How does Pinkie break the fourth wall? How does Lyra know about humans? Where does the Doctor get his Sonic Screwdriver? Well here's my take on how.
Not much to say really, I write stories for the Brony Nation and the Pegasister Alliance that's all I do really.
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The writing isn't too good, it feels that you are more pitching ideas of things to be written than actually writing the ideas.
I don't like it. The grammar needs work, the story lacked a plot, and the entire thing felt liike a half-brained attempt to explain a few memes. The idea is interesting, but needs a worthy tale to go with it.
Choosing the name 'Hole in the Wal', while a good play on words for referencing 'breaking the fourth wall, it gives a double-meaning to bronies like me, for whom 'Hole-in-the-Wall' means ATM.
Wall smasher 4000. 4th wall. I see what you did here.
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To be honest I made it up on the fly. But it fits the scheme of the story in my opinion.
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I'm going to have to agree with what these two said, in a sense. Your grammar and word placement could use some work, for sure, and I think if you had more of a plot line to go with you'd be on a better track.
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However, I do enjoy a nice, silly story every so often, and this fit the bill quite nicely. So, I'll be giving it a thumbs-up for now. Keep at it!
This is a cute snippet to set a scene, but it's not a story as such. There's no conflict. There's no rising or falling action. It's simply... a moment. In fact, in that regard, it's really closer to poetry than a story.
2891545 It's just a short, there is no conflict or anything, just a explanation.