“Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara shouted as she walked up to her daughter. “What in the world is this?!” she asked as she showed Scootaloo a envelope.
“I-it’s nothing, Mom…” Scootaloo replied, looking away from her mother. Diamond Tiara scoffed and slammed the envelope on the table.
“Nothing? Nothing?! This is anything but nothing!”
“What in tarnation is going on?” Apple Bloom grumbled as she walked into the kitchen, sitting down next to Diamond Tiara. “What’s wrong, hun?”
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong! Scootaloo got in trouble at school again!”
“Ah know; we were there,” Apple Bloom sighed as she took the envelope in hoof. “It’s just a parent-teacher conference. What’s the big deal?”
“What’s the big deal?!” Diamond Tiara asked as she slammed her hoof on the table. “How can my little Scootaloo get an education if she gets kicked out of school?!”
“Diamond, Scootaloo isn’t going to be kicked out of school,” Apple Bloom reassured as she wrapped a hoof around Diamond’s shoulder. “Look, we’ll go to the conference, apologize fer Scootaloo’s misbehavior, go home, and have a nice dinner and a movie. How’s that sound, hun?” Apple Bloom asked as she nuzzled Diamond Tiara’s cheek, causing her to giggle.
“Oh, Apple Bloom, you always know how to make me feel better!” Diamond Tiara gushed as she turned her head and kissed Apple Bloom on the lips.
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Scootaloo groaned as she covered her mouth. Her parents could be so embarrassing.
“Alright, class is dismissed. I’ll see you all tomorrow morning,” Cheerilee said, signalling the students to get up from their seats and rushing out the door. “Scootaloo, you stay!” Cheerilee shouted as she caught Scootaloo trying to sneak out.
“Sorry, Miss Cheerilee,” Scootaloo mumbled as she took a seat in front of her desk.
“Good, now, all we have to do is wait for Miss Jalapeno to get-”
“Miss Jalapeno’s no longer her legal guardian!” Diamond Tiara shouted as she slammed a document on top of Miss Cheerilee’s desk. “I am!”
“...What?” Cheerilee mumbled to herself as she looked at the document in front of her. As far as she could tell it was a legal document stating Diamond Dazzle Tiara (her student) as the legal guardian of Scootaloo (now Scootaloo “Pretty Face” Rich).
“As you can see, I am now the proud owner, I-I mean “parent”, of Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara said, smirking as she stared at a gasping Cheerilee.
“WHAT?!” Cheerilee once again shouted as she re-read the document. “IS THIS EVEN LEGAL?!” Diamond Tiara just shrugged in response.
“Ah don’t see why not. We got the document an’ everything!” Apple Bloom bragged as she sat next to Scootaloo smiling.
“...Apple Bloom, what are you doing here?” Cheerilee asked, though in truth she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the answer.
“Well, ah just couldn’t stand by and watch a single mother raise a child on her own!” Apple Bloom shouted as she thumped herself on the chest. “As a responsible member of the Apple Family, it was mah responsibility to take-”
“I asked her to marry me, and she agreed because she’s after my money,” Diamond Tiara finished, earning a glare from Apple Bloom. “Now, let’s get this conference started. Apple Bloom needs to fix dinner.”
“Uh...okay?” Cheerilee responded, unsure if she should call the mayor over this, but decided against it. Coughing into her hoof, she lifted a stack of papers to her face. “You do know why I called the two of you here today?” she asked with a smile, earning a glare from Diamond Tiara.
“Oh, I know alright!” Diamond Tiara shouted as she slammed her hooves into the table. “Scootaloo! I can’t believe you hit Truffle Shuffle!”
“But, Mom, I-”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses!” Diamond Tiara growled as she turned to Cheerilee. “Ma’am, I am terribly sorry for my daughter’s misbehavior,” Diamond Tiara said as she bowed her head, earning a rather awkward grin from Cheerilee.
“That’s...quite alright, Diamond Tiara.”
“Please, call me Madame Tiara.” Diamond Tiara said with a grin, causing Cheerilee’s grin to twitch.
“Okay…Madame Tiara” Cheerilee growled, unsure if she should give Diamond Tiara a detention for disrespectful behavior. “But really, I do believe we should ask Scootaloo why she hit Truffle Shuffle, don’t you think?” Cheerilee asked, causing Diamond Tiara to groan.
“Ah agree with Miss Cheerilee. We shouldn’t be talkin about Scootaloo as if she weren’t here!” Apple Bloom said as she wrapped a hoof around her daughter. “Now, Scoots, why did you hit Truffle Shuffle?” Apple Bloom asked, causing Diamond to growl.
“Honestly! What does it even matt-”
“He called mom fat…” Scootaloo muttered, causing Diamond Tiara’s eyebrow to twitch.
“What...was that, dear?”
“He called you fat, so I decked him in the face.”
“...I’M GOING TO KILL HIM!” Diamond Tiara roared as she quickly leaped off her seat and ran towards the door, only to be stopped by Apple Bloom.
