One Big Happy Family
“Diamond Tiara, we need to talk,” Filthy Rich said to his daughter, who was currently snuggling with Apple Bloom on the couch.
“Aw, can’t it wait until my show’s over?!” Diamond Tiara complained, not wanting to get up from her seat.
“Now, Diamond Dazzle Tiara!” Filthy yelled, pointing into the kitchen so the two could talk in private.
“Alright, alright! Sheesh!” Diamond Tiara yelled back. “Be right back, hun,” Diamond Tiara said as she kissed Apple Bloom on the lips and got up.
“Diamond Tiara, what is this?” Filthy Rich asked as he hoofed her a piece of paper. After a few seconds of looking at it, Diamond Tiara shrugged her shoulders.
“Adoption papers, why?”
“Diamond Tiara, what does it say on the adoption papers?”
“Uh...hold on,” Diamond Tiara said as she held up her hoof. “These papers do make me the legal guardian of Scootaloo, right?”
“Yes, Diamond Tiara, they do,” Filthy growled, tapping his hoof impatiently.
“So what’s the problem?”
“What’s the problem? What’s the problem?!” Filthy repeated slamming his hoof into the table. “Diamond Tiara, you’re too young to be adopting a child of your own! Let alone one that’s only a few months younger than you!”
“Oh come on! I’m doing a good job!” Diamond Tiara shouted back, causing her father to back up a step.
S-she’s never yelled at me before! he thought to himself with slight distress. It was the dreaded rebellious stage that he had heard of.
“And if you took a look at her grades, you would know she’s doing better than ever in school!” Diamond Tiara continued with a smirk. “She went from straight D’s to straight B’s! Not perfect mind you, but it’s close enough.” Filthy Rich sighed to himself as he watched his smirking daughter. Even he had to admit that improving Scootaloo’s grades was a great accomplishment.
“Still, Diamond Tiara, you must understand that-”
“And you’ve seen Scootaloo! Doesn’t she look happy?!” Diamond Tiara asked with a glare, causing Filthy to take another step back. “Can you really ask me to disown her? Do you know how crushed she would be?” At that Filthy couldn’t help but flinch. Again, she was right. The girl seemed so happy with her new family, and had even taken to calling him Grandpa, something he couldn’t help but smile at everytime he heard it.
“B-be that as it may, Diamond Tiara,” he started slowly. He only had one more shot at this, or otherwise he would fail. “You’re not even married yet! How can you take care of-”
“Oh right, forgot to tell you,” Diamond Tiara interrupted, hoofing over an invitation. Taking it from her, Filthy Rich looked at the invitation, his mouth falling open in shock. “Me and Apple Bloom are getting married in three weeks!”
“WHAT?!”
“Hey, I wanted to wait a few years, but Granny Smith wouldn’t stop pestering me about it,” Diamond Tiara said, as she turned and began walking back to the couch. “Even brought up some things about a “shotgun”, whatever that is!” she said with a giggle as she sat on the couch and went back to snuggling with Apple Bloom.
“Diamond Tiara!” Filthy Rich called out as he opened the front door. “I’m going to pay Granny Smith a visit. Be back in a little bit!”
“Bye, Daddy!”
“Bye, Mr Rich!”
“Bye, Grandpa!” he heard Scootaloo shout from upstairs, who was still busy with her homework. Filthy Rich sighed to himself as he closed the door behind him. He just couldn’t fathom what that old Granny Smith was thinking.
It didn’t take long for him to make it to Sweet Apple Acres thanks to his private chariot, and it didn’t take long to find Granny Smith, who was sitting on her porch with a empty cup, no doubt finishing it just before he arrived.
“Hello, Granny Smith!” he called out as he walked up to her and sat down on a chair next to her. “How are you this evening?”
“Oh, ah’m fine, Filthy,” Granny Smith replied with a smile, causing Filthy Rich to groan.
“Please, call me Rich,” he said with a strained laugh. How he hated his name. “Listen, I came over to talk about my daughter and your granddaughter.”
“Oh? Are ya excited fer the wedding like ah am?” Granny asked with a smile, trembling in anticipation. “Ah just love me a wedding!”
“That’s the thing, Granny. The two of them are far too young to be married!” Filthy shouted, earning a glare from Granny Smith.
“Too young fer marriage?!” Granny Smith yelled back, causing Filthy to lean away from her. He began regretting sitting in a chair. “Oh, so the two of them are too young fer marriage, but old enough fer a kid?! Is that what yer implying, Filthy?!”
“N-no, ma’am! It’s just…” Adjusting his tie, he cleared his throat and smiled at the old mare. “You see, they’re too young for a child as well! We need to convince them to take Scootaloo back to the-OWCH!” he cried as Granny hit him on the top of his head with a nearby cane.
“Ya want them to DISOWN her?!” Granny yelled out, snarling at him. “Filthy, how could ya just casually say that? There is nothing more important than family!” she scolded, causing him to sigh as he rubbed his aching head.
