Excess makes the heart glow yonder
Calling the Shots
The Business Trip
Part 3 - Excess makes the heart glow yonder
An MLP:FiM Fanfic by Midnight Shadow.
***
Twilight sipped angrily at a golden chalice filled with some sort of ruby-red pleasingly alcoholic liquid. It was tart and smooth and slid down her throat. The comfortable cushion was insultingly soft.
“So tell me again, Spike, just why you think I’m going to let you... you...” Twilight waved a hoof in exasperation.
Spike blushed, “It’s not my fault, Twilight! I didn’t know Uncle Quincy would do that! I thought he meant it as an... honorary thing, you know?”
There was a low rumbling and the enormous draconic muzzle drifted into the circle of torchlight, “You don’t wish to be a Celestial Steed?”
Twilight slammed the goblet down with her magic, “No! No I don’t! I want to go back to my library and forget any of this ever happened!”
Quincy withdrew, thoughtfully. Finally he approached the small circle of friends, “I sometimes forget, Madame Sparkle, that there are others in this world with feelings of their own...”
“Then you’ll stop this... Celestial Steed nonsense?” asked Twilight in a hopeful voice.
Quincy shook his head, “It is not I who made the choice, madame. It is a choice between my nephew Spike... and yourself. You care for him, do you not?”
“I... of course I do! Like... a brother, or a friend.” Twilight snorted.
“You have looked after him since he was hatched - Celestia here informs me that your magic itself was instrumental in his hatching?”
Twilight nodded slowly, she could still remember the day when her magic had burst out of control, temporarily turning her parents into potted plants.
Quincy nodded similarly, “A bond was formed that day, Twilight Sparkle. There is only one thing that could break it, and that is a broken heart.”
Twilight grimaced. She would need a lot more drink.
***
Morning broke silently across Leviathania. Golden sunlight poured incessently and rudely in through the wooden shutters of Twilight’s hotel room. She groaned and rolled over.
Not to be outdone, the flaxen fingers spread across the room until the last vestiges of darkness had fled behind the dresser and under the four-poster bed. Twilight groaned, and levitated a third pillow onto her head, jamming it down with thaumatic might.
“Why can’t the sun just stay down until I’m ready to get up!” she groaned, her head exploding, voice muffled by the soft down of some unknown animal.
It wasn’t the sounds of the city outside that made her carefully raise the pillow as much as their sudden and complete absence. She blinked, it was dark. She rose quickly out of bed, staggering slightly as she held a hoof to her aching head for a few moments, and poked the shutters with a forehoof. She opened and shut them experimentally. Still dark.
“I could have sworn... that the sun... oh no. Ooohhh no no no... Princess! Princess Celestia! What have you done?”
Twilight bolted from her room, charging through the doors which splintered into matchsticks as she passed, and clattered down the hallway to where her mentor was staying. She barely knocked before throwing the door open and barging in.
“Twilight,” asked a grumpy lump of an alicorn firmly ensconced in several layers of blankets and furiously snuggling with a worn blue roughly-equine cuddly toy, “don’t you ever knock?”
“But... the sun... went down again... not up... daytime... should be...” the unicorn exclaimed breathlessly.
“Twilight,” Celestia repeated calmly, “do you know how often in the last ten millenia I have had a chance to sleep in? Do you? I don’t think you do. For the last ten thousand years I have had a whole armada of prissy ponies barge in, without fail, every single morning to tell me what time they expect the sun to rise. I go for one teeny tiny holiday and do I get a second to myself to relax? No. No I don’t. You want the sun up? Raise it yourself!”
The purple unicorn found herself lifted bodily up and levitated smartly out the room. The door slammed shut in her face.
Me? thought Twilight to herself, raise the sun? All by myself? Twilight’s eye twitched. She took a deep breath, let it out, and shouted, “Luuunnnaaaaa!”
The young blue alicorn yawned, smacking her lips. She hoofed sleep dust out of her eyes, “Explain again.”
“Celestia, sun, up, down, night, should be day...”
Luna shook her head and face-hoofed, “Explain again, slowly.”
“i woke up as the sun was streaming in through the blinds...”
“It does tend to do that. I’m pretty sure my sister does it on purpose sometimes...” Luna yawned, “so?”
