11. The Family Name
Lost In The Herd: Four
Teacup
Down On The
Farm
By Chatoyance
Chapter Eleven: The Family Name
"Ah, Excuse me...Howdy there, ma'am?" The face was blurry and far too cheerful for how Teacup felt. Also the hoof shaking her awake was none too gentle. "Ah don't want to pry into yur business or nothin', but it's a mighty cold mornin', what with fall comin' on an' all, to be sleepin' on the ground like that. Now ah don't mind none, or nothing, but I'm a might worried that you might, well, be in some kind of distress an' all, what with sleepin' out here and such."
Teacup shivered. She was very cold, and her joints ached from sleeping on the ground. She tried to remember what the heck she was doing there. Gradually, her foggy memory cleared, and she remembered having wandered out to the edge of town, because she didn't want to face Petal. She hadn't wanted to return to their shared room. Somehow she had thought it was a good idea to curl up under an apple tree. After all, the day had been perfect.
Oh, yes... the Running Of The Leaves was coming up. The leaves had to be turned to autumn colors for that, and this required the pegasai to adjust the temperature at night so that the leaves would change. Teacup had been so preoccupied that she had forgotten about that. No wonder she felt so frosty.
"Ah, ma'am?"
"Teacup. My name's Tea..cup." She was still waking up, even if her mind was clearing, and her mouth felt like several raccoons had made an outhouse in it during the night.
"Well, beggin' yur pardon and such, I was wondrin' if maybe you might be hungry. We're fixin' to make some breakfast back at the farmhouse, and you'd be welcome to join us, if you'd like."
The pony was athletic for a mare, orange with a soft yellow mane and tail. Her mane was tied in the pony equivalent of pigtails, and had fixed her tail that way as well, so as to keep both from interfering with her work. She wore a wide-brimmed hat, and a friendly face. "Name's Applejack, this here's my farm. We grow apples, family business'n all. Glad to meet ya, Teacup."
"Um..." Teacup was having some trouble getting to her hooves; she was sore and stiff, and had just come to the conclusion that anything was almost certainly preferable to sleeping on the ground. There was also no denying that she was hungry; her stomach was making sounds like two Everfree monsters disagreeing over a potential mate.
Suddenly, she knew what she wanted to eat. She knew exactly what she wanted. And she wanted it a lot.
"Ms... Applejack?" Teacup was now fully upright, and much more awake "I'd love to take you up on your offer of breakfast! I live on a farm myself, down by South Withers, and I haven't had a good, down home breakfast in months."
"Well, shucks, we can take care of that! Withers? You're a long way from home, if'n you don't mind me sayin'." The two had begun to walk, Applejack leading the way through the orchard to the big red farmhouse just ahead.
"I've been on a long journey." Teacup was limping a little, but her joints were slowly warming up "Listen Applejack, I've got a really strong desire for a taste of my home. Back on my farm, we always ate biscuits and tea for breakfast, and our biscuits were special. They won a blue ribbon and everything. Could I make you an offer? If you'd let me use your kitchen, I would like to whip up a batch of those biscuits for you and yours. Do you think that might be possible?"
"You want to make us all biscuits for breakfast? Well, that's very kind o' ya, an' it'll save Big Mac and me a peck o' work, so sure, if'n that's what ya' really want to do. Can't hardly say no!"
The rambling farmhouse was big and roomy, and if not in the most perfect repair, had the warm, homey feeling of a place that had been truly loved. After being introduced to Applejack's elderly Granny Smith, and the appropriately named Big Mac, Teacup was led to the the kitchen. There, Applejack assisted her by bringing forth the needed ingredients and tools, and Teacup set about making Missus Provender's Prize Winning Biscuits for the small family.
As she stirred the bowl, a long wooden spoon in her teeth, Teacup's memory slipped back to her happy days on the Provender Farm, and she couldn't help a tear forming in her eye. "Somethin' wrong? Kin ah help?" Applejack had seen the tear fall into the batter.
"No, sorry." Teacup sniffed and smiled "Just remembering home. Your place reminds me of my farm, and I miss it a lot."
