Chapter TwentyFive
Chapter Twenty-Five
*******
Justice sat at the base of a tall throne. It was one of six in a hexagonal chamber that once was a place of glory; it was plated with bronze and iron, sleek and shiny, while a glass globe displayed the latest as it hung in the center of the hall, suspended by magic. The thrones themselves were gargantuan, though they weren’t all created equal--they ranged from three meters in height to nine. It was from here that the Elements of Discord watched the world turn and turn, with all the information in the world at their disposal.
When Justice finally returned to it, however, after five thousand long years imprisonment, she found it decrepit and decaying. The polish and the shine had been replaced with rust and mold. The glass sphere that allowed her to see everything there ever was had been crushed and turned to dust. Only the thrones remained, but even these were falling into disrepair.
The shortest throne had crumbled to a third of its height. The fourth throne in the room had withered and was slowly approaching the same fate. The fifth throne had turned to dust. All of the other thrones, however, were still intact.
Justice exhaled. The battle was only days away, now. She had hoped that she would have been able to find something of use in this hall, but everything had been obliterated--by the traitor, no doubt. By the pony who sought to end everything she had worked so hard to gain.
Justice was not a fool.
“You look weary, sister.” Justice had sensed the presence coming, but she didn’t turn around. Deception had entered the hall, and she continued to walk down and sit just beneath where the Clyromore used to be, in the dead center of the sacred grounds.
“I have no time for your games, love. There’s much more that needs worrying about than you,” Justice said, turning her back to her sister.
“I fret for your safety, Justice,” Deception continued. “You are the master of an army that has been under your influence for weeks, now, and yet you still strive to challenge Harmony to a duel that you do, in fact, stand the possibility of losing.”
“Your end game here isn’t to make me go back on my challenge, Deception, that’s obvious enough. So that raises the question, what is?” Justice asked. “And your worry is wasted on me, dear. I run no risk of losing to the neophytes. Not while they’re one member short.”
Deception also slowly turned her back to her sister. “...Then I wish you best of luck. They have proven quite crafty.”
“With your help, sure,” Justice chuckled.
“Are you accusing me of something, sister?” Deception asked, staring intently at the sixth and tallest throne.
“There is nothing I can accuse you of, Deception,” Justice stated truthfully, “but tell me why the thought seems to take you aback.”
“Since you lack proof, I would have been surprised if you delved into the baseless conjecture that Harmony is so well known for. That’s all,” Deception said.
“That’s all? Deception, your simplicity knows no bounds,” Justice said, her gaze locked on the third throne in the room.
“I suppose it depends on circumstance,” Deception replied. “Your point?”
“If you’re in a simple mood, Deception, then tell me what you intend to gain from your actions,” Justice ordered.
“My actions have only been with your interests in mind, sister,” Deception answered.
“Only mine, not Equestria’s?” Justice asked.
“Your interests are Equestria’s interests,” Deception added promptly.
“Hmph. You seem to think rather highly of me, love. Certainly a change of pace,” Justice said, her tone getting increasingly strained with pent-up frustration.
“You also seem to be inhabiting a significantly younger body than usual. Also a circumstantial change,” Deception replied.
There was a long pause, in which neither party spoke. Their faces were expressionless, their eyes unblinking, and their breath nearly slowed to a stop. They were nearly as motionless as the thrones they sat on during the Times of Endless Dawn.
Then, finally, Deception said, “I have a list of priorities, Justice.” She stood up, not bothering to glance back at her sister. She paused for a moment, then added, “Self-preservation... is no longer on the top of that list.”
Justice didn’t respond. If she had even acknowledged what Deception had said, she didn’t let on.
=====================================================================
*******
A few days earlier...
The bar was lit up brightly and colored with drink and dance of all kinds, from the watered-down to the volatile and from casual back-and-forth motion to the fluid, feral movements of so-called ‘professional clubbers.’ That was all occurring in the front portion of the bar, the part that was kept clean and crisp so that the owners didn’t get sued as often when somepony inevitably fell over and broke their neck on the hardwood floor.
