DWhay
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Ah you bastard. You've done it again. Sappy love time insues and I gotta imagine it. I wished, with all the stars in the sky, that this had no correlation between the conversations we had but how can it not!! The masseur who involuntarily makes a girl frustrated, the secret, the torment that came with the truth. My gosh!! This is gonna be good. This is passed tense right? That's new from you, at least for me.
Yeah... I'm still on the fence about this gay clop. I already owe boss man's college fund, if he gets to say I told you so... I think I really will die!!
My gosh... It's like you ripped this chapter straight out of my life. It is highly accurate, scary accurate, like hit the sharp end of a nail with a pin from the moon accurate. Replace the characters here with me and two people from my life and you basically have our first meeting to the letter.
There is one thing that is both innacurate and an oddity. Dusk shine. Such hostility, such irksome emotions, for feathers here; what's up with that?
This was good, the story seems great, but I'm a bit on the fence about giving it the thumbs up. It's a difference in quality you see. Usually your stories are grammatically correct to the t, this one not so much. Take it as a compliment though. I won't up-vote this story for, literally, silly mistakes. It means I have stupidly high expectations from you.
No I will not lower them.
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Yeah it's much different for me to be writing in the past tense, let alone in the first person, so this is quite the venture for me. Let's hope all goes well!
What the heck,a Rule 63 M/M story,huh...I'm keeping my eye on this.
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I apologize in advance for this chapter.
What the fuck... I feel dirty. First with you, then with me, and then a bit of both. This submission, domination, mental break... GOD!! I'm frustrated in so many ways now!! The thought of boss man over me, glaring at me with lustful eyes, tears comng off my face as he bended me to do whatever he wanted. FUCK YOU!! FUCK THIS STORY! FUCK THIS CHAIR IN PARTICULAR!!
You, you, YOU SIR!! Do not know what to have just done! I was thinking 'Yay, a nice love story with a bit of dom, maybe a little drama, a love triangle.' But NNNOOO!! You had to go let me fuck with Cole like this. Now you have a whole new paradigm to satisfy. What will Candenza do to Felt? Will Dusk toruture him? And how will Lune react to all this!? FUCK! What if this is normal to him? He expected this? What if he didn't?! Damn you! My first moments off work and I have to feel like bucking something?
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I can't say I'm sorry because I already did.
Anywhooves, did you at least enjoy the chapter?
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Yes... Yes... Very much. But now I don't know where this story is gonna go. Dusk seems annoyed with Felt's presence. Solaris is like you protrait Celestia in your other fic, though maybe a little kinder. Cadenza... I don't even wanna know. And Lune... Now I'm just guessing here... But does he have a harem of servants? I mean between them all. Do they treat all the servants like this or only Felt? I mean come on! It would be a little romantic if it was just him, but if ever one is... Oh... OH!! That's beautiful!! What if Dusk was not annoyed with Felt himself but how he acted, seeing it happen on multiple occasions. Another name in a long line of stallions, mares, just wanting to be near their 'idols' and being disillusioned. If it goes that way I'm kicking your ass mind you but it would be acceptable.
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This fic will be taking a turn here, and in the next chapter you'll see that Felt holds value to Solaris in more ways than simply as a servant. In the last part of the chapter he actually reveals that he feels quite a bit for him, mainly through his actions and what he did after he was done using Felt. It has to do with Felt's gift, but it also relates to his jealousy towards his younger brother finding a servant that wants to get to know him as a pony, and didn't become a servant simply to get paid. Dusk Shine's reaction towards the whole situation should be golden
, and the dynamic between Lune and Solaris will be revealed later on, which will obviously lead to problems.
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You have made me expectant of the next chapter. Now if you don't mind, I am gonna have Bubble rape Butter.
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Okay! Bubble Berry is best r63 pony!
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Dude how many people has you pissed off!? Boss man's gmail just reported you as spam. You doing something I should look out for?
I'm not going to lie, I didn't completely enjoy this chapter, and mostly because of how Solaris acted towards Felt. I understand that his empath ability gave him no real way of resisting, but that just makes me resent Solaris so much more.
Ugh... I fucking hate Solaris.
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It would seem... a few.
Hope this next chapter rectifies my mistake. 
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Gosh if I'd known the only thing I had to do was write a non-consensual sex scene into a fic to get you guys to finally comment I would have written one much sooner.
>(*P.S. No good cover arts with Prince Lune... sorry for no cover image.*)
http://derpiboo.ru/452545?scope=scpe10bfc5a2afcf20ea25e6ffcc65fd70fa73a2c1c0
http://derpiboo.ru/418109?scope=scpe10bfc5a2afcf20ea25e6ffcc65fd70fa73a2c1c0
http://derpiboo.ru/256598?scope=scpe10bfc5a2afcf20ea25e6ffcc65fd70fa73a2c1c0
http://derpiboo.ru/229958?scope=scpe10bfc5a2afcf20ea25e6ffcc65fd70fa73a2c1c0
??.....