“So I kinda... wished it to go down again. And it did.”
“And?”
“And it hasn’t come back up yet! It’s supposed to be daytime!”
“Then hadn’t you better raise it?”
Twilight’s eye twitched. It had been doing that for the last few minutes, “But... I’m... you... princess... sun...”
“Uh-uh,” Luna shook her head, “don’t look at me. The Union of Celestial Steeds will have a screaming fit if I work outside of my jurisdiction. Truth be told you’re out of your jurisdiction too, but I’m pretty sure they’ll look the other way as you’re not exactly a member and the silly sun doesn’t know it shouldn’t be listening to you in this realm.”
“Union? Celestial Steeds with an ‘s’?”
Luna sighed, “Did my sister really tell you nothing about this entire trip?”
“She, uh, told me that she’d pulled a few strings to get both me and Spike along...”
“it was supposed to be just Spike, Twilight, but my sister hates pulling the wagon...” Luna sighed, “Right, just... go out on the balcony, think of the sun, and... pull it up. Once you give it a nudge it’ll probably settle right into place.”
“Nudge the sun.”
“Yep.”
“Me... Nudge the sun.”
“That’s what I said. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to bed. Up all night, force of habit I suppose.” with that, the mostly-nocturnal alicorn yawned mightily and slunk off. Twilight’s eye twitched as a mad grin split the unicorn’s features in twain. She giggled, she guffawed, she laughed. She walked woodenly like a doll held up by a drunk puppeteer down the hallway until she appeared on a nearby balcony, “just... nudge the sun. Yeah. Flaming ball of gas, millions of tonnes of pure light, heat and energy. Nudge it. Sure, why not. Here’s to nudging the sun.”
Twilight concentrated, and her horn sparked into life. Her mane, heretofore once again muted and coloured the normal pastel shades of Equestrian ponies, lit up like the night sky. Unbelievably, she felt the heady weight of the sun below the horizon. She willed it up, reached out with her mind, pushed it, pulled it, cajoled it... she felt the glorious golden heat of the sun upon her face, warming her body. Despite herself, she thought it felt rather good.
Opening her eyes, she was met by the amazing sight of the first few rays of the second dawn that day bursting from the horizon.
“That...” she blinked, “that went rather well, I think.”
“I’ll say,” yawned Celestia from behind her, “first time I did it, I set all the drapes on fire and almost burned down the entire citadel. I’m amazed it’s only your mane.”
“My what is what?”
“Mane, on fire. Nice sunrise though.”
“My what is what!? Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!” Twilight ran screaming through the hotel and didn’t stop until she’d plunged herself into the bathing pool. From up above, a bleary-eyed baby dragon peered through the banisters.
“Is... is that Twilight?”
“Indeed.”
“Did she set her mane on fire?”
“Looks like it.”
“Right... do you know your mane is pink?”
“Indeed I do.” the pair regarded each other for a second, dragon to alicorn, before Spike turned back to look down at the coughing, spluttering and singed unicorn clambering out of the pool.
“Think she’ll be okay?”
“I think so, Spike. Just... she likes waffles, right?”
“Oh boy does she ever like waffles.”
“I advise you to make them, Spike, with extra syrup. I’ll be,” the alicorn yawned, “in my chambers. Wake me when she stops shouting.”
The baby dragon watched the alicorn trot smartly down the hallway as, below, doors were slammed and a drippingly furious unicorn thundered through the building. He winced at every muted impact. If only, he thought to himself, Twilight had read the guide book.
***
Twilight glowered at the waffle in front of her. Its golden brown deliciousness taunted her, eat me, it said, eat me and feel better.
“I hate you,” she muttered under her breath at the waffle. She levitated it off her plate and bit into it angrily, furiously licking the cream and jam off her muzzle. She hated it, she hated the sweet, yummy, treacherous goodness as it filled her stomach and made her forget all about the pool incident. Even now, the memory was being stolen by the evil machinations of breakfast.
“I made it with extra daisies, Twilight, I know you love daisies.” said Spike cautiously.
“I’m not speaking to you.”
“Aww, Twilight! Come on! It’s not my fault!”
