• Published 20th Nov 2013
  • 1,475 Views, 64 Comments

Harmony's Warriors Longbox Anthology, Vol. 1 - Avenging-Hobbits



An anthology of various one-shots to help expand the Harmony's Warriors Universe

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01 - Trottingham Pie (Part I)

Trottingham Pink (Part I):

Pinkie Pie happily trotted along through the Helicarrier hallways, idly singing along to whatever song was playing over her earpiece/hearing aid.

“...and ya can’t say no to the Beauty and the Beast...darling” she elongated the last word in an exaggerated Posh Trottingham accent, sliding along the floor and coming to a stop in front a plain, unassuming door with the words “Director Armor” printed in shiny metallic lettering. Pinkie quietly pressed a small button on the shoulder strap of her uniform, and the music cut out. She then lifted a hoof and knocked on the door sharply.

“Come in,” came the stallion’s voice from inside, and Pinkie opened the door, trotting up to the white unicorn’s desk and taking a seat.

“How ya doin’, Shiny-Whiny?” Pinkie asked, smiling broadly as she settled into her chair. Shining Armor nodded slightly, a small smile on his face.

“Just fine, Agent Pie, just fine,” he answered, and Pinkie nodded in return.

“Whydja call me here? Is it for free candy?!" she asked excitedly, sitting up in her chair and leaning forward. "Cause Nightmare Night’s coming up and--” Pinkie’s quick spiel was silenced by a raised eyebrow and hoof from Shining, and she closed her mouth tight, swallowing whatever words she was going to say before clearing her throat. “Um, sorry…” she murmured shyly, and Shining shook his head.

“No problem Pinkie. Now, to answer your first question, this is why I called you today.” He reached into a drawer in his desk and pulled out a manila folder. In big, bold red letters were the words “Level 7 Access: For Top Secret Eyes Only” and Shining slid the folder over to Pinkie.

“Oooh! What’s inside? Is it candy?!” Pinkie asked adamantly, taking the folder and quickly flipping through it. Shining Armor, however, shook his head.

“Sorry, Pinkie, but those are your mission orders.”

Pinkie stopped flipping through the folder and looked up, her smile fading slightly. She was really hoping it was going to be candy, or maybe a golden ticket to that awesome chocolate factory she’d heard so much about, but alas, it was simply another mission. Not that Pinkie didn’t like going on missions, she really loved being able to fight bad ponies and shoot her bow and arrow at them, but her heart still belonged to the wonderful world of candy and other colorful confectioneries. She started to page through the folder in earnest now, her bouncy effervescence going from hurricane force winds to a calm summer breeze. Now wasn’t the time for candy, sadly, it was time for work, and that called for her to focus.

“So who is this mare?” she asked, holding up a picture of a stuffy looking unicorn pony in a fancy military uniform.

“That is General Lin Beifong, Guoxian Senator, and you’re going to be tasked with watching her during her trip to Trottingham,” Shining replied. Pinkie nodded, before raising an eyebrow slightly.

“Why do I have to watch her? Isn’t security stuff usually more Donut Joe’s job?” Pinkie asked, tilting her head slightly as she spoke. Shining shook his head.

“Sorry, but he's busy on another mission.” he answered, and Pinkie leaned back in her chair slightly.

“Well what about Twilight?” She asked, “I mean, we always do this kinda stuff together.”

Shining shrugged. “Ever since Istanbull, the guys up top have been on my back about you two, and they explicitly stated that you and Twilight aren’t allowed to be on the same mission for at least another three months.”

Pinkie’s mane deflated slightly. “But it wasn’t our fault Shining! You know that! We didn’t plan on that refridgerator exploding like it did!” she protested, waiving her arms.

“I’m not the one blaming you, Pinkie, you know that,” Shining answered calmly. “But, in light of those events, the guys up top think it would be best that you and Twilight avoid each other for awhile, and that you focus on missions that are less likely to run into any exploding refrigerators or flying police boxes.”

Pinkie crossed her arms in frustration, slinking back into the chair. “...not my fault that kooky pony in the box wanted to drag us to the twenty-third century…”

Shining shrugged. “Again, not my call.”

