NBS: Golf
Carmine
"Right so you know what I'm gonna have to do right? Kenny?" Kenny cringed as I picked up his computer and yanked the cords away, "Damn...fucking...idiot." I muttered to myself as I hurried outside and threw the machine in my trunk. I closed the door and waited for the herd of ponies to walk down his drive and into my car, "Blood ridiculous."
Rose hopped over the seats and onto my lap, "What's ridiculous?"
I pointed over to the massive conga line of ponies filtering into my car, "This, I mean it's nice to see you all again but...this is just bloody stupid. There's like fifty of you!" I folded my arms on the steering wheel as the last ponies jumped inside. I reached over and pulled the doors closed, "Right hang on a tic." I found my phone with my right hand and let my left run along the pony in my lap, "Oi yo Sean, yeah mate, yeah. Right you still got the golf clubs? Great, bring the nine down to the mountain." I hung up and grabbed the steering wheel.
"Hey did I say you could stop?" Rose called from below.
"It was either I stop or we sit here for half a day waiting for you ta fall asleep." I complained at her.
"Hey don't act like I wouldn't be okay with that." Rose nestled into my groin. I ignored it and started off.
"Right well sorry missy you're not the only one in the bloody car!" I hurried off and started down the highway.
As I drove the ponies in the backseat started moaning at me, "Carmine I'm hungry," "Stop touching me," "It's too cold," "Can you play music?"
I jammed on my brakes, stopping dead in the middle of the road, "I swear to Christ above I will take you straight back if you don't stop!" Things got quiet as I hurried off again, "If you're good I'll find some fresh something."
"Oh...you don't have to-" I knew that voice. I started reaching back to the backseat and eventually found her, "Eep!" I scooped her up and brought her to the passenger seat, "Oh...okay."
I smiled and shook my head as I tried to focus on driving, "So...who else is back there?"
Rose crawled up my chest and looked over my shoulder at the back seat, "Hmm...no one you would know- Trixie..." She hissed at the back seat.
"Yes, it is I: the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
"Shut up Trixie." Rose hissed past my ear, "No one likes a pompous pony!"
"Oi be nice-"
Rose poked my cheek with a hoof, "You don't even know what she did!"
"I'm sure it was-"
I was cut off by a roar of voices from the back seat, most along the lines of: "She nearly destroyed Ponyville."
"Okay...still don't be mean." I plucked Rose off my shoulder and sat her back down in my lap.
"Fine." Rose sat across my lap again, "Speaking of Ponyville when are you going to visit?"
I nearly drove us into a stop sign as I pulled off to the side, "Okay, I really can't talk and drive. I told you I can't fit through my bloody computer screen." I started back onto the road.
"Well...find a bigger screen! I need a giant friend to help move stuff...and...enact my plans."
"Enact your plans?" I started laughing, "You got bloody plans? Are you secretly a Bond villain?"
Rose poked my legs, "I don't even know what that is, but it would be really cool to have a giant as a friend."
I nodded and hurried off, "True, now I really need to focus."
We pulled onto the gravel path and pulled up along side Sean, "Oi about time, so what's up?"
I got out and set Rose and Fluttershy on my shoulders, "Bloody Kenny and the bloody ponies."
"Oh Christ...how many this time?" Sean asked with a laugh, "Just those two?"
I gave a single rasp laugh and pulled the back door open, "About forty or so." The ponies inside started nervously waving as Sean leaned against the car.
"Fucking hell." Sean laid his head against the door jam, "So why the golf club?"
I took the ponies off my shoulders and handed them to him, "Can't let this keep happening right?"
"Yeah...right."
I reached into the back seat and pulled the computer out, "So we're gonna make sure Kenny stops for good." I hoisted the computer over to the edge of the turnout and lined it up. I went over to Sean's car and found a golf bag in his back seat. I pulled the nine iron out and took a practice swing, "Ya don't mind right?"
"Naw mate, go ahead." He was cracking up as I lined up my shot. A final practice swing and I made sure everyone was clear. I brought the club back and hammered it forward.
"Bugga!" I screamed as the club sent the cheap computer off the cliff, "Fucking hell I think I sliced it." I laughed as the case burst open on a rock and computer parts went everywhere, "Yep, sliced it."
"Oi mate, bloody littering." Sean laughed as he traded me the ponies for the golf club. I sat on my hood as Sean watched the computer tumble down the steep hill, "Phew! Damn, that's gotta suck." Sean walked over and looked into my car, "So you gonna send em back or should I?"
I had busied myself messing with the two mares, pressing them together and tickling them, "Huh? Oh right, no it's fine I'll see em home."
Sean nodded and sat in his car and watched me, "Alright bugger this I want one." He reached into my open passanger window and pulled one out, "I can't help it." He tugged lightly at the mare's tail and scratched her flank.
"Oh- how- crude!" She muttered angrily as her styled mane was ruined, "Ruffian!"
"Oh...hi Rarity." Fluttershy said meekly as I set her down on my left knee, "I didn't know you where here too."
"Fluttershy?" the mare kicked Seans hand away and climbed down his leg, "Fluttershy hello!" I lowered my hand down life a ramp. She slowly walked up my arm and sat next to her, "Do you know what's going on?"
While the two mares conversed I looked at Sean, "Right head home and I'll sort this out." He shook his head and laughed as he got into his car.
"Right mate, drive safe." He pulled back and hurried off.
This left me absolutely covered in mares, "Oi Rose do I smell or something, you all just can't get enough it seems."