Olly was sitting in the back of the bar, which was characteristically dingy and gloomy, nursing the strongest beer they had to offer. It was about half-empty, as was his soul. Heh, I like that, he thought, taking another sip. Blegh, poetry. How bored can you get?
Ordinarily, Olly would have joined the dancers and probably would have had a much better time, but there was a slight problem with that: Every minute or so, they would twitch slightly and robotically transfer to where they were a few moments before, endlessly repeating the same fluid, feral movements and never tiring or alternating their routine. The bartender was perpetually wiping a spill of the counter, and a stallion opposite of Olly was chugging a mug of beer that never seemed to completely empty.
He was trapped in an illusion.
He had noticed this fairly quickly, seeing that the spilled liquor a dancer had clumsily knocked onto a table was never quite absorbed by the rag, yet the bartender never grew frustrated with his futile attempts and, with a slight tick every now and again, would continue mopping up the mess for what seemed like an eternity.
Olly had tried to escape as it dawned on him what was happening, but he found that if he moved from his seat, a few moments later, just before he got to the door, he would be sitting back in his stool, inhaling the reek that was the grungy back of an urban tavern. And no matter how much beer he drank, it would always revert to its half-empty level.
“Look, I know how entertaining my suffering is,” Olly said, glancing around for anypony not subject to the time loop of the bar. “But could I have the honor of knowing who’s keeping me on a leash.”
An earth pony stopped dancing, and turned to look. She was a light orange color, with an odd mane; it was orange and red, but the colors were in a sort of checkerboard pattern, forming sort of a grid along her hair. She slowly ambled over, and Olly watched her out of the corner of his eye.
“What do you want?” he growled, adjusting the strap of his eye patch.
“I want the truth,” the mare replied.
“Awfully ironic,” Olly muttered in reply, taking another swig.
“Oh? And why is that?” the mare inquired, taking a seat next to Olly. She was dainty and light, and her eyes were brimming with playful energy.
“You know what you are,” Olly retorted.
“...Fair enough. But your assumptions are only half correct,” Deception began, closing one of her eyes. When it once again opened, a harsh, black, daggerlike slit replaced her pupil. The other eye, which was so cheerful and happy, was now contrasted by an eye that was full of aloof interest and deceit. “I am also... a memory. I’m sure you know what those are like, if only slightly.”
“Want to join me in poetry? We can start right now,” Olly hissed, sarcasm dripping off his every word. “Why not just make an entire useless book on how we both feel, deep down inside? Because that’s really what I want to do right now. You know why?”
Deception tilted her head slightly to the side. “Hmm?”
“Because I don’t feel anything anymore!” Olly shouted. His horn glowed, and his glass began to vibrate before shooting into the air. He was aiming at Deception, but she ducked, and it instead flew into the bartender behind her. He didn’t even notice, and after a few moments, the glass reappeared on the counter in front of Olly. He tried to calm his breathing. “I’ve been here for hours, not having to eat, not having to sleep, not thinking anything, not feeling anything, not having to do one--single--thing!”
“And?” Deception asked.
“...And? And--!” Olly began, his expression an odd combination of a smile and a look of agony, “I like it this way! I like not having to do anything, I like not having to worry about dying, I like just sitting here, drinking beer, watching others having fun! And that’s--that’s--!” He paused, unable to continue.
“What is it?” Deception asked, her tone having never changed since the beginning of their conversation.
“That’s just so unlike me,” Olly murmured. “I feel... I feel like somepony is just taking away who I am. Just by me being here. Deception, what are you doing to me?” he breathed, looking up at her.
“I am finding the truth, and I am nearly there. Do not worry. What you have lost will be returned to you after you rest,” Deception said soothingly, raising a hoof and brushing some of Olly’s mane out of his eyes.
“Why are you even here?” Olly asked, pushing her hoof away from his face. “I mean, I know it’s your job to ruin ponies’ lives, but why mine?”
“The secrets of your memory, Olly, intrigued me. That was why I borrowed them, along with some others, for a short while. You are special, Olly, which is why your memories are a suitable substitute for the true prize,” Deception explained.
