“Daddy, where do babies come from?” Diamond Tiara asked her father one day.
“Oh, uh, why do you ask, sweetie?” Filthy Rich asked with a cough. Don’t tell me they’re already talking about this in school? he asked himself.
“No reason, just curious,” Diamond Tiara replied as she took another bite out of her cereal.
“Oh, I see,” Filthy said, rubbing his chin. Well, I suppose a little white lie wouldn’t hurt, I don’t want to scare my little diamond. “You see, Diamond Tiara, you buy babies!”
“You...buy them?” Diamond Tiara asked, raising her eyebrow in confusion.
“That’s right. You go to a special place, and you buy your very own child!” Filthy said with a smile, patting Diamond Tiara on the head.
Diamond Tiara swatted away her dad’s hoof and got up from the table. “Okay, geez! You don’t have to rub my head like a magic lamp!”
“Well, have a nice day at school sweetie!” Filthy called out as his daughter left the house. “Well, hopefully I won’t have to deal with the talk anytime soon,” he said to himself, taking a sip of his morning coffee.
“Stupid daddy, always ruining my beautiful hair,” Diamond Tiara muttered to herself as she began the long trek to school.
“Bye, Miss Jalapeno!” Diamond Tiara turned and spotted Scootaloo waving at a old lady, and quickly dashing off to school.
“Have a nice day, Scootaloo!” the old mare called back with a smile.
Huh, what’s this place? Diamond Tiara asked herself as she walked towards the old looking house. “Excuse me, ma’am,” Diamond Tiara called out, causing Jalepeno to turn to her.
“Yes? How may I help you my child?” Jalapeno smiled gently.
“I was just wondering, what is this place?” Diamond Tiara asked as she pointed at the house, seeing a large sign that read “orphanage”.
“Oh, this is a orphanage my child,” Jalapeno replied. “It’s a place where adults can adopt a foal in need, who doesn’t have parents to look out for them.”
“Adopt? So, this is like a baby market?” Diamond Tiara asked, causing Jalapeno to laugh.
“Well, I suppose you could say that!” She said as she wiped away some tears. “But we have more than just babies, you saw Scootaloo, correct?” she asked, getting a nod from Diamond Tiara. “She’s one of our older orphans. Poor dear hasn’t had the happiest life I’m afraid.”
Scootaloo doesn’t have parents? Diamond Tiara thought as she rubbed her chin in thought. “So, since Scootaloo doesn’t have parents, can I buy her?”
“What?!” Jalapeno yelled out. “Oh no, I’m sorry but you are far too young for adoption, miss!”
“I have money!” Diamond Tiara said as she took out a bag of bits.
“I’m sure you’ll make a terrific mother,” Jalapeno said as she handed over the adoption papers and took the rather large bag of bits from Diamond Tiara, “I have a feeling you’ll make Scootaloo very happy!”
“Thank you Miss Jalapeno!” Diamond Tiara said as she shook Jalapeno's hoof. Taking a glance at the adoption papers with a smirk, she quickly trotted off to school. “I’m going to be the best mother ever,” she said to herself, unable to control her fit of giggles.
“Oh, Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara called out as she found Scootaloo in front of the schoolhouse. Scootaloo quickly turned around and frowned.
“Oh great, what do you want?”
“Oh, Scootaloo, that hurts!” Diamond Tiara said, wiping away a fake tear. “Is that anyway to talk to your mother?”
“My WHAT?!” Scootaloo screamed out, glaring at Diamond Tiara. “You are NOT my mother!”
“Actually, according to this,” Diamond Tiara said as she took out the adoption papers, shoving them in Scootaloo’s face, “I am indeed your mother!”
“W-what!” Scootaloo screamed as she stared at the adoption papers. “W-why would you adopt me?!” Scootaloo asked, unable to comprehend what was going on.
“Oh, I just wanted to give you a loving home!” Diamond Tiara smiled as she hugged her daughter. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you!”
“...I think I’m going to kill myself,” Scootaloo said to herself, cradling her head.