Rose rolled her eyes and laid her chin down agaist my knee, "It's because you're big."
"Oh- kinky."
"Ew, don't say it like that." Rose commanded with a laugh, "Sounds like a creeper."
I made a farting sound as I started moving the ponies back into the car, "Sorry but I don't think it'll ever happen. You're a wee bit small compared to me."
I set the trio in the passenger seat as I started off. "Carmine you are a really strange thing. I'm really just glad you're not dead."
"Dead?"
"You got hit by a car right?"
"Ah...yeah, bloody rectum was speeding on a residential street." I grumbled angrily as I focused on the road, "Bloody arse."
Rose laid down across my lap, "Well just remember you should come and visit soon. It's been too long."
"It's been two weeks!"
"Two weeks too long!"
I gave a loud grumble, rubbing along Rose's body and driving slowly, "I'll think about it." I calmed down and focused on the road. First things first I needed to send this horde back home.
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Do it! You wont!
Reunion!!!!
I like it!
Time to use the the Jumbotron as a monitor.
Didn't you say you were tired of it? Do whatever, I'm not going to complain...
I like it.
As always, this chapter was adorable
Love how Rose grew so attached to Carmine.
Funny thing is that the only ponies in the Mane Six not shown in this story are Twilight and Pinkie respectively. No doubt the latter would cause too much trouble on either Sean OR Carmine
As for your question, look into your heart and you will find the answer
*Waits for a Mr. Burns-like reaction*
I'd love to see it but it's your choice
Ponies...
Ponies everywhere.
YES!
3777549
Yeah but I decided to just say screw it and write what I want now, it's popular enough I don't really care anymore.
Send him to ponyvile,
I think would be awesme
3777568
>Look into your heart...
Um, if he visited Ponyville how would he get home? I guess he would need someone on this side to open the portal for him huh? I was glad that Rarity finally made an appearance.
3777674
Discord probably. That is how they got there and back in the first place anyway.
I bet if someone got a hold of the hard drive they'd poke around on it and then it'd start all over again....
Always wipe your HD clean when you want to get rid of a computer! Or if you just want to smash things, take it out of the case (after the wipe, just to make sure) and then keep hitting it with a hammer until there it's all in pieces! Then nobody would be able to fix all of that.
I'm just stating all of this because I think the method they picked to destroy the PC isn't very effective for wiping data and the HDD of that computer is still intact enough for a curious person to get everything off of it.
Yes, but please, don't listen to your goddamn audience.
This may or may not include me.
3777988 Wait so I should listen to my audience then?
3778001 yes, but don't forget to ignore this post.
3777835 A fair point, but this was more about destroying the PC more than the actual hard drive. I did take this into account before hand.
3778005 MY MIND:
Instead of "looking inside yourself for the answer", just flip a fuckin' coin.
3778141
*Mid surgery*
Oh...yeah...that would have been easier.
Well, if he gets a big enough screen and gets to Equestria, he can meet the Princesses. And pick them up and pet them and generally disrespect their status.
Yeah, I'm all in favour of more chubby-evil-tiny ponies.
More please.
3778147
Need any help restitching?
3778306
*Flatlining*
Uh....naw, I should be-
3778312
*Poke* .... *Poke*
*Looks over tools* Well all that time in Surgeon Simulator 2013 should be somewhat useful.
There is no question if it should continue or not at this point. You started it again. So go on with it! Or dont. I guess that's always an option.
I was happy when I saw this. Continuation.
FUCKING YEAH!!!! MOAR!!!
if he uses a bigger screen the scale will be different! since, iirc, the program went fullscreen for portal mode. Of course, this assumes that the portal on the equestrian side is of fixed size.
By this logic, if he used a jumbotron somehow, he would actually be smaller than them.
of course, if the portal were of fixed scale, a bigger screen would just mean a bigger portal.
then the jumbotron would be big enough for someone to poke a crane through and yoink canterlot...
shenanigans!
yes. please yes. But, just write it how YOU want it. don't worry about others wants, make the story yours and let everyone else just come along for the ride. that way, you make it for you and hope that everyone enjoys. if they don't, who cares, its not for them anyway
Yes you should, it's interesting, maybe a chapter where he does visit equestria or does and they're all normal size, maybe he even ends up tiny compared to them there. It's your story, do what you like.
Y'know, for the briefest second, when I thought of golf clubs and tiny ponies, my mind went to a dark place.
And you shoud totally have them visit Equestria! Don't think I've ever read a HiE fic where the humans were pretty much giants.
when i looked at this.... i was like: what the fuck it was complete and now another update?
CONTINUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3777643
assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/clapping/citizen_cane.gif
It would be pretty funny if he got to Equestria and turned out to be the micro.
3777643 Amazing then, I really liked this story
I dare you! i double dare you! DO EEEEEEEETTTTTTT!!!!!!!!
MOAR!
Giant Carmine in Equestria? I would read that. Because shenanigans.
Also, the mental image of him petting one of the Princesses like a cat is just plain funny.
DO IT!
JUST DO IT ALREADY!
Hey man, just go for it. Just consider the size differences that a different screen could result in. I'd suspect using a 50" screen instead of a standard 20" one would result in different sizes. Course it's your story so you can do what you want.
3780994
You gonna start pestering me!?
3781313 perhaps.
I'm concerned that this might... venture into some rather sketchy territory...
3783052 Sketchiness approved! Proceed, dear author!
3783052 Elaborate