“Diamond Tiara, stop!” Apple Bloom begged as she tried to keep Diamond Tiara from crawling away. “What kind of example will you be setting for our daughter?!”
“A good one!” Diamond Tiara barked back. “I’m gonna teach her nopony insults the Rich Family! And if they do, we teach them a lesson!”
“Diamond Tiara…” Apple Bloom muttered to herself, before leaning forward into Diamond’s ear, and started to whispering. Eventually, Diamond Tiara started to settle down, and stopped fighting Apple Bloom. “Better?”
“Yeah...a little bit.” Diamond Tiara replied as she went back to her seat. Taking a deep breath, she smiled at Cheerilee. “Sorry about that. So how much is it going to cost for you to forget about Scootaloo’s little...incident?” Diamond Tiara asked with a smile. Cheerilee brought her hoof to her face and sighed.
“...One hundred bits sound fair?” Cheerilee asked, causing Diamond Tiara’s grin to grow.
“I think that’s more than fair.” Diamond replied as she grabbed her purse, paying Cheerilee the allotted sum. “And another two hundred for a certain colt to get punished?” Diamond Tiara asked, jingling her coin purse in front of Cheerilee.
“...Just get out,” Cheerilee growled as she pointed at the door.
“Eh, it was worth a shot,” Diamond Tiara sighed as she ushered her family out.
“Thanks for getting me out of trouble, Mom,” Scootaloo mumbled as she lay in bed.
“It’s no problem, my little Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara giggled as she kissed Scootaloo on the cheek. “I would do anything for my little knight,” Diamond Tiara said as she tucked Scootaloo into bed. “Now go to bed, it’s way past your bedtime.” And with that, Diamond Tiara turned to leave Scootaloo’s room.
“Good night, Mom,” Scootaloo yawned as she snuggled into bed.
“Good night, Scootaloo,” Diamond Tiara cooed as she turned off the lights and exited the room. Turning towards her own room, Diamond Tiara giggled to herself. I’m such a good influence, she thought to herself as she entered her room and lay down next to Apple Bloom.
I..... I.... Well... I... Fine. Good Chapter.
omg so good
My thoughts exactly. 3593761
I think I'm starting to like Diamond Tiara now...
Is there going to be more chapters In future or just two chapters and I like it
Pleas tell me you are going to continue this. It's very good.
IT LIVES!
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/yes-moar-of-that-biden.jpg
I love this story. It really makes me laugh. Really hope you've decided to make this a full story. Really want to more reactions to this whole thing. Especially from certain ponies.
too funny. . . .can't breathe . . . . laughing too hard . . . . (faints)
Poor Cheerilee. I could feel her migraine from here. Although this was an interesting chapter.
3593870
Depends if I feel like writing more, not sure. Remember a while back I said there would be only one, and now there's another.
3594078 ok and yeah i do and everybody want you to continue this story or make this to a full story
It's complete? Alright, time to do my favorite review type: CinemaSins's style!
Everything Wrong With How to be a Mother
(spoilers)
(duh)
That isn't a lie. (Pseudo-not) +1
She must be kinda...*clears thorat*
Hot headed.
OKAY, OKAY I'LL STOP IT. +1
Diamond Tiara dashed off to school, how did she go back to the house Jalapeno was? Or Diamond Tiara runs at the speed of light, or somebody's been messing with the cloning pool again. +1
Also, *Jalapeno +1
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS STRIKES AGAIN! +1
”
Jalapeno is breaking the law, as far as i know, orphanages don't require money (at least not when i am, PLEASE don't start a discussion because of this) but money apparently chnges the world, right!? +1
Actually, this is so wrong that it'll get an extra sin. +1
Doesn't Diamond hate Scootaloo? +1
Where is Silver Spoon!? +1
Best motivation ever. +1
Wow, even as a mother Diamond Tiara is still a dick to Scootaloo. +1
You got trigger happy, except that it is with the space button. +1
Again, money buys everything. +1
Is Apple Bloom seriously becoming the "bride" of the filly she hated her entire life? SERIOUSLY!? +1
WHERE IS FILTHY RICH IN THIS!? +1
Apple Bloom is accepting this?...Seriously? +1
AGAIN, SERIOUSLY!?
Why Diamond Tiara grounds Scootaloo since that doesn't do anything? I've never seen anything that Scootaloo was stopped to doing because she was grounded. +1
AJHFVNFSDVFSCFXDSXAASFZASDSHSGAFSBFSJF*aneurism* +1
The fact that this relationship was created from nothing but wish for wealth bugs me. A LOT. +1
No, it isn't! +1
I want a C, to the O, to the M M A! +1
Where is Sweetie Belle in the rest of the story? +1
Sin Tally: 21
Sentence(s): Son, this is what i've been dreaming for forty fawking years, because apparently Meta Knight had to die along the adoption process, and-
- IM ADOPTED!?
Be aware that none of this is to be taken seriously, this is a parody review made by DarkSonicTrail just by the shits and giggles and to point out plot holes and possibly grammar errors, any damage caused to your brain by my review is caused by your stupidity to had read my review, thus if anything happens, DarkSonicTrail Reviews Co. is not taken responsible for any damage, major or minor, read at your own risk.
