Ditzy Doo struggles to earn a living and find a place to call home. But when she runs into trouble in Manehattan, and she chooses to leave, is it because she is running from her troubles, or is she chasing her dream?
Chapters (8)
- Member Since 21st Jul, 2012
- offline last seen 7 hours ago
97xxfastbike
I am not a writer, I am someone who writes. Her name is Derpy Hooves. Han shot first. Applejack is best pony, but Rarity has some of the best lines. I do ride motorcycles. Keep the shiny side up!
97xxfastbike
Joined 21st Jul, 2012 ·
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this is actually pretty interesting, and as some one who plays magic your sortof close on how it's played
Wow, even though I felt that this would happen, I didn't think it would.
3773684
I'm happy to hear I wasn't so off base that those who know those games would find it distracting.
I'm also glad you have liked what you have read so far, and I hope to continue to meet your expectations.
Thank you for your input.
3774065 Is that a good or bad thing?
Yes, I've been dropping hints along the way, but what happens next might surprise you.
3776883 It was just borderline cheezy, anyway, on the topic of the surprise. I'm guessing it has to do with Goldie or Ditzy leaving.
3777499 Well the next chapter is up. I had planned for Ditzy to leave after the scene in 'Shattered', but I felt that it was more powerful as a stand alone chapter. I had to work up the nerve to write 'Shattered', which delayed its publishing. If you have a constructive comment, I'd love to hear it.
I'm glad I could keep you guessing and interested as long as I had.
...wow
I did NOT expect rape, though I did expect foreplay which I'm guessing never happened. It's a girl and she names her Dinky. Also, a fucking whip?! Her god damn life is horrible man, I at least hope you felt bad writing this about poor Ditzy. I also don't remember what happened to Ponyville, or are you going to make her go there next?
First, Thank you for your story. You've done a good job with the characters and setting even if it's a bit dark for Ditzy's personality.
Second, thank you for your restraint in chapter 5, it helped make it a very powerful chapter.
As someone who is married to an abuse survivor I have had the misfortune to have had to hold a shattered person trying desperately to find any way to help them with the knowledge there really isn't anything you can do. It's nearly as hard on the holder as it is on the holdee.
And I appreciate that Abacus realizes what he's done but I also hope he can work through the healing process. Both parties had some responsibility and both will likely have life long consequences. I hope Golden will be able to accept them and carry through helping both of them.
4106517
In my head, Ditzy was never disciplined with a length of wire, but she was hit with objects. maybe a wooden ruler or dowel, flyswatter, leather strap... anything that wouldn't leave a lasting mark. She had to go to school the next day after all. But, Her mother didn't... Ditzy's opinion of stallions I have hinted at throughout this story, When they are angry, they cause pain. She was having an awakening with Abacus. He was now a young stallion and he wasn't hurting her. But when she believed he was going to be angry, she 'knew' what to expect. She wanted him to hit her with an object (and this may only a sub-conscience thought) so she could still think that Abacus wasn't hurting her. It was that whip hurting her. Thus, that is one of the reasons she freaked out when he started to handle her.
When I started writing this story, I never expected to be this dark. I feel pain for her, but it helps that I know how this is going to end. I'm not flogging this filly for never-ending pathos. She is in a really dark time right now because all good stories have the evil that must be overcome.
4109419
Thank you! This is such an encouragement!
I can't tell you how much this post of yours means to me! Especially after my own serious doubts, and then getting my first 'thumbs-down' without explaination. Before your post, I was ready to remove this whole story. (yeah, I guess I'm kinda thin-skinned) But I recognized that I had gotten far too dark for our beloved, eternally-happy, muffin-loving klutz. The story gained a life of its own. I never expected it to be this complex. But here I am, and I think it's a story worth telling. But it probably shouldn't have been Ditzy/Derpy.
Thanks for your feedback.
I appreciate your courage in relating your own personal experience with a survivor. No one has had a perfect upbringing. We all have some scars, either physical, psychological, or emotional. But being confronted with someone who has lived through hell-on-earth? I can't imagine how terrifying that can be when they need sympathy, or have to relate some horror so that they can heal.
My prayers are with you, and may God give you strength.
Did that griffon attorney get fucked over?
4336952 Mr. Coldwing will never allow himself to be left high and dry. You will see him again.
And so will the gray pegasus mare.
4339602 Damn straight there will be more of the grey pegasus mare! None of us would even be here if it wasn't for her!
4339608 I believe you misread my comment. I meant you to understand that Ditzy and Mr. Coldwing will meet again.
Read a fanfic called Bubbles.
4366139 Yeah, I read that some time ago. A truly awesome piece of work.
My goal with this story was to make Derpy a disadvantaged character that rises above severe challenges, but I don't have the talent or imagination to do my story-line if Derpy had a mental disability.
In general, I always identified more with the 'sad' Derpy than the eternally happy klutz. I actually started trying to write Derpy always happy, always optimistic, and I found it too unbelievable and Pollyanna-esque. Especially for the persons she is around all the time.
This story is my interpretation of this character. I hope to delight and inspire by the end, but for now, its kinda depressing.
I can't help but feel that those two are prostitutes...
4465450 Hmm. I didn't have that in mind when I wrote them. I just wanted two struggling actresses trying to make it in a very tough city.
What made you feel this way?