When Friends are Said and Dun

by xenos29

Chapter 35

The temporary river proved to be a relaxing, if slightly revolting, sight when the latest slurry of plant pieces floated below Twilight. Watching the stringy, green chunks bobbing up and down in the current wasn't the most appetizing sight, but it slowly proved to be reassuring as Twilight leaned against the bridge. So far, the ponies had seen no other creatures, much to their relief. They hadn't seen Princess Celestia’s group either, but that was to be expected. They were no doubt busy disposing of everything that had washed downstream. A thought crossed Twilight's mind to continue down to the reservoir, but realized that if any of the creatures had survived intact, somepony should be waiting for them here.

Alpenglow, Spike, Pinkie, and Luna were quietly leaning against the railing as well. Occasionally, one of them would twist their head back to look for the others, only to turn back around and shrug. Before long, Pinkie and Spike began skipping stones on the river. Because of the current, they never made it far, but Pinkie had a talent for making the stones practically dance on the water. Soon, everypony was doing it or, at the very least, trying. With a casual flick of her hoof, Luna sent one far up the stream, where it skittered for a moment before sinking. Alpenglow managed to get one decent skip before the current stopped his stone cold. Picking up a nicely shaped one, Twilight carefully aimed her hoof and threw. With a breathtakingly lame plop!, it splashed and sank straight to the bottom.

"Masterfully done, Twilight," said Luna with a hardly-stifled chortle, soon repeated by Pinkie and Spike.

Twilight gave an annoyed groan, and with a pout, eased her head onto the railing. "There’s no reason that shouldn’t have worked! I accounted for the angle, the surface tension of the water, even the change in viscosity because of the plant pieces!"

With angel-like innocence, Pinkie pointed out, "Didn't a bubble once save you from a super long fall when the hydra was chasing us?"

"Yes, but..."

"I rest my case!"

Twilight sighed, "It just doesn't make sense."

"Nothing we do makes sense! But that's the fun of it! Who needs coherence? Writers and narrators, that's who!"

"You are an enigma, Pinkamena," Luna said with skyward eyes.

If Pinkie had knuckles, she would've been blowing on them. "I try," she said with a mysterious air.

Spike laughed heartily, "Not even you can predict everything that's gonna happen, Twilight!"

She glanced at Alpenglow.

"No...I guess not."

Spike was first to spot everypony else coming from the reservoir. Without a second to lose, he hopped from Alpenglow’s back, and made a dash for Rarity as Celestia’s group approached the bridge.

With the enthusiasm everypony had come to expect, Spike hugged her tight. "Rarity! Are you alright? Is everypony ok?"

"Thank you, Spike, I’m fine," she said, warmly returning the hug. "We’re all just fine."

"I don’t think I’m gonna complain about weeding around the farm any time soon," chuckled Applejack.

"What happened?" asked Twilight.

"A lot of the plant chunks got stuck at the bottom of the river," replied Rainbow. "A few of ‘em grew back together. Let’s just say it got kinda...messy."

Rarity then carefully wrung her mane dry. "And let us never speak of it again."

"And thanks to Fluttershy, we won’t have to worry about those things, either," added Applejack. "The way she lead this one group'a critters, you woulda thought she was some kinda wicked witch."

"Sorry to disagree, Applejack," muttered Fluttershy, "but it was nothing, really. I’m just glad they managed to hide from Blight for so long, and they were more than happy to have some fresh greens to eat."

Applejack playfully nudged Fluttershy. "Wallop my withers, even during catastrophes, you’re still so darn agreeable."

Fluttershy bashfully hid behind her mane. "I’m not being agreeable…but I can be if you want me to."

Suddenly, Alpenglow cupped his face, doubled over, as if sick. Twilight went to see what was wrong with him, but as she stooped down to have a look, the stallion lost control of full-blown laugh. Pinkie’s eyes lit up in understanding, and she threw herself to the ground in a fit of snort-riddled chortling. Eyebrows raised, everypony regarded the pair, dumbfounded, until they finished. "Alright, let’s go," Alpenglow said, shaking his head as he and Twilight took the lead on the dirt path that fed into town.