“Don’t be cryptic. You might as well say nothing at all,” Olly scowled. “What do you mean, ‘true prize?’”
“You should know. One of them has feelings for you. All of them would be upset to lose you. They are the keys to open the doorway to the truth, but you, Olly, are my... skeleton key. Yes,” Deception grinned. “You and your...” she trailed off.
“My...?” Olly prompted.
“The memories I used to uncover part of the truth will be returned to you shortly, as they are no longer necessary. I have learned what I needed to know from them,” Deception continued.
“Okay, great, but my...?” Olly pressed.
Deception smiled slightly before vanishing. The entire bar, in fact, abruptly vanished with her, leaving Olly plummeting into the darkness below with a final wail.
=====================================================================
*******
What do you mean, ‘sabotaged?’ Twilight asked Guilt.
What do you think I mean? he replied furiously. His expression, fortunately, didn’t match his tone; his face remained blank and impassive as not to upset Rarity, Pinkie, or most importantly Dash. I mean her wings were cut up for Hors d'oeuvre, that’s what I mean!
Twilight, unfortunately, wasn’t as good at hiding her shock and slight disbelief, and Rarity asked, “Darling, is something wrong?”
“Huh? Oh, no, Guilt just told me something... interesting about the way pegasi work,” Twilight replied nervously.
A small smirk appeared on Guilt’s lips as he played along with Twilight’s fib.
“I think I’m going to go wash my eyes out now. Be right back,” Twilight said. So how do you know it’s sabotage? she asked on her way to the balcony where Luna was waiting with the doctors.
In battle, injuries are haphazard, strewn throughout a body because the foe’s only real goal is to kill or maim. But these cuts--they are not my brother’s. They’re too precise, too methodical. Whoever did this wanted Dash to remain flightless, and it’s not like all that many ponies have access to the inside of Dash’s wings without her knowing. It had to have been the doctors, Guilt concluded.
Okay, but why? Twilight inquired.
I just told you why, to keep her flightless. I believe what you’re searching for is the ‘who,’ Guilt assumed. In that case, I’m afraid I can’t be certain.
Can you guess? Twilight asked.
...I don’t like to speculate, Guilt began uneasily, but in all honesty, the only one of my siblings who would be able and willing to try anything this despicable would be my sister Vengeance.
The balcony was wide, stretching along the one-way glass pane that allowed spectators to observe the surgeons as they worked. However, the vast majority of the five rows of seats were vacant, due to the only ponies allowed in being Luna, Aurora, and Dash’s first doctors. About half a dozen Royal Guard were present, guarding the doctors, the entryways, and the princesses, but Twilight suspected there were far more outside the main doors.
“Twilight? What’s the matter?” Luna asked upon seeing her enter from the surgery chamber. Aurora stood up, as well, seeing in Twilight’s eyes that something was amiss.
Twilight tossed a glance at the doctors. They hadn’t even seemed to notice her entrance, which was odd, but they may have just been intent on memorizing Guilt’s methods. Still, if what he said was true... “Luna, this is really important,” she began quietly, leaning in.
Luna nodded and whispered, “What’s wrong?”
“Guilt thinks that the original doctors sabotaged Dash’s wings,” Twilight murmured as softly as she could into Luna’s ear. “He says that they meant for her never to recover.”
Twilight cringed at Luna’s audible scoff. “Twilight, their families have been working with the Royal Family for generations! They’re loyal and possess unrivaled expertise, and moreover, they’re some of the most diligent, selfless ponies I’ve ever met in my entire, immortal life. What is your proof?”
Aurora, fortunately, stepped in to save face. “Maybe I should ask them the details and stuff. Y’know, see if they get nervous or anything. We can go from there, alright? Aren’t your guards trained to notice if somepony’s lying or not?”
“They are, but...” Luna shook her head, still unsure. “I guess it couldn’t hurt... Guard?” she called, and one of her dark-colored guards stepped over. “Watch Doctor Knocking and his cohorts to see if they show any signs of unease while Aurora asks them a few questions.”
The guard nodded, and discreetly trained his eyes on the doctors, who were still intently watching Guilt work on Dash.