"Ah reckon' ah kin understand that perfectly. Ah always feel th' same, when I'm away from home myself." The orange farm pony stood close to Teacup, always ready to help with an ingredient, but mostly just to be friendly. Applejack reckoned that the poor white mare likely hadn't enough bits to afford a room, and being down on her luck, had been forced to sleep on the ground.
When the first batch was in the oven, Applejack set about the issue of tea. She had to dig around in the larder a bit, until she found the tea jar she knew was back there somewhere. "We don't drink a lot'a tea, ta' tell the truth, but there ain't no reason why we can't today. Ah don't know how good this here is, but it's tea, and it's what we got."
"I'm sure it will be wonderful." Teacup really liked her hostess, and was glad she had been discovered by her.
Soon, Teacup was bringing the tray of biscuits out of the oven, and the warm smell set everypony's mouth to watering. Nothing smelled as good as Provender Biscuits in the morning, Teacup thought, and she was happy to share this joy with her new farm friends.
Sitting down in the kitchen, at an old wood table, Granny Smith gummed her biscuit with approval, and the muscular Big Mac wolfed several down at a time. Applejack, for her part, was not faint with praise: "I reckon these here are the best biscuits ah ever done ate." There was jam and butter on the table, and the sound of smacking lips all around.
It was decided early on that a second batch would be a good idea, so Teacup was already mixing it. "Hey there, Teacup, you ain't had any yurself! Ah got a cup of tea here for ya, why don't ya set a spell and have some o' yur own biscuits an' let me finish for ya?" Applejack had gotten up and ambled over to Teacup's side again.
The smell of the biscuits had driven Teacup half mad from hunger, but she was determined to be good to her hosts. "Just a moment" she mumbled through the spoon, as she finished her mixing. "Actually, I am famished. Thank you, Applejack!"
Teacup leaned over the table and took a biscuit. She moved it to a little plate by her, and as she set it down, she bit half of it away, the soft biscuit resting on her tongue. She leaned over and took a sip of tea, the biscuit melting into the warmness. The flavor and aroma of tea and freshly baked biscuit completely filled her senses.
Suddenly her memory returned to Provender Farm, and Missus Provender was smiling at her, and the chickens were perfect and beautiful, the straw was golden like lovely morning, and the floor smelled of healthy wood, of summers past, and flowers and hay and happy meals of good food and much laughter. Every little thing, every smell and taste and feeling, every butterfly hovering over the alfalfa was wonder and beauty and a true miracle, and each moment a treasure, because she alone knew just how impossible it was. With that taste, with that bite of biscuit, she knew down to the depth of her being that not even Hoofington could compare, because she already had an entire world to compare her farm, HER farm to, and she finally, fully understood Petal's words to her, and also how wise immortal Celestia must truly be to make her wait one full day.
There was a sound. It was like air filling an empty space, a swirling sort of sound, almost musical, punctuated by a tone so definite and final that it could not be questioned. Teacup's right flank tingled, as though an electrical current had passed through it.
Teacup's head shot up, her neck rigid, her legs wide. She turned her head to the right, seeing AppleJack's wide eyes and the look of surprise on her face. Teacup lowered her view as she craned her head and curved her flank, already somehow certain of what she would behold.
There, on Teacup's flank, shining in the morning light, was the image of a teacup and two biscuits, a trinity of symbols that somehow she instantly understood, for they followed the sudden realization of her heart. In that moment, she knew that her very soul had been saved by a bite and a sip, by knowing that the price of her heaven was the memory of a long lost hell.
Teacup started crying, large tears rolling down her smiling face, and Applejack was going on about how she had seen it appear, and how she hadn't noticed that Teacup was a 'blank flank' and that she was really sorry for saying 'blank flank' out loud and was Teacup alright because she was crying, and Teacup had to explain that it was because she was happy, and everything became confusing for a while, but it was good confusing, and that was OK, it was better than OK.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Petal walked nervously back and forth in front of the library. She kept scanning the roads, and the sides of the lot for any sign of Teacup. It was almost noon once again, and Teacup was very aware that Twilight had spent the night making sure she knew just the right spell and that it would remove exactly the right memories, while leaving everything else alone.
