I was told that the pink one did something that defied all common sense. I’ve been to the Big Empty, I’ve seen things that just don’t make sense. Who in their right mind creates a building-sized warbot, let alone uses it? Really? Huh, guess things don’t make much sense where you’re from, either. What, really? No, you’re shitting me.
After the confusion with Pinkie Pie was wisely swept under the rug, the ponies present quickly assaulted the human with a barrage of questions. All of which were initially unanswered due to the language barrier. Princess Celestia couldn’t help but chuckle at the ponies as she set up a small translation field. In truth, she herself was eager to hear what he had to say.
“Calm down, girls, calm down,” she said serenely as the Courier flinched from the sheer number of questions being shot at him. “Forgive them, they are simply eager.”
“How are they suddenly speaking English?” he asked, sounding very confused. “And what was that radiation spike?”
“Princess Celestia cast a translation spell on all of us,” Twilight explained. “I guess that would explain the small surge in thaumatic fallout.”
“Well, it’s stopped, so I guess it doesn’t matter...” he muttered.
“I’m sorry, but how is thaumatic fallout relevant?” Rarity asked.
“Because, enough of that might just kill me.” The Courier paused, as though for dramatic effect. “If I’m lucky.”
There was silence. “If you’re lucky?” Twilight asked. “What could be worse than dying?”
The Courier chuckled darkly. “Sorry, but I think you could do without the nightmares.” He looked around. “Is there somewhere else we could go? Standing around talking isn’t exactly appealing.”
“Of course,” Celestia said calmly, leading the way to the rarely-used council hall that was attached to the throne room. As they followed, the ponies couldn’t help but wonder just what could be worse than dying. Celestia, though, had seen many beings succumb to demons, becoming prisoners in their own bodies, only able to watch helplessly as atrocities were committed. She shuddered internally at the memories. “Please, take a seat,” she said as they entered the room, the guard remaining outside.
The Courier took the closest one, looking a little strangely at the high back it had. “Thanks.”
That confused me. They didn’t need the backs to the chairs, but they there were. Turns out, they weren’t the only sentient animals. I know. I figured it best not to think about it too much. It kinda hurt my head. My brain agreed with me about how strange that place is.
“I suppose proper introductions are in order. I am Princess Celestia, one of the rulers of Equestria,” the princess said, despite having told him in the dungeon. “You have already met Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy and Applejack,” she gestured to the three ponies. “The others are Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Pinkie Pie.” They each waved a wing, inclined her head and bounced happily, respectively.
There was a brief pause as he took a breath. In truth, this was because the names were the strangest things he had ever heard. “Well, I suppose you’ve all heard that I call myself the Courier by now. My actual name is Thomas. I am from the Mojave Wasteland, more specifically the city of New Vegas.”
“New Vegas?” Rainbow Dash asked loudly. “What happened to the old Vegas?”
“Two hundred years of abandonment after a nuclear war,” he stated simply.
“You live in two century old ruins?” Celestia asked while Rainbow titled her head in confusion.
“We don’t have much choice,” he shrugged. “It’s either that or shacks made from whatever scrap you can get your hands on.”
“Why would anyone want to live in ruined buildings or shacks?” Rarity asked, clearly disgusted by the idea.
“Beats sleeping outside,” was all the Courier had to say on the matter. “And even then ruins can be deathtraps.”
“Well, they are ruins,” Twilight said. “That’s kind of what they are.”
“I mean that just because they seemed abandoned doesn’t mean raiders or giant ants haven’t taken up residence inside,” he countered. “The last thing you want is to wake up to some drugged-up whackjob slicing you open with a rusty knife.” There was a stunned, disgusted, shocked silence. “And no, that hasn’t happened to me. I’ve just heard stories.” That didn’t do much to make things better. If possible, it made things worse.
“Stories about...?” Rarity looked ready to lose her latest meal, Pinkie Pie’s mane had deflated, Fluttershy’s eyes were threatening to roll up into her head, Rainbow Dash was doing her best to hide all emotion, Applejack doing the exact opposite and letting her disgust and horror show for all the world to see and Twilight Sparkle had her eyes closed, trying to get her brain to stop conjuring up those mental images. “What kind of place are you from?”