Twilight swallowed the last few pieces of waffle and glowered as the succulent baked goods settled pleasingly in her stomach. She burped, and hiccuped. She glared accusingly at the plate, and then began methodically licking the last of the cream and jam off it.
“We go home soon! Back home! To the library! To your books! You like books, don’t you? We’ve got some new books in, did I say?”
“Still not talking to you. I am not some... some pet!”
“I never said you were, Twilight. You’re my best friend,” Spike wrung his paws together, “I didn’t ask for Quincy to pick me! I only found out about it a few weeks ago!”
Twilight sniffed, “I never treat you like a pet.”
“You did stuff me in that kitty-carrier and trick me into visiting the doctors!”
“That was for your own good! And I’m still not talking to you!” Twilight scowled at the now-shiny plate, but Spike could tell he was getting through to her.
“We’ve got the new mystery novels by Einhorn Sarsaparilla! You like them!”
“Not interested!”
“And the new romance novels by Sanguine Hibiscus...”
“Sanguine Hibiscus?” she raised an ear cautiously.
“The one all the reviewers are going crazy about, I got you... I got you a signed one. I... kinda have contacts.”
Twilight snorted, “You? Contacts?”
Spike looked offended, “Do you know how many books you had me order back at Canterlot, before we moved to Ponyville?” the baby dragon sniffed, “I was going to save it for your birthday, but... I guess I can give it to you when we get back. If you want it, I mean... a signed Sanguine Hibiscus novel, they go for a pretty penny on the ponynets...”
“You got me a signed Sanguine Hibiscus?”
“Hardback, just like you like ‘em, Twi.” Spike nodded.
“Just for...” the unicorn sniffled, and rubbed a hoof in her eyes, “just for me? I... oh Spike I’m sorry! It’s just I... the sun... my mane, the princesses... the dragons... that awful Haywood...” she burst into tears.
Spike expertly ladelled out more waffles onto Twilight’s plate and the sobbing unicorn ate them two at a time as she blubbered. Spike wasn’t really listening, he didn’t have to. Waffles, fresh cream, and jam usually worked wonders. At least she wasn’t... oh dear, there she went. Three at once. Spike sighed, it was going to be a long morning. At least she usually slept after a waffle-binge...
***
Spike lazed in the early afternoon sun, semi-submerged in the pool. He clicked his claws together; out of seemingly nowhere, a lackey appeared. The yellow dragon carried a tray on which was heaped gems and crystal goblets filled with a fizzing liquid. Spike took a few choice morsels from the pile and snagged a couple of glasses. Peering at them, he emptied them out and chewed the lead crystal thoughtfully. There was a splash and he looked up to see Twilight bursting up from under the water like a four-legged seal to lodge herself firmly but comfortably on a submerged lounger.
“Feeling better?” Spike asked tentatively.
“Much,” said Twilight, “still confused though. How does this work?”
“You expect me to know? I thought you were the bookworm!” exclaimed Spike.
“I kind of... burnt the guidebook when I... redecorated the hotel.”
“Don’t they have any more of them?”
“I don’t know, every time I try to ask, I can’t find anypony to ask.”
“Having your hotel redecorated via fire will tend to do that, Twilight.”
“I guess I should apologize.”
“Naa,” Spike yawned, “I’m the emperor. Or I will be. I don’t think emperors have to apologize. Read it in a book once.”
“You? Read it in a book?”
“A comic, okay? Crash Hoofburn, if you must know. The one where he’s captain of the good ship Sea Pony’s Promise and meets the sunken emperor. The emperor’s all Pow! Zap! Boom! and Crash is like Pew Pew Pew and there’s...”
Twilight giggled, and stretched, “Oh Spike, I don’t think comic books and cartoons are good role models for real life at all.”
“Says you, Twilight. Crash has taught me all sorts of things, like how lying is bad and to stay true to yourself, and all sorts of stuff.”
Twilight snorted, and was about to retort when there were two more splashes. Luna and Celestia had dived into the pool, hooves first, and were trotting their way across.
“Celestia...” began Twilight, hesitantly.
“Twilight, my faithful pupil, we’re on holiday. Call me Tia.”
“Tia...” Twilight blinked, changing tack, “why is your mane pink? Why did you choose Pinkie of all ponies as your replacement?”
