Lyra gagged as she felt something unbelievably bitter pressed into her mouth. She made to spit it out, but a pair of hooves clamped her mouth shut.
“No,” Cheerilee ordered in a determined voice as she held Lyra’s mouth closed. “You’re eating that. I don’t care how it tastes.”
Grimacing, the unicorn obeyed her captor. Chewing only made whatever she was eating taste worse, but after a moment she was able – barely – to swallow whatever foul thing had been she had been forced to eat. “There,” she said through clenched teeth, brushing Cheerilee’s hooves off of her mouth as she stood on shaking hooves. “That…gah, that was awful!” She ran her teeth on her tongue and spat, trying to get the taste off of it, but to no avail. There was only one option, then – she trotted away from where she had been lying, as it was largely (for some reason) blackened, burnt grass, and bent her head low, ripping up as much grass as possible from the clearing and chewing thoroughly.
“It can’t be that bad,” Trixie said, as she looked into her hat, which was empty. “They smelled like dandelions…”
“Thah thased lik fank!” Lyra noted, as best she could with a mouth full of grass. After swallowing – not that it helped much – she glared at the five ponies who were staring at her hopefully. “What?” she demanded.
“How are you feeling?” Ditzy Doo asked. “Trixie says that you overchanneled.”
Lyra blinked a few times, looking up at her horn as she willed some magic through it. It glowed gold, and the sensation of channeling magic felt normal. “Um…fine,” she said, indignation at being made to eat whatever those things were disappearing at the sound of the word ‘overchanneled.’ “H…how long was I out?”
“Only about an hour,” Cheerilee explained, eliciting a sigh of relief from Lyra – it could have been much, much longer. “Carrot Top came up with the idea of finding something called an ether flower, and Zecora helped her, Raindrops, and Trixie find some. We fed you the petals while you were asleep, you were just instinctively chewing and swallowing until a moment ago.”
“Her body knew it needed magic and knew that the petals had them.” Trixie explained, as she telekinetically hefted her cape from the ground and then shook it around a little, getting residual moisture and soot from the burned grass off of it before replacing it on her back. She looked morosely into her hat again, then sighed. “So she ate all of them.”
Lyra’s head tilted to the side. “How is that a bad thing?” she asked.
“To get the ether flowers, we had to walk through poison joke,” Carrot Top explained. “Raindrops and Trixie and me. We’ll be fine, it’s not lethal, but its effects should begin in just a few hours.”
The mint unicorn looked between Carrot Top, Raindrops, and Trixie, eyes wide. “What?” she asked. “Why? Why couldn’t Raindrops just fly over the poison…whatever?”
Carrot Top looked down at that, dejected, but for that received a playful flank-bump from Raindrops. “Because she’s an idiot,” Raindrops said, though without any malice in her voice. “We’re all idiots.”
“We’re also on a time limit,” Trixie said, turning and looking to Zecora. She was at the edge of the clearing, talking to Spike, who was looking increasingly depressed at whatever it was Zecora had to say. Trixie didn’t feel bad, therefore, when she interrupted. “We need to get moving again, to the palace,” she said.
“I think I saw it when looking for Ditzy Doo,” Raindrops said, looking around a moment before pointing. “That way, right?”
The zebra nodded. “This way to the ruined castle,” she said, turning and beginning to trot, the ponies following her and Spike once more hopping onto Zecora’s back. “Hopefully we can reach it without further hassle.”
---
To this day, nopony quite understood what had possessed Luna and Corona – or rather, Celestia, as this had been prior to her fall from grace – to build the Palace of the Royal Pony Sisters in the Everfree Forest. It had been rebuilt and remodeled many times over the millennia, but its foundations was old – older than Equestria as a nation, maybe even older than the three pony nations that had preceded Equestria; indeed, possibly even older than ponies as a race.
With the sun hanging unmoving in the sky, it was difficult to tell what time it was, but if forced to guess Trixie would have supposed that it was probably past what should have been dawn. Given that, had Corona not been so inconsiderate as to escape from the sun and take over Equestria, around sunrise was when she and everypony else had been planning on going to sleep, having stayed up to celebrate the Longest Night. She was thoroughly exhausted when the trees parted to reveal a deep ravine, and on the other side, the Palace.
The Everfree was quiet and still as the ponies (and zebra, and baby dragon) approached the edge of their side of the ravine. By now, the fog that had been rising throughout the Everfree was reaching up to the pony’s barrels, and was bright, almost painful to look at as it reflected sunlight, adding to the eerie, unearthly sight of the Palace. No sound reached their ears other than a low wind and the sound of their own breathing and their own hooves on the snow.
The Palace itself looked surprisingly small, and seemed to be divided into two sections. Further from the ponies was a tall tower, covered in melting snow and ice with dead vines running up along the gray stone of the structure. Closer was a shorter but far broader building, likely once the main palace itself, where Luna and Celestia would have held Court – for anypony brave enough to journey into the Everfree to reach them, anyway. Here and there, collapsed stone walls and edifices probably indicated that the tower and Court had once been part of a single, larger structure, but time and the encroachment of the Everfree’s twisted boughs had seen to it that this was no longer the case. There was also the remains of a wooden bridge hanging on the far side of the ravine, the ravages of time having caused it to collapse; this was probably just as well, though, as it prevented Trixie from being stupid enough to try and cross a thousand-year-old wooden bridge that nopony had been maintaining.