Pinkie sighed overdramatically and rolled her eyes. “Fine then...what about Sam and Dean or Fetlock and Trotson? Can I work with them?”

“Sorry, but last I heard from them, their all are busy dealing with a big rat on an island off of southern Guoxia. Communication has been sporadic and last message, Dean mentioned something about hellhounds and zombies.”

Pinkie let her shoulders sag. “Bummers…” she said, sliding down in her seat even more. She had been hoping for some vacation time, as ever since she had got back from Appleloosa, things had been hectic, mostly because the rest of the Feds wanted to know if there had been any advanced technology left behind or if Fenrir was a threat or not. Not to mention that, since Istanbull, most of the uppers thought she was a walking time bomb.

“So what do I have to do besides just watch her?” she asked, hoping that she’d at least be able to do more then just follow the mare in the photo around all day. The mare didn’t look like somepony who had a sense of humor, as her expression in the photograph seemed to be one of extreme bitterness coupled with a sense of being above it all. Not to mention following a pony around was usually rather boring.

“Well, that’s the thing,” Shining answered, motioning towards the folder. “Inside you’ll find some information our eyes and ears on the ground have found that suggests that our Senator friend here might be a target for assassination.”

Pinkie perked up at that, once more returning to the documents below. As stuffy as the unicorn in the picture was, it still didn’t mean it was okay for a big meanie pants to kill her. She read the information contained, learning that, in this case, Sen. Beifong had been behind some reforms in the Guoxian government, mostly economic and law enforcement reforms, and apparently had made herself quite a few enemies over there, mostly consisting of the local crime lords, the Crimson Tide, and their economic backers.

She reached the end of the documents and closed the folder. “Alrighty then, anypony else coming with?”

Shining leaned back in his chair. “Well, if you want, Marble is free and clear.”

Pinkie’s expression brightened. “For reals?! That’s awesome I’ll take her!”

“I knew you’d say that,” Shining replied with a chuckle. “You two can think of it as some sisterly bonding.”

Pinkie nodded adimately. She hadn’t seen her sister since Istanbull, and had been itching to catch up with her sister. Since they were both agents, this usually meant they were both too busy to arrange a good get together, but they had stayed in touch nonetheless.

“Can I get ready?” she asked, having found new found enthusiasm in the prospect of both helping defend a pony who seemed to be doing good and getting to spend time with Marble.

“You’re dismissed. I’ll contact Marble and bring her up to speed.” Shining answered, and Pinkie Pie grinned.

“Awesome! Thanks Shiny!” she chirped, hopping out of her chair and skipping out of the room, leaving an amused Shining Armor in his office, as the stallion picked up a phone and dialed Marble’s number.


/////////////////////////


Marble Pie trotted up the Quinjet, which sat in the hangar bay of the helicarrier. She was dressed in a well fitted black and white kevlar-lined leather catsuit, and on her back was the backpack that contained her weapon of choice, a collapsable bō-staff. She had already been briefed about her mission to watch the Guoxian Senator, and that she’d be teamed up with her sister.

Marble had been rather surprised by that development, as Pinkie was almost always teamed up with Twilight, a duo that had, despite the two ponies’ vastly different personalities, worked shockingly well in combat. Of course, that was until Istanbull, which, from what Marble had heard, had been a near total catastrophe, although Director Armor was always quick to deem it a ‘successful failure’. But, whatever the mission had been deemed by the superiors, it apparently meant that Pinkie had to see Professor Silverhoof every Sunday since coming back, and Marble knew her sister well enough to know that such visits usually meant that Pinkamena had managed to do...something.

Before Marble’s mind could follow that rather dark tangent, she was sideswiped by a pink blur with a huge smile on it’s face.

“MARBLE!” Pinkie cheered, pulling Marble into a hug so tight that a boa constrictor would blush.

“Pinkie….me….choking….let….go….” Marble gasped, and Pinkie released her death grip, allowing Marble to suck in some desperately needed air.

“Oh sorry Sis, haven't seen ya in awhile,” Pinkie said, helping Marble back on her hooves. Marble smiled, shrugging off the hug as Pinkie simply being Pinkie.

“No problem Pinkie, don’t get your mane in a twist.” she chuckled, and the pair started back towards the Quinjet.