DarkSonicTrail Reviews Co. 2008 - 2013
where are they staying and dose there family know about this?
3594180 that is a good question
3594281
i might have found a plot hole
3594305 yeah i think you did too
3594335
the funny part is, i was hoping this was going to be about Rich finding out, as i thought they where in the same hose but it seems Diamond has got one and they bin there for more then a day
3594361 yeah that is a funny part and ok
3594387
lol
3594399 lol
3593847
OH GOD. so am I...
3594422
Is there something wrong with us?
3594361
Filthy Rich would give Diamond ANYTHING she wanted, so it's conceivable that she could have her own small house on the property, with her own set of servants and everything. I assume that's where the three of them are living, although i did notice Miss Cherrilee forgot to ask for the marriage certificate for Diamond and Bloom without it legally she shouldn't be discussing Scoots in front of Bloom
why do i have to cook?
3594836 1 it is never said 2 it be funny if Rich met scoot in his hose 3 Rich made Diamond go to a farm when she didn't want to, 4 why you put that cook thing there
3594508
Nah. That's just what she does. You give her the slightest bit of room in your heart and she sets up camp, expanding her domain until you love her. So coming to like her is perfectly normal.
What isn't is blindly hating a little filly and wishing bodily harm upon her. Be glad you aren't one of those people
3594836
Mattricole can correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure she's still living at the Rich house. Whether or not Rich knows, well, the only way to know that for sure is for Mattricole to decide to write another chapter that covers it.
3595448
That actually makes a lot of sense. Thank you for setting me at ease.
WHERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER MATTRICOLE! GIVE IT NAO! GAWD!
3594863
Cause I found it amusing at the time to have AppleBloom complain about cooking, since the story implies that one of the reasons she married Diamond is for money, then the logical person would think that Bloom would have Diamond's servants cooking. We all know she's got to have servants as rich as she is
3594178
You...you...brilliant son of a bitch! I love cinema sins, and I love this review! Had me laughing the whole way ! This has got to be the greatest comment I've ever gotten, and did I say I love cinema sins?
3596137 she has no servants if Bloob is cooking
3596230
Well, congratulations! You've gotten yourself a CinemaSins review in EVERY STORY OF YOURS.
*laughs evily*
Jus' kidding. (Maaaybe.)
3596568
Hence the reason i had Bloom ask why he had to cook
3597592 because she has no servants or cook
3597592 your making Rich to rich, it's believed he's rich in ponyvill but he's only rich anorth to live a good life
3597949
At this point it's all up to the individuals headcannon, since the show doesn't really...show DT's home life. I like portraying her as incredibly rich, while portraying AB to be relatively poor (though that's probably untrue seeing as how the Apple Family has a monopoly over apples) because I like how it makes them contradict each other, completely opposite, etc.
3598061 ok, can you make a chapter to explain how there living because it's like your missing a chapter, i ask this as "where are they staying and dose there family know about this?" came to mind after reading it, chapter 1 and chapter 2 are a corpul of days apart, I know Applebloom is living with Diamond but why is Apple Jack fine with this if she knows or are they lieing to her and Rich, he's got 3 filly's in his home so he must of worked it out.
i do love this story so far X3
3598139
If I do make another chapter it really should explain what's going on with the apple family and Filthy Rich. The only reason I made this second chapter was out of boredom, wanted to make a one shot and Telaros suggested making a second chapter. I figured why not. If a third chapter comes out it will most likely be because of Telaros nagging me.
3598422 ok
3598422
Obvious implication being that everyone should nag Telaros to nag Mattricole Don't tell Telaros I said that.
3594178 ...YES
3593847
Your avatar makes that comment perfect.
3594178
That's exactly the kind of humor they would use too, congratulations!
Can't... Breathe...
Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp...
How about if I nag you to death to write another chapter? You know, more power in numbers, right?
Point is, as ridiculous and insane as this is, it's funny and honestly very cute. It's decently written and has a very unique idea I honestly have not seen before. I honestly wouldn't mind writing something like this myself, since you gave me a great idea. But, point is, I like it a lot and would love to see another chapter, should you ever choose to do one.
What? What kind of example is bribing the teacher?
Anyway, faving just in case you produce more.
3751323
Honestly, I'm not sure if there will be another chapter, the only thing I do know is that Diamond Tiara Likes Dating Sims is updating today.
3724778
Well, I do got something written, but it leads into another chapter. So I'm gonna hold off on uploading it until the next part is done, then I'll decide if it's a two parter or combine the two for a longer chapter.
EDIT: Decided to make the next chapter just a short scene, so it'll probably be uploaded sometime tomorrow after editing.
Diamond Tiara isn't a very good influence but she tries and she loves her daughter. i find that adorable!
I simply must get Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle's perspective on this oddly adorable family pairing.
One question. Is DT and AB physically involved as a couple, beyond kissing and sleeping in the same bed?
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/552/780/93c
wat?