Spike's Drunken Spree

by MrShortcake

Round Up [Part 1]

Chapter 1: Round Up [Part 1]

Spike awoke to the intruding rays of Celestia's golden sun, however, today wasn't your average day at the Golden Oaks Library; today was the day Spike had been awaiting ever since his teen years.

However exciting today was going to be, Spike couldn't bring himself to get up. He attempted to escape the sunlight for 5 minutes straight; tossing and turning, time after time, only to be smacked by Celestia's over-sized star.

"Fine! I'm awake now! Didn't need sleep anyway!" Spike began to shout at the window as he sat upright on his bed.

It had been a while since Spike last shared a room with his sister/mother/friend, Twilight. Ever since his 13th birthday, Twilight and her friends had taken it upon themselves to build Spike another room inside of the library; he was a growing teen after all.

Spike looked around at his complete wreck of a room, which looked like the aftermath of a double rainboom. He'd have time to clean later, for now he had resolved to getting a breakfast started.

He began his trek downstairs, careful not to trip over the mountain of clothes in his room; sure he barely wore clothes, but he liked having an abundance, so that in the case of a fashion emergency, he would undoubtedly be prepared. As Spike began his stealthy walk down the stairs, which looked hilarious considering the dragon’s size, he heard movement, and the clattering of silverware coming from the kitchen.

Spike was a head taller than the tallest stallion, and had a difficult time fitting through doorways, even more so, being stealthy. His large draconic feet made quite the sound, clinking against the hard-wood floor with every step he took.

As he edged his way around wall after wall, Spike had reached the kitchen. He leaned towards the doorframe to be sure the noise was coming from that room alone. He presumed it to be Twilight cooking breakfast, or lunch, in the case that Spike slept in. To be honest, HE had absolutely no clue what time it was, all he knew was that it was sunny outside, and somepony was making noise in the kitchen.

The only thing that had him so on edge, was the fact that there was absolutely no smell coming from the kitchen, by now he’d at least smell burnt food, or maybe some toast, but no, nothing.

“… Twilight?” Spike’s gruff voice was all that could be heard, as it echoed through the library, and all the previous clatter coming from the kitchen had went silent.

“… Is that you in there Twilight?” Spike had began to get nervous, adrenaline pumping through him. He couldn’t stand the silence, so after a minute of inner conflict, he resolved to peek his head around the corner into the kitchen.

As his head rounded the corner, he was stopped short by a pie to the face. Startled by the sudden pie he fell back, landing on his tail and wincing with pain. “Ah!”

“Pie fight!” screamed a feminine voice that Spike immediately recognized, but before he could so much as lick the pie off his face, he was hit by another, and another. Pie after pie collided with Spike’s face. It was slaughter, and so Spike raised the white flag.

“Pinkie Pie, stop. Hitting. Me. With. Pies!” Spike managed to evade the last pie and ducked for cover. Moments latter, he noticed Pinkie had ceased fire. Believing that it was safe, Spike peaked his head above the counter, which he used as cover and he found himself, muzzle to muzzle with Pinkie Pie. If Spike was scared now, he would roll over and die from what was about to come.

In the manliest voice Spike had ever heard, and a soul shattering stare to match, Pinkie Pie whispered, “prepare your fields, because they’re about to be plowed.”

Spike should’ve laughed at the hilarity of this entire situation, but at that moment, he could only shit bricks. “WHOA, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

The pink party pony had decided that she had accomplished whatever it was she had set out to do, and dove headfirst into the last pie that remained untouched, without so much as cracking the crust. Spike was severely confused, but when you get to know Pinkie, you lose a little bit of sanity and learn to accept the impossible things that mare is able to do.

“Heh, at least I got free breakfast.” Spike took the pie off the counter and made his way into the living room of the library. He then took a seat on the floor, deciding he should eat this pie before something else ridiculously unpredicted happens.

He was too late.

