• Member Since 20th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 14 hours ago

jmj


All that I touch seems to break in my hands, then it just bursts into flames.

Comments ( 35 )
jmj

I really just wanted to finally include Babs in something. Maybe this will mark her first appearance and the next story will feature her as the main character. She doesn't get enough love.

3555683 Babs never gets enough attention. Fun story. I liked the twist at the end. Your stories are always great.

jmj

3555689 Thanks. I always appreciate your support.

This made me want some Wendys. Oh wait a minute! There's still some thanksgiving leftovers in the fridge!

jmj

3555700 I never need to eat again, sir.

This was... weird.

Liked and faved.

jmj

And story performed terribly. Sort of par for the course lately. Thanks to those of you who looked at it. If anyone else does, feel free to comment, like, etc.

jmj

3556383 Oh, thank you. I appreciate it.

And the turns keep coming. Loved the ending mate. Did you take lessons on plot twist from M. Night Shamalamding-dong? (Cannot spell his name, so I didnt bother to:twilightsheepish:)

while we're on the subject of ponies that get no love, would a horror-drama epic about Saphire Shores making dresses out of pony fur and skin be appetizing to anyone?:twilightsheepish:

jmj

3556460 Most likely it would, sir. It seems like a neat idea to me.
I thought this story was kind of neat and it originally was going to end differently, the easily predictable ending but I thought that it would make the story pointless, therefore, the ending that exists is what came about. I'm glad you liked it. You rock, sir. I appreciate your continued interest in my stories hugely. Thanks so much. If you are planning on writing that story and want to bounce ideas off someone, you can pm me, sir.
Oh, and I love your avatar.

I'm surprised this doesn't have a gore tag, but I'm actually not sure where the line is drawn.

This was an interesting story, for sure. I did not see those twists coming. A short and weird story. I liked it.

jmj

3556789
thanks. Yeah, I don't know either. I don't understand having a mature tag on stuff anyway for gore. I have never went into a book store and been stopped from buying a book because of the violence in it. Glad you liked the story. Thanks for reading it.

Hory shet. :twilightoops: I did not expect the ending.

I liked it, best horror I've seen on here so far, though I think it might have been a stronger horror story without the "happy" ending. The whole bodysnatcher approach is classic, and played straight it works just fine.

Kinda sucks for Scoots though.

jmj

3557604
I'm a big fan of Joe R. Lansdale. He's probably my favorite horror author right now. I would qualify his stories as horror mainly because of the subject matter. While many of them have the ubiquitous twist endings and typical horror tropes, he does a few that end differently. Survivors and "happy" endings aren't unknown in horror stories, it just depends on the point being made. This one was pretty much just that twist at the end. THe rest of the story is a build up for that. I like the unseen endings because you don't know exactly what is coming. With Cupcakes, we knew Rainbow was gong to die. She had no hope. As much as I like that story, it's ending was weak. Another example of a good horror author where the endings aren't always negative is Ambrose Bierce. He has a lot of stories that end on a creepy note but without anyone dying. He was a master. I'm currently trying to work up the courage to write some real horror stories. (non-pony) and try to get them published in magazines. I have several ideas but I just need to actually write them out. This is my practice field. I'm trying to hone down my style before submitting to the real world. It's strange though. I used to have a guaranteed 250 views on a story but now I'm lucky to get 60. I don't know what has happened. Is it less traffic on the site? Is it me? Is it the nature of the last 4 stories? I don't know. I've been trying to solve that riddle for a while. One person thinks that this fandom is nearly dead and the bulk of those who came to this site are now gone, and I must admit, I don't see but maybe 3 of the people following me commenting or fav'ing my stories anymore. Maybe he's right.

Scoots seems to always get the short end of the stick in my stories. Sucks because I think she's great. It just happens, I guess.

3558871

I don't think the fandom is dying. I think all writers settle into a... steady rhythm. My first story was a huge success. The rest went ignored, UNTIL I departed from my style and wrote the loudest, most random comedy fic in existence. Bam, instant feature.

As writers develop, they inherently tend towards a narrower audience as they find their voice. There's nothing wrong with it, it just shows that you're moving to more advanced material that's only going to be appreciated by a few. Also, many people watch an author then lose interest. So everyone's followers dwindle.

And I know what you mean by test field. Using ponies to figure out how to write my sci-fi in an appealing way.

jmj

3559824
I don't know, sir. It could be possible that the season 3 to season 4 gap was just a severe down time for the fandom. With season 4 kicking off, it very well could pick back up but I think there was, at least, a temporary droop. Although, after having several conversations with other people, the increase in clopfics tends to illustrate that many mainstream fans have, at least temporarily, left and left only those who find sexual gratification in this fandom. Or, that's the theory at least. Many other fandoms devolved in such a way as well until the pie chart was skewed in the porny category.

Kind of funny because those that I write for are typically not in the mainstream category.

What...the...FUCK!? :rainbowhuh:

jmj

3564983 Ah! Hello again! It has been a long time. I'm pleased to see you were confused and shocked by that story. I hope it was in a positive way. If not, thanks for reading anyway and I'm glad you, once again, took time to read and comment.