“I’m taking your word for this, Twilight. I do not want to embarass myself in front of my staff,” Luna warned.
Twilight nodded, swallowing her anxiety.
Aurora walked over to the group of professionals and asked, “Um, Doc?” Dr. Knocking didn’t answer, so she tried again. “Hello? I need to ask you some things.” Still no answer. She walked around, using her body to block the doctor’s line of sight. “Look, Doctor, I know you wanna watch Guilt and all, but...” She paused. “But...”
Twilight’s ear twitched, her instincts screaming that something had gone horribly wrong. The guards shifted anxiously, glancing over toward Aurora.
“Hey, sis?” Aurora asked, her lip trembling slightly. “You... You might wanna come see this.”
“What?” Luna asked, though she appeared to already know what had happened. “What is it?”
“...Sis, I'm really sorry but...” Aurora swallowed, closing her eyes and turning away. “You’re going to need some new doctors.”
Luna gently pushed Aurora aside and looked into the doctors’ eyes. She nudged Knocking slightly, but there was no response. “Oh, no,” she breathed. “They can’t just be...” Snapping out of her trance, she ordered weakly, “Guards... send for our best mortician.”
The guards nodded, and a couple of them left to inform the rest of their ranks.
“Should we stop the surgery?” Aurora asked. “I mean, with Drammatica’s agents on the prowl, everypony’s going to know what happened in, like, two hours, if we’re even that lucky. There’ll be a mob!”
No, Guilt chimed in suddenly, making Twilight jump.
Stop doing that! she complained.
Guilt ignored her. I’m too far along to quit now. The damage caused to Dash’s wings is inconsequential, even though what it implies is troubling. I’m almost ready to begin the third step; to get halfway done and then have to stop would be calamitous!
Twilight swallowed. “Guilt doesn’t think stopping right now would be a good idea.”
“Without professionals watching Guilt, he could be performing the very same sabotage he accused Knocking of!” Luna argued. “I cannot simply take his word that is safe to leave him in charge of Dash’s life!”
“Then take mine!” Twilight retorted, taking an angry step forward. Realizing what she had said, she paused, and said with less confidence, “I... I trust him.”
Luna’s eyes narrowed for a moment, but she eventually said, “Alright, Twilight. But you will have to continue without me,” she stated. “I must attend to this disaster.” Then, with two guards at her sides, she departed. As she opened the door, though, she caught a glimpse of the mayhem and noise lying just beyond.
Aurora shuddered, glancing back at the doctors. A couple guards had entered and were carrying them off one by one. “I really, really hope I don’t get surprised like that again.”
Twilight bit her lip. “I’d better get back inside with Dash. Are you going to be okay on your own, or do you want to come, too?”
“She’s your friend, not mine. Yet,” Aurora added. “Anyway, yeah, I’ll be fine, hopefully. I’ll watch from the sidelines and watch to see if anything bad goes down. But you should probably get in there; Guilt isn’t known for his patience.”
Twilight nodded, then cantered back into the main chamber.
=====================================================================
*******
You’re just in time. I’m almost ready to start, and Dash is becoming antsy, Guilt began, brushing a hoof over Dash’s left wing. It twitched slightly as its insides were rearranged.
Dash looked up at Twilight, as if asking what had happened.
“Dash, don’t worry about it,” Twilight said, bringing a small smile to her lips.
Dash gave Twilight a slightly incredulous look, though it was tinged with fear.
Twilight squeezed in-between Pinkie and Rarity and looked Dash straight in the eye, cupping her face in her hoof. “Dash, please, just relax. Take deep breaths, okay? For me?”
Dash huffed slightly, but she managed to relax herself, shutting her eyes tightly. With all three of them here... I can do this. I’m ready for this! Bring it, Guilt, I’m going to show you how tough I am!
Guilt suddenly stopped working on Dash, then mouthed ‘Now’ to Twilight in a way that Rarity would notice. Twilight gave her a discreet glance and raised a hoof to her lips. Rarity looked like she was about to protest, but the look in Twilight’s eyes forced her to keep quiet.
