Twilight took another petite sip of her tea. "So I was hoping you might know something about magic vampires, Zecora. Unfortunately, the Royal Canterlot Library didn't have any mentions of them." Twilight sighed. "Even after I used a time travel spell to retrieve a bunch of important ancient texts all those years ago, it seems like there's still so many limits to pony knowledge."
Zecora took a sip of her own tea. "My homeland does have a few stories on the subject, though their accuracy is not perfect."
"All myths have some truth. I'm sure whatever you could tell me would help."
Zecora put a hoof to her chin. "There is a tale of a zebra mare, known far and wide as kind and fair. One day she went to gather fruit alone, in a forest where dark things had once grown. In the forest she got lost, and across a clear spring she happened to cross. To cure her fatigue she decided to bathe, and in this, the spring did aid." Zecora leaned in. "But as she bathed she fell asleep, and as she slept, her magic and soul began to seep. All her powers eventually leaked free. Some say it was absorbed by plant and tree."
"And what happened to her?"
Zecora turned to stare at a shelf. "She eventually found her way back, but of magic and energy, she had a lack. Her husband offered to lend her some of his own. She refused, but he convinced her to take this loan. Magic regenerates, as you know, and for a time it was easy to let go. Neither had their full supply, but they managed to get by."
Zecora turned back. "After a time, that was not enough for her. She sought another zebra to magic transfer. For one as pretty as she, there were many volunteers to agree. She had all the strength she needed and more, and every donor she did adore."
"So what happened to her?"
"Eventually, she had the entire village in her snare. After that, I do not know--the story ends there."
Twilight put down her cup. "Thank you, Zecora," she said humbly. "I had best go. I have a lot more research to do on magic vampires."
Good show! You've taken the deplorable Rarity and turned her into a genuinely compelling and tragic character while having her remain in character! I knew if anyone could redeem her it was you!
I'm really impressed by how you're able able to work realistic flaws into your characters to make them more complete. Twilight in particular is a well-rounded and interesting character. I love that touch of genuine humility when she realizes how much there is still for her to learn.
You're still focusing a bit too much on the less interesting side characters, though. And you forgot to describe Twilight's appearance in enough detail. We're on the clear that her mane has a subtle but intoxicating scent of lavender, right? Right.
Out Of Character:
There is an "of" missing between these two words.
There is just too much of Zecora talking in this chapter. It is sure noble of Princess Twilight Sparkle to be the first to befriend the social pariah of the town. Everypony could learn a lot from Princess Twilight's example. There is a possibility that that bitch slut rarity is the zebra that Zecora was talking about. Somepony that has lived as long as that biddy, without drawing attention to themselves, would have to constantly change their appearance. Ponies would notice a non-Alicorn that has lived a thousand years. Furthermore, since she can change her appearance, the way she truly looks must be really old and hideous beneath all of that magic and makeup.
I am looking forward to the chapter titled Magical Mystery Twilight, wherein Twilight will become a Double Princess with four wings and two horns.
3609147 I'd say its more likely that the vampirism was passed on to her. This Zebra woman likely came into town and was shunned by the hateful citizens of Ponyville, and only one lone unicorn would even talk to her. This makes Rarity an even more tragic figure, her innocence stolen by a creature of darkness, trying forever to regain her light and having to steal from others to shine anew! Oh, poor sweet Rarity, this world is not good enough for you, having to steal what should come to you easily, unlike some ponies who shall remain nameless.
3609285 More likely rarity found someone that her magical talking mirror said was prettier than she was, and being the cannibalistic witch she is, decided to devour the unsuspecting zebra. Unbeknownst to rarity, combining her satanic lust magic with the magic of an eternal zebra, would twist her grotesque form into something even more horrible: fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/205/6/2/nightmare_rarity_by_mysticalpha-d6ecqsv.jpg
NO! Do not look at it! It is so ugly, you will die!