3565180 its in a positive way, i was kinda scared after reading it

A bodysnacher story? Probably my most favorite type of scary story with illness stories being a close second :pinkiesick:. A great story for most of it, at first I thought rarity/sweetie switched bodies or something. The graphic details were great as always, when they were eating scootaloo was great. Thanks for the line "Trap? Apple Bloom and Babs exchanged furtive, fearful glances to one another, each one thinking the same thing; plants don’t get caught in traps." btw, I often forget that ponies are vegetarians.

A few things though, A bit to short. I know short stories are most of what you write, but there are soooo many options I would have loved to read with this storyline. Instead of killing scootaloo, they do let her live(admittedly an idiotball move), and scoot is torn on how handle the new info. Sure they killed before, but are they really so bad? I mean fluttershy has animals that eat rodents, and who is scootaloo to say that they should starve? So unable to decide what to do, she confides her feelings/info on one pony she knows she can trust.....rainbow dash. Thats just one story, Imagine scootaloo deciding to trust rarity and sweetie not to be super evil, only to find them being eaten by babs/applebloom? AND AND AND! *deep breaths*.... did I mention I love bodysnacher stories :pinkiehappy:

Two things which leave me a bit confused however, since sweetie knows about the peep-hole, why would she do all those things in full view of it? At least fix it before taking off your flesh suit :facehoof:. The other thing is it seems that at the end applebloom/babs were planning to eat them all along? But that does not seem to be true as I recall them being supprised at when they were eating caught food.

Well that was a long comment. Overall another great story.

jmj

3568054 Ah ha! Hello! Thanks for commenting!
Bodysnatchers! I actually began without that idea in mind but thought it made the story a little more horrifying, although I decided not to actively pursue that line of thought. There are some problems in the story, I admit, mainly because I just wanted to write something and that was what came out. I usually spend a lot of time thinking about what the skeleton of a story is going to be and then flesh it out during the writing process but this was literally, "Rarity and Sweetie are monsters: GO!" The Apple Bloom/Babs twist was thought up fairly deep into the story I also left a lot of information out, hoping to infer it through character actions because going into a detailed backstory would take away from the pacing of the story. It could have been longer but I like to get in, say what needs to be said, and finish leaving readers to construct their own theories about backgrounds and things like that. For example, I thought I went a little too deeply into the real relationship between Rarity and Sweetie, where their roles are reversed. I probably could have cut it out but liked the confusion it left. Sweetie is Rarity's older sister and Rarity is really just a kid? I liked that, added to the masquerade.

Your questions given answers.
Sweetie planned on fixing the hole the next day. She put too much trust in Apple Bloom/Babs/Scootaloo. She did not think they would actively spy on her. Also, Sweetie didn't shed her flesh suit until Apple Bloom and Babs were with them, Rarity did. And Scoots only saw them eating meat but got caught.

Babs and Apple Bloom weren't planning on eating them until they knew what they were. I think one of the lines is something like "Don't get excited, Babs" which was planned in those words because it was meant to be read as Babs being afraid just after seeing Rarity shed her skin but it was deceptive because excited can mean other things. Babs was actually happy because Rarity and Sweetie were the "special" food she ate "back home" that Apple Bloom and her family rarely had. This is, again, inferring that her race did not eat ponies, but did eat whatever Rarity and Sweetie were. They liked the smell of Scootaloo's body but didn't know it was her.

And yeah, there was a lot more that could have been done with it but this story wouldn't hold my interest long enough to make a long story out of it. Look at Pinkamenace II Society. It's still not finished because when I write something, it's short stories. I try to write Pinkamenace as chapters that are their own little short stories but even that is tedious and I'd rather see something short and new.

Thanks for reading and commenting, I appreciate it.

Not bad, jmj! Not bad at all. I really liked how you reversed the roles of Rarity and Sweetie Belle and the twist with Babs and Applebloom surprised me a little. A few spelling errors, but nothing serious.

This was interesting, if you decide to expand on it I'd definitely be interested.

jmj

3569672 thank you, sir. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the comment.

How truly twistacular!
Chilling, and a bit funny at the end, I loved it!

That was bizarre, shocking, scary and I loved it! It's been a while since last time I read a MLP horror story and that was a good one to shake off the spider webs. Good job, sir or ma'am!

I am shocked and disgusted, not by the story, but by the fact that my "high priority" reads are still a month behind the posting date...

On to the story: 'Twas well written... I adore proper build-up of suspense and this executed it quite well. Although, is it weird that during the dinner I had a mental image of candle light with some smooth classical music playing on a record player, while they feasted on the body?

Moral of the story? Don't be Scootaloo

Is it bad I would have loved a fried scootaloo leg? But I think I would have wanted it cooked a bit more....

Ok have tp ask what were sweetie belle rariry apple bloom and babs i was guessing their aliens maybe apples were rarity apex preditors why the two took them. Down though what was rarity and sweety really i was thinking somwwhaf changlings

Reminded me of a certain show. Goosebumps I believe. Excellently done.

I remember this. Good memories

I hate to ruin the perfect number of upvotes, but this was fun. There was something so morbidly delightful about the gradual buildup to comparing food to their innards.

jmj

10820318
Thanks for the comment. Glad you liked it.

Login or register to comment