Dash’s restraints suddenly tightened, and Dash’s first shocked gasp echoed through the silent chambers. She struggled slightly, but she was completely immobilized by Guilt’s tethers and nearly muzzled by his gag. Pinkie’s eyes widened, and she looked up at Twilight in shock, but Twilight simply shook her head, trying to tune out the muffled screams emanating from Dash’s frame.
The pain started as tiny pricks, then flooded through her like mallets smashing into her sides as her wings suddenly flared to life. The dull numbness that had assaulted her for the past few weeks was replaced by a burn akin to lying on a bed of hot coals. It was as if two nets of pure pain had been suddenly grafted to her back, radiating waves of pure agony that wracked the rest of her body.
After the first, shocked pain had receded, Dash felt several snaps. Her bones were being twisted and bent, slowly regaining their grip on her damaged apendages, but to Dash it was like her wings were being run through a grinder. She tried to thrash, to exert any amount of control over her situation, but the bonds only held her tighter. It got to the point where her breathing was constricted, and she felt lightheaded for a moment, but the pain slammed her struggling mind back into the ground.
She had experienced torn ligaments and wing sprains before, but now all those horrible experiences were being compounded into one. A complex web of searing acid flowed through her veins, burning her from the inside. She arched her back as the fabric of her wings was suddenly wrenched back into place, and she bit down on her gag in a feeble attempt to rid her mind of her agony.
The pain ebbed for just a moment, and Dash blinked the water out of her eyes, looking up at Twilight, Rarity, and Pinkie, searching desperately for the faintest hint of mercy. However, she only received murmured words of encouragement which did little to halt the gradual fuse she felt travelling up the rim of her wings.
It was as if she had flown into a waterfall. An immense pressure from above crushed her wings, and she felt woozy, as if she were hanging upside-down. Her vision was tinted red for a moment, then it all receded, and she felt cold. The icy chill numbed the sear of the pain, but not for long. Soon, it settled to an unbearable ache, like the pain of a broken bone.
She rested her head on the table, giving in to her anguish and letting it envelop her. It felt like a soft blanket, and as she slowly faded into the shadows, she felt the pain slowly release her from her bonds.
=====================================================================
*******
Dash’s eyes shot open.
She was back in the hospital, with the setting sun’s ever-fading rays coloring her sheets and bandages a cascade of orange and red. Her wings were just as bandaged and immobile as ever--but there was a startling difference: When she tried to move them, there was a slight twitch. A response, signalling that, by some miracle, they had once again been infused with life.
For a moment, she was unsure how to react. I guess... that’s good? She shook her head, trying to rid herself of her shock. That means... That means Guilt fixed them! All right! “Yes!” she exclaimed. “The Element of Loyalty is back in business!”
She heard a snort to her left, and turned to see Aurora sleeping on the couch next to her. “Hng... huh?” She shifted slightly before losing her balance and toppling onto the floor.
Dash stifled a giggle. “Um, what?”
“I’m awake!” Aurora said, wilding looking around, further matting her already messy mane. Her eyes locked on Dash. “Oh, jeez, I was supposed to be waiting for you to wake up!”
“Well, I just did, so you didn’t miss much,” Dash replied with a grin.
“Then let’s just keep this between us, okay?” Aurora grumbled, stretching her tired muscles. “Ugh... What time is it, anyway?”
“Uhmm...” Dash began, glancing at the clock on her nightstand. “Six in the morning. So, sunrise, I guess. Sorry for waking you up.”
“Sleep is for the weak anyway,” Aurora said with a grin. “Now lets get those stupid bandages off. I wanna see your new wings.”
Dash scooted up against the back of the bed as Aurora approached her. “Woah, woah, woah, wait a minute! You sure this is the best idea?”
“Guilt set you in bandages so that when you woke up you wouldn’t just go flying off without somepony watching you. Well, we all did rock-paper-scissors, and that somepony is me. So let go already!” Aurora ordered. “C’mon, get up! And close your eyes, too, so that you get to see your new wings, y’know, all at once, or something.”
“They’re not that different, are they?” Dash asked warily.