“No words about Rarity, Twilight?” sniffed Luna, splashing her sister with a wing.
“Rarity makes perfect sense, but Pinkie? She’s... she’s... so random!” Twilight threw her hooves up in the air. Spike wiped the water off his face.
“I guess I could have chosen my nephew, Blueblood, but frankly I don’t like some of his ideas about how my subjects should be treated. He’s far too ambitious for his own good.”
Twilight scrunched her nose up, “Isn’t he that unicorn that Rarity was mooning over?”
“I believe so, but then a lot of ponies do, until they meet him. last I saw of them together, Rarity was spitting cake at him and chasing him out of the ballroom room at the Gala last year. He wanted me to imprison you, you know? For treason? Can you imagine?”
Twilight gulped, and downed an entire glass of the fizzy liquid taken from the tray held by a now-trembling servant.
“Relax, Twilight, I shall be doing no such thing. As I said, he is the most unsuitable pony I could imagine.”
“Why Pinkie though?”
“Miss Rainbow Dash was too busy practicing for the Wonderbolts, Applejack refused flat out, even when I offered her my royal gardners to help buck apples at her farm, and Fluttershy fainted when I sent her the summons. Frankly, Pinkie is a pony I think I can trust with Equestria for a few days. I doubt she can get into all that much trouble.”
The four bathers looked at each other silently for a moment, before Twilight broke the spell, “I... I guess not. You’re probably right. Not with Rarity there to help. Certainly. Probably... I hope. Back to the mane. Why is your mane pink?”
Celestia blushed, “I... have a certain image to maintain, Twilight, so as royal princess of Equestria I have to look my best. Who would pay attention to a pink alicorn? Royal blue, white... more than appropriate. A gloriously multicoloured mane and tail are far more suitable than pink. You know I went through a black phaze a while ago?”
“Don’t remind me,” Luna rolled her eyes, “all gothic arches and lace.”
“So... you just... haven’t bothered to enchant it?” Twilight tried to get the image of Celestia wearing black lace out of her head.
“Not quite, Twilight. You see... I’m not the princess here. You are.”
Twilight’s smile froze on her muzzle. She blinked, “Princess?”
Celestia waved a hoof, “Celestial Steed, emperor dragon as a sponsor... even your own mane...” the alicorn reached out a hoof and tapped Twilight’s horn. Her mane lit up like a Winter Solstice ornament, until a second horn tap turned it off again.
“Did you just... I thought that was a one time thing!”
“You’ll get used to it dear.”
“I glow when I tap my horn? I can tap my horn and my mane glows?”
“Don’t worry, it’ll be a while before it breaks in properly. Thaumic discharge is harmless enough, though it can be a bit embarrassing...” Celestia exclaimed to Twilight, eyes fixed on many years ago.
“It does! I tap my horn, and it glows! I tap it again... it stops... why does my mane glow when I tap my horn?”
“You’ll just have to...” Celestia stopped, and sighed, “Spike, I think we broke Twilight again.”
Twilight’s expression had gone blank. She was repeatedly tapping her horn, setting on and off her ethereal aura.
“Can she, uh, blow a fuse or anything?” asked Spike.
“No, no, just... you gave her waffles last time, right?”
“More waffles?”
“I think you’ll need something a bit more serious this time.”
“Icecream?”
“Icecream.”
***
Twilight twitched and gurgled from where she was firmly wedged, as comfortably as possible, into the bath in the en-suite washroom in the hotel. Several buckets of double chocolate chip fudge icecream rolled around beside her. They were empty, but nopony dared remove them. Even semi-conscious from the combined brainfreeze and sugar-rush, the overly-stressed unicorn had a wicked bite.
“She’ll be okay, right?” asked Spike with a worried tone.
“I’m sure my favourite student will be just fine. Not even five buckets of Frosty Hooves Double-Double Fudge-Choc-Chip Surprise can leave that much of a lasting impact.”
“Seven, it was seven buckets.”
“Oh well,” Celestia sniffed, “still, I think she’ll be fine. Just... keep an eye on her.”
Spike grimaced, he was wondering how many more favours he’d have to call in before she’d speak to him this time.
