as she stared blankly into space.

You did not need that ego boost, Al...

Comments

[_No_One_Remains_]

Epic Wesker Cake Catching Skills, Go!

[Morex25]

Wesker is epic at everything he does.
Was there ever any doubt?

[dragenfire68]

786783 yes by me

[Morex25]

788481
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m22jdjByCT1qjncju.gif

[Rainbow Sparkle]

788595
I was already laughing, but that image almost made me fall outta my chair.

[StatusQo]

Wesker > Rainbow Dash on who has most swag.

[Mr.Froboto]

for some reason the only thing i could think of hw saved the cake was moving super fast like his maximum wesker move in ultimate marvel vs capcom 3

either its that or he is just freaking amazing.

[Fighterx345]

903927 Oh holy fuck, this. I imagined exactly this, with Wesker's shades flying off as he flew to catch the cake. Unfortunately, I cannot mentally filter Wesker saying "YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME!" from the image XD, so instead, I have him shouting that in Rainbow Dash's face :P

[Impoxdragon]

1038817 I would've loved to see this in the Griffon the Brush Off chapter. Wesker still managed to do something to that extent.

[Dragon Turtle]

“Not an option, Al. Hooves can't hold guns.”

Not long after that, you write: “Their eyes locked, and he kept his smug smile in place whilst raising his punch glass in her direction…”

Do you plan on mentioning how ponies hold onto their cups? Wesker could do it with his incredible sense of balance, but surely his alert scientific brain would notice that the ponies are somehow “gripping” things, wouldn’t it? You don’t have to do so, as most authors skip that detail, since generally all of us readers have heard all the theories (including suspension of disbelief). But those sentences seemed to fly right in my face.

“…launched himself full-length to catch the airborne foodstuff, steadying it in his hooves and inches above the hard floor surface.”
“He looked up to locate his eyewear and noticed it in the grasp of the Pegasus he disliked the most…”

“…removed the sunglasses from her slack grip…”

Just some more minor details. Is Wesker holding the cake with his front legs while leaning forward on his back pair? Couldn’t you also have him utilize the back of his torso and neck? Also keep in mind that the show has ponies holding things in their mouths (especially earth ponies) and sometimes wings. Just keep in mind the options available to you. The ponies use all parts of their bodies, even tails (which admittedly doesn’t hold up, since they aren’t prehensile) because while still seemingly functional, hooves and fetlocks still aren’t as dexterous as hands and fingers.

[PonyTroll]

1130964

Dragon Turtle has raised valid questions these last few chapters. I was thinking the whole issue about ponies able to hold stuff was going to be waved away if it wasn't going to be mentioned at all, but now there is this explicit mention of hooves being unable to hold guns. You had better put Wesker to consider the ramifications of the use of hooves: after all, did he not read an entire book just fine? Why would he be unable to use a gun now?

[monkeyXtypewriter]

1732407 well how he will pull the trigger comes to mind. bit useless if he can hold the gun but cant activate it dontcha think?

[Citrus Solutions]

The words "Like a boss" echoed in my mind at the end.

[Mal Masque]

Gotta love the egotistic personality of Wesker, don't ya?

[DX-1118 C]

2265238 Ponies have telekinetic hooves. I think I talked about it sometimes in mybstories. Apparently, derpy is a boss at it.

[DX-1118 C]

1130964 Telekinesis. Ponies have telekinetic hooves.

[Dustchu]

Wesker and Dash, I need to see a pic of this :P

Nice work!