I see Zecora's magic hasn't been stolen by the Princess of Thieves... yet.
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3609656 She is beautiful...
3609656
Eh, I've seen worse. Have you seen Generation Two?
3609845 You poor thing, she really has you badly hypnotized.
3610028 What I find most surprising is, you think you're not. Think for a moment. Twilight is somehow just better at everything.That is not normal. Rarity got her power by working for it. She planned, she acted like she was less than she was until she had a chance to become greater. She bested Twilight-better-than-you-Sparkle and took her magic. This is a mare deserving of adoration because she earned it. Twilight has never earned anything in her life, it just comes to her.
3610136 That is raw talent seeping out of her. She cannot help the fact that she is automatically great at absolutely everything she does. It is not her fault that whenever she does something for the first time she is instantly an expert. Princess Twilight was just born better. Everything comes to her so easily because she was born deserving of it. If you put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger, the gun would not fire because even the gun would dare not stand in the way of her rightful destiny.
3610343 And yet, Rarity sunk her teeth in that neck, and was not turned away. Which, by your argument, means it was meant to happen. QED
3611375 Twilight found the spell to turn herself into a regular Alicorn, however destiny deemed that even that was not good enough for Princess Twilight Sparkle. Therefore, destiny allowed rarity to steal her mere princesshood so that she may gain the even greater power of Dovahkiin Princess. Even Dovahkiin Princess is not good enough for Princess Twilight Sparkle, she is meant for even greater things.
3608907 It's really more like saffron and vanilla. And if I spent all that time stating the obvious (and why wouldnt it be obvious how amazing and perfect and pretty Twilight is? i mean srsly her body is perfect and her mane is always expertly trimmed and her eyes are amazing) then when would i get to the good parts where she actually does things? and dont worry zecora is so boring that this is like the only time she appears.
3609170 [insert Demitri Martin reference here]
3610343 More like she would deflect the bullet with magic and split second reflexes
3610136 No Rarity is too mean to be clever she got lucky and her raw feral malevolence happened to guide her to a plan shes not good enough to have plans also shes not pretty enough to either
3609968 no Rarity is worse even the smooze (who is a dumb ugly jerk) was better than Rarity
3616047Rarity has to be clever, otherwise Twilight is just incredibly ... not clever. I mean, she managed to outwit Twilight, kidnap one of her friends, and continues to evade capture. If she is incompetent, it makes Twilight even more so that Rarity can best her.
3616872 Obviously Rarity is being stringed along by the real villain of the story, which could explain her seeming competence. Perhaps this villain is Twilight's dark side, separated from her at birth (or when she set off the Sonic Rainboom, granting herself and her friends cutie marks) that she will eventually have to fight in a dramatic battle.
3616074
Lol should've expected that answer
3616872 Luck may be potent, but skill is enduring.
3619936 Shes memorized every book in the library including the maps also the castle is pretty big anyway so it'd be pretty easy to detect since she knows so many location spells
3620865 precisely my point. Twilight is one lucky pony. But Rarity has skill.
Gotta go with steel on this One if you say rarity had no wit then twilight has even less by being out smarted also rarity looks so much better then twilight and she is pretty and kind and generous and the list goes on ( pinkies still best mane 6 pony tho)
3644049 Pinkie is fat I don't like her either. At least she isn't as much of a b-word as Rarity pardon my French
3644994 how could you say that? She likes sweets so what at least pinkie isn't as obsessed with magic and and she isn't fat just because she like sweets in fact I LOVE sweets and I'm one of the skinnier kids at my school
3644994 also, what about vinyl scratch? She obviously best pony!
Rarity became the new Pinkamena except instead of her making cupcakes, she's brainwashing everyone into worshiping her and not Twilight.
I'm getting the feeling that you like twilight
DESTROY THE HERETIC KNOWN AS RARITY!
For the empress!
4643526
Wow really? I wonder what gave you that (obvious) idea.