Aurora sighed with exasperation. “I’m not good with words. Just do it, okay?”
Dash slipped out of bed and did as Aurora said, closing her eyes while simultaneously allowing Aurora to slowly unwrap her wings like they were two big Hearth’s Warming presents. When she opened her eyes and looked at them, she didn’t see much different at first. They feel exactly like my old ones... Which, I guess, is the best I could have hoped for, in the end. But there was a subtle difference; when she looked closely at the tips of her feathers after folding and unfolding her new wings for the first time, she saw that they had orange tips instead of being light blue like the rest of her.
“...Orange?” Dash asked quietly after a forlorn pause.
Aurora saw the look in Dash’s eyes, and replied softly, “Orange is Guilt’s signature color. That’s all, okay?”
Dash took a long pause before finally saying, “Yeah... yeah. I guess you’re right.”
Aurora grinned slightly. “Hey? What about that race you promised me?”
Dash’s eyes lit up at the distraction. “Hey, yeah, you’re right! When and where?”
“No time like the present,” Aurora said, glancing out the window. “And I bet the wind is just right.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” Dash asked.
They both rushed out of the room, both of them failing to notice the unnaturally organized clouds that hung in the sky, as if somepony had placed an ominous halo around Fillydelphia.
=====================================================================
[Note]: I do not own anything in this story that already belongs to someone else.
This story takes place BEFORE season two, but AFTER season one.
Please let me know if a link doesn’t work.
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Poor Luna, can't go 12 hours without something going wrong for her.
Insta-featured even with the new system. You should be proud.
Yay! New chapter!!
I must admit I was a little worried when I learnd Dash's wings were sabotaged in the last chapter, but things turned out better than expected. 
A dark ominous cloud? Oh snap, I have a very bad feeling about this. 
Can't wait for more! 
1249668 Not only Luna. None of them can. There is always something wrong going on.
Really enjoyed this chapter, and I'm glad Dash is back to herself (if with slightly odd colored wings).
1249785
Yeah, Murphy's Law is being enforced to the fullest extent right now. Can't go ten steps without somebody dying, being crippled, or ending up a dead puppet...thing...whatever the doctors were.
Yay!
I know you'll somehow turn this around and freak us all out again.
Wait a minute... Could Olly end up becoming a vessel for Lorey's memories? Given this story, that seems like a distinct possibility...
Oh look. The doctors appear to be dead. What shall go wrong next?
PROFESSOR LAYTON MUSIC!? OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH
Ominous halo is ominous? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_unsuresweetie_flip.png
It's back in buisness!
When i started the chapter, it felt like i had forgotten most of what had happened...
But when i finished i felt completely refreshed, how does that work? Maybe a sign of good writing
Hehe I think I'm just gonna reply to every single chapter of G&H you release
Anyways,
wut?)
Nice chapter liked the fact that RD is back in buisness!
Little bit random that Dash her wings are orange but yeah. (My reaction to the orange wings:
Looking forward to the next chapter and I'm also liking the fact that Guilt is slowely becoming a sort of party member if you will
GAHHHHH!!!!! This story updated and I just had to be on a ship underway :(. Cant read without the music (cries). This underway just got longer.
(Later in the Story)"And then Guilt Escapes Filidelphia with the mane six",
. I Love these stories, always looking forward to having my Mind blown by a Trans-Dimentional being that isn't Pinkie Pie, but then again, you can't help but be mind blown when you're reading something from a far surperior being now can you? But why do I have this whole "A New Challenger Has Arrived!" feeling coming up? Wonder if it's just me, or if it's about to happen......
Most likely it's just me....
Coolio! Glad to see a new chapter! Good job! Dead doctors... Scaary. Exploited by the EoD! Kill the doctors dead!
“Don’t be cryptic. You might as well say nothing at all,” Olly scowled. “What do you mean, ‘true prize?’”
“You should know. One of them has feelings for you. All of them would be upset to lose you. They are the keys to open the doorway to the truth, but you, Olly, are my... skeleton key. Yes,”
Why do I get the feeling Olly is the timebomb that Deception will use to get rid of Dash?