Before he could take the first bite of his pie, he heard glass shatter above him, only to see a crazed light blue Pegasus with an unkempt dark blue mane staring at his pie. Spike recognized the Pegasus as none other than Soarin, co-captain of the Wonderbolts, and his good friend.

“Hey Spike… nice pie you got there buddy. It’d be a shame if something happened to it.” During that entire monologue, Soarin had not taken his eyes off the pie and had began drooling at the prospect of devouring said treat.

Spike already knew where this was headed the second Soarin burst through the window. So when Soarin began to menacingly walk down the wooden steps of the library, Spike knew he could do without the pie. So he then place the pie down, gently of course, in front of himself.

“It’s all yours bu-“ but before he could finish his sentence, Soarin had dived face first into the pie throwing all manners out the window he destroyed, “and I’m not paying for that window,” Spike said as he lifted a claw and pointed towards the window. After the pie had been devoured, Soarin traced the claw to see the damage he would have to pay off.

“It’s alright little dude, this pie was so~ worth whatever that window costs,” Soarin smiled reassuringly at the dragon, “and besides, I’m a Wonderbolt.”

“Yeah, whatever… anyways, are you ready for tonight?” A grin from Soarin was all Spike had needed to see.

“Yeah, I got the tickets to the club we’re going to. The guys said they’d be meeting us there.” Both Soarin and Spike were pumped for the night ahead of them, sure Soarin was nearing 40, but his friend Spike was about to reach the pinnacle of his life, and Soarin wouldn’t miss it for the world; that, and he was curious as to what kind of drunk Spike would turn out to be.

“Hey, what was the name of that club… was it the 'Epileptic Unicorn'? I always forget stuff like that, right before we go.” Spike couldn’t remember the name of the club the infamous DJ-Pon3 would be tearing up next. This was another thing he looked forward to; he had never seen her live, but Spike was a huge fan of Dubtrot, and the music the DJ produced.

“Yeah you got it little dude, The Epileptic Unicorn, it’s one hell of a name if you ask me. I heard that DJ-Pon3 was playing there next, so I thought I'd treat us to a little VIP section. One of the perks to being a Wonderbolt.”

“Well, we better head out and get the guys together, I’d like a little pre-party before we head out.” Spike began glancing towards the doorway, but was cut short as his stomach grumbled rather loudly. Soarin began to snicker, only succeeding in pissing of the younger dragon, “what are you laughing at? You ate my lunch, you dick.”

“Whoa, no curses kid, or I’ll tell Twilight on you.” Soarin said with a smug grin glued to his face.

It took all of Spike’s will-power to not murder him right where he sat, friend or foe didn’t matter, he was pissed. That, and he was a foot taller and far stronger than Soarin, sure Soarin could fly, but in a closed area he stood no chance against the dragon. “Alright Soarin, we should get going. Let’s go see Mac, maybe he’s done with his chores by now.” Spike said through gritted teeth.

“Whoa calm down, I was kidding. Anyways, let’s get going. As for Shining and Flash, we’ll have to trust them to show up. Unless you feel like walking to the Crystal Empire."

Spike didn’t have to answer, he just walked over to the door and held it open for Soarin. “After you.”

“Why thank you sir.” Soarin was the first out into the lively town of Ponyville. The pegasi had done a great job at clearing the sky, and so the sun was shining bright, as Soarin and Spike began the trek over to Sweet Apple Acres.

Author's Note:

Edited by the wonderfully fabulous, Auroric Shadow

He's my waifu, and I once again hope y'all enjoyed mah story. As far as the other chapters go, we'll have them edited in due time. Even if I owe a chapter to everypony.

Comments

[Daemon McRae]

Has potential. Will keep an eye on.

[ShagDragon]

It's isn't so bad that I can't read it, and I like the direction the story is headed in, as well as the character tags. I'll keep an eye on it.

[MrShortcake]

Yeah, I appologize for the grammatical errors and whatnot, but I'm in need of an editor for my stories. That, and the fact that I'm an artist, not an author.

[Mr mustash]

Oh man this is gonna be good.