If this was truly what Teacup wanted, then Petal would accept it. Twilight had explained how the erasure would remove selectively any mention or suggestion of Earth from Teacup's memories, but that it would not eliminate anything that had happened to her since arriving in Equestria. Teacup would remember Petal, she would remember going on their journey, she would know that she had sought to have her memories erased, but she simply would not know what those memories were. Any conversation Petal had shared with Teacup would appear edited to her; Teacup would remember having talked with Petal, and any emotions she had felt, but all details about Earth would simply be missing.
This had comforted Petal somewhat, since she did fear losing her friendship with Teacup over this. But Twilight had assured her that even if Teacup would no longer remember every detail of their time together, any feelings of shared joy or gratitude or friendship would be untouched.
Petal was about to go back inside the library for a bit when she noticed a familiar white shape approaching. The violet mane was unmistakable; Teacup was coming. Petal's heart sank a bit, for she knew that it was too late, but she resolved to be the best friend she could be, whatever happened.
Teacup stopped a few feet from Petal, in profile, showing her left side. She seemed shy, somehow, and looked off to the edge of the library, never meeting Petal's eyes.
"Petal?" Teacup spoke, her head lowered, her eyes half-lidded, a faint smile playing on her lips. "Would you do me a favor?"
Petal didn't know what was going on, but whatever it was, she had already decided what her response would always be. "Of course, Teacup. What do you need me to do?"
"I need you to take me back home, so that every day can remain... amazing." Teacup turned to face the other way, deliberately showing off her new cutie mark, and Petal saw the teacup and the two biscuits, and tears filled her eyes. Somehow, Teacup had finally understood, and Petal was so grateful that there would be no memory erasure today, or ever.
Twilight was strangely disappointed; she had studied all night and now she wasn't going to get to perform any fascinating new magic. She left in a huff, intent on finding anypony that might have some memory, any memory that they wanted to lose, if she possibly could.
And thus it was that Petal found herself back on the road, headed towards Provender Farm, with her best friend Teacup.
The journey home was made much easier thanks to a word with the local weather pegasus; she turned out to be yet another of the original ambassadors to Earth, and Spike was able to convince her to put the word out that two travelers needed clear skies to get home. It helped to have friends in high places, it seemed, even in Equestria.
Petal and Teacup stopped only briefly in Hoofington, just long enough to refill their traveling supplies. Petal was surprised that Teacup did not want to take in a show or stay a week or two, but Teacup was adamant; the harvest was coming, and she needed to get home as quickly as possible so as to help the Provenders.
When they finally reached South Withers, most of the substantial number of bits they had made during their first time in Hoofington were finally gone, so they had a simple, inexpensive meal, and begged the Toffee twins to crash in their home for one night, until they could set out down the very last road on their return journey; the road that led to the Provender Farm.
The next morning, they found themselves on that road, heading home. In the distance ahead, vast fields of wheat and corn lead to a small but cozy farmhouse.
"Petal?" Teacup's eyes searched the familiar landscape "Do you think Missus Provender...." Teacup's voice trailed off, and her ears drooped low.
"Missus Provender...what, Teacup?"
"Do you think... she missed me?" Teacup looked genuinely concerned.
"Oh, Teacup. You silly filly! - of course she missed you! She loves you, Teacup. Goodness." Petal stared at Teacup. "What brought this on?"
"Well, I don't know... I guess it's just been so long, and really, I AM just some newfoal she took in to work on her farm, after all." Teacup's head hung even lower as she ambled.
"Teacup, you are my friend, but damn... sometimes you just aren't the most aware pony I've ever met. It's frustrating, to tell you the truth." Petal shook her head.
"I know." Teacup raised her head and sighed. "Thanks for putting up with me."
Petal sighed in return, and then gave her friend a soft, loving smile.
Provender Farm was the same as Teacup remembered it, save that now the crops were full and ready. Mister Provender was the first to greet them, and the old stallion held Teacup tightly under his neck for a long time, pulling her tight against his chest. Inside the kitchen was Missus Provender, who, for the first time that Teacup had even seen, actually wept.