Also, they should really get rid of Deception before trying to kill Vengeance/Justice, else they will end up at the same spot as Luna's group: all of them cheering and then suddenly Deception out of freaking nowhere.
Well I'll give you this, you ended this chapter giving me some really good feels.
As far as predictions go, I feel Deception has his own agenda in comparison to Justice. I am not so sure what to expect of vengeance at this point, so I will make a prediction at the end of the next chapter.
Also those thrones... I see what you did there!
P.S. I liked the Professor Layton music (even if I never played one of the games)
Moar G&H!!!!
Is justice vengeance? I think I missed that part. Plus, if they are separate , then there is an imbalance(as if there wasn't one before). Plus, and this question has been nagging in the back of my mind, why are the elements of discord still themselves, but harmony has to change bearers after 80+- years?
Also, about history written by the victor. While true, I thought even ex elements of honesty were supposed to tell the truth? Obsidian keeping something from them, isn't he?
I have been through 23 chapters so far and I hate this story: so heart-wrenching to read and yet impossible to put away... grr
You, have a hell of a talent with words. Damn good job, and I hope to see more of your work in the future.
So, I have finally finished reading. Here are my thoughts so far. ( I might add something later if I remember it. Yesterday I finished reading at 6 A.M. so some details might have escaped me.)
1 Drammatica. It is good that she was tangled into the main plot so quickly. If she was allowed to evolve into a separate adversary it might be too much (that and she would probably attract hatedom of Umbridge proportions). By the way, Arrogance remarked that that stuff with Dash wings might be her fault but Twi didn't ask for clarification then and neither did she connect it after the doctors dropped dead, even though Drammatica's name was mentioned in the same conversation.
2 Why is everypony so obsessed with Dash while Fluttershy is still in a coma ? (And we now learn that her lack of recovery might also have been engineered on purpose) Why hasn't anyone tried to enter her dreamscape yet? They should have done it long ago - the heroes to make her wake up before somepony decides to pull the plug on her and Guilt to look for what might have been left of his brother.
3 There is clearly, well ... discord between the EoD and I can see Arrogance turning against the others but definitely not getting redeemed. She may have a bad childhood sob story but that was thousand of years ago and now she is a villain who wiped out half of Equestria for cheap laughs. Leaving little kids alive to starve among the charred bones of their parents. Of all the EoD I definitely expect her to die a final death at some point, especially if she keeps using what is essentially her true name now as an invitation card.
4 Guilt is a cool, complex character. Intelligent, with depth but definitely still a monster. Though he lets spite affect his judgement. If he wanted to make a good impression for his bargain, wearing Big Mac definitely hurt his chances. Also, I still don't trust him. His story makes sense so far and he is no Deception but he does have 25 thousand years of experience in messing with ponies.
5 Discord. The draconequus vanished from the story after delivering the last criptic riddle. He is the last major player whose backstory we haven't yet got.
6 So, to be a perfect power source for the weapon, Twilight would have to not only achieve her potential but basically go avatar state? Speaking of which, it seems the loading chamber of the weapon is enough for EoD purposes of killing EoH beyond reincarnation. What would they fire it at afterwards? Something is missing here... unless Deception has really snapped and her agenda is one of those "put the whole world out of my misery" plans. She did say that self-preservation is no longer her prime concern.
7 Signature powers. I was a bit worried when the elements started manifesting mostly as multicoloured energy blasts. It turns out that they need to evolve to do other stuff. But Guilt's signature power was supposed to be mindraping ponies with a glance. What does a teleport power have to do with guilt?
8 Olly is no sleeper agent (after so much of bonding with EoH, trying to pull a Kira would likely drive him insane with conflicting emotions. EoD are too experienced for such a blunder. Even though he seems to have been an assassin before his amnesia.) I wonder what significance do his memories have
9 They have the source now. Isn't it the time to have Obsidian finish the flashback exposition so rudely interrupted 30-something chapters ago?