“So, Marble, how ya doin’?” Pinkie asked, breaking the brief silence between the two of them. Marble shrugged slightly.

“Just fine. Same old same old ya know. Stop a terrorist here, capture a murderer there...you know how it is. How are you doing? Heard that Istanbull was pretty tough.”

Pinkie’s smile faded somewhat. “Yeah...it was…” she answered, her voice lacking it’s previous enthusiasm.

“Been talking to Prof. Silverhoof about it?” Marble asked, not really wanting to press the issue, but still wanting to keep tabs on her sister’s health, both physical and psychological. Pinkie nodded slightly, her expression still looking somewhat unenthusiastic.

“Yeah, the Professor’s been nice. Keeps Pinkamena back where she belongs.” Pinkie answered, emphasizing her words by motioning to her head. Marble smiled, nodding her head.

“That’s great Pinkie.” she said, knowing to now drop the subject and move onto something else. “I heard you were in Appleloosa last week. How was that mission?”

Pinkie seemed to instantly brighten up at that question, and the big happy smile that Marble was always glad to see popped onto her sister’s face.

“Oh it was awesome Marble! You should have been there!” she beamed, coming to a stop as her and Marble nodded to the Quinjet pilot, who nodded in return and let them board the aircraft.

“Really?” Marble answered, hanging her backpack on the equipment rack and taking a seat down and buckling herself in. Pinkie nodded, hanging the carrying case for her bow and it’s quiver of arrows on the same rack. Pinkie then sat down and buckled herself in as well in the seat next to Marble.

“Oh yeah totally! It was awesome! I even got over my fear of wolves!”

“Oh really?” Marble asked, genuinely surprised at that development. Ever since Pinkie had caught that wolf documentary back when they were fillies, she had been terrified of the creatures. “How’d you manage that?” she asked, raising an eyebrow slightly.

“Well--” Pinkie began, only to get cut off by the pilot’s voice crackling over the intercom.

“All personnel prepare for take-off. Please make sure you’re all buckled securely and any equipment or luggage is equally secure. Thank you very much.”

Pinkie and Marble blinked, before Marble looked at Pinkie. “You were saying?”

“Oh right! So, there I was in Appleloosa when--OOOH WE’RE ABOUT TO TAKE OFF!” Pinkie practically leapt towards the window, peering out excitedly. Marble rolled her eyes at her sister’s insistence to act as if it was the first time she ever flew in a Quinjet even though they had both been both a passenger and a pilot at least a hundred times over.

“Aren’t ya gonna watch the take off Marble?” Pinkie asked, glancing at Marble for a moment.

“Well...I have seen it before you know,” Marble answered, and Pinkie rolled her eyes.

“Come on Marble! It’s fun!” she insisted, beckoning with a pink hoof for Marble to join her looking out the window.

Marble hesitated for a moment, but the look of childish glee on her sister’s face was too infectious to resist, and Marble found herself looking out the window as well.

The floor beneath the Quinjet began to slowly rise upwards, lifting the aircraft upwards and to the upper deck tarmac that made up the topside of the Helicarrier. The aircraft steadily taxied out onto the open runway and already Marble could tell that the massive flying aircraft carrier was airborne, as the ocean below stretched outwards on to the horizon.

“Flight 1995 you are clear for take-off,” came the voice of the control tower over the intercom.

“Roger that, Tower.” Came the pilot’s response, and the Quinjet's engines roared to life, sending the aircraft rocketing down the runway at full speed. Pinkie and Marble slid back in their seats slightly as the forward motion pushed them back into the seats, Pinkie still looking out the window with childish glee. With a lurch, the aircraft was airborne, and racing off to wherever it’s destination was.

Pinkie, seemingly content on getting her fix of aviation take offs, slinked back into her seat with a happy, content smile on her face.

“You good?” Marble asked with a slight chuckle, and Pinkie nodded.

“Sure thing! I love this jet.” she said, looking around with a proud smile on her face. Marble nodded.

“Yeah it’s pretty cool….” she said, trailing off. There was a pause between the two, with the only sound being the muffled engines outside. Marble glanced at Pinkie who had already whipped out a video game from her mane and was playing it with rapt attention.