When all the fuss and tears and laughter of their reunion had passed, after the big dinner that Missus Provender threw together to celebrate Teacup's return, and after all the fuss over Teacup's new cutie mark was done with, Teacup found herself alone at last with Missus Provender. Petal was asleep upstairs in Teacup's bed, they were used to sharing beds by now when it was required. Durum had retreated upstairs as well, knowing that Cornflower and Teacup needed some time together.
Missus Provender made tea, and there they were, in the night, at the same table where Teacup had first received her name.
"Did ya manage to find a fix to yer... problem?" Missus Provender poured tea for the two of them.
"I think, after a fashion, that I did." Teacup felt so many emotions she had no words for most of them "Cornflower..." It was not often that Teacup had ever used Missus Provender's first name out loud. "I want to tell you about it, if you're willing to listen."
"Great Celestia, Teacup! All I ever wanted is for ya to open up ta me! I've been worried sick about ya for a long time." It was a surprisingly open admission by the normally reserved Missus Provender, but the real weight behind her words was in her wet, shining eyes.
"I was... afraid." Teacup began to shake with emotion. "I was afraid that you wouldn't really want to hear, I was afraid that what I had to say would harm you somehow, I was afraid...because..." Teacup's tears fell onto the table "...in my heart, you are the mother I never had. I...I love you. I wish you were my mother. I would be so proud if you were. I am so grateful you took me in. I'm so grateful to have been allowed to stay here, to work here, for you to put up with me, and I just want to be here, on the farm, with you forever, I just, I just..." Teacup just couldn't speak any more.
"You jus' listen to me, Teacup..." Cornflower looked down at Teacup's new Mark "Teacup....Biscuit... Provender! I expect my fillies ta come an' talk ta me about anything, that's what I'm here for. Your sisters never gave me this kind 'a trouble, so I expect ya ta just stop that kind 'a nonsense from now on. Ya hear?"
'Teacup Biscuit Provender!' Teacup overflowed with emotion and she had barely enough strength left to put her head down on the table, sobbing from relief and joy. The tea spilled, but with all the tears, it didn't really matter. Cornflower laid her own head across Teacup's back, a mother's embrace, and nuzzled Teacup as though she were but a foal.
Once they leave the farm, really leave the farm, they don't come back - Cornflower recalled her own thoughts so long ago - except sometimes, Cornflower happily realized, except sometimes, when they do.
The End
The Lost In The Herd Series:
One: The Big Respawn,
Two: Euphrosyne Unchained,
Three: Letters From Home,
Four: Teacup, Down On The Farm
The Conversion Bureau Novels:
27 Ounces: A story of eight and one half ponies
The Taste Of Grass
The Conversion Bureau: Code Majeste
The Conversion Bureau: The 800 Year Promise
The Conversion Bureau: Going Pony
The Reasonably Adamant Down With Celestia Newfoal Society!
Recombinant 63: A Conversion Bureau Story
HUMAN in Equestria: A Conversion Bureau Story
The PER: Michelson and Morely
Little Blue Cat
Cross The Amazon
Adrift Off Fiddler's Green: The Final Conversion Bureau Story
The Short Stories:
Her Last Possession
The Conversion Bureau: PER Equitum
The Conversion Bureau: Brand New Universe
Tales Of Los Pegasus
The Poly Little Pony
The very first and original
Conversion Bureau Group
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Optimalverse Works:
Friendship Is Optimal: Caelum Est Conterrens
Leftovers: A Friendship Is Optimal Story
IMPLACABLE
My Life In Fimbria
Injectorverse Works:
I.D. - That Indestructible Something
The More Conventional Fanfics:
The Ice Cream Pony Summer
Around The Bend
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A wonderful conclusion to a wonderful story. Fantastic job, Chatoyance!
This is an amazing conclusion to an amazing series. I'm sad to see it end.
...I'm sure I could find something to criticize if I tried, but I don't want to.
I'm no good at reviews of any sort, so I'll just say that ending was both satisfying and a good.
Finally, she gets WHY Celestia never offered memory erasure as a standard part of the package...the Regent of the Sun has a very good idea that her new little ponies might have pasts they're frightened of but that just makes Equestria that much the better. If it was all they knew, it wouldn't be special anymore.