“Alright, girls!” Scootaloo yelled out as she got on her scooter. “Let’s go crusading!”
“Hold it right there, young lady!” Diamond Tiara called out as she rushed over. “I, as a responsible mother, will not let you endanger yourself!”
“Wait, what?” Apple Bloom turned to Scootaloo. “What does she mean by ‘mother’?”
“Nothing, look, mom, I can do whatever I-”
“How dare you take that tone with me young lady!” Diamond Tiara quickly bit down on Scootaloo’s ear and started to drag her away. “You are grounded for a week young lady!”
“Hey! You’re embarrassing me in front of my friends. Stop it!” Scootaloo cried as she tried to break free, to no avail.
“When your father gets home, he is going to-”
“What father?! You’re not married, mom!” Scootaloo cried as she rubbed her ear.
“Is she seriously calling Diamond Tiara ‘mom’ now?” Sweetie Belle asked Apple Bloom.
“Looks like it,” Apple Bloom sighed as she took off her helmet. “Looks like we’re not crusadin' today Sweets,” Apple Bloom said as she started her way back home, only to be stopped by Diamond Tiara.
“Apple Bloom, wait!” Diamond Tiara said as she put her hooves on Apple Bloom’s shoulders. “Scootaloo’s right. She doesn’t have a father.”
“Ah don’t either,” Apple Bloom replied, causing Diamond Tiara to groan.
“She doesn’t have a family. Don’t you feel bad at all?”
“Well, yeah, ah feel bad, but what do you want me to do about it?”
“Don’t you see, Apple Bloom? This is our chance to put our differences aside, to mend the soul of a broken child, to heal her heart from despair, and fill it with love!”
“Oh sweet Celestia, this is so romantic,” Sweetie Belle squee’d, smiling as she knew exactly what Diamond Tiara was meaning to say.
“What I’m trying to say is will you do me the honor,” Diamond Tiara began as she took Apple Bloom’s hoof in hers, “of being my bride?”
“Uh...what?” Apple Bloom asked as she rubbed her head in confusion.
“Together, we can give Scootaloo the home she deserves!” Diamond Tiara exclaimed as she hugged her child, who was still pouting. “Help me, Apple Bloom, if not for me, then for her.”
“Ah don’t know, Diamond, it’s just…” Apple Bloom trailed off, trying to think of the pros and cons. On one hoof, she was too young to marry, plus there was no way she could take care of a child, especially when that child was Scootaloo. On the other, Diamond Tiara was one of the prettiest mares in Ponyville, plus she’d be marrying into wealth.
“So, Apple Bloom, what do you say?”
“Well…alright,” Apple Bloom said as she held Diamond Tiara’s hoof. “Let’s be the best parents we can be!”
“I’m still trying to figure out how she adopted me,” Scootaloo muttered to herself. This was going to bother her all day.
“I don’t want to go to bed!” Scootaloo said as she was tucked in by Diamond Tiara.
“Aw, but sweetie, you have school in the morning, and you need to be well rested.”
“It’s seven! It’s way too early for bed!”
“Now don’t you use that tone with me, young lady!” Diamond Tiara scolded, causing Scootaloo to grunt.
“Sorry, mom.”
“That’s my little sugar biscuit,” Diamond Tiara cooed as she tucked in Scootaloo and kissed her on the forehead. “Good night, my little princess!”
“I don’t want to be a princess!” Scootaloo complained, causing Diamond Tiara to giggle.
“Right. Good night, my little knight.”
“Good night, mom!” Scootaloo said as she watched Diamond Tiara leave her room. She snuggled into her bedsheets with a sigh, until she realized what she said and smacked herself. “WHY AM I CALLING HER MOM?!”
Meanwhile, Diamond Tiara finally came into her room and laid down in bed, next to Apple Bloom.
“So, how is she?” Apple Bloom said as she read her book about building carts. Ooh, this one’s made o’ mahogany! she thought to herself as she turned the page.
