Sweet Apple Acres: For Sale by Owner

by Velvet_Divan

Budding Hope

Chapter Ten

Spring had arrived, winter was wrapped up, and it was planting time at Sweet Apple Acres. Mac, Apple Bloom and I were loading a cart with saplings, bound for the west orchard.

I tossed another bundled-up sapling into the wagon. "Plenty of holes to fill over there. See if you can make that one fit, Apple Bloom."

Apple Bloom nudged it into a rank with the rest, making the best use of the space. "We'll have more apples than ever this year, now that we can get at the western orchard again!"

"Eeeyup." Mac avoided eye contact, settling himself into the wagon harness to wait for us to finish loading him up.

I tried to remember what I might have forgotten to do today that would have him sullen towards me again, before I realized Apple Bloom was peering at me, ears perked.

"Well, we'll get more out of it in a couple of years, once these young'ns are grown up. Ready to go put 'em in their new home, sis?" I closed and latched the wagon's rear gate, giving it a tap with my hoof to send Mac on his way.

Apple Bloom grinned, peeking up from the miniature forest of saplings, filly and trees swaying in tandem with the wagon's movement. "Sure am. Welcome to the family, lil trees!"

I watched them roll away for a moment, then headed towards the pump for a drink. I could catch up with them easily enough.

Winona barked and bounded along beside the cart for a moment, then wheeled and raced back to me, weaving between my legs. “Heh, just full'a energy t'day, aren't ya girl? It's a good day to be out and about.” I brushed a hoof along her coat as she shot out from beneath me, tearing across the grass. My grin dissolved as I watched her run. With every flex of her mended leg, there was a hitch in her gait. I rubbed my chest with an absent hoof, but it did nothing for the ache inside. She was well, but my pup wouldn't ever be the same.

I bent and worked the pump a few times, filling the bucket hanging from the faucet. As I guzzled cool water, my eye caught something coming down the road from the gate. Lifting my head and drying my chin on my fetlocks, I squinted against the sun.

"Tacks! Good to see you." I waved my hat at the mare, smiling as she cantered up.

The Manehattanite was dressed in a smart, snug blouse and business-like skirt. They both broadcast a professional air, but the subtle pattern of interlocking T-shaped tacks in the skirt material and bright brass buttons on the blouse kept the outfit warm and engaging.

"Rarity's duds look awful good on you. And where'd you get them fancy shoes?” I drew out the last two words, making a show of gawking at her hooves.

Tacks casually lifted one to give me a closer look. Brown canvas encased her foot, four simple button-and-lace closures keeping the shoe secure, but looked easy to remove with a bit of mouth-work. Patterns worked into the canvas shone with tracings of gold ink, so bright it seemed to flow through their delicate channels.

“Tacks, Ah do declare, you look ready to make everypony at the Grand Galloping Gala feel under-dressed."

Tacks waved away my words, and caught me up in a good hug. "Hush you. How're ya holdin' up, AJ?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Most days ain't bad. Had to change my meds again a few weeks ago, though. The side effects were just too bad."

"Like what, if ya don't mind me prying?"

"Anxiety, loss of appetite, and headaches. Ah can't really afford to not-eat, not with the amount of work Ah do, and anxiety on top of not-eating puts me right back on the path to burnin' another hole in mah stomach. So Ah've been stepping down the old stuff. Doc put me on something else last week."

"And?" Tacks prodded me. "Feelin' gloomy?"

"Ah'm a mite low on energy, and...” I scratched my mane before replacing my hat, “the days do look pretty gray. But it takes some time for the stuff to build up in your body. I'll give it another week before Ah start to get really mopey about it," I winked. "At least that whole tax mess went away, thanks in no small part to you. Word is that Princess Celestia's doin' some studies before they try puttin' anything like that together again."

"Heh, you're in much bettah shape than when we were sleepin' in yer bahn. Speakin' of," she waved to the barn and generally the whole farm. "Think you're gonna be okay on this front too?"

I nodded. "Ah think so. Most of the plottin' we did doesn't really bear fruit for awhile, but we took a couple jars of last year's zap apple harvest, with Rarity's labels, around some Canterlot boutiques'n markets. We got contracts agreein' to buy whatever we manage to make at four times what we normally sell for!" I grinned, lifting a hoof to 'shield' my mouth as I stage-whispered. "I even got 'em all to agree to keep a stack of Sweet Apple Acres tourism brochures to pass out."

Tacks whistled, and went for a hoof-bump. "Ya gettin' to be one devious businessmare, AJ. So y'just gotta hold on till da next zap apple harvest then?"

"Yep, and we can do that. This is the year we turn things around.” I hoped I sounded as confident as I kept telling myself to be. “Ah just...Ah hope we're still talkin' when it's over.”

Tacks squinted. “Huh? What, you'n me? Whaddya—“

I waved a hoof at her. “No, me and mah family. They've been, they've been great, y'know? But patience runs out. Even the strongest pony can only pull so much of the load.”