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so heart wrenching!!! i have had that happen to me one time..... i was originally one guys boyfriend then my boyfriend loved another and then eventually we had a three way relationship and then finally i left them both cause i saw there was no room for me and m love for the one i had fallen in love with before. the other guy was ok but in the end my heart was shattered and well now im with a guy who truly loves me for me and wouldnt love another the same way.
3554902great story my friend cant wait for more
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Finally, cover art!
(*I secretly avoid derpibooru... shocking business goes on there.*)
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Thank you sir, it's always good to see a new commentator.
Anything specific you liked?
3555198 Everything my good man
3555198 what goes on there?....
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Turn the filters to All images, scroll through the galleries. I did, and the things that cannot be unseen... terrible.
3555215 gore/grimdark and other nasty stuff like fluffy ponies are all hidden under spoiler tags by default though , if you didn't like what you saw when you turned that off why not just turn it back on?.....
well... still not into M/M but i have that is one fine story
a bit too much forgiving after what happened in the story (won't spoiler)
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Out of curiosity... why are you here if you don't like M/M? Not trying to be rude, nor pry into your business, but most ponies just kind of avoid the gay shipping & handling parts of the site if they don't like it.
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i'm not into pure M/M... but i don't disaprove a story just becouse it's M/M
your story does have clop parts but it has a story there... not just pure clop
i like to read good storys, don't care what they are if they are good
3564054
Aww, shucks. You think my fic's good. That means a lot.
3564062
if i wouldn't think it's a good fic i wouldn't read it past the first chapter
i read a good fic for the story, if it's good i don't mind some clop in it, even M/M clop, just adds to the story.
in your case i find Felt and his mark original, didn't read something like that before so i deem it good for me to continue to read more
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i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/646/634/eb5.gif
By the stars somepony who actually likes original content!
Where have you been hiding?! I thought such thinkers were all but gone!
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LOL.... that pic
yes, i love good original story and OC ponys,
as for where i've been hiding, thats more simple... i wan't around, i'm a new brony, 2~3 month tops...
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Know Your Meme has a whole gallery full of Reaction Macros! I always go there for my .gifs.
Great! We need new bronies around here. The idea pool gets stale if you stick around too long. Look at me, I've been around since this whole brony craze started and been a loyal fan to the show the whole time (*Even though I question Hasbro's creative decisions*). See, things have gotten... stagnant around here. Just last week there were four fics in the featured box all revolving around estrus. The amount of fresh ideas we have is running low, so new bronies are really just what the fandom doctor ordered. Good to know we're still getting people to watch after... well, after the vines, questionably coloured potions, tail removal... you get the point. Our image has isn't the best right now.
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know "Know Your Meme" just didn't think i was that surprising to have, a "new" brony...
good to know some people still have their mind into writing good storys and not just popular ones
as for myself, while i'm no writer or artist (god has forsaken me on this things... have no skill) so i enjoy reading good storys when i can find them.
as for S4... yes...
more or less saying LET THERE BE CLOP, just too easy...
I am rather enraptured with this story, however there were some slight anatomical miscommunications represented in this chapter that I suggest you take a look at.
the medial ring is the name for the ring on the stallion, as opposed to the taint, which is the area between the ass and genitals.
just want to help clear up any confusions, overall, good read, keep it up.
This was very sensual. I love how you focus on characters' thoughts and emotions related to sex. I think it is much less important what characters do than why they do it and why they do it this way and not another. I think only a few erotic stories here made me feel present like this one did. Thank you for the good reading and I hope you will write more! I guess I should also check your other stories.
Also, while I am not a native English speaker myself, I find grammar and spelling of this story on the highest level, at least comparing to other fanfiction. I did spot some typos, I think, but I was too involved in the plot to remember them.
And original content is much appreciated in our self-proclaimed high-intelligent circles. Thanks again for the good story.
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Thank you both for reading, and telling me your thoughts about the fic. I'm going to answer both of your questions in one paragraph. Firstly, I'm very grateful that Gavin took the time to correct my anatomical terminology; using the wrong words in such a fic is inexcusable, and the fact that I have a proofreader in the audience eases my paranoia that somehow in these 5,000 word plus chapters I missed something. As for Amuns, I must say that I'm surprised you find my English to be more correct than most. See, I actually write (and speak) with a slight dialect, which comes out whenever I write words like flavor or color. I tend to spell them flavour or colour, amongst other things. The fact that I'm good enough to write for you guys is astounding to me, and the fact that you can understand my confusing thoughts when I write them makes me doubly happy. Thanks a ton for commenting and helping me improve, guys. Keep up the good work.
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Writing flavour and colour this way? I heard this is an obscure dialect known as British English. Few know of it, and even when presented with evidence, people usually dismiss it as just a text with some spelling errors.