Trixie glanced over the edge of the ravine. The fog from the snow, being heavier than air, was drifting over the edge, preventing her from seeing any further than about twenty feet down; it was impossible to judge just how far it was to the bottom. It was also too wide to risk jumping. “Guess we need to be carried,” she remarked, glancing to Raindrops and Ditzy Doo. Something nagged at Trixie, but she couldn’t place what at the moment, probably due to how tired she was.
“Guess so,” was Raindrops response, flapping her wings a few times in preparation, before taking wing and scooping up Cheerilee after she volunteered to go first, along with Lyra in Ditzy Doo’s hooves. Trixie took a moment to turn to Zecora and Spike. “Thank-you,” she said, forcing her suspicions of the zebra aside – after all, Zecora had guided them safely to the Palace, siren and poison joke run-ins aside. “I don’t know how long we would have been wandering around the Everfree without you.”
“I assure you, it was no trouble at all,” Zecora promised her. “But I must ask – how do you intend to free Equestria from Corona’s thrall?”
Trixie made a face that was halfway between a grin and a grimace. “I have no idea,” she admitted quietly. “The Elements of Harmony are in there, so – ”
“Whoa,” Spike interrupted, eyes wide. “I thought they were in Canterlot!”
Trixie’s eyes widened a little as well, and she shook her head. She was really tired if she had let something like that slip. “No,” Trixie said. “But, um…don’t tell anypony, okay? I shouldn’t of said that.”
Zecora offered a nod, as Spike scratched the back of his head. “Where are they?” he asked.
“Can’t tell you that, either,” Trixie said, as Raindrops and Ditzy Doo returned for her and Carrot Top.
“I understand your concern,” Zecora apologized. “Forgive Spike for asking out of turn.” She looked past Trixie, to the palace. “Once that was a place of wonder, but that feeling was torn asunder. It is now a place of pain and regret, one which I would rather forget. We came here once to wait out a storm, and a repeat of that time I would not like to perform.”
“So the traps still work, huh?” Trixie asked. Zecora inclined her head, and Spike nodded fervently. Trixie, herself, sighed. “Of course they do…”
“Good luck with that,” Spike offered, as Raindrops picked up Trixie, and the baby dragon waved goodbye, Zecora doing likewise. Once Trixie was down on the other side, she returned the gesture. She waited a few moments as she watched Zecora and Spike begin walking off; they were soon out of sight due to the fog. She then turned around and looked ahead. There was a rough, worn stairway they’d have to climb to reach the Court.
“Okay, here we go…” Trixie intoned, beginning to trot up the steps, the other ponies following her. “The first trap is right at the top of the steps here, at the door.”
“What’s it do?” Cheerilee asked.
“It’s a pressure plate,” Trixie explained. “But also magical. Setting it off will cause a wall of fire to spring up. It’s basically a ‘go away’ sign, the trap probably won’t hurt anypony, but it’ll scare them away…”
She paused at the door to the Court, staring down and making a face. “Unless somepony’s set it off already…” she intoned, leaning down. The tiles in front of the door were all depressed, sunken about an inch into the ground, while in a half-circle surrounding them the floor was scorched black. Trixie tentatively put a hoof on the pressure plate, then leaned her weight onto it, but nothing happened. “That’s not right…” she remarked in a low voice.
“Zecora and Spike have been here,” Carrot Top pointed out. “They probably set it off.”
“That’s not what’s odd,” Trixie said. “The traps are self-resetting and magically self-sustaining. There shouldn’t be any sprung traps…”
Raindrops stared a moment, then shook her mane and trotted into the Court before Trixie could stop her. Nothing happened, however, and the pegasus looked back the group. “Don’t question good luck, I guess,” she decided.
The ponies all wandered into the Court, getting their first look at it – or in Trixie’s case, her second. Because it was her second, however, her eyes widened slightly, at how much was out of place. Here, there was a pit in the floor, lying open. Over there, an axe on a pendulum, embedded in a crumbling pillar. Another pillar had fallen over entirely, and would have been blocking the rear exit had its central section not been pushed out of the way by some force. There was an occasional scorch mark or acid pit on the floor, but the former were cool to the touch while in the latter the acid had calcified and was now harmless.
“What?” she demanded. “No, no, no…there’s supposed to be death traps! Really clever ones!” Trixie trotted forward to a pit, looking down. At the bottom were spikes, but no sign of any kind of body of somepony who may have set it off.
“Maybe…” Lyra ventured. “Animals? Maybe animals set them off?”
“Oh, right,” Trixie remarked, rolling her eyes. “Nine hundred ninety-five years or so passed before Luna and me came here and everything was in place. Then five years later the animals of the Everfree decide to hold a party here or something?”