The Courier took a deep breath. “I won’t try and sugarcoat this for you. The Mojave, it’s terrible. There are whole towns struggling to survive. Gangs that rape and torture for fun are common. So are wild animals that want to tear you apart for a snack. If you can’t defend yourself, you either pay someone who can or get killed.” He looked at the group, the only member that seemed completely unphased by what he was saying being the alicorn. “Walking along an old train track can see you getting mauled to death by things that belong only in nightmares. Or shot. Or held hostage. Depends on your luck,” he said with a shrug.
“How can you speak so lightly of this?” the Princess asked quietly.
“When it’s all you know, how can else can you talk about it?” he asked back. “The only way to survive out there is to be prepared, and able, to kill everyone and everything that wants to kill you. Something I am very good at.”
No I don’t regret saying what I did. They had to learn, the world is not sunshine and rainbows all day long. The fact that there were slavers operating two hours from a town is evidence enough.
They did not thank me at all. Hell, I probably traumatised all of them. Except the one with horn and wings. She seemed... sad, I guess. Not sure why.
The human’s tales of what he had to do to survive were disheartening. Death, murder and torture being so commonplace in a world was unheard of, even to her. She was saddened by what the residents of this ‘Mojave Wasteland’ had to go through.
“But...” Twilight said, her voice barely above a whisper, “what about the magic of friendship?”
“Friendship?” he asked. “Friendship... You ask difficult questions, you know that?” He went quiet for a few moments. “Making friends is harder than you’d like. Sometimes, it doesn’t seem worth the effort. But when you do...” A warm smile crossed his features. “You know you can put your life in their hands, and that they will put their own on the line to protect you.”
This went some way to making the ponies feel better. They all knew that they would do anything for their friends, and hearing that such things still existed, even if was to a small extent, in this ‘Wasteland’ he was from made them feel better.
“Where are all my things, anyway? I’ve still got a headache and I had some painkillers with me,” he said, looking around, abruptly changing the subject.
Princess Celestia blinked, temporarily stunned by this. “I can send somepony to retrieve them. However, I ask that your weapons be kept non-operational.”
“Now that I won’t agree to,” he said. He raised a hand as the alicorn tried to speak. “I know you’re saying that to keep the peace, but I am far from comfortable walking around in a place I am unfamiliar with completely unarmed without knowing what I’m getting into.” He looked around. “At least you didn’t hand them over to someone who has no idea what they’re messing with.”
There was an uncomfortable silence as the seven mortals in the room looked to the lone immortal, whose mouth was slightly open, wearing a sheepish expression.
“You’re shitting me,” the Courier said, staring at Celestia in disbelief. He stood up with an angry sigh. “Let’s go find them before someone gets killed.”
Author’s Notes:
And so the entire Mane Six has been effectively traumatised.
And someone should really teach Princess Celestia about gun safety, huh?
Fuck the language barrier! We have magic!
Well this cant be good.
Dammit Celestia, rule number 1 of dealing with an aliens weapons: give them to someone competent enough to handle them.
Is it really ao good fan-fic involving Fallout? PRAISE JEEBUS!!!!
to the chapter
whats gun safety?
I feel like someone is gonna set off a mini nuke....
"Fuck the language barrier! We have magic!" Yes! According to the Courier that also means "Fuck my life! You have massive amounts of radiation!"
"Finds the language barrier with a hole in it's head"
Another one bites the dust.
A great chapter my friend. Really enjoying the Contrast between the Courier and the ponies.
I'm gonna say those nightmare monsters you referenced were deathclaws.
And are the ponies ever gonna see/have a ghoul explained to them?
That would be mighty interesting.
Looking forward to more!
Bronies and Pegasisters. The living avatar of subtlety.
The Courier and his brain agreed on something? Wow.
Minor error. "It kinda hurt my hurt." should be head.
698816 It's making sure you only shoot the person you wanted to.
Several seconds later, multiple gunshots were heard from the room Thomas's guns were being kept. Apon arrival, half of a 12.7mm SMG clip was found in the gun, along with the bodies of 3 royal guards. Also, the walking along train tracks part a reference to Quarry Junction and Junction 15 railway station? Both have a large deathclaw population and are located near/on train tracks.
698848And luna with holes in her mane.
698848
But the problem with that is that the SMG has a suppressor. So what you just said would not work.
698802 I thought of it as a reference to the giant Robot Scorpion from Old World Blues.
698838 ike every one in the wastes right?
