PaladinColt
Joined 14th Sep, 2013 ·
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Pretty good so far, some spelling mistakes, but not bad
You need to work on your lavender unicorn syndrome. Don't worry, it's something I am still cleaning up with my first story.
Pretty much, just call them by their names. Don't do pegasus, or Princess, or anything. Just use their name.
Our minds are trained from the language to simply see it as a symbol of who is speaking or receiving what.
You also need to work on your descriptions a bit. Despite this being long the sex feels rushed and a tad bland. Variety is the spice of life!
A good first effort though!
3534399 please specify the spelling mistakes so I can change them
Good chapter except for Soarin fucking Flash in the ass.
interesting, but too inappropriate
3534737
Please don't be like EQD. It's perfectly fine to call them by something other than their names, just not too much.
3536732 Ehh. The less the better. It was what I learned when I did the first and second edition of Ethanol, Elements, and Estrogen. It can throw off your brain. I'm much more accepting of it in other writings than my own, but during intimate scenes it can crack the moment.
3536097 And what are you talking about? That's amazing. Colt cuddling FTW.
3536097 Well I did say bisexual themes
3536286 If you read, it says mature, sex.
This was a great clopfic. followed*
3565124 thanks... Im starting to think the dislike are because people hate Flash Sentry... but i must admit, it does have some faults
Hot! Thumbs up!
not a fan of the gay clop,but the way it was placed amongst the orgy, I barely noticed it. It was well done. Plus it had Flash, which I think is a pony that needs more character development outside EqG. Nice work, and I'd love to see more.
Not sure why this has so many dislilkes, there are no major flaws in the grammar or execution and it is exactly what the summary says it is so no reason to hate as far as i can see
3613611 I guess the only reason why people hate this is because of Flash Sentry
Loved it all, except the gay buttfuck
3964073 I did say beware of Bisexuality..
3964312 you did
60th Like, LIKE A BOSS!
I like this story. I'm not a fan of a guy fucking another guy, but I'm good with what Twilight and Rainbow did. I mostly skipped the part where Flash and Soarin did that butfuck, but it was still good.
y so gay?
3614025 sadly yes but true
and I like flash anyway, so theirs that...
4690243 you were warned
4643974 Did the same thing to.
4690469 true true
I......l...I'm ok with this.
*chokes on bacon*
4739543 your picture is hilarious
Me: what the hell did i just read
3964073 same, I was hoping he would remove that
WHY DID I READ THIS AND LIKE IT?!
5867716 I have no idea with you.
Can I please barf now?
...
Hot.
I'm okay with these four being together. It had some spelling grammar issues here an there, but all i all, an entertaining read~
Okay, here's your big problem with this story:
Soarin and RD basically engaged in borderline rape. They forced Twilight and Flash to have sex without their consent, and repeatedly ignored them when they tried to say no. This makes this story very unsettling at first, even if it turned out all right at the end.
Remember, "no" always means "no." "I'm not sure" means "no."
soooo Soarin went from Flash's ass to RD's pussy..... congratulations you just gave RD a uti....