Lyra’s eyes narrowed slightly, and Trixie let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “Sorry. I’m tired. And no, not animals. There’s an enchantment woven over the whole area that’ll keep animals out. Somepony came here and set off the traps, and then somehow kept them from resetting. But why would…” Her eyes widened as she realized. “The Elements!”
---
It was taking the combined efforts of every single unicorn in the capital city, but Celestia was nevertheless being kept out of Canterlot.
The white alicorn stood in the sky directly over the city, not even bothering to beat her wings in order to remain suspended in the air. Beneath her, the city of Canterlot – which had grown quite large since last Celestia had laid her eyes upon it – was encased in a violet sphere, and had been since her arrival. Had it been created by a single unicorn, Celestia could have smashed through it long ago – but the white-coated unicorn who was generating it, who stood in the courtyard of Canterlot Castle wearing blue-and-silver armor that Celestia could only assume was the current uniform of the Royal Guard, was being fed a constant stream of additional magic by dozens of other unicorns in the Guard. And they were being aided by other unicorns themselves, and they by others, and so on. The result was a magical sphere that could defy even Celestia’s power.
For a time, anyway.
The alicorn had set her hostages down on the ground beneath her, enclosing them within a wide circle of fire. She had previously been keeping them suspended in the air with her, but the crying of the foals – and more than a few of the adult ponies, as well – had begun to grate on her nerves, and her calls for silence had been disobeyed. She recognized, however, that their disobedience was not intentional, but rather born from the irrational fear the ponies felt towards her glorious person. Had she not already seen to Luna’s banishment, her little sister would have had much to answer for.
Celestia walked forward along the air, striding right up to the edge of the magical bubble and glaring down into it. She was absolutely certain that, if she brought her full power to bear on the bubble, she could smash through it. She was equally certain that doing so would probably ignite the atmosphere for several miles in every direction, rendering Canterlot and much of the surrounding countryside a fiery wasteland of scorched glass and burned earth. She had to be patient with the ponies, she reminded herself. They had a thousand years of Luna’s lies controlling their actions.
Celestia closed her eyes, willing herself forward. No matter how thick the mesh, some insects could always find their way through – and with magical shields, it was no different, albeit in a more metaphorical sense. She could not bring any true power down on Canterlot while it persisted, but she could project the tiniest portion of her power forward and will it to take on her shape and form inside the barrier, manifesting in front of the unicorn who projected the shield.
The reaction was just shy of instantaneous, of course – there were dozens of spears from nearby pegasus and earth pony guards trained on her, while numerous unicorns broke off their channeling energy into the shield-generating unicorn and turned their magic towards her avatar. None of them, however, were quite foolish enough to attack her. The shield’s creator, himself, opened his eyes, but his horn continued to glow and project power to Canterlot’s barrier.
“Peace, my subjects,” Celestia assured the Guard ponies, bowing her head slightly to them. “I would speak with whomsoever my sister hath appointed as her – ”
“Release Luna from the moon,” The shield creator interrupted, stamping his hoof as he did so.
Celestia blinked several times at the affront. Such disrespect! Did Luna really tolerate such an attitude from her soldiers? “Dost thou speak for all of Canterlot in my sister’s stead?”
The unicorn offered neither confirmation nor denial. Celestia’s eyes narrowed at yet another blatant act of disrespect for a being of her station. “Thy shield is of impressive quality,” she pressed on. “And thou art no doubt acting as thou believes thou must to protect thy charge. But I speak truly when I say that I intend no harm to Canterlot, nor to her inhabitants,” she looked around to the Guard ponies surrounding her avatar, “nor her defenders! You are as mayflies standing against a hurricane. Your bravery is of the sort spoken of in legends, but it is misplaced! I would be a poor Queen indeed if I intended harm to my subjects.
“Now, noble Guard. I see no reason why – ”
“Release Luna from the moon,” the unicorn repeated, “now.”
A second interruption! Celestia’s eyes narrowed further as she forced herself not to grow angry with the gnat in front of her. “Thou art only mortal. No other pony in Canterlot could create this shield, and it is only through the aid of so many other unicorns that thou create a barrier that I cannot penetrate. Thy helpers shalt grow weary. Thou shalt grow weary. But I – I am immortal. I am the Sun. I need never sleep, nor eat, nor do anything but wait for thy failure. One way or another I shall enter Canterlot. Dost thou really wish for me to do so with flames at my hooves and my eyes filled with burning wrath? Art thou so callous towards the ponies thou art sworn to protect?”
Only silence greeted Celestia’s appeal to reason. Her eyes had slimmed to become narrow slits by this point. “Thou art – ”
“Release Luna from the moon, now!” The Guard interrupted. A third time. Deliberately. He had waited to interrupt Corona in such a fashion. Even worse, even more unbelievably, he had shouted at her.
“Thou shalt not speak to me in such a manner!” Celestia exclaimed, as she felt her control on her temper slip. She did nothing to rein it in. “Dost thou not know who I am?”
“Of course I do,” the guard responded. “You’re the Tyrant Sun – Corona.”
