• Published 26th Nov 2013
  • 829 Views, 5 Comments

Avoid Malnutrition: A Don't Starve Crossover - Herr Director

In his attempts to capture the heart of Princess Luna, Bronium Chloride, a royal gentlecolt scientist, is imprisoned by a demon in a mysterious dimension. Can he escape, AND win Luna's love?

  • ...

The Gentleman Scientist

"Hello?" Bronnie yelled out. "Hello!" He ran towards the source of the voice, pushing aside the tree branches.

"Hello?" the voice called back. "Is someone there?" Bronnie ran faster. The voice was getting closer. He was no longer alone! Closer, closer, closer...

BANG! "Oof!" Bronnie fell back on his butt as something rammed into his forehead. Dazed, he looked round. The source of the voice, he soon discovered, was another man, who was rubbing his head with a scraggly hand. He had a big head, and scrawny arms and legs. He wore a reddish brown shirt with black pants, and he wore a backpack. But the most interesting and noticable feature of the other man was his hair. It was styled up into three distinct points. How much gel do you use? Bronnie thought as he studied the man. The man opened his eyes and got to his feet. He looked at Bronnie, confused, but there was an evil look in his eyes, as if he wanted to slice Bronnie open and look at all of his internal organs.

"Oh, a pony!" he said excitedly. "Must be a new thing Maxwell sent my way. I wonder if I can eat it?" The man took out his own axe. It glinted menacingly in the light streaming through the trees. He looked hungrily at the poor pony. Bronnie lifted up his hooves in defense.

"Wait!" Bronnie begged, "Don't eat me!" The man now looked shocked. He clearly wasn't expecting Bronnie to be intelligent, as to why, Bronnie did not know.

"My my," the man said in awe. "You talk." He put away the axe and helped Bronnie to his hooves. "Do you have a name, my intelligent equine?"

"Oh... it's... Bronium Chloride." Bronnie said, stuttering slightly. He did not know what the man's intentions were. Was he a friend of the other man? The bad man that had sent him here.

"Bronium Chloride you say," The man seemed to like his name. "That reminds me of the chemical compound I was working with before I was tricked into coming to this place. Anyways," The man stood tall, and struck a heroic pose. "My name is Wilson Percival Higgsbury, the most gentlemanly scientist in all of Britain!" Bronnie had never heard a name like that. It was a bit peculiar, but it certainly had a nice flow to it. Wilson looked rather sheepish all of a sudden. "Er... you have a camp don't you?" Bronnie nodded. "Good, can we talk there? My camp just burned down in a lightning strike fire. Curses! I knew I should have built a lightning rod!"

"Right then. You can call me Bronnie. Follow me now, Mr Higgsbury."

"Oh, please don't call me that. Wilson is just fine. None of that 'Mr Higgsbury' stuff, or, God forbid, 'Percy'. I hate that name."

Soon, the two arrived at Bronnie's camp. Wilson looked rather impressed with what Bronnie had so far.

"A Science Machine and a Fire Pit on your, what, third day now?" Wilson smiled at Bronnie. "I must say, you've made a surprising amount of progress in so little time. Why, I had my science machine up by my... fifth day? I can't remember, I've been here too long." Wilson was beginning to babble a bit. He seemed very happy to meet somepony that was as smart as he was in this world. "How did you get here," he asked. "No, wait, let me guess. Radio? Maxwell's voice? Forbidden knowledge? Weird machine?"

Bronnie was astounded. "Yes," he confirmed. "That's all right. How did you know. And who's Maxwell?"

Wilson sat down and motioned for Bronnie to do the same. "That's how I got here as well. Must be Maxwell's favorite trick. Oh, and Maxwell is the one who trapped us here. He showed himself to you when you first woke up, didn't he?"

"So that's his name." Bronnie nodded. "Why do you suppose he brought us here?"

Wilson shrugged. "I have no idea. His reasons are unknown." Wilson sat down and took a small hunk of... something out of his pack. It was a rather pinkish substance. Wilson threw some grass clippings he procured from his pack onto the fire. He proceeded to cook the substance. It smelled pretty good. "Want some?" Wilson offered a bit of the food to Bronnie

"Sure, What is it?"

"Rabbit. It's surprisingly tasty." Bronnie was repulsed. Meat? That morsel Wilson was eating used to be one of those rabbits! Wilson noticed Bronnie's discomfort.

"I'm sorry, friend," Wilson apologized. "I should have known you didn't eat meat. From where I come from, ponies only eat wheat, grass and carrots. But I've never seen a pony like you, so I thought it might be okay."

Now Bronnie was conflicted. He didn't have any food, and that rabbit was actually starting to look tasty. I'm going to regret this, Bronnie thought as he looked at the little morsel. "You know what," he started. "I'll keep an open mind. Give me a piece." Wilson obliged and gave Bronnie a small section of the morsel. Here goes nothing, Bronnie thought as he lifted the chunk of meat into his mouth and began to chew.