“Our little Scootaloo’s comfy. At least, I hope so,” Diamond Tiara said as she snuggled into her bed.
“Well, that’s good. Ah just hope she doesn’t sneak out,” Apple Bloom said as she continued reading her book.
“Oh please. As if she would do that!” Diamond Tiara snorted. “She wouldn’t sneak out...right?”
“...Hold on let me check,” Apple Bloom said, getting out of bed and making her way to Scootaloo’s room. “Sorry to wake you, sweetie, but…” Apple Bloom stared at the empty bed, before moving her eyes to the open window with a blanket hanging out of it. “...Diamond’s gonna kill her.”
Scootaloo slowly entered back into her room, a duffel bag in hoof as she slowly crept towards her bed.
“That was way too easy,” she said to herself as she unzipped her duffel bag.
“And what exactly was ‘too easy’, young lady!” Diamond Tiara growled as she turned on the lights. “Gah, my eyes!”
“Argh, why did you do that?!” Scootaloo whined as she felt her eyes tearing up from the sudden light.
“Ah told you that wasn’t a good idea,” Apple Bloom muttered as she rubbed her eyes, “but no, ya wanted a dramatic effect!”
“Not now, Apple Bloom!” Diamond Tiara growled as her eyes finally stopped burning. “Now, just where in Equestria were you, young lady?!” Diamond Tiara yelled as she grabbed Scootaloo’s ear.
“Ow, Mom, that hurts!” Scootaloo whined as she tried to free her ear.
“Diamond, stop that!” Apple Bloom ordered as she pulled the two apart. “Please, calm down, honey. Let’s hear her out.”
“Grr, fine!” Diamond Tiara snapped as she went to sit back down.
“Now, Scoots, why did you run off like that? You had us worried sick!”
“I was just picking something up from the orphanage. It’s...the only thing I have left,” Scootaloo said as she picked up a teddy bear, with a red heart that read “I Love You” stitched on it.
“Oh, Scootaloo, why didn’t you say anything?” Diamond Tiara said as she hugged her daughter. “We could have picked that up if you wanted.”
“Sorry, mom, it’s just...I didn’t want anypony to know,” Scootaloo said as she stared at the teddy bear. “I mean, it’s so...girly.” She blanched as she tossed it on her bed. “It’s the only stuffed animal I won at the claw machines though, so I didn’t want to lose it.”
“Claw machines? Really?” Apple Bloom groaned, “Ya have got to be-”
“It’s okay, sweetie. I understand,” Diamond Tiara said as she nuzzled into Scootaloo’s hair, causing Apple Bloom to gag,. “Those games are very difficult, and you deserve to relish in your victory.”
“Thanks, mom,” Scootaloo said as she hugged Diamond Tiara back. “Does this mean I’m not grounded?”
“Oh Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara laughed as she pulled away from Scootaloo, gazing lovingly at her, “you’re grounded for the rest of the month.”
“What?!”
“The fact of the matter is you ran away from home,” Diamond Tiara said as she ushered Scootaloo into bed and tucked her in. “You’re lucky it’s only a month. I wanted to ground you for the rest of the year but your father thought that was too harsh.”
“Grounding her fer a month is ridiculous,” Apple Bloom sighed. “And ah thought we agreed she’s grounded fer a week?”
“Month, week, whatever!” Diamond Tiara grumbled. “Alright, fine, a week,” she said as she kissed Scootaloo on the cheek. “Promise you won’t run away again?”
“Promise,” Scootaloo grumbled, unhappy that her week of crusading was ruined.
“Good night, Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara said as she walked out of the room.
“Good night, Scoots!” Apple Bloom said as she rubbed the top of Scootaloo’s head. “If yer real good, Ah’ll talk yer mother into ungrounding ya,” she whispered, causing Scootaloo to grin.
“Goodnight, mom; Goodnight, dad,” Scootaloo sighed as her parents left the room. She snuggled into her blankets, getting comfy as sleep came to her. It wasn’t until she was just about to fall asleep that she realized...something. She slapped herself once again in anguish.