“Pinkie, you mentioned something about wolves and Appleloosa?” Marble asked, catching Pinkie’s attention. Pinkie arched an eyebrow for a second, before her expression changed to that of understanding.

“Oh right! Totally forgot!” she laughed, slipping the video game back into her mane and tapping a hoof on her chin. “Now where was I….” she muttered, her eyes darting about as she tried to recall her story. She let out a frustrated grunt, and smacked her hooves together. “Gosh darn it to heck! I forgot!” she then let out a chuckle. “Guess I gotta start from the beginning! You don’t mind do you Marble?”

Marble shook her head, having already expected that this would have been the way she would learn the story. “No I don’t mind. Fire away Pinkie.”

Pinkie nodded and took a deep breath. “Alrighty then! It all started about a month ago when Agent Spike was told to go check up on some bizarre weather patterns in Appleloosa….”


/////////////////////////


“...and that’s how I defeated my phobia of wolves, met a goddess and got to make a bunch of new friends! And if I can get the time off I’ll be going on a date!” Pinkie Pie said, spreading her arms wide as she finished her story. Marble nodded tiredly, resting her head on her hoof.

“That’s quite the story…” Marble said, and Pinkie noticed her sister’s eyes flutter shut for a moment.

“Yeah it is,” Pinkie said. “Sorry if you’re tired Marble. If it makes you feel better the plane’s almost at our destination.” she said, motioning out the window to the bright lights of the city of Trottingham below.

“Awesome…” Marble yawned, stretching slightly as the Quinjet banked to the left, slowly beginning it’s descent. Both Marble and Pinkie took this time to double check their equipment. In Marble's case this meant double checking her bō-staff, while Pinkie inspected her arrows.

“Still got your trick arrows Pinkie?” Marble asked, glancing at her sister as the pink agent nodded.

“Of course! And don’t call them trick arrows. Their trick arrowheads. Having trick arrows would be silly. I mean an arrow that plays tricks on you? That’s just crazy!” Pinkie giggled, looking down at Marble’s staff, which was sitting on her lap.

“Still training with that fancy stick of yours?” she asked, and Marble nodded tiredly.

“Enough to bat your arrows right back at ya.” she said a chuckle, before letting out another yawn. By now, the plane had landed and come to a stop, and Pinkie unbuckled herself, standing up.

“Come Marble, we’re here. But don’t worry, I’ll carry your bags for you since you look so tired. Kay?”

Marble nodded as she yawned and walked down to the waiting transport, Pinkie carrying all the bags on her back.


////////////////////////////////////


Marble awoke to her sister’s gentle prodding, and turned to see Pinkie, still apparently as energized as ever. In Marble’s case, she had been able to catch a good hour and a-half’s worth of sleep on the transport ride over, so at least she had some rest.

“We there?” she asked, sitting up and rubbing away the last of her sleepiness. She knew full well that if they had reached their destination, she’d need to be on alert, regardless if she had any sleep or not.

Pinkie nodded. “Yeah we’re there. Apparently we have to talk to Miss Stuffy Pants first and then we can get some coffee or something. That sound good?”

Marble nodded. “Yeah that sounds good. Makes sense. Let’s do this,” and with that, she stood up, following Pinkie out of the transport. They made their way into the hotel, handing their bags to a porter, who took them up stairs. The duo then headed towards the elevator, stepping inside.

“Alright then, what floor is Sen. Beifong on?” Marble asked, holding a hoof up to the button.

“The file said the twelfth floor.” Pinkie answered, and Marble nodded, pressing the button and taking a step back. The elevator began its ascent upwards and Marble took the time to adjust her uniform.

“Leather’s a tad itchy, gotta talk to Cross Stitch about it.” she muttered and Pinkie shrugged.

“Told ya, ‘Don’t go with the catsuit, they always itch.’” she said, shaking her head. Marble rolled her eyes.

“For the billionth time Pinkie, I don’t like to just waltz around in a simple kevlar vest. You may like it, but I prefer to have as much of my body covered as possible.”

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “That’s what you always say Marble, but I’m telling you, a vest is the way to go.”

Marble was about to come back with a retort on the merits of kevlar-lined leather catsuits when the elevator dinged, signaling that they had reached the twelfth floor.