“Yes, I agree, but they aren’t a fami-” he stopped as he saw Granny lifting her cane, causing him to flinch in fear. The old mare had one heck of a swing.
“Right now, Scoots and Diamond are family! And those two love each other just as much as any other mother and daughter!” Granny scolded as she put her cane back down, causing Filthy Rich to sigh in relief. “An’ if Apple Bloom wants to be part o’ that family, then she has every right! And ah’m gonna do mah best to support her!”
“Granny…” Filthy Rich mumbled, and sighed. “Well, if you’re so dead set on this, I suppose I’ll just have to go along with it.” Otherwise you’ll just hit me again, he thought with a cringe. If letting his daughter get married meant him not getting hit with a cane, then he truly had little choice.
“Good,” Granny said with nod. Leaning back into her chair, Granny sighed to herself with a smile. “Those two foals really do make a cute couple, don’t ya think, Rich?” she asked, causing Filthy Rich to scratch his chin in thought. In only a second did he smiled with a nod.
“Yeah, I guess they do,” he said with a sigh. Maybe, just maybe with the support of both families, they could make it.
“Though ah still can’t believe mah little Apple Bloom got yer kid pregnant with Scootaloo!”
“...What?” Filthy turned to Granny, his face in utter shock.
“Ah know, right? Foals these days just don’t know how ta wait anymore!” Granny said with a hint of sadness. “But at least those two are taking responsibility!” she said with a shrug, eliciting a groan from Filthy Rich.
I’m not even going to bother.
“Do you, Diamond Dazzle Tiara, take Apple Bloom as your bride?” Mayor Mare asked, looking between the two fillies. Though they were awfully young to be married, Filthy Rich made her a offer she couldn’t refuse. Vacation to Saddle Arabia here I come!
“I do!” Diamond Tiara said as she gazed lovingly at Apple Bloom.
“And Apple Bloom, do you take Diamond Tiara to be your bride?”
“Ah do!” Apple Bloom replied as she gazed lovingly at her meal ticke-I mean lover.
“Then by the power invested to me by Celestia, I now pronounce you mare and mare! You may kiss the other bride!” And as she finished, the new married couple kissed passionately.
As the two walked away from the altar, Silver Spoon, the best mare, turned to Sweetie Belle in confusion.
“So...do you have any idea what’s going on?” she asked as she saw Scootaloo happily follow behind her...ugh, “parents”.
“You know, Silver Spoon, I don’t know what’s going on,” Sweetie Belle replied as she wrapped a hoof around Silver Spoon’s shoulder. “But what I do know is Diamond Tiara is happy, and so are my two best friends! Isn’t that good enough?”
After a minute of thinking it over, Silver Spoon nodded slowly. If Diamond Tiara truly was happy, who was she to judge?
“And besides, since those two are married now, that means we’re friends by association! Isn’t that great?!” Sweetie Belle said happily, causing Silver Spoon to pale.
Oh dear Celestia, what have you gotten me into, Diamond Tiara?!
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A SilverBelle fic
yay a new chapter to this story also they married now oh and Mattricole are you going to add more chapters to this story with this say it is complete
Hmm do i detect a possible spin off about Silver and Sweetie?
3757015
Like I said before, I'll add a chapter if I get inspiration, but as of now, it's complete.
3756996
This is the pony equivelant of "The Room" starring Tommy Wisseu
3757060 ok
This is it. this is the story that broke me
Next, Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon fall in love, much to Button Mash's dismay
This story STILL leaves me in stitches! The pain is worth the laughter!
Oh Apple Bloom, you're such a gol—I mean loving, caring, honest, pony.
God, what I wouldn't have given to see Applejack's reaction to all these while she was away with friends doing Luna knows what! xD
I lost it. I can't help but snicker at all the Scootaloo moments. Priceless!
Dat ending. That glorious ending. "Friend by association" lol does that make them Friend-in Laws? Great moment there. She must of gone three shades whiter than Sweetie Belle at that point.
Can we get a sequel?
3758125
No, Sweetie Belle and Button's mom fall in love and adopt Silver Spoon. Then Button Mash falls in love with Scootaloo.
IT'S THE PERFECT CRACK FIC!
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/60953/953/102/twilightcrazy_display.gif
3594178 Now that there's an extra chapter, you might have to revise that
Okay, puppy-dog writer (which I'm calling you due to you having too complicated a name to remember and all I DO remember about you all the time is the dog in your avatar), you continue to amuse me. There is SO much wrong with this (ethically and morally and all that, not writing-wise), but it's just so hilarious how most of them just go with it in their own way. Granny Smith's old nature raising the funny issue of how Scootaloo was now Diamond Tiara's daughter, the parts with Filthy Rich, Mayor Mare once more simply caring about money and anything she can get, and everything ending with Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle. It's just so...well, so vastly unusual and so hilariously cute and awesome. It's honestly one of those stories that is so weird that it's great. You're awesome.