“That is not my name!” Celestia shouted, stomping a hoof. It had significantly less force in this mere avatar’s body than it would have in person, but it certainly served to accentuate her point. “That is a lie constructed by my treacherous sister! I am Celestia, foal! I am the Sun! I am thy Queen! Thou hast no right to bar me from assuming my throne! It is mine! Equestria is mine! All of it! Mine!”
The way in which the white-coated unicorn waited for Celestia to finish shouting at him reminded her far too much of a parent nonchalantly observing a foal’s temper tantrum. The carefully neutral, almost conciliatory tone to his voice as he spoke next did not help with the impression. “Equestria doesn’t have a queen,” he said, “it has a princess. And as long as there is a breath in my body, I will never let you have Canterlot…Corona.”
Celestia snarled, an animalistic, alien expression and sound for an equine being. Her head dipped somewhat as her wings spread. “What is thy name?” she inquired in a low voice.
The unicorn drew himself up fully, to his admittedly impressive height, though he was still noticeably shorter than Celestia herself. “Shining Armor,” he declared.
The alicorn offered a bright grin that was totally out of place on her otherwise incensed features. “A hundred years from now,” she said, “when ponies walk by the still-burning crater that this city will become, when foals turn to their parents and ask what happened here, those parents shall tell their foals a story of the hubris and the arrogance of one pony who dared to try and hold back the glory of the Sun. And the pony they speak of shalt be thou, Shining Armor!”
Celestia withdrew her avatar from Canterlot, bringing her consciousness back to her own body. Her wings beat once, dragging her backwards and away from Canterlot, even as her horn glowed and her hostages, the ponies taken from Ponyville, were wrapped in several layers of protective magic. She had no intention of betraying her word to the Ponyvillians – and besides, she would need ponies to bear witness to the rightful wrath she was about to bring down upon Canterlot. All the better that so many of them were foals: they would carry this divine retribution in their memories for all their lives.
Her horn glowed brighter as she began dragging the pure power of the Sun into her being. She would destroy Canterlot utterly, reducing it to molten rock and blackened glass. She could build a capital elsewhere, after all, it mattered not where she reigned from, and this would probably be the surest way to wipe out the majority of her sister’s influence in a single stroke –
There was a flash of green in front of Celestia. The alicorn paused in her gathering of power, as the flash realized itself as a rolled-up, short scroll, which began to fall until Celestia grasped it with her telekinesis. Was it an attempted apology on Shining Armor’s part? However much she deserved it, Celestia doubted that the foal’s tiny number of brain cells could have interacted enough to realize the depths of his mistake in speaking to Celestia as he had. Curiosity drove the alicorn forward as she unfurled the scroll and began to read.
O Queen Corona, I am your faithful servant,
Towards the signs of your return I have been most observant
I journeyed to the Everfree Forest to bring aid to you,
And serving by your side is all I pursue.
“…verse?” Celestia asked nopony, blinking several times in confusion. This letter was written in verse? Who had written it? A zebra? The sheer novelty – not to mention the genuinely servile tone which was the right and proper way to address her – was even enough to make her ignore that the letter was addressed to the lie that was Corona.
This letter is not how I wished to contact your majesty,
But in the Everfree there is a problem, a travesty.
Six ponies have entered here and despite my impediments
They are near now to reaching the Harmonious Elements.
Celestia’s eyes grew wide as something – not fear! – but something stabbed at her heart. The Elements of Harmony? Surely that was what the author of this letter was referring to, Harmonious Elements being used instead simply to continue the rhyme.
I fear that I am no match for these ponies alone,
And I beg forgiveness for drawing you away from your throne,
But if these ponies reach the ruined Palace, their destination,
They could in their foolishness cause you endless frustration!
I implore you my Queen to come to the Everfree castle
Before these ponies can cause you hassle
I offer my services and skills in plethora
Your faithful servant,
– Zecora.
Zecora. Definitely a zebra name, which explained the rhyming as well as her devotion – though the territory of Equestria had never stretched to the zebra homeland in the far south, the zebras had always been sun-worshippers, offering constant praise and supplication to the sun and, therefore, to Celestia. This particular zebra also had a gift for understatement if she thought that ponies getting their mortal hooves on the Elements of Harmony would be merely frustrating. Corrupted by dark magic as they had been by Luna (for how else could her wayward sister have turned them upon her?) the Elements of Harmony could conceivably be used to banish her once more, consign her once again to a thousand years of exile on the sun!
Celestia’s magic reached down, and she grasped her hostages and levitated them into the air again, ignoring their screams of terror as she turned and began flying with all speed towards the Everfree Forest, the site of old palace. Canterlot could wait. This was a problem that had to be dealt with, now.
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*Actually, three. Zecora as well.
(Man I've been waiting to make use of that asterisk).
More to come in this post later; I need to head back to work now.
EDIT
Okay, here we go.
Corona draws inspiration from numerous sources. Originally, I wanted her to basically act like a fairy queen, like Mab or Titania, but changes to the character have prompted her to mostly draw inspiration from two major sources.