“I called her mom again, didn’t I?”
WHY DIAMOND TIARA WHY
... I have no idea what just happened...
I think it is sweet that Diamond Tiara wants to take care of Scoots, strange, but sweet.
I'm not sure what I just read... but I think I enjoyed it...
it good but why stop
Mattricole please add more chapters for this story or make a sequel for this story because i want to see how Scootaloo grow up with Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom being they adoptive daughter with Slice of Life in it
What in the name of god did I just read?
I think it might have been an awesome story
Omg! This is great!
Write more, please!
nice, very nice… i cannot comment yet i am faving it
3527541 you and me both. but i found this funny
This story is so funny
You know those kind of stories that just give you that awkward/funny feel inside WELL THIS IS ONE OF THOSE STORIES
In the infamous words of David Tennant
Hoofs, hands, claws, paws, etc. up for you! Sincerely enjoy it.
3527950 today is the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who
3527950
im sorry what
Very sweet.
I"m torn between wanting to laugh, d'aww from the feels, and turn my head so far in confusion that I look like an owl. I'ma follow this.
3528416 dude, i'm right there with you.
Edit: i just wish it was going to be continued....
3527541 All the best possible things. That's what.
And omg Matt, you already know how much I been clamoring on about this, but dang, really hope you add chapters to this! xD
This is a whole universe potential in its own right. So many silly things can come of this. I love this setup! Filthy Rich's reaction when he learns he has a second dautghter or how that conversation went would be priceless on its own, now you got Apple Bloom marrying into money with DIamond Tiara and oh man. <insert all of yesterday's skype talks> would all be amazing xD
Feature box this. NOAW!
Someone just paste it on there. THIS INSTANT! XD
Cute and silly but this really needs a RANDOM tag please. That is the only way it would make sense.
This needs the Random tag because it is frankly absurd. Hilarious, but absurd.
3528764>>3528727
Done, thanks for the input.
This was just hilarious. I'm impressed at just how many ridiculous situations you managed to have flow into one another! I'd love to see what Filthy Rich makes of his suddenly being a grandfather!
3528287 yes I have my tv on BBC america
3528896 what do you think about the day of the doctor because I think it great
3528922 It's about to come on in about 24 min. Have you seen it?
3528967sorry because it was on like 2:50 est and it will be on again soon
3528986 I'm glad the the brought back david and rose (godmode)
3529007 I really liked David as the doctor but rose is not in this movie just so you now
3529020 but she was in the trailer
3529025 I don't want to spool it I'm just saying don't get you hopes up
3529031 i'll message you what i think of it. it's on now
3529025 if you want to talk about the after PM me
How delightfully silly!
"On the other, Diamond Tiara was one of the prettiest mares in Ponyville, plus she’d be marrying into wealth."
While I'm sure Applejack wouldn't encourage gold digging, I can't help but think she'd approve of Appleblooms practicality.
Of course the "adoption" isn't legally binding & eventually someone is going to point that out to the little family. Until then, the adults are probably getting a huge kick out of this.
Sequel! Now!
3529180 Well, DT does have the official adoption papers so...
The only way DT is getting Scoots taken away is if the gov't deems her unfit to raise a child.
3527706
Eh, I'm no good at multi chapter stories. I might add another chapter, but as of now, I kinda doubt it.
3529300 ok
normally i don't read DT stories unless she is going punished or something. yet, this light side story was rather amusing. i would have loved to see mr. rich's reaction to this.
Continue...
*Sees story title*
...I must read.
More?
I... am at a loss for words.
Why do drugs when you've got stories like these? I guess that's why they call them crack pairings.
you should make It into a series! Please MORE!
WHAT THE HELL DID JUST READ! AND WHY DO I LOVE IT SOOOOOO MUCH!
I... I just can't... I wont... Just... No...
What is.... I dont even..
XD
I'd like to see this continued.
I don't know how the events of this story made sense, all I know is that I loved it!