Twilight opened her eyes. It was dim in the room and the muted sounds of the city as it woke up for the evening were too insistent to ignore, as was the call of nature. Hauling her dairy-filled bulk out of the bath, after several false starts and a lot of cursing, she tried to ignore the fact that her belly reached the floor and that she didn’t quite fit through the door. The fact that she had to use the facilities meant for larger patrons such as dragons was, she convinced herself, only her right. She hiccuped, just how many buckets of ice-cream had she gone through? She had a hazy recollection of counting at least one for each hoof, but she was pretty sure it hadn’t stopped there.
She washed her face up and dried her muzzle off before squeezing herself triumphantly into the corridors of the hotel. “Make way everypony, I take large steps!” she hollered, and scowled as the staff leaped left and right to escape her path. Word travels fast, and the information that the Celestial Steed of the next Dragon Emperor had been given only one complementary chocolate last night, and canned alfalfa for breakfast to top it off, had spread like wildfire.
She stormed into the first class dining room and eased her ice-cream-filled bulk onto the plushest of pillows and glowered at the scrying orb in front of her. The business trip hasn’t quite gone as planned; irritating flies, strange customs, clashing clothing and apparently Celestial Steed Status. She was no hobby! She was... she was apparently a princess now. She idly tapped her horn, and her mane sprung to life again. She scowled at it darkly and tapped her horn a second time. She was still scowling when she felt small claws fastening around her neck. She stiffened for a second, before relaxing and leaning into the hug.
“Oh Spike,” she said, “whatever are we going to do?”
“Well, I was thinking about watching a movie or two, getting some snacks and maybe playing some card games, and then maybe hitting the town. Haywood says he knows the best places to eat.”
“I meant about... this!” Twilight tapped her horn and stars filled the cabin.
“We could turn the audio system to the disco channel..?”
Twilight blinked, looked at Spike for a moment, and then began to laugh. She buried her muzzle in his stomach and sniffled there for a few moments, “You silly baby dragon,” she said, “that’s not what I meant at all.”
Spike ground his feet into the deck, picking at the plush carpet, “I know, but... do we really have to do anything about it? We can go back to the library and Ponyville and pretend none of this ever happened! It’s not like you’ve got set working hours or anything... well you know what I mean.” the dragon blushed hotly at the glare Twilight sent his way, “The princesses will raise the sun and the moon again, Pinkie and Rarity will...”
Twilight chuckled to herself and interrupted, “How much trouble do you think Pinkie is causing as a princess?”
“Oh, I’m sure nothing that Celestia and Luna can’t sort out.”
***
“A little dab here and a spritz there and... oh yes! Much better!” Rarity was humming to herself. She was blatantly ignoring the courtier, now bald, previously of the white mane, formerly of a luscious green flowing mane and tail, as she painted.
“Madame, please... the night sky...”
“Needs a bit of a sprucing up, dare I say? And I dare, for I. Am. Rarity!” the white alicorn with the flowingly perfect celestial-hued mane and tail cast her spell, and the night sky lit up like a million diamonds.
“There! Is it not pretty? Is it not a perfect work of art?”
“Madame, it is indeed...” and the courtier had to give it to her, it was gorgeous, “absolutely stunning... but do we have to see it at two in the afternoon?”
Rarity sniffed, “I don’t think anypony minds. After all, with Pinkie having a solar-powered rave party all last night they never got to see my sky at all. Sometimes I don’t wonder in the slightest why Luna got a little bit... miffed.”
“Miffed? One does not get locked in the moon for a millenium over a minor squabble, madame!” snorted the courtier, stomping a hoof.
“No, sir, one gets locked in the moon for a millenium for irking the princess... and with your tone of voice, dear sir, I am rather irked.”
There was a silent poof as the last of the courtier’s mane left his head to trickle sadly to the ground. He looked at it mournfully, “Your will, my princess.”
“Quite. Now, follow me, we shall begin redecorating immediately.”
There was a strangled exclamation of horror from the unfortunate pony as Princess Rarity, Regent of the Night, led the way back inside Canterlot, out of the half-night-half-mostly-day-when-the-sun-wasn’t-being-turned-off-time, explaining how she had decreed it necessary to celebrate the night more. Everything had to go, she patiently explained, from the drapes to the furniture. No, it didn’t matter that the thrones were three millenia old, she was quite sure suitable replacements could be found.