The first is this guy:
images.wikia.com/powerrangers/images/0/06/Zedd2.jpg
Lord Zedd, from Power Rangers. But specifically, his early appearances, before he was toned down to be more comical and less scary. Not that I have a problem with the later version, but the early version was, well, terrifying, from the first moment he appeared on-screen and going forward for numerous episodes. Two specific quotes stand out as inspiration, though. The first was when Zedd was in his own personal mecha, Serpentera. The Power Rangers go to fight him and fly past Serpentera in their own mecha, which is tiny compared to Serpentera. Zedd just kind of nonchalantly watches them fly by and asks casually "What was that? A mosquito?" He was so utterly confident and self-assured, it was awesome.
But the bigger inspiring quote was from an earlier episode, after he'd failed to destroy the Power Rangers for the first time. Goldar, his henchman and a guy who used to work for the previous villain, kinda-sorta points out that he's failed, just like Rita Repulsa. And Zedd just flips out. I have rarely seen someone get so mad before or since.
"I DIDN'T FAIL! YOU FAILED! YOU ALL FAILED! JUST LIKE YOU DID BEFORE!"
Which leads us nicely to the second source of inspiration. Lots of authors have different approaches to exactly how powerful alicorns are compared to other ponies; sometimes they're not really all that special besides being basically immortal, other times, they're basically omnipotent. I like to go for something in between - physical gods, like the Norse or Greek pantheons. Alicorns are basically just big people. Or ponies, in this case, the point being that they have surprisingly recognizeable motivations, desires, and flaws, though often blown out of proportion. But they are still, in many ways, gods, and whenever I use the word "alicorn" you can basically replace it with the word "god" if you like.
In any event, there is a Dungeons & Dragons book titled Deities & Demigods, which basically deals with how to include divine beings into your campaigns. It gives stats, of course, but it also gives advice on how to roleplay gods. And this particular bit is the primary inspiration for Corona's general attitude:
Spoiled Brat: Gods get their own way. If they desire something, it appears with little or no effort. Instant gratification is normal for deities. They have little or no appreciation for the challenges and difficulties mortals face. They pass out quests and tasks with no regard for difficulty and then become wrathful when mortals object. Deities who deal directly with living things usually show understanding, but even for them there is a line between reasonable concerns and thwarting their will. When you portray such a deity, dismiss player character concerns as trivial. Get angry when they can't do what you want immediately, if that's appropriate. Otherwise, be patient but insistent, and don't negotiate.
i.imgur.com/qMC7W.png
I can't say I'm completely surprised, since Zecora's cutie mark is the sun and all...
I don't think Trixie would be surprised either after last chapter.
On an unrelated note, now there's an excuse for Twilight to be let out of prison, if her brother's still captain of the royal guard.
They've gone from inept guides to the Flim/Flam brothers. (Also, the M6 Zecora and Spike aren't going to have an easy time of it when they meet the Lunaverse Six,)
Well, that definitely explains why Zecora seemed a bit off. Also, while I imagine lairs of protective magic could work pretty well for some things, they lack both the coolness factor of caves and the likeliness to be the word you meant to use there. In other words I'm pretty sure you meant "layers" as opposed to "lairs". By the way, this story is rapidly approaching my mental shortlist of favorite fanfics of all time, which it would only be the 7th fic to get onto in my slightly over 5 months of reading pony fanfics, so that's a VERY big compliment from me. :p
Oh, I knew it! And go Shining Armor! Now go find your idiot sister and bring her home.
I hope Zecora will EXPLAIN all of this.... or be shanked.
I'm cool with either of those until we figure out what side she's on.
And interesting how the bridge was on the other side, meaning they're approaching the castle from the opposite side....
525036 perhaps, unintentionally...
Zercora is now Starscream.
It's amazing how much one episode (or two, in this case) can affect an author's writing. I'm sure you would have come up with something else to replace Shining Armor, but his presence helps strengthen a story that needs to be as tight as possible to be believable.
This is a dangerous world the Lunasix live in. It seems much more unforgiving than the mainverse. Must be all that moonshine.
And this marks the first time I've seen Zecora or Spike cast as antagonists. Nifty!
Looking forward to more!
so is spike evil or what? i get that zecora is but spike seems okay. wow this is much darker than the pilot.
Hmmm, Zebra are Sun worshippers? This could be used to great effect in other stories in this universe. I shall wait and see. Enjoyed this chapter, pretty kickass
ZECORA NOOO Well I guess that makes sense... This Everfree seems more dangerous than the one in the pilot, but then again the pilot looks like weaksauce compared to the Changelings Invasion so I guess its a normal progression for everypony.
Shining Armor is COOL I hope he shows up later in your fics.
Spike could be getting tricked here... after all, Zecora has replaced Twilight as his mother/big sister figure. He might not know about all those details involving Corona.
First post will be updated shortly with more details into the chapter, specifically Corona.
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Lairs, layers, their the same thing.
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You. You saw you.