Oh sweet Celestia, why didn't I try this sooner! Bronnie loved the taste of the Rabbit meat. Due to his flat teeth made for crushing vegetables, the meat was hard to chew, and felt a little unpleasant going down, but that taste was rather heavenly. It's surprising how quickly one's morals go out the window once their survival is at stake.

"It's good, isn't it?" Wilson asked, but Bronnie's face told him the answer. When Bronnie had swallowed all the meat, he spoke.

"It's the best I've had for a long time. How do I catch those rabbits?"

"Seeing as it's almost dusk, we'll take care of that tomorrow. Why don't you sleep first." Wilson offered. The two began to put some wood on the fire.

"I can't sleep," Bronnie replied. "I keep hearing voices in the middle of the night, and they keep me awake." As usual, Wilson had the solution.

"Your logical reasoning and security must be deteriorating, yes?" Wilson diagnosed. "Then you need to pick some flowers in the morning. I find it very calming to the nerves." With that, Wilson lied down onto the grass. "You can stay up for the night, right?"

Bronnie nodded. "Yeah, no problem." And then the gentleman scientist fell asleep, while Bronnie stayed up and kept watch for the two.

The night was uneventful. Cold, but uneventful all the same. Wilson woke up and yawned.

"Morning Bronnie!" he said with a smile. Bronnie looked over at him.

"Yeah." he mumbled. The lack of sleep was really starting to affect him.

Wilson picked up on this. "Hey, go out and pick, like twelve flowers, and bring the petals to me." he said. Bronnie went to the grasslands and looked around until he had picked twelve flowers. He brought the petals back to Wilson, who weaved them into a sort of a crown of petals.

"This is a garland," he explained. "It calms the nerves and soothes the senses." Bronnie put on the garland. It seemed kind of girly, but it did smell nice, so that was a plus. Strangely enough, he did feel much calmer with the garland on. The longer he wore it, the better he felt.

"Now let me show you how to make a trap for rabbits." Wilson took a few grass clippings and some sticks. He showed Bronnie how to make them into a sort of stick and box trap. "It is a fairly simple preface." Wilson explained. "You place the bait under the box and prop it up with the stick. When the rabbit gets the bait, it knocks over the stick, the box comes down, and hello dinner! Now do you have a carrot?" Bronnie passed Wilson an extra carrot. "I'm not a big fan of vegetables, so I use my carrots for bait. Now let's catch a rabbit!"

The two scientists went down to the savanna. Wilson set up the trap near a rabbit hole and put the carrot under it. The two ran off a short distance and watched as one curious rabbit hopped up to the carrot hesitantly. He poked his head under the box and went for the carrot, knocking over the stick and trapping him inside.

"Yes!" Wilson pumped his fist into the air. "Works every time!" They went to the trap and retrieved the little rabbit. Wilson showed Bronnie how to kill the rabbit and get the meat. It took a few vomit breaks for Bronnie, but eventually he could do it himself without much trouble.

That night, the two feasted on berries and rabbit, which went rather good together. Wilson insisted that Bronnie sleep the entire night, which Bronnie was happy to do, seeing as he had gone four days now without sleep. He reflected briefly on his new friend. He was a quirky character to be sure, but his knowledge of this world would prove invaluable to Bronnie. Bronnie fell into the blissful depths of sleep, one he had not experienced for four days.

He woke up on a small island. Instead of grass or sand, there was a marble checkerboard floor. The Island was barren, and all that was beyond was seemingly endless ocean. Bronnie sat on his haunches and twiddled his metaphorical thumbs. A minute later, he got a surprise visitor

"Well, well, well," The hollow voice of Maxwell flowed through the air. Bronnie turned around. The man stood behind him, in his same dapper suit, with his same cocky grin. "You seem to be holding up rather well so far." Bronnie said nothing, in fact he couldn't say anything. Maxwell must have been using some kind of magic on him. "That"s right pal, I'm shutting you up for now, don't look so worried." Maxwell walked up to Bronnie who started to quake in his hooves. "Is somepony nervous?" Maxwell taunted. He tapped Bronnie's garland. "Don't be silly, how could one be nervous with such a beautiful crown like that?" He laughed. "Hail to the king. Oh that's me!" He became a bit more somber now. "I apologize pal, I didn't come all the way out here to mock you." Maxwell sighed. "I wanted to check on your progress, and you are doing well than most, I give you that. But I assure you, things are not going to get any easier from here, pal." He paused. "It's rather fortunate that you met Mr. Higgsbury, rather than one of my other guests. Oh I can just see you and Woodie." Another short chuckle by the demon. "But I digress. Tread carefully now, pal. You never know what I might throw at you next. Ha ha ha ha!" Maxwell disappeared, along with the island as Bronnie woke up

Author's Note:

Truthfully, I'm not sure what I'm gonna have Wilson and Bronnie do now. Maxwell is better at this than I am. Leave suggestions in the comments, and I'll work form there.

Don't Starve!

-Herr Director

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