“Oooh we’re here!” Pinkie chirped, and the door of the elevator opened. Marble and Pinkie quietly trotted up to the hotel room door, which stood out due to the two security ponies standing guard outside.

“Halt!” One of the guards said, holding up an arm to block the doorway. “Identify yourselves.”

Marble and Pinkie held up their NEIGHS IDs in perfect sync. “I’m Agent Marble Pie and this is Agent Pinkie Pie. We’re from NEIGHS and we’re here to help with security.” she said, and the security guard closely inspected her ID.

“Alright then,” The first guard said, “You can come in. Just so you know, the Senator is busy right now, so she might not want to speak.”

“Roger that,” Pinkie answered, and the guard opened the hotel room door, allowing Pinkie and Marble to step inside. The door had only just closed behind them when Pinkie felt her left front knee twitch. In a flash, she pulled Marble down to the floor, narrowly avoiding a spiked brass ball attached to a length of rope. The two shocked mares followed the length of rope back to it’s owner, where a stout, olive green unicorn mare in military dress stood. Her mane was pulled back in a tight bun and she held the other end of the rope in her hoof. Attached to the other end of rope was another ball, this one without spikes.

“And you are?” the mare asked, arching an eyebrow at the prostate ponies.

“We’re the agents that NEIGHS sent,” Marble answered, keeping her head low in fear of a potential decapitation from the spiked-death ball. “Do you always greet your guard with that thing, General?”

“It’s called a meteor hammer, and yes. If I am to trust you two with my life, I need to know that you’re at least on my level.” Beifong answered, lighting her horn and roughly yanking the spiked meteor hammer out of the wall and wrapping the cable around it, setting it down on a nearby table.

“You can get up now,” she said, walking over to pour herself a glass of tea as Pinkie and Marble slowly got up, both at the ready for any other surprises.

“Well...I guess that makes sense.” Pinkie said, taking a seat across from the older mare while Marble took a seat next to the hotel window.

“I mean it’s not a nice thing to do, but I can see why you’d do it.” Pinkie continued. “Are things that bad in Guoxia?”

Beifong scoffed. “You have no idea. My country’s been unable to stabilize since the 20’s, so I assure you, knowing how to quickly dispatch a potential threat is a must.” she paused, taking a sip of her tea. “Especially when you’re trying to finally stamp out the cancer that is the Crimson Tide.”

“Heard of them. I take it you’re not exactly a fan of their influence?” Marble asked, calmly looking out the window to keep an eye out for any suspicious ponies. Beifong let out a very unlady like snorting laugh.

“You must be insane to think I’d have anything to do with those scumbags. I detest them. Of course, you know you’re making progress against them once they start sending assassins after you.” she paused, taking another sip of her tea. “Hopefully though, I’ll be able to get support from your government to help with me and my compatriots efforts, and hopefully, my country can finally know peace again.” she finished, her voice now somber and introspective.

“Know anything about the assassin or assassins they sent after you?” Marble asked, pulling out a notepad and pen. Beifong paused, looking up at the ceiling for a moment.

“All I know for sure is that whoever they got to find me is damn good. Every single one of my contacts has been utterly terrified, but, from what little definite information I could gather, it’s all the work of a single pony. Anything else?”

“Yeah!” Pinkie chirped, “Why didn’t ya use magic to use that meteor thingy?”

Beifong briefly glared at Pinkie, who simply smiled back with the same smile she always used when speaking to a new friend. With a roll of her eyes and a sigh, Beifong finally answered the question.

“I’ve learned from experience that magic is something that can be neutralized far too easily to use it frequently in my field of work. One well placed hit to my horn and I’d be defenseless. It’s always best to keep one’s body in tip top shape, and a trained hoof is much harder to stop then a unicorn’s horn.” she then turned towards Marble. “Any more relevant questions?”

Marble shrugged. “Nothing that comes immediately to our minds. But rest assured if we have any questions, you’ll be the first to know.”

Beifong nodded. “Alright then. You will be staying here in this apartment yes?” she asked as she got up to pour herself more tea. Marble and Pinkie cast each other quick, worrisome glances.

“Um...well, General,” Pinkie began, twiddling her thumbs. “we were given Room 237, which is on this floor.”

