• Member Since 17th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 27th, 2015

Herr Director

I am ze Grammar Nazi. Zhat is all you need to know.


Bronium Chloride is one of the most gentlecoltly scientists in Equestria. That doesn't mean he is a good one. When he was first hired as an administrator to Princess Luna's Academy of Science, he immediately fell for his charge. As he delves deeper into forbidden sciences, and after one too many failures to capture the heart of the moon princess, he himself is captured by a demon and imprisoned in a strange dimension where survival is a very real concern. With the help of a past victim of the demon, can he escape the strange land and return to his love? Without starving along the way, that is.

Disclaimer: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro and Lauren Faust. Don't Starve is owned by Klei Entertainment.

Chapters (5)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 5 )

Due to me working on the Edward Lawton Chronicles, the wait for the next chapter might be a little bit longer that normal. :fluttercry: Aww, don't look at me like that...

First. Also yeeeeeeeeeeees a don't starve crossover :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: you deserve these

I think your off to a great start! And I'm off to the next chapter.

The hardest lesson a writer needs to learn (And I myself haven't fully grasped) id "Show don't Tell"
Phrases like

Bronnie hated hills


Bronnie didn't like berries very much

tell the reader what Bronnie likes and doesn't like. Instead try to show the reader these facts, I don't know, maybe with the bitter taste of the berries as it swam across his tongue or something.
This also adds that personalization aspect writing is famous for. You need to find your own ways of "showing not telling" and no two ways are alike (I think)

Hope that helps.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!