As they walked, Twilight couldn't help but say, "That was the last thing I was expecting from you, Alpenglow."

"Can't say I was expecting it either, Twilight." He looked off to the side. "It’s been a while since I felt good enough to do that."

"Did you always make a habit of laughing in situations like these?" inquired Luna.

"I might laugh at danger, but that doesn't mean I think it's a joke. You taught me how to get over my fears, Luna. Sometimes that means pushing it to the back of your mind to deal with later, other times it means laughing it all out as it comes."

Looking at Pinkie, Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Fine by me, just as long as you don’t start singing."

"Huh?"

Fluttershy giggled. "I guess you could say that was before your time."

The bridge and their successful crossing fading behind them, the group watched as downtown Ponyville slid out of the fog, an eerie corridor of warped buildings that constructed itself as they walked down the vine-covered street. The town looked and felt ill, with every familiar shop and house calling to Twilight's attention like exhibits on a twisted tour of the new Ponyville. It was necessary to urge Rarity forward as they passed Carousel Boutique, then Pinkie as they passed Sugarcube Corner. The delightful building, even now a focal point of the town, had the look of a moldy gingerbread house.

Twilight pulled her eyes forward and the buildings out of sight. They were all in Blight’s world now, one he would certainly make a living nightmare for them, if they weren't careful.

Town hall now loomed dead ahead- rather, a lumpy tower of vines that just happened to share its shape did. As the ponies pressed on, the street seemed to narrow, the buildings leaned over them, and Twilight felt they were being forced through a tube. In another eerie development, most of the vines she saw early on had disappeared, adding to her anxiety.

"Everypony alright?" asked Alpenglow.

"Yeah…" said Applejack as she hopelessly tried to peer around the hall and at the other side of town. What she was looking for, Twilight didn't have to guess.

Spike wondered aloud, "Ever feel like you moved away, but nopony told you?"

"I hear you, Spike," answered Alpenglow. "It'll take some time, but you'll all get to go back. And it'll be just like before. This is only temporary."

"It is strange," admitted Rarity. "So familiar, yet alien…and quiet."

"Boy, does that sound familiar," said Rainbow, eyeing the houses suspiciously, the sword Alpenglow had given her at the ready.

"Be careful, everypony," Princess Celestia warned. "We’ve made it this far, but we have no idea what Blight has planned next for us."

At best, the ponies’ blissful ignorance lasted ten seconds longer. As they approached an intersection, with all streets walled off by thorny hedges, the ground shook once more, and vines came out to play. They burst from every doorway, window, and hole in the ground, flash-flooding the street.

Princess Celestia shouted, "Everypony, to me!"

Leaping next to and around the Princess, the ponies watched anxiously as the vines arched high in the air, poised to strike. With a last-second yank, the guards pulled the box as close as possible, and a bubble of light engulfed everypony. It was nerve-racking, the sight of the vines raining down, but instead of bouncing off like Twilight expected, the vines simply disappeared as they touched it, like sticks of butter poking a hot buzz saw. The vines entered one side of the shield, but didn’t exit out the other.

"Aw yeah, good one, Princess!" Rainbow cheered as the shield dropped. The vines, their tips all mysteriously missing, reeled back.

Alpenglow barked, "Smoke Jumper, troopers, protect the box! The rest of us will clear the way!"

Splitting into teams of two, the ponies went house by house, cutting vines down to size, locating seeds, and methodically disposing of them. It was a grueling task, for every room was covered in vines, and had to be cleared before moving on to the next. Twilight and Applejack had just finished with a seed inside the quills and sofa shop when Spike appeared at the front door.

"You guys! Out here, quick!"

Racing out the door, Twilight saw how with the nearby seeds destroyed, the hedges blocking their way had broken down into soil, replaced by one final, enormous snake of vines. The lumpy, green serpent was occupying another shop across the street, its body weaving within and around the remains of the building like a worm in an apple. Its flower "head" bobbed back and forth near the chimney, and while it had the telltale burns from magical attacks, its nest had proven to be an effective shield.

