If you could see you would be seeing stars. You feel your face, good your shades are still there. “Who in Equestria just hit me?” you think to yourself.
***
Rainbow Dash opened her eyes. “Note to self, when performing the Rainbow Loop, do it higher,” she thought to herself. She quickly searched the ground for the pony she just t-boned. He was lying on his side, pulling himself up.
***
“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh, I am so sorry, are you ok?” you ‘look’ up at the mare now hovering nearby.
“I’m fine but ow, that hurt, just watch where you’re going next time,” you laugh slightly.
“Heh heh, sorry ‘bout that, I’m Rainbow Dash, the best flier in all of Equestria. Who are you?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“I’m Solarstorm. I’m more of a night flier,” you say, trying to be modest, “wait, you said your name was Rainbow Dash? I think I’m supposed to start my job at the Weather Patrol with you.”
“Oh, so you’re the rook who’s supposed to be joining me tomorrow,” she replies, “mayor told me this morning, the more help with the weather the better.”
“Ok, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Sure, it was good to meet ya, Storm,” Rainbow Dash says. She takes off and heads off. You dust yourself off and head toward the park
Though you lived in Ponyville since the accident, you rarely ventured into town. Not that you needed to with your new senses. The entire layout was always available whenever you stepped on the ground. Your parents used to take you with them whenever they left on any of their many business trips. When they finally trusted you to stay home by yourself, you ventured into town had the pleasure or displeasure of meeting the famous Pinkie Pie. Her hectic and eccentrics were funny at first. Then at the Summer Sun Celebration she got into a barrel of the Apple family’s famous sparkling apple cider. Needless to say you tended to stay out of Ponyville whenever possible.
But today was a new day. The first day of summer and you were feeling adventurous.
Your thoughts are interrupted by a loud gasp behind you. “Oh dear Celestia,” you think.
“Hi, who are you? I think we’ve met before, did we? I can’t remember. Are you new here? I’ve never seen you in town before. Are you from Cloudsdale? My friend Rainbow Dash is from Cloudsdale. Why do you wear those glasses? My friend Vinyl Scratch wears purple glasses all the time. Oh, silly me I didn’t get your name. I’m Pinkie Pie, what’s your name?” the pink pony with the cotton candy mane says all in one breath.
“Uh… I’m Solarstorm. And we have met before. At the Summer Sun Celebration four year ago,” you say, shuddering slightly as you remember the night Pinkie went Postal.
“Really? You were there that night?” Pinkie giggles, “oh well I guess you know why I can’t have sparkling cider anymore.”
“Yeah I remember quit vividly.”
“Well, nice meeting you. I have to get to Sugarcube Corner now. Bye!”
You sit there relieved that you survived that encounter unscathed as Pinkie bounces down the road, saying hello to everyone she meets.
You head to the park and sit on a bench enjoying the warm Summer sun…
BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP. Your alarm clock rouses you from your slumber. “No point in rubbing the sleep out my eyes today,” you say sarcastically. Your clock woke you up at 7 o’clock every morning. You make a quick breakfast of eggs on toast before heading out the door.
Today was your first day of working on the Weather Patrol and you didn’t want to botch it up on the first day. Come to think of it, it was your first job anywhere. You fly towards town center and land in front of town hall.
“Excuse me, but what’s the time?” you ask a passing mare.
“Can’t you read the clock?” comes the snobbish reply.
You just ‘stare’ at her.
“Fine, it’s 8:15.” She says.
Hmmm, that seems a bit early. Wait “I never asked dad what time I start,” you mentally scold yourself. You sit yourself on a nearby bench. Might as well wait…
***
“Hey, wake up sleepy head.”
“Not now mom, it’s Saturday,” you reply.
“Uh, I hate to disappoint you but its Wednesday, hotshot. And I’m not your mom.”
You focus your hearing. There’s a mare standing over you. Judging by the height and shape and voice, she’s the same one who crashed into you yesterday; Rainbow Dash.
“Aaahhhh! How long was I asleep?! What time is it?” you fanatically scramble up.
“About 9:00,” Rainbow Dash replies, “you ready to get started?”
“You bet,” you say, now fully composed.