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Prior to the wedding episode, I actually wasn't sure at all how I was going to approach this moment, and I wasn't really happy with any of the possibilities, from Corona casually tossing aside Royal Guards without any need to harm them, to her having already cowed the city into submission without addressing if she needed to kill guards in the process, and so on. I'm actually glad that Shining Armor exists and demonstrated that overpowered magic runs in the family. We get to see Corona flip out without having her need to kill anypony. While I'm not shy about the D-word in my fics, I want to avoid casual mentions of ponies *actually* dying. if somepony dies, it has to mean something.
On the note of Shining Armor, though, I have a question for the MLP creators, which is thus:
How highly ranked is Twilight's family in the nobility, anyway?
I'm sorry, but in a semifuedal society that Equestria seems to possess, one does not become a captain of the royal guard without possessing a significant title and holdings. And one certainly does not marry a princess! Oh, Cadence and Shining Armor can be in love all they want, they can be lovers to the end of their days and fawn over each other and have offspring and so on and so forth, but Princesses do not marry down the social hierarchy, not very far, anyway, as marriage carries a lot more with it than "we're in love." There's dowries to consider and stuff. What I'm saying is, Twilight's family must carry the hereditary title of Marquess or Duke, at least.
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also, if those flashbacks were any indication, twilight had an alicorn princess as a foalsitter before she was celestia's private pupil
Shame on you, Zecora. And is Spike in on this too?
I can see the end draws near, but I do expect much from the Lunaverse, maybe you could try and make this a franchise of its own!
I actually yelled "TREACHERY!" at the computer screen. Good thing Trixie is more in-tune with court plots and thus is appropriately suspicious.
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This is where the fairy tale aspect of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic comes into play.
A knight in "shining armor" marries a princess. Before which, an evil plot is brewing to take over the kingdom. This is classic (and cliche) stuff. I know, we authors have to rationalize this stuff to make it work within the contexts of our more mature writing, but writers for the show are given a little more leeway to appeal to a larger and general audience. If they want Twilight's brother to be captain of the guard for no better reason than "he just is," they can get away with that. If they want Twilight to have been foalsat by a princess, they can do that too.
What 5-12 year old girl hasn't dreamed of something like that?
So, I'm willing to give the show a pass. Now, when it comes to our stories, we tear our hair out to make it all make sense. But, that's the way it goes and we just need to adjust things as we go. I think you're talented enough to make it happen. So do it!
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I'm kind of ashamed to say that as soon as I read the line "a knight in "shining armor"" I immediately felt the need to point out that a knight is, by definition, a landed noble, even if only a, well, knight (or dame, we can be equal-opportunity in Equestria).
Zecora's a servant of Corona?!?
How dare she!
HOW DARE SHE!
Come on Spike! Grow a spine, kick that zebra witch to the curb and go warn the others. I'm sure Rarity will give you a heroic welcome when you return with them. And Ponyville could probably use a librarian with Twilight not around.
Today's lesson? Pinkie Pie is always right.
Love the inclusion of Shining Armor, it gives the ending of Boast Busted a bit of a different feel. Twi wasn't running away from being arrested by the royal guard, she was running away from being arrested by her brother.
527266
Embarassing beyond belief, and not just for Twilie. I gotta wonder how Shining Armor will take the news.
Hmm. There's a fic in there somewhere. I'll add it to my List.
527484 I would love you forever if you write that fic!
There are many signs and inconsistencies around Zecora and Spike. It could really go either way with them. Good stuff. You could say the plot is... heating up!
527484
527567
Could be a very interesting dynamic. Shining is the ultimate defensive mage, Twilight is the ultimate offensive mage, (offensive does not imply aggressive) and Trixie is the ultimate support mage.
527646
Actually, Trixie's really all about the illusions. She isn't support so much as distraction, though she's very good at them. Trixie's biggest advantage is that she practices the Hell out of each spell that she knows. This means she knows far less spells than Twilight but she is much better at them, and is capable of casting several spells simultaneously due to how easy the spells she knows have become for her. Trixie would, in general, rather find a new use for an old spell, rather than have to learn a new one.
527667
Maybe we just have a differing definition of "support" because that's exactly what I meant.
I'm still debating with myself whether Zecora really is on Celestia's side here (she readily could be without necessarily being an outright villain for it, we don't really know what stories the zebras in this setting tell each other about what happened a thousand years ago) or whether she's trying to trick her as well. I mean, someone must've disarmed all those traps, and who knows what else they did while there...
Anyway, on Twilight's family...it's pretty much headcanon for me by now that Canon!Twilight's parents must be part of Canterlot high society in some fashion. A lot of the unicorns at the Grand Galloping Gala seemed to have astronomy-related cutie marks like they do (I have a pet theory that they all may be descended from the original unicorns that created night and day before the princesses took over), they could enroll Twilight in Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, a genuine princess was foalsitting their daughter (even if Cadence simply volunteered because she liked Twilight and her brother, that says something about the circles they likely moved in even back then)...it all fits. Their precise position is still unclear, but then it doesn't necessarily matter all that much -- Celestia and Luna both clearly approve of Cadence's choice in husbands and against all three princesses combined any potential neighsayers among the rest of the court would be basically out of luck anyway.