Tacks sucked air through her teeth, wincing. “You, uh, have a big fight or somethin'?”

“Nah, it's...the opposite really. Kinda ignorin' me. Ah wonder if he thinks by not lookin' at me he won't think about me, won't dwell on me, and won't get as mad.”

She brushed a ladybug off her blouse. “Have you sat down? Talked about dis?”

I shook my head. “Just been lettin' him be, seeing as how it seems that's what he wants.”

Tacks nudged my shoulder with a hoof. “As a sister, y'should know whether or not lettin' things stew is gonna work or not. Is it?”

“No. It won't.” I sighed. “Ah'll talk to him. Apologize. Get him to tell me if Ah forget somethin' 'stead of just taking care of it himself. Mac can be a little bit of a martyr like that. Anyways. How's business treatin' you two?"

Tacks accepted the change of subject with just a raised brow. "As Rarity would say, marvelously. Since she stahted carrying our shoes, she can't even keep 'em on the shelves. Since we coordinate with the outfits she makes, they usually sell togetha.” Tacks spun in place, letting her skirt flare. “We can't do that in our own shop a'course, but we can stock a greatah variety, an' Rarity promised to send customahs our way. Couldn't really ask for bettah advertising than that."

I grinned and shook my head. "No sirree. M'glad things're working out for you."

"Oh! Pinkie gave me this to give ya, since I was headin' over anyways." Tacks slipped an envelope out from the waist of her skirt and hoofed it over.

I tore it open and pulled a glitter-splashed card from inside, multi-colored letters inviting me to Pinkie's latest bash. Inside was a message, and a lock of straight pink hair tied to the left flap.

Applejack,
You're invited to my it's-finally-spring-and-I-can-switch-back-from-snowcones-to-ice-cream party! This is also a little experiment. If you want to come, like, really really want to come to the party, I think that means you're doing better. And if you do want to come, I'll know, and you'll know I know! Oh, the party is tomorrow night at six at Sugarcube Corner!

I tipped up my hat to scratch my head, puzzling over the hair in the card. I decided that yes, I did want to go. Home was safe, routine was safe, and I could usually count on my chores not to trigger any real blows to my mood these days, but... I wanted to see my friends. I wanted to catch up with ponies, drink some punch, play a silly game and get away from the farm for a bit, even if it meant I'd see somepony who'd give me an odd look or I'd overhear a mean-spirited whisper. Even if it meant a few more ounces of resentment from Mac. My friends were more than worth that trade.

As my decision gelled in my thoughts, the hair in the card convulsed, curling so violently it bent the card in half. I stared, then let out a laugh that hitched at the end, two tears pooling and sliding swiftly down my cheeks.

"You okay, AJ?" Tacks glanced down at the card, still open in my hoof. "Is that, uh, a ransom note?"

"N-no, Ah'm fine Tacks. Just real excited about a party tomorrow."

"Need some pahty shoes? I could hook ya up. Ya need all the help ya can get, freckle-face." Tacks pinched my cheek, and I swatted her, smiling.

"Keep that up and Ah'll make ya help with plantin' today. Doubt you'd stay in Rarity's good graces long after messin' up that outfit doin' honest work again!" I plucked at Tacks' blouse, distracted a second by the realization that the stitchwork actually changed between silver and brass with every other stitch. How in the wide world of Equestrian sports did she do that?

"Eh, dirt washes out. Race ya to the west orchard, ya whiny layabout!"

Tacks galloped off, and I scrambled to set the card atop a rain barrel, weighted down with a rock, before following. I reared up, hooves stabbing the air, and launched into pursuit.

Cool, fresh grass whispered beneath my hooves. A light breeze rolled over my coat. The sun soaked into me like a warm syrup. While I ran, feeling my blood pump and my lungs work, I reveled in my positive mental affirmations to go with the physical ones I felt.

I was worthy of love, my family and friends loved me, and I was good at what I did. These ideas were my weapons I wielded against the hordes of inner voices that plagued me. I had had to infuse those weapons with truth, to affirm them for them to be useful, but that hadn't been as hard as I'd expected. The evidence was close at hoof, after all, and I had witnesses I trusted to back it all up. Armed with those thoughts, it was far easier to come out on top when doubt, fear, and shame tried to pull me down into the abyss.

While I dodged trees and scattered leaves in my wake, racing through a patchwork of sun and shadow beneath the orchard canopy, I suspected that my future would be no different: a mix of light and darkness. Everyone dealt with both in their lives, but where most would run over a dark spot and feel a chill, as many of those spots were pits as they were solid ground for me.

It would be easy to give up, give in and hide away, but I'd refused that path. My friends had helped pull me back from that brink. I wanted to live my life, pitfalls and all. I had won this latest battle, and with the help of those I loved I would keep winning them.

I overtook Tacks just as we reached the wagon, where Mac and Apple Bloom had finished unloading the first few saplings. I watched my brother and sister light up at the sight of our friend, Apple Bloom a veritable sparkler, Mac the steady and subdued glow of a lantern.