“OK, follow me,”
***
“He keeps up surprisingly well,” thought Rainbow Dash.
***
Your echolocation lets you keep track of her and all other objects in the air and on the ground. There’s a bunch of ponies at the market, somepony is heading into the Carousel Boutique, and the mail pony everypony says has wall eyes just crashed into a mailbox.
“Alright Storm, today we’re going to clear the clouds. Today schedule calls for blue skies and a sunny day. Can you handle that?” Rainbow dash instructs.
“Piece of cake.” You both zip off and begin pushing all the scattered clouds out of Ponyville, and into Everfree forest. Any spares you both pop with your hooves. You’re both done in 20 minutes. Though your dad was a scientist, he taught you everything about the weather. “Any Pegasus, no matter his/her occupation should be able to manipulate the weather,” he would say. Before you could go off and explore you had to practice weather manipulation.
“Wow, your good,” Dash breaths.
“I learned everything I know from my father,” you reply, breathing a little heavy yourself, “he had a thing about me learning it.”
You both hover above Ponyville, admiring your work.
“So how much do we get paid?” you ask to break the silence.
“We both get paid 500 bits a day at the end of the week.”
“Wow, this job pays good money.”
Her tone changes to something happy. You can sense she’s grinning, “oh yes, very good.”
“Hey! Are you doing anything later?” she asks
“Um… no not really. Why?” you ask back.
“I was wondering if you wanted to hang out or something,” Dash says, “I mean, we do have the rest of the day off.”
“Sure I Guess,” you smile.
“Awesome, I just need to pick up one thing at Sugarcube Corner.”
“Oh no,” you think to yourself.
Dash and you race to Sugarcube corner. You’re both neck and neck as you descend. You pull up at the last second and land next to Dash.
“I won!” Dash proclaims triumphantly.
“But look who’s closer to the door,” you say.
“Fine, it’s a tie,” she says.
“No, I won fair and square,” you laugh as you reach the door. “Oh great,” you think. You already know what’s waiting behind it.
“My friend Pinkie Pie works here,” Dash says, “though she can be a little eccentric.”
“I know, I saw her drunk four years ago,” you mutter as Dash opens the door.
“SURPRISE!!”
It's always fun to see a second-person perspective. If it's done right (and you're doing ok) it is quite entertaining.
The only problem is, you can't have an omniscient second person. How do I know what Dash is thinking?
(unless, of course, I'm bulimic as well as blind? )
Hmm I'll keep that in mind for future chapters. Done other writings before so I thought I'd try something new. Little new at the romance side of writing. Thanks for the tip though :-)
I could be a troll here and unbalance the likes and dislikes. *Evil laugh*
Hmm... Daredevil in Ponyville?
Just joking, but since Storm DOES have Daredevil's sonic hearing, you also give him Daredevil's acute sense of smell. That why he can identify one pony from another by scent or tell oatmeal from guacamole, or a gala apple from a macintosh.
Also ther should be something "off" or different about Storm that others pick up on, like him not really looking directly at you while talking. He also will have trouble reading subtler facial expressions. His asking the time was good, but remember he can't read at all (except maybe Braille) so this should be a problem for him as well. He might still be clumsy or accident prone due to his sonics might not being totally accurate at times (like with loud background noise.)
One idea you might follow is that one other character becomes aware of Storm's condition and that he wants to or needs to hide it from others, either not to lose his job or he is afraid of Dash's response. That character will them help Storm cover up his blindness around other ponies. Twilight would work, as librarian she could get his Braille books, or Pinkie pie for a more comedic effect. This could also be used to cause some strain between Storm and Dash, like jealousy about how much time Storm seems to spend with Twi or pinkie.
Hmm interesting. Ill keep those In mind. I was planning on one of them trying to get him to swimming but being terrified since the water would mess up his hearing. Thanks for the positive feedback :-)
like, and track
Eh. The story is interesting, but I'm not a fan of the type of narrative that's going on. I haven't finished the chapter yet, I'll see if it bothers me after a little while.
I am a bit confused with how the narrative is being written out, and the jumps from different perspective is also confusing.
That's a fast transition, jesus.
Aside from some typos, its good.
But, I will keep going... cause Dashie.
Good work, A for effort.