(As far as alicorn power levels go, while a fair number of fan works have played the "god" card to good-to-positively-amazing effect, the season finale seems to have knocked a good bit of the hot air out of that idea where canon is concerned. I'm not necessarily unhappy about that, mind. If your royals are sufficiently awesome on their own merits -- and every princess so far has been --, they honestly don't need to also be able to pull deity-level powers out of their plots on demand.)
I don't think that Equestria needs to be feudal. Britain still had noble Lords and Ladies in the House of Lords until about twenty years ago. We still have heritable titles, though they have no special political power. Ponyville doesn't have a titled noble (see This Platinum Crown for a fascinating exploration of Equestian nobility) and Fancy Pants is a significant figure in Canterlot but is never referred to as having a title.
Unlike a real monarch Celestia and Luna don't have to act within the bounds of tradition or keep their nobles on side. They can't be replaced -nopony else can move the sun or moon and they don't appear to have any close kin- and can probably deal with any hosile force that could be brought to bear. This means that they can centralise authority in a way that has only been possible the the real world quite recently. Henry V's bodyguard at Agincourt contained a significant number of veteran commoners, some in senior positions. With the right cutie mark and skill set Shining Armour could have reached his position without a title.
As for Cadance... well, we haven't seen any other alicorns around the place. If she wants to foalsit somepony I don't know who would gainsay her.
528319
Possibly, but for some reason I actually prefer to think of Twilight's family being landed nobility, at least in the Lunaverse were the nobility is more important and has more sway than in the mane universe.
I really wish we had a little more insight into Equestrian society with the season finale, though. Why is Cadence a princess? What's the the princess of, or does she just hold a defunct title? And is she Luna's daughter? She's mentioned as Celestia's neice...
My head-canon is that she's got her own little fiefdom that borders Equestria and is a protectorate of Equestria.
528210
Like I said, I prefer to think of alicorns as the Gods Are Big People kind of gods, so it actually doesn't knock much hot air out of my version of them. Ever played God of War or read Everworld? That's the kind of god I think of alicorns as being. They're immortal and very powerful, but they can be overcome by mortals, with effort.
Though, mind, Chrysalis has a fairy queen thing going for her, to some extent, so she's not *precisely* a mortal herself.
I always suspected Zecora was a direct servant of Celestia - I've written her as Celestia's caretaker for the Everfree Forest - but I didn't quite think through what that meant for the Lunaverse. Oh dear. Still, it might turn out to be a Batman Gambit after all...
Also, yay, Shining Armor! I do love it when material from new episodes gets used in new chapters of existing fic. He's doing a good job here, even if he is being supported by the Power of Love^H^H^H^HSuperior Numbers. Now he just needs to go kick some sense into his LSBFF. His big defiant stance against Corona is really impressive and well written.
Oh, and Corona continues to be creepy. Yes, Corona, I'm sure everypony's reaction is because Luna has turned them against you, and nothing to do with the fact that you're about to nuke Canterlot. You are the innocent victim here.
528434
*nod* And these days I simply think of alicorns as not gods at all. Heck, the setting may simply not have any to begin with -- it's not like it needs them to work or that the existence of magic automatically implies that there must be deities around as well.
Of course, we could argue the definition of "god" until the cows come home (hi, Mooriella!). Even in real life mythologies the concept runs the gamut from the allegedly all-seeing, all-powerful Creators Of The Universe (DivineTM) to minor place or household guardians with a small shrine to their name. One traditional key part of the concept always seems to be that the entity in question be worshipped or at least acknowledged as divine by mortals, of course -- but relying on that one runs into the slight problem that there doesn't seem to be any onscreen evidence of such a thing as pony religion even existing to be found...
(Somebody's bound to bring up the argument that ponies will sometimes use Celestia's name where modern-day Xtians would refer to "God". I'm not particularly counting that as evidence -- oaths and expressions come from all sorts of sources, and invoking the name of "mere" royalty certainly has historical precedent in real life as well.)
Now, remember: this is all about the canon universe and my take on it. How people choose to depict the royal princesses -- or anyone else on the show, for that matter -- in their own fiction is their business. I've yet to see a fanfic author come to my house and force me to read their stories at gunpoint, and until that changes I'll continue to consider any potential irritation I may experience while reading primarily self-inflicted.
526848
Honestly, 'Duchess Twilight Sparkle' has a nice ring too it.
529432
So does "Vicereine Twilight Sparkle." I've decided I like the title of "Viceroy/Vicereine." And the name of the dominion one rules over: a "viceroyalty."
There should have been more historical viceroys or vicereines who did something. The only ones I know of are the Viceroyalty of India (prior to Britain assuming direct control over the subcontinent) and viceroy Nute Gunray of the Trade Federation in Star Wars.
529475
That it does.
It'd be funny if, without her realising it at all, PONYVILLE is her viceroyalty.
not that that'd ever happen but still....