(also did you pick up on the sarcasm or no)
698886
Technically, it was both. The Courier (Thomas) was talking about the X-42 Giant Robo-Scorpion, while the as-yet-unnamed Lone Wanderer was talking about the nuke-tossing, laser-shooting, propaganda-spewing behemoth that is Liberty Prime.
698889 The Courier AND Lone Wanderer are both best pony.
698888 Yes, why else would I answer like that?
Fuck the language barrier! We have magic! So. Much. Fucking. Win.
Have ,, and a
Man I hate that the chapters are so short and I have to wait like 10 days for each. IT'S KILLING ME MAN! 1 SECOND AT THE TIME!
sir, you get a internet hug from me -hug-
698878 You don't know how suppressors work, do you? They suppress the muzzle flash, not the gunshot itself. To silence a gunshot, the gun would have to be able to fully contain the noise caused by a round being fired. The gunshot sound origionates from the chamber, not the muzzle.
and he finds them pointing a seqoia at eachother
Fuck Magic, We Have Thaumactic Fallout
i love this story so much, but i finish the chapters way too quickly to properly enjoy it. Im caught in a catch twenty-two.
698924
Just following what the game says.
That settles it. The Courier's talking to the Lone Wanderer.
...something that everyone else seems to have grasped at least a chapter ago...
Also: Ponies seem like they could be perfect for bringing disaster relief to the Wastelands. If, y'know, they get combat training and remember not to use magic around humans.
698924 Fallout physics are not the same as IRL physics. And if they can make plasma weapons, they can make an actual silencer.
699091
That too.
The logistics needed to make functional laser, plasma and gauss weaponry is nightmareish, to say the least.
699091 Thr physics and suppressors are no different than ours. Also, we aren't that far from plasma weapons ourselves.
Frienship = Magic
Magic = Radiation
Radiation = Death
Friendship = Death?
-Oh damn, it just hit me. What would happen if the Elements of Harmony ever touched the Courier?
Would he outright vomit his insides out *literally* or just die instantly?
699104 Oh you mean the physics of teleportation, easily cured radiation, portable laser machine guns, 200 year old edible food, nuclear powered cars with 1950's technology, stealth fields that work by attaching it to you arm, among others?
Fuck magic! I have Pinkie Pie!
699109
Flash-ghoulification, like what happened to Camp Searchlight, is also a possibility.
This is why being so close to the Princesses is gonna be a health hazard.
699111 Fast travel is only in-game, and meant to speed up game play. Actual in-game time passes depending on the distance between points A and B. Also, most of these things were invented about 60 years from now.
699118
Health Hazard? There should be an entirely new word just to describe how fucked the Courier is (Or will be) if he stands around them for too long.
699126
I believe he meant the Transportalponder...
699131 Over 250 years in the future.
699130
It's not a matter of duration but proximity.
He could be four feet from Celestia for a whole month and not have anything happen, sickness-wise. But put one finger into her mane and, well... You know how radioactive the entrance to Vault 87 was? (It can hit 3616 rads a second)
Well, triple that. (For those without calculators, that's over 10,000 rads a second, i.e. ten times the fatal dose)
She,,,
Gave the weapons to the guards... And didn't tell them how dangerous they were?
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/275/2/d/trixie_facehoof_by_theparagon-d4bk7gl.png
699206
Who said she gave them to the guards?
699211
You mean, she gave them to somepony else?
It wasn't Spike, was it?
699221
No, no, Spike's still in Ponyville.
As for who that somepony is...
Who has the weapons? I would laugh my ass off if they walked into a room and found Blueblood dead with a hole in his head. I am like that. Little bitch like he is...
699234
I'm not killing Blueblood off. I have something planned that involves him soiling himself.
699235 Ah, this I will look forward to.
698889 I want to see those robots fight one day.
The Courier and his brain agreed on something? Probably he didn't return his Brain, and now tell him all this story.
699267
Unfortunately, due to the Enclave destroying Liberty Prime, and the Courier similarly disabling the Giant Robo-Scorpion, no such thing can ever be done.
I do think Liberty Prime has the advantage, what with being able to leave the building confining him, along with being able to toss small nuclear weapons.
699407
You can take your brain out at any time. There's a chance he might have done that.
Hah, fuck the language barrier! BTW congrats on featured box.