Beifong shook her head. “Nonsense. You will be staying here. I didn’t ask for NEIGHS to send protection, but since they saw fit to do so, I expect you to stay here, where you are needed.” she emphasized her words by soundly placing her tea cup on the table. “Understood?”

Both Marble and Pinkie nodded. “Yeah totally understood,” Pinkie said, before reaching into her mane and pulling out her suitcase. “Where do I sleep?”

Beifong simply stared at the sudden appearance of the suitcase, before shooting Marble a questioning look.

“Don’t worry General. Pinkie’s one of our best agents. As weird as she is, she gets the job done that I can assure you.” she said, standing up. “And where do you want us to sleep? That way we can get our bags and come back and set everything up.”

Beifong rolled her eyes again, pouring some sugar into her tea. “If I had an extra bedroom, I would have you use that one, but alas I only have that futon over there.” she motioned to the couch where Pinkie had been sitting. “It folds out and it’s a twin sized bed, so hopefully that works.”

Marble and Pinkie traded looks and Pinkie was about to protest when Marble held up a hoof.

“Thank you very much General, I’ll call for our bags.” Marble said, still keeping her eyes fixed on Pinkie. “Hopefully they won’t take up too much space.”

“They’d better not,” Beifong answered curtly. “This is my hotel room, not a storage locker. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” she glanced at the clock on the wall. “I have to prepare my speech for tomorrow.” and with that, she turned and headed into what seemed to be the bedroom, closing and locking the door behind her.

There was a moment of silence between the two siblings before Pinkie Pie let out a long sigh. “Darn it. I kinda wanted my own bed.” she said, lifting her suitcase and sliding it under the windowsill. Marble shrugged.

“Well, let’s at least see how much space we’re going to have…” she said, walking up to the futon and looking it over. “Hopefully we won’t have to be too cramped.” she pulled the lever and started to unfold it.

“Help me out here Pinkie,” she called out, and Pinkie spun around, stretching an arm to help Marble unfold the bed. As soon as it unfolded however, they could both tell full well that the bed was going to be cramped.

“That’s not a twin.” Pinkie deadpanned. “That’s like...a single right?”

Marble let her shoulders sag. The bed seemed only about one and a half ponies wide, and lacked any bedsheets. “Pinkie could you run to our room and steal the sheets and pillows.”

“Don’t need to!” Pinkie chirped, reaching into her suitcase to pull out a bedsheet, pillows and a comforter. “Here we go!”

Marble blinked. “How much stuff do you have in that suitcase?” she asked.

Pinkie shrugged. “I don’t know...lots...I think I might have left the party cannon back at the Helicarrier.” she said, tapping her chin. “You know what lemmie check!” she said, spinning on her heels to dive inside the seemingly bottomless suitcase.

“Hmm...let’s see...bow and arrow carrying case...my mp3 player...my laptop...my backup costume...My Mare-Do-Well/Green Guardian team up graphic novel...sonic screwdriver...bathroom stuff...bathroom reader…shoot, no party cannon.” she huffed, crawling out of the bag to see Marble nearly completely buried under all the stuff she had tossed out of the bag during her search. “Oh! Sorry Marble, let me help you out there!” she bounded over and started to toss the various paraphernalia back into the suitcase, leaving a somewhat dazed looking Marble standing where the pile had just been.

“Remind me never to ask you to empty out your bag Pinkie.” she said, straightening out her gray mane and cracking her back. Pinkie nodded.

“Yeah, sorry about that. At least we know we don’t have the party canon, so at least I don’t have to worry about buying a bunch of confetti. Which is good since confetti is getting expensive.” Pinkie continued, taking off her kevlar vest and setting it by the suitcase. “But, at least I got my tunes and my comics, so I think I’ll survive. Ready to hit the hay?”

Marble nodded. “Yeah let’s get this bed made and get some actual sleep. I have a feeling tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.”

“Protecting ponies especially politicians normally is.” Pinkie added with a smile, and the sisters began to arrange the bed.

Author's Note:

Well, here's part one of the three part Pie Sister centric story.

Hope you all enjoy it.

And yes, General Lin Beifong is a SHAMELESS reference to The Legend of Korra. What of it?

Also, go have fun trying to spot all the other references I scattered throughout.