10 The conference was a complete disaster and it had to be - no true villain loses on their first appearance. But it could totally have been avoided. Twilight didn't need to summon Guilt, just remark that like Cylons, EoD can release their current body at will. If he wanted out, he could just "die" and come back in a new body. Also, I hoped against hope that AJ would actually save the situation by awakening - it would be fitting for the element of Honesty to have some kind of "dispel bull&^%t" area effect as its signature power.
11 Guilt being disgusted by the surgeons' sabotage as something beneath him. Considering that the last plan he participated in involved forcing the EoH to take care of a child during a dangerous mission, with the express purpose of getting it killed in the crossfire once they bonded with it, I find it a serious hypocrisy and Twilight should have called him on that. Also, did we learn who was shooting those energy blasts? I don't remember who has green aura...
12 Ressurection. Sweetybelle was initially a working ressurection but then part of her brain shut down. If it was like this from the beginning, it would be consistend with what we learned about necromancy. But an effect fading after some time? Perhaps someone experimented with her mind too? If someone was trying to modify the soul weapon to absorb already dead ponies for use as fuel, she is a pretty unique test subject. Also I am expecting her to die for good before the end of the story.
13 How did Twilight expect to fix Dash' wings? She didn't know the procedure Guilt used but she clearly had some alternative in mind (useless because of her lost horn) - she didn't suggest it later, despite of how gruesome Guilt's version was.
14 Deceptions' paranoia gambit speeches were getting tedious. It is good it turned out to be a fake. I expect more of her. What of Envy by the way? Bleach talked of her in past tense but only one of the thrones is completely crumbled.
15 What kind of sick parents name her daughter Bleach ?
A different theory about Sweetybelle. It was just like Twilight said - when you bring someone back, part of them stays behind. This part is whatever makes her stable as a living being. Now her life is artificially sustained and she is doomed to fade over time. Since memories are a form of energy here, she was ok while she was supercharged by Rarity's stunt but now her power reserve is dropping and they are the first thing to go.
IT HAS TO BE OVER SO SOON!
Your stories are the most engaging pieces of literature that I have read in a long time. I really hope that this story continues. You've had me at the verge of tears many times through your works "Guilt and Hate", "Envy and Arrogance", and "The Story of My Life" alike.
I registered on this site just to say that.
Comments on the Chapter?
I like the idea of orange accents on Dash's wings - they're like Guilt's signature, much like an artist would sign their artwork.
I didn't realize the extent of Sweetie Belle's current condition until I read some comments... and if they're accurate, then I'm crushed... The Crusaders are being picked off one by one.....
Ouch for Dash and the procedure, too... I hope she has regained total flight ability. Maybe her wings are even stronger now than before?
Guilt's connection to Twilight and the sincerity in his will to repair Dash's wings came as a uber-mega twist for me. Perhaps he isn't truly evil...?
good choice of music, it was fitting
i wonder when you're gonna look at the comments andawnswer anyquestions the readers may have without revealing spoilers
edit: CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This comment may be out of place, but I faintly remember reading in a previous chapter that an element of discord infiltrated the group, but it was never mentioned again. What happened to that? Am I just imagining this up? Did I misinterpreted something?
Can we get an update Mr. Hiatus?
still not updated, when are you going to get off hiatus
Note: This story is being rewritten from scratch. Check my blog for more information.
can i ask y it was cancelled that's just not right
1864330
Um, where exactly on your blog?
Damn... just as this was getting really interesting, it stops dead.
Good to know it's only being rewritten, though.
Not going to comment on much until this starts rolling again. I have to admit, though, this must be one of the most cruel and depressing stories I've ever read on FimFic. In a (sort of) good way. If most stories follow the formula of creating an arc where the middle/near end part is the "lowest point", then this story breaks this tradition by staying at a constant low pretty much from the beginning to the en- well, to this point. That is, unless it has yet to reach its true depths, which I can hardly even imagine, what with all the torment the protagonists have already had to deal with.
Rest in Peace
April 1st 2012 - 10th September 2012
May you find new life in Dissonance
To those that may be wondering where the story has gone, follow the link below into a familiar world, with time displaced but not the spirit, and the words on the page have as much power and will light a fire in your hearts.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/435265/dissonance-a-hidden-world