***
There was a knocking at her hotel room doors. She turned over, moaning in her sleep. The door that had been eased open was slammed shut as Twilight exercised her telekinetic powers.
Outside the room came a solid thud followed by a series of semi-audible complaints and the door was slammed open. A purple and green form commando-rolled in, followed by a large, buzzing creature.
“Hey Toots, you up?” Haywood called, and easily dodged the precision-aimed pillow that flew across the room towards him, “She’s up. Rise and shine your celestialness, time for a party!”
“It’s not a party, Twilight... well it kind of is. It’s for you. Well, for me, but... also for you.”
“Ugh!” snorted Twilight, appearing in the doorway to her bedroom, “Must I? And I suppose I have to wear one of those ridiculous outfits again, too?”
***
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A solar-powered rave... I can dig it.
And the bit with Twilight's horn, I laughed. She's a Tap-On
Twilight's Amazing Activatable/Deactivatable Mane. I love it.
Wow.. I remember first reading this soooo long ago. Nice to see the update though. :)
2791730
I actually wrote that update something over a year ago - hell, it might have been 18 months or more. It's been sitting in my documents ever since then and I thought, hey, since K.o.D is referencing it, time I took another look at it.
I may go through, spruce up chapters 1 thru 3, and then write and post chapter 4 to polish it off, and finally finish this bad boy.
I'm really glad there are those who still enjoy it!
12220
Remember, about two years ago, when you wanted more of this fic? Well, more happened
Oooh! I'm not usually one to say "it lives!", but it lives! 1 year, 8 months, and 11 days since the last update, impressive. But I never gave up on this one, it's an old favorite of mine. It's survived through several purges of "old stories that look abandoned" in my favorites list.
I would love it if you did a chapter 4. Great to hear that you still like this story too. :)
An update, fantastic!
I must say that I think this is your best comedy story to date. Or at least it's the only one that hits the right notes with me. It's completely absurd, but it knows so and that makes it all the more fun. Or at least that goes for the bits with Twilight and Spike. The Pinkie and Rarity bits are just... Not very fun. Still, that's a very minor part of the whole fic so it's good anyway!
I'm looking forward to what comes next.
Cheers!
Been a loonnnggg time sk ce this updated, are you going to work on your other old abandoned stuff?
2793246
All my non-cancelled stories are ones that I do intend to continue and - eventually - finish. I just can't write them all at once....
I am so glad you updated this! It was funny, awesome, used marvelous turns of phrase, and damn, I loved the Icy Hooves ice cream. And the waffles. And, well everything.
This is a wonderful story, full of mirth and wonder. If only there was more of you to finish all your wonderful works.
It lives! By the caprice of the replacement Princesses, it lives!
It's fascinating to see what a difference almost two years makes. Luna Eclipsed, Dragon Quest, A Canterlot Wedding, Magical Mystery Cure... none of them had aired when this story came out. And here we are, with a story just as fantastic as I remembered it. Eagerly looking forward to more, though I hope for a faster update this time.
Four S's, technically.
2795859
yup, this story lives - you can see in it how I expected Twilight to ascend to princess-status at some point. This latest chapter was actually last touched in october, 2011, and it's really interesting for me to see how it meshes with my current head-canon, as it really does have a similar feel to ambassador's son and king of diamonds, despite the difference in tone (straight comedy, versus high fantasy adventure).
Chapter four will be along soon...
& here I thought this story was dead! Shows what I know! The tap horn on Twilight was very funny, though I'm starting to worry that Rarity might be going just a scooch mad with power.
WOW Midnight, I remember reading the first chapter of this story back when the fandom was just a baby. Reading this continued story reminded me of Luna and her crazy abacus adventures in the progress series, as well as many other of my fist pony fic reads such as Midnight Shadow`s conversion bureau story /)^3^(\. You never disappoint Midnight!
2796058 Is it soon yet???
Can't Celestia and Luna raise and set the Sun and Moon anywhere they go?
2796058
Xd you said that 5 years ago
Tell me again why Twilight is so stressed being a celestial pony and why she said "herd of little Twilight's" does this mean she and Spike have too... You know...