I hope everyone enjoyed Teacup's story, because I sure enjoyed writing it for you!
Thank you all so much for joining her on her adventure.
This last chapter is more heartwarming than you think it is. Search deep inside yourself and put a big smile on your face. There! That's how happy you should be!
Seriously, you get better with every story. I enjoyed Teacup and Petal's journey of enlightenment and thought it evolved very naturally and believably.
17862
I loved the ending that happened with your story, I can't wait for more from you
That was a lovely end to a fantastic story
This was what they call a soft landing, with a lot happening in a short space of time, but I did thoroughly enjoy it. thank you
A superb story, and great closure to a collection of superb stories. Thank you.
17862
I keep coming back to re-read this story. It sums up everything that makes me a brony; it's why I described Equestria to a friend as the place that I'd give up my thumbs to live in, and you make that come alive. Thanks again.
_nice_.
I give the story an 8.5 out of 10. Good work, excellent character development, though I felt that Petal got a bit slighted in that department.
Please write more- whether it's TCB or just plain ponyfic, or whatever. I'm watching you, and I hope to see more soon!
19594
Not sure if you read it, but Petal Confetti's character was explored more in Euphrosyne Unchained.
This story was extremely interesting, especially in comparison to your previous Conversion Bureau works; we got to see that, sometimes, you have to earn your happy endings. More than that, we see that there is some value to humanity... which makes me feel a bit melancholy, because that was the one thing Celestia couldn't save. It's like one of the common arguments I've heard for why an all-loving God would give humans the capacity to do evil: because if they couldn't, the capacity to do good wouldn't mean anything.
46579
I'd prefer just being called human.
As usual, your stories take me in an emotional rollercoaster ride.
Wow that was a spectacular tale and I am very glad to have read it. Thank you! Your writing was excellent and I really enjoy your work with the characters in your stories.
I have to agree with Alerhys, I'd give up my thumbs to go to your equestria. You're ending brought tears to my eyes
. MANLY TEARS but tears non the less. I truely enjoy finding a fanfic writer that I can enjoy following. Keep the good work coming. So while I still have them I give this story 2 MANLY THUMBS UP!
Alright. This is going to be fun. I just started reading your works again (had only read the first two of the Lost in the Herd series before) with Midnight's new TCB compilation post on EqD. This post will sum up my thoughts on this story as I read it, as well as after, so I hope you don't mind the jumping around I do, the lack of flow.
Wow is your earth future bleak. It definitely reminds me of the world of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? So kudos for that, especially if it was intentional.
I do enjoy the different writing styles depending on which character is narrating, though. Not only in knowledge and perspective, but in the style of the writing itself, the phraseologies and voices of the characters. As the story progresses, however, it loses that narrative focus to take a more universal (or outside, I forgot what it is called) point of view. Not necessarily omniscient, but unfocused, not necessarily limited or unique to either character.
I thought the exchange in which Petal finally shares her feelings about keeping her memories (though action and example) was rather well thought out. Teacup's revelation is rather well framed as well. I commend you!
Oh, and what a perfect ending. It's sweet and heart-warming, but not too thick. She's so cute, too! . . I do apologise for not having any real criticisms for the story other than that little bit about the point of view, despite the fact that this is rather old a work of yours.
There was likely that level of emotional arousal, however, because I could very clearly related to both of their perspectives. I'm transgendered, and as I was suffering before and as I started my transition, I could not understand how anyone would NOT give up their current life to have been born in a properly gendered body, but as I gained comfort in myself and a sense of peace, I came to realise that it was my past that made me who I am today, and without it, there would be nothing special about waking up with that innate and oft unnoticed sense of rightness with oneself.
So yeah, I can definitely identify with both Teacup and Petal, and find it wonderful that you were able to so well represent both points of view. Thank you for that ending.
A manly tear has been shed
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Why can I only click the 'Thumbs up' button once? This story needs more likes!
Very nice story, loved it.
A very nice story. I very much liked the theme that to keep from getting jaded about Equestria, they need their memories of Old Earth as a comparison. Also I wanted to compliment you on your OC ponies. Their colorations and personalities fit very well with the established universe. I can easily see Petal showing up as a background pony in the show. Same with teacup and several other ponies from your stories. Plus the names fit the MLP naming convention quite well. Good job!