Funny thing, your fanfiction.net profile says you live in the US. How come you tend to use British?
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Long story short, I'm from there but I moved here. I regret that decision immensely.
another fine work....
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Please define 'Fine work'... I wish to know.
This is getting so dark...
It seems to me that your Solaris differs much from the show's Celestia, to the point where he may already be considered a different character. I can see how Celestia may be a benevolent ruler (because being a cruel ruler will not give her any benefits), loving sister (because only Luna can accompany her through millennia) and kind mentor (because she finds Twilight worthy), and yet be cruel in some cases just for her own enjoyment, when the target of such cruelty seems to her more useful this way than otherwise. But here Solaris clearly antagonize Lune for no reason whatsoever. He may be jealous, and I believe he can abuse Felt Feathers if he can hide that from Lune or if he believes Lune would not be hurt much by knowing that FF was abused. But I cannot see how Celestia could purposely increase tension between herself and Luna.
Still, even though I am not a fan of dark things, this was some good darkness. I wish I could tell you what a good darkness is. Maybe one with good immersion?
And now for something completely different.
Lune's cock does not belong to you, silly.
What?
I spot a typo!
This is present tense.
I spot editing leftovers.
Also, "Euclidian physics" probably should be either Euclidean geometry or Newtonian physics. Although I know that Roger Penrose considers Euclidean geometry a physical theory.
I have never written a comment of such size in my life.
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As for darkness in a fic... there is a difference between senseless darkness in a fic and otherwise reasonable darkness. There are ways and reasons for it, and depending upon how you use it, it can make or break a fic. The good darkness is the kind that submerges you in it, makes you feel as if you're sitting there experiencing it. It also isn't solely agonizing to read, sometimes the darkness isn't always suffering. It's sometimes enjoyment as well.
There will be a lot of explanation in the next chapter, and soon we will see that despite Solaris indulging himself in Felt he isn't the happiest individual in the world. Behind his jealousy over Lune, he's also nursing an old wound that we will go over in the next chapter. We also get over a GLARING mistake that both Lune and Solaris made getting intimate with Felt Feathers in the first place.
3573969
Oh no! He has pony AIDS! Alicorns' only weakness!
3573990
Teehee, but no. Just hold your horses and wait for the next chapter.
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i wrote it from my cellphone... can't write long text
so....
this chapter is pure BDSM bliss (yes...) this is much more then just clop, the emphasis is on the domination of Felt by Solaris, this is done not by violence but by control, twisting Felt to Solaris will.
the story builds up from the memory of the night with Lune, to the light part with Dusk to the dark "climax" (you know what i mean) with Solaris... this is how you tell a story people... you build it, not throw it at people. and the end is simple... the remorse of Felt that more or less signed himself for this due to blind love for Lune.
like the "fun" light parts like this one
just funny moment of "don't enter, there are things that can't be unseen" i like it
and then this one
now we move to the dark side, Solaris way to domination over Felt.
he begins with a simple "this all can be yours" move, showing him what riches he can bestow on him but with one condition
Solaris is "nice" at this moment trying to make Felt to play his part in the "game" and be the slave he wants him to be willingly
once Felt fails in this trying to be independent and show he is not a possession or pet we see the dark side of Solaris, here is the most important part for me, not just plain domination but the option given to Felt, be a Slave or be forced to be one. Felt sees Solaris for who he is
one way you can have all you want if you just play along, the other option (that we see) is be forced against your own will more over by his power that forces him against his will until he brakes
this is just beautiful... the whole part of braking his will summarized into 5 words... simple but way more powerful this way.
so in all
hope to read more as the time passes
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NO SIR! THAT COMMENT WAS AWESOME!
I must say that I've never actually had somepony make such a long comment! I am still soaking up the sheer amount of feedback you fit in there... I must say that if I could receive on of these every chapter I would write for every waking moment of every day. But alas, I do not live in such a perfect world! You have my thanks for giving me so much motivation to make another chapter, and bravo.
I... I'm so mixed up. I can't get this story out of my head. The contrast between those two is just mind blowing. I keep wanting Lune to burst in and deck Solaris. I'll just have to content myself with waiting and seeing where you take this.
Three chapters and I honestly don't know how to feel. Disgusted, touched, I am so confused. No person can read this, all of this, in one sitting and go I feel this way about this story. You have mindfucked me sir. Totally and completely. I had to walk away. For about five mintues.
The domination!! God! That... That was horrible! Yet I had the strangest girl boner. Fuck you. To break his will so terribly, to take advantage ol his lust, to impose his will... I have never been so disgusted, turned on, and angry in about six hours.
You have messed with me here. Pulled at my feels, my fetishes, and have rustled my jimmies. So I am going to do the same to you. There is an error in one of these three chapters. Where you have Felt refer to someone as she. I am 60% sure you haven't fixed it so good luck finding it.