• Published 26th Nov 2013
  • 829 Views, 5 Comments

Avoid Malnutrition: A Don't Starve Crossover - Herr Director



In his attempts to capture the heart of Princess Luna, Bronium Chloride, a royal gentlecolt scientist, is imprisoned by a demon in a mysterious dimension. Can he escape, AND win Luna's love?

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There's Always Time for Science

It was Bronnie's second day in the strange land. First off, he needed to get more food before he ventured into the savanna. Bronnie went back to the grassland to stock up. Most of the berry bushes were already picked over, but he managed to scramble together a few hoof fulls. There was also a large bird that came by and ate some of his berries, but he managed to chase it away into the forest. He came across some strange looking rabbits that screeched and ran back to their holes when he got too close. At last, he came across something planted in the ground. It seemed to be a carrot.

"How mundane." Bronnie said as he looked at the carrot. He was still getting used to all the manual labor he was doing. Even though he was an Earth Pony, Bronnie did not get out very often, he was much too busy for that. With a few tugs, the carrot came out of the ground with a "pop". Bronnie studied his prize with glee. "You look so delicious," he spoke out loud as he licked his lips. His tongue reached out to taste the earthy vegetable, when he pulled back. He shook his head to clear his mind. "Gee whiz!" he said to himself. "Calm down Bronnie, it's just a carrot, you've had them before without a problem."

Now that Bronnie had gathered enough food for the day, he set out into the savanna. The grass was yellow, dry, and scratchy. There were large bushes of tall grass, the kind that was perfect for gathering grass clippings. He cut some of the grass to take with him, in case he needed it. There wasn't much to see in the savanna. Some grass, a couple boulders, some small saplings, some more of those funny little rabbit things, and... WHAT IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA IS THAT? Bronnie was astounded at what he saw. It was a buffalo, no, a cow, no, a... a Beefalo! Whatever it was, it was a large and intimidating animal. It had lots of wool all over its body and it had two jagged horns protruding out of its head. The creature smelled very bad, like a barn that hadn't been cleaned for a long time. Bronnie tried to get closer to the Beefalo (as he liked to call it), when he pulled back suddenly. He had almost stepped in a little "present" left for him by the smelly creature. Bronnie shuddered at the thought. Enough exploring for today. he decided.

Bronnie arrived back at his patch of grass. For some reason, he now felt an irrational urge to stomp on the flowers that were around his camp. His vision was getting a bit wobbly, but he wasn't bothered. He needed something to do. Bronnie racked his brains, trying to think of something. After a bit, he remembered the blueprints that the man had downloaded into his brain on that fateful night. It was some kind of science machine, or something like that. Bronnie didn't have a clue what it did, but he did know how to make it. And it had "science" in the title! How on Equis could it be any harm to make?

"Now let's see," Bronnie had drawn a blueprint of the machine in the muddy forest grass that he pieced together from what was in his brain. "I need four logs, four stones, and a gold nugget." He was slightly worried at that last ingredient. He could chop down more trees, and he could easily find a way to mine the rocks, but getting a golden nugget? That sounded like it would be difficult. None the less, Bronnie set to work. He collected some more flint from the grasslands and, with a couple of sticks and ingenuity, made himself a crude pick. Bronnie went back to the grasslands. Time to test out that pick. He walked up to one of the boulders. It looked like somepony had taken a bunch of squarish rocks and melded them together. He hit the rocks with his pickaxe. Though the rock seemed heavy and strong, it broke within a few hits. Good. Bronnie gathered the rocks up. He went to the next boulder and mined that. Same loot. Then, Bronnie noticed a different looking rock. It was a bit taller than the squarish ones. Careful not to step in Beefalo poop, he made his way to the boulder. He examined the rock to discover a yellowish shining mineral vein. Bronnie danced in glee. He had struck gold. Literally and figuratively! gold He mined the large stone with great fervor. It broke apart to reveal the usual rocks, some flint this time as well, and a single coveted gold nugget. Without delay, Bronnie took his loot and hurried back to his camp before he lost it somehow.

Bronnie sat in the grass, working on building the strange machine. "Okay, this goes here, and this goes there, NO, there. Ah, better," he mumbled under his breath. As dusk fell across the land, Bronnie finished the machine. He stood up and admired his work. It was a very strange looking machine, no doubt. The rocks made a sort of power box in the center with the gold inside. The power box was held up by three of the logs. The fourth one was hollowed out and was stuck on top of the device to act like a smoke stack. A lever had been attached to the control box, and two wheels protruded from the body of the device as well. Bronnie stepped over to the machine and hesitantly pulled the lever. He screwed his eyes shut as the machine downloaded even more recipes into his brain. There was one for a decent back pack, a shovel, a lightning rod, and so many more! He liked the sound of that back pack, his saddlebags were getting full. He got the necessary sticks and grass and tied them together as directed by the science machine to make a crude backpack. As Bronnie soon found out, however, these recipes were very hard to remember and he had to come back to the science machine if he wanted to try a new recipe, unlike the ones he had gotten from the man at his home back in Equestria. Bronnie then felt a pang of homesickness. He missed his house, old as it was, he missed his job, and he missed his boss, even though she had turned him down. He missed them all so very much, and it had only been two days. Honestly Bronnie, show some back bone, two days isn't that long!

Tonight, Bronnie decided, he was going to be smart. Just before the light went away, he build a fire pit with some of the extra rocks. When he lit it, the fire blazed up quite large, surely adequate to keep the evil night monster away. It would certainly burn longer, now that it was semi-contained. He roasted his berries and his carrot. Being an equine based being, he possessed a natural love for carrots. The carrot ended up being rather mushy when it was cooked, but it still tasted good, and it was hot. Bronnie loved hot food.

However, he found it rather difficult to sleep, or get any rest for that manner. He kept hearing whisperings. Strange voices that he couldn't make out. He yelled out to the darkness, and thought, for a second, he had seen something watching him from the dark. The night monster perhaps? When he nearly reached his breaking point, salvation arrived in the form of day break.

Bronnie bustled about his campsite. He was a bit cold and wet, as it was rainy that morning. He scoured the area, looking for any creepy monsters. When he was satisfied, he picked the flowers around his camp. It made him feel a lot calmer, and a bit more sane somehow, and the petals made him feel stronger when he ate them. Some lighting struck to his north, beyond the forest, but it was too far away to affect him too much. After the rain stopped, Bronnie set out to work right away. He took his new axe (he had to make another one after his first one broke) and headed to the forest to chop some more wood for the fire that evening, and maybe to get some for use with the new recipes given to him by the science machine.

After an hour of chopping, Bronnie sat on a stump to rest. He took a deep breath of damp woody air. He was quite pleased with himself, as he had gotten plenty of wood so far. He was about to get back up and resume working, when he heard a noise. It sounded like the chopping of a tree. Bronnie began to turn around and break into a run, he thought this must be some kind of monster, or at the very least, he was hearing things, but he stopped once more as he heard another voice. This time, the voice was loud and distinct, very much like a trumpet.

"Ha ha! Take that, nature!"

Author's Note:

Happy Thanksgiving everypony. 'Tis the season, so I had to mention the Gobbler. I mean come on, how could I not? Who is the owner of this mysterious voice. Do I really need to ask?

See you next time!
-Herr Director

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