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It's comments like these that really stroke my ego
.
Thanks for all the wonderful comments, it pleases me.
3760198 By the way, what kind of cute dog is that in your avatar? Oh, and try not to get TOO big an ego; I'd like it to remain normal-sized so you can concentrate on making just as funny and awesome stories in the future.
3760202
My dog is what's known as a Shih-Tzu. They are known as the Lion Dog/Little Lion in China. They were actually allowed to sleep on the emperor's bed, laying by his feet to help keep them warm. In the age of Imperialism though the species were nearly wiped out, leaving only 12 alive. To this day every Shih-Tzu can be traced back to one of these 12 dogs.
3760208 I'm quite the lover of cats, but I do know my dogs. I did NOT know about that little tidbit of information, though. So, thanks for enlightening me! You learn something new every day. And, that's a very cute pooch; I have three poodles myself. And, no, not the ugly ones with the stupid-looking haircuts that make them look ridiculous. I meant tiny, cute ones.
3760213
Love poodles, in their natural state they are beautiful. When someone cuts their hair...well, most of the time their look is ruined sadly.
I'm… I'm just... I'm very confused.
Granny Smith is SO Gangsta!
oh and LMAO at Granny saying AB knocked up Tiara! Priceless!
I'm disappointed in Silver's reaction to being friends with Sweetie. I would thought out of all the crusaders she would get along with Sweetie best. Perhaps in time she will see they have much in common.
3756978
With Diamond taken I would def support a SilverBelle ship here.
3762098
I doubt they'd be doing anything sexual until they go over it in class, and going by the first chapter it's obvious Cheerilee has yet to go over it so...
Also, Sweetie is the kind of pony that you'd have to get to know before you start liking her, at least for me she was. But when you do start to get to know her the friendship that blooms will be stronger than steel.
Welcome to Equestria, a country, where money could buy you anything!
[Insert a picture of Diamond Tiara saying 'Capitalism, ho!']
This was a weird, but incredibly funny story. A Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle sequel? Yes, please!
Now comes the honeymoon!
what the actual ever livin cotton pickin hell fuck
Don't you hate it when you're typing on a tablet or a phone and "Scootaloo" always corrects to "Capitalism"? I keep trying to write my fanfic on-the-go, but with auto correct, it's so hard!
I HATE AUTO CORRECT!
3874917
. i hate auto correct, just tell me it's spelled wrong and I'll look it up, don't change it for me 
!
I don't own a tablet, and my phone is simple so I don't write on it, but yeah that does sound sucky
3868956
My thoughts similarly.
lol This was Great! Makes me wish it was animated on youtube, like 'Button's Adventures' is. It could be called 'Scootaloo and her incredibly awkward parents' ...or something
. I could see Apple Bloom throwing on the fake mustache to play her "father" role for a visual gag.
Nice story. Scootaloo constantly calling D.T. her 'mom' and the parent teacher conference were the highlights for me.
I am not quite sure what I have just finished reading. I am, however, quite clearly aware that I will be continuing with your stories. You have caught my attention in ways I cannot clearly express at this present moment in time.
This was hilarious. I was laughing so hard every second.
Honestly, I thought this wouldn't be a good story before starting, but I'm glad I was wrong.
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Personally my favorite fic I ever written.
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Mine doesn't. It's far enough from any other word that it gives me 'Scootaloo' with no changes, with alternatives of 'A copy all I' or 'Scoot all I'.
I'm guessing you're on an Apple device. I think they are harsher with their autocorrect.
The description looks all cheesy and sweet, but the story is absolutely hilarious.
And sweet... I guess...
3895282 I actually do not own an Apple device, I currently own a Kindle Fire HD. I guess Amazon is pretty harsh with auto-correct too.
3909081
...Harsh.
Oh well, that's the kind of reaction I was hoping for
3909228
Why does this say complete when we know there's more that'll randomly pop up on this fic? Always leaves me confused. But yeah this is a weird, but enjoyable fic. Kudos on another interesting chapter.
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To be fair, this is now actually complete. It does have a sequel though.
3929928
I can't wait to see the sequel! Is it still in production or has it been made already?
3930587
Got two chapters up. You can see it right next to the story description here, unless something's glitching on your end. So here's a Link.
I felt so awkward yet I couldn't help but but laugh!
What the hay did I just read?
The moral of this story is that bribery solves everything.
I have no idea. And I ain't mad.
So, Filthy enjoyed Scootaloo calling him 'Grandpa' before he even knew she actually was his granddaughter?
That's it, I'm done with the internet, time to move on to: WAIT? WHAT AM I SAYING?
3909081 This amuses me greatly.
This story is 1000000% Diamond Cutter Approved!
oi58.tinypic.com/bgvbkg.jpg
Now you can do comedy.
i. i just love this.... im not going to lie,
I've had a big goofy smile on me this whole time thinking
"this is funny and adorable, and i want more"