They were so much more than I deserved, in a way, but I'd learned to accept it. I would do the same for them, give up my last breath, my last drop of blood to keep them safe and sound. Apple Bloom had grown up so much through my struggle, and that both stung and swelled my heart.

Tacks clambered up onto the wagon with Apple Bloom, and I hurried into position with Mac to catch the saplings they tossed down. Tacks' and Apple Bloom's teeth seized and released the burlap sacks wrapped around each tiny tree's root ball, swinging their necks to propel them our way.

Soil, a bit of sweat, sunshine, the smell of tree bark and fresh new leaves filled my head. I felt like I could work for days, high on a drug like this, riding the wave of spring's bright unfurling.

One sapling, whose slender branches described a T-shape, reminded me of a certain sign sitting unused in the barn.

"What do y'all say to a bonfire tonight?"

Comments

[Mad Maudlin]

Five quatloos on the farm burning down.

[Crimson Dawn]

I liked Pinkie's letter. I thought it was clever to show that Pinkie knows by having the hair curl. It is also so strange that it makes perfect sense for Pinkie.

[Morphy]

Eeyup, nothing as carthritic as taking that nasty For Sale sign and adding it to the burn pile found at any farm.

[Aatxe360]

I like this ending. Things aren't perfect, just good enough. And that's fine.

[Shadow_Wolf]

Eeeeeyup... gotta say this is a good way to end this story. I approve!

[Seraph_Of_Snow]

I gotta say I was listening to Raise This Barn while reading this and it just made it all the more glorious! I honestly love this fic and can imagine Applejack being even more energetic then Pinkie Pie when she starts dancing around the bonfire positively gleeful she would most likely never have to see a sign like that for anything other than Sweet Apple Acres products again perhaps even being able to use the Element Of Laughter for a night.

[Mayhem Darkshadow]

My god you broke my feels meter

i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png

[Velvet_Divan]

5335118 Thank you very much! I'm glad I could give your feels a workout.

[agentrenamon]

Love you approached this story so well, bring to light just how bad depression is, both for who has it and everyone around them. Genius work! It's going into the private library I have for my preferred reading material.

[Velvet_Divan]

5452606 Thanks for the kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Winston]

Great story.

I thought going in it would be a less personal and more external kind of thing, but what I found was much more interesting - a very compelling portrait of depression and the cascade of effects it tends to have on the lives of individuals affected by it. I'm glad I did find that, because these kinds of deeply personal stories are the ones I like to read.

At certain times as misfortunes kept befalling the farm I felt like they seemed contrived as artificial devices just to drive Applejack down further, and I worried about that, but with a little patience they all proved to be justified. These kinds of things really do happen, and really do break businesses, especially businesses like farms that are seasonal and depend on being profitable for just a small part of the year in order to pull through the rest of the time. Having to watch and feel powerless as that erodes would stress anyone. I think the exploration of how that hits Applejack and how one problem leads to another was extremely well done. This is a story that knew what it wanted to be about and it shows in a good way.

I had a few issues with some of Fluttershy's dialogue (some of it seemed to use 'um' too frequently or in unnatural places), and some of the scene transitions could be defined a little more clearly by adding more breaks and tweaking the formatting of the text a little, but otherwise I can't recall too many content or technical issues that stand out to disrupt my enjoyment of the story.

Thanks for writing this. It was well worth the time to read and overall I really liked it.

[Velvet_Divan]

6199347 Thanks for the thoughtful review, Winston. It did at times feel like too much was happening to AJ in one story, but I'm glad in the end you felt it made sense. One of the problems you experience when depressed is that the good fades into the background and only the bad stands out. Positive things did happen during the story's time frame, but they didn't 'stick' like the negative events, if that makes sense.

I had a tough time ordering some parts of the story, so I'm not surprised a few of the transitions suffered. Fluttershy is definitely hard to write dialogue for, versus Pinkie (unless you're trying to write Serious Pinkie, which gets hard again.)

Thanks again, and good luck with your own work!

[John Tannius]

An emotional rollercoaster. I almost couldn't finish it, it was that well written. I'm glad it ended well but not all sunshine and rainbows. Fighting depression is a never ending battle.

Thumbs up and faved.

[Velvet_Divan]

6249806 It was interesting watching you make your way through the story all at once like that. Thanks for the comments, and I'm glad you enjoyed the journey, harrowing as it got in places.

[Poly Time]

I ended up rereading this fic because i've been feeling pretty terrible the past few weeks. Gotta take days one day at a time, like Applejack is doing at the end of this fic. Thanks for writing this. It's stuff that I have to read and remind myself of every now and again.

[Velvet_Divan]

8671128
Hang in there. I'm glad you can find some comfort in this story. You have better times ahead of you, even if you won't be able to convince yourself of that at the moment.

[Kit Wolfkat]

This is a well written fic you got write here. Sums up my tastes perfectly!

[Earth95_Queenie]

I think I just realized that I'm 😔 depressed... yikes