Two of the royal guards were lying in the middle of the road, paralyzed, while Smoke Jumper was waving Twilight and Applejack over to join everypony in surrounding the creature. Rainbow and Alpenglow had ducked into the alleys on either side of the shop, out of sight, as Pinkie, Smoke Jumper, and the princesses approached the front of the building, baiting the creature. Fluttershy, no doubt a willing volunteer, was quivering just behind the four of them.

Twilight ran to Princess Celestia's side, and the beast made its move. With deceptive speed, it leapt from its stronghold and lunge forward, its flower gaping like an unhinged jaw when it dove for the three princesses. They dove to the left, and the flower buried itself in the cobblestone road.

In a blur of movement, Applejack unslung, readied, and launched her lasso. The honey-colored rope sailed gracefully through the air, wrapped around the beast’s upper body, and brought it to keel in front of everypony. No sooner had it hit the ground, than Applejack secured the lasso to a nearby lamppost.

The flower thrashed about, but everypony quickly piled onto it, and with practiced precision, Rainbow and Alpenglow flew from their hiding places, and at the same time, brought their swords down hard on the thickest segment of the thorny mass. When the steel met the plant, its vines split apart like a rotting mushroom, smelled like one too, and as the two pegasi finished cleaving their way through, it sprayed everypony with sap and splinters. The sound Rarity made defied description.

Headless and outnumbered, the remaining stump slithered back into the crater that sat inside the building. The ponies climbed off the flower and its severed tip, and for a moment just stood there, catching their breath.

"Awe...some! shouted Rainbow, hoof-bumping Alpenglow and Pinkie.

"Speak for yourself," whimpered Rarity, desperately trying to wipe herself off, "Why does saving the world have to be so...messy? Ohhh...What did I do to deserve this?!" she howled. Thankfully, Fluttershy was quick to move to her side and begin scraping off the sap with a stick.

Applejack laughed as she shook her hat dry. "That sure was somethin. Now let's never do it again."

"Agreed," said Luna.

Alpenglow knelt down, taking a moment to inspect the lifeless vine. "Guess we can’t be friends now."

"So now what?" asked Rainbow.

Twilight scanned the newly-cleared street. "I think we're ok to head into town hall."

Smoke Jumper stooped down to examine the box and her frozen comrades. "Your Highnesses, once we get them unstuck, we should move-"

The piece of vine erupted in berserk convulsions, and with a final defiant, vicious gesture, slammed into Smoke Jumper. The force of the hit sent the royal guard flying into the box, and she hadn’t even hit the ground when Luna reduced the vine to a sappy stain and everypony rushed to Smoke Jumper’s side. She quickly moved to stand up, but her front right hoof slipped and folded underneath her weight. She collapsed in a heap.

"Are you kidding me?!" Smoke Jumper shouted angrily. As her pegasus partner and Applejack stood her up, Twilight examined the injured unicorn. Taking a splint and bandage from Alpenglow’s bag, she quickly wrapped the battered leg. The guard took a couple of uneasy steps, frowning. "I’m fine," she grumbled.

With a friendly casualness, Alpenglow placed his hoof on her shoulder. "You will be, trooper…tomorrow. Today, you’re going home."

"He’s right," said Luna. "We are close enough to carry the box ourselves. Gather up the others and make your way out as quickly as you can."

Smoke Jumper grumbled, but with Twilight and Rarity’s help, she quickly unloaded the box from the trolley and in its place, laid her paralyzed friends onto the wooden plank bed as Princess Celestia quickly began to unthaw them. Their stiff limbs finally eased onto the trolley, though they were effectively still rag dolls. Still fuming, Smoke Jumper and her pegasus partner strapped into the harness and began the walk out of Ponyville. As they left, Twilight couldn’t help but feel relieved for them, and strangely regret having never asked the pegasus guard his name.

The box now in the magical tow of the princesses, the ponies turned to face their ultimate goal.