D'aaaaaaaaaaaw.
SO SWEET! I think I got a cavity from reading this.
>Plantain
>Dancing rabbits
Aaaaaand there's the little thread that ties your 'verse together. Thought it sounded familiar.
1109112
I am very dedicated to continuity. I am convinced that fantasy demands a rigorous effort to maintain consistency of both character and world in order to permit the reader to suspend their disbelief. Fantasy, even science fantasy, demands much from the reader, so robust continuity is demanded from the author.
Also, it is just plain happy to become familiar enough with a fantasy world that one can find familiar faces within it. It is like meeting old friends, and it makes the fantasy land seem like a place and not just an idea.
Well, that ending was exceedingly saccharine. Not to say it's a bad thing. Really enjoyed reading this.
Wow, what a glorious end to the "Lost in the Herd" series. I like how, for the unique storytelling device in "Teacup, Down on the Farm", you used multiple perspectives. While, at the start, I thought that the entire story would be between Teacup and Missus Provender while Teacup was learning how to be an Equestrian, but I think that your story arch of the painful Earth memories does a better job at addressing a major TCB issue, like your other stories did. I like the direction "Teacup" took and you made what could have been a typical "adventure story" and filled it with much more psychology and deeper thought that made it stand out and a fun and intriguing read. I liked how, with each person/pony in the series, you used well developed and researched language that helped establish each character (smart people/ponies like the Dr. from "Unchained" and Petal pre-transformation used highly developed and intellegent observations, and simpler people/ponies like Teacup and Wildfire made like observations). I throughly enjoyed this story and, for the series overall, the uniqueness of each and how they all added up to the conversion process was a truly unique style that should be looked up to by aspiring writers! Great job and thanks for the journey! (Now off to finish the "27 Ounces" series!)
That's our Twilight, all right.
Hang on. Did these two really just enter and leave Ponyville, and encounter four of the Elements of Harmony, and really never get a Pinkie Pie party?
Seriously, Chatoyance, Pinkie had better be waiting for them at Provender Farms or something. That just doesn't happen.
Well this was just brilliant. I can't remember the last time I teared up reading fanfic, but Teacup earning her cutiemark did it. Bravo.
3049582
Wow! Thank you Hammond. Hearing that made my night.
3049798
And your comment made mine!
I'M JUST SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW OK
That was so beautiful :') thank you so much for giving Teacup such a happy ending. I really needed that right now. I'm gonna go have a happy cry now before I begin 800 Year Promise.
3200236
When I was writing Teacup, I developed the most powerful craving for old fashioned biscuits and tea. I went out of my way to get them. The story made me hungry to taste them.
Now, I am left with a permanent love of biscuits and butter and jam and tea.
They say stories can change lives. I didn't know they could change tastes!
This is still one of the best Conversion Bureau fics, it's more of a "finding your place" story and that works in its advantage. The human world scenes are a bit too dark but eh, nothing's perfect, and it does have a positive view on humanity and human memories. Plus we get the canon characters coming by at the end for a happy twist.
That last scene made me so happy to see, I felt so relieved that everything worked out in the end and that Teacup was able to have something she couldn't have previously. I wish Teacup Biscuit Provender a most well deserving and fulfilling life.
3694816
Thank you kindly for reading my story!
This comment is an announcement of happytears and a declaration that this is the best of this series.
Now here we have a story that finally gives us a moment to relax. No terrifying encounters with Celestia thankfully, since Teacup seems to have adjusted well to being a loyal pony. Thank goodness for her. Can't say it's worth the risk to be anything else in Equestria. Still, her heart is torn because of the horrible things she's seen. Interesting question that raises, and I think I like the answer that we come to. Does being exposed to awful things make the person exposed equally awful. Ultimately the answer we seem to reach is no, it doesn't have to. Might give us nightmares and awful, fearful memories. Might haunt us.
It's hard to believe that Teacup's experiences are unique, either. Coming from earth, I can see many people feeling somewhat outcast and distant compared to the ponies, if for no other reason than they have lived another life in a very different place. A place built by people and not gods. Then again, I guess most of the newfoals go off to live by themselves away from the natives? Haven't read enough to really understand that part yet. But it has some worrying implications. Not that they ever would, but if all the former humans end up getting sent to carve a shack out of the dirt while all the Equestrians live in... well, not luxury as we understand it in the first world today, but Equestria's closest equivalent... I can see how that might make some of them feel resentment, and be a source of contention between them. Considering the exponential lands and their people would vastly outnumber the natives, that could be a real political problem one day. Celestia probably has a solution I just haven't read about yet.
Overall, I really liked this one, and it's positive message. That it isn't your fault you've been exposed to awful things, and rising above them makes you the greater. Besides that, knowing them also helps you appreciate the joy of simple life far more. That has some real practical application for so many of us, living in an imperfect world as we do.
Lost in the heard series is done. 6.5% of the way through. This pony still has a long way to go.
4173705
Teacup was based on something in my own life (everything in my stories is based on something from my life). In this case, it is part of the baggage of being a transsexual.
I lived the first 20 years of my life with every one treating me like a male, because, at the time, that is what I looked like. It was very horrible for me, and my life was a living hell. So much so that when I made the choice between suicide and transition, transition only barely won out.
After my transition, my life was vastly, overwhelmingly, amazingly better. Not right away, it took time, but wow, what a relief. In a very real way, I have lived the Bureau experience.
But, for many years, I suffered despite getting my body and my life fixed. I felt I couldn't talk about my experiences, even though they were the most amazing thing I had ever done (shapeshifting is... well, pretty intense!). I couldn't completely join in with the conversations of other women, because there were things that despite my transition I had never experienced... including a normal childhood. So, I fell silent, and felt silenced... and mute. I dare not be real, lest I expose my history. I feared ridicule, attack, and unpleasantness.
I began to wish, desperately, that my history could just vanish, that I could erase my memory, and just not be different anymore. I didn't want to be a trannie, I just wanted to be normal. If I kept my mouth shut, I could pass, invisibly. But if people asked me questions about myself, I had the choice only to lie, deflect, or refuse to speak... because the truth of my life was sometimes a problem to others.
Only after many years, and a lot of struggle and daring to just not try to hide anymore despite the risks, did I eventually come to the answer presented in this novel. Teacup and Petal's final decision was my own, and their reasons are my reasons and my experience.
In this regard, Teacup, Down On The Farm is a particularly personal book, because hidden within its chapters is my own struggle with being not a monster in paradise, but a freak to the narrow, and also being afraid - sometimes rightly - of the world.
Hee! Your tour through my works is bringing out the history of them.
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Well that would explain how genuine the whole thing felt. There was a seed of real emotion there I could feel when reading it, and now I think I understand why. Because you did feel it. Well, maybe not this exact thing, but... I can see how the one would give you perspective in the other. People say you can't write well about love without having first experienced it. This is the same way, I think. Save perhaps, that in our world there is no way to forget. An awful pain. I'm really glad Teacup figured that out in the end.
Added it to my Read later pile, as I haven't actually read this one yet.
this was a sweet story, I especially liked how Celestia handled it as well as the lesson that paradise means nothing if you don't have a hell to compare it too. or maybe I misread the lesson?
o well, still another good story Chat, keep up the good work.
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I would never say that paradise without pain is nothing - pizza is still tasty whether or not you have been suffering starvation.
But I would say that, sometimes, there is a compensation for the pain we suffer in life, in that it can make us - if we let it - cherish things more in general. While this is not worth suffering in and of itself, the small grace of cherishing the ordinary that others take for granted is a goodness, and a sort of compensation. Sometimes, it can even offer wisdom and insight, too.
And perhaps it is not a bad thing to find some value, some appreciation, some worth in all of this, to mitigate what suffering takes away.
4533625 You do have a way with words dear Chat. that does make a lot of sense. thanks for making it clearer for me.
And, I don't actually know what to say, I think everyone below has said everything. But as always a wonderful story, your stories are always some of the best ones, they are good enough to be actual books.
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Thank you, very much! You are very kind.