Your Lunaverse isn't exactly a reverse of the normal MLP:FiM Equestria, but there are enough flipped elements that I should have even considered that in this version, Zecora really is the creepy (but quite persuasive) evil enchantress - or, at least, a Corona cultist! Of course, her idea of what Corona / Celestia is truly like is probably at least somewhat inaccurate...
On the subject of Twilight's family background, I personally flip-flop between two main options. Option one has them as old, but somewhat impoverished, noble family which explains both their connections to the Royal Family and the Canterlot elites, and why Twilight isn't really used to luxuries or anything.
Option two, which I increasingly prefer, has Twilight's parents as important members of Equestrian civil service or of the Palace administration. They're not nobles, but they very much are among the ponies who actually govern Canterlot and Equestria, instead of just ruling it (and no doubt are appreciated by Celestia, who seems to me like the sort of a person who vastly prefers competence, loyalty and good sense, along with a sense of humor, to any number of illustrious ancestors and wealth). Also, I kind of think that Celestia knighted her faithful student when she sent Twilight and the others against Discord!
And now we know why she lied about her mark, back in chapter 12.
I just have to wonder if Zecora is an evil worshiper or if she knows what has happened between Luna and Celestia. If Zebras really are a shamanistic tribe then the concept of balance between day and night is probably just as important to them as the single aspects of day and night.
And the rise (and fall) of Corona a thousand years ago could have been recorded in the stories of those tribes, seeing her return as a chance to restore said balance.
At least that's what I'm hoping for as this fic has yet to cross into the "DARK" territory and I really, really hope it won't.
527266>>527484
that's a very interesting point. especially if twilight hails from a noble family.
she wouldn't flee from trixie, she had a plethora of spells that could make short work of her
she needn't flee from the citizens of ponyville, as the most powerful non-alicorn in the land, they pose no real threat
she shouldn't flee from the royal guard, her brother could make that go away
no, twilight took flight from the terrible shame wrought upon her family by her actions.
531013
Poor Twilie. I'll make things up to her at some point.
Nice use of recent additions to the main show, you've actually made Shining Armor even more hardcore than his ennetial appearence.
Zecora was an interesting turn, though the real question is his she really helping Corona or trying to fix what once went wrong. Of course there is the third option of her own side.
I remember when Lord Zedd premiered, guy was frightening. He was cooler than Rita, brought stronger and meaner monsters, more ruthless and had the mother of all Zords. Also didn't help that I knew Serpentera was in a weight class of it's own in the original Dairanger version(Universe's personal enforcer).
Nice choice of inspirations for Corona, Zedd and the Greek gods at their pittest.
Personally I like the idea of the racial stereotypes/relations being flipped around like this. Zebras, the race that seem to usually be depicted as misunderstood, mysterious, or slightly mistrusted ultimately good guys, are actually a race of SUN worshipers that may actually wish to see the rise of their tyrant master. Do these kind of changes extend to the other races as well, for example are Gryphons depicted not as the aggressive, imperialistic, and expansionist (and depending on if the writer is a twat: always evil) state that threatens Equestria's borders like in most fics or as something else (are they long time allies in the Lunaverse)?
I desire.... WORLD BUILDING!!!
......and a twixe bar.......
538087
My take on the Griffin Kingdoms can be summed up in three words: Holy Roman Empire.
538739 Which one, the French one or the German one?
So that's what they were arguing about. Zecora intended to stop the ponies from reaching the elements, and if she failed would have Spike send a letter directly to Corona. Spike probably did this out of loyality to Zecora, though reluctantly.
Shiny doesn't mean to brag, but he's the best there is at shield spells. He's quite literally irreplaceable. Or it's difficult for a unicorn to directly pour magic into another unicorn's spell, or everypony had a brain fart at the wedding and didn't think to reinforce the shield when they found out how close it was to breaking, but Shiny'd rather you assume he's just too much better than everypony else for substitutions to work.
607091 Its wasn't French, it was Franks. So still German. Also partially proto-French, but only in the west.
But he probably means the second one; people usually do. Nobody really cares about Charlemagne. Except that one pope who crowned him Roman emperor, of course, who was actually known for being opposed to the concept of fanfiction. So he's probably got nothing to do with story.
531013 Shiny wouldn't stop the guard. He's loyal to the throne and the legal system. He'd try to clear her name in legitimate fashions, such as by encouraging her to turn herself in and explain the surely perfectly good reasons she had for bringing an Ursa into Ponyville with a flagrantly illegal spell. Then everypony can live happily ever after and stuff.
Also, Luna's not stupid enough to just ignore the situation when the Captain of the Guard's sister becomes a wanted fugitive. It's a pretty obvious conflict of interest.
2204152
perhaps he couldn't have stopped it completely, but if not for trixie's ability to contact the princess directly, he could have delayed word from reaching her long enough to deal with the situation himself
then, upon hearing twilight's account of the events, make his judgement call
>but its foundations was old
"was" should be "were"
>I shouldn’t of said that
"of" should be "have"
525625 I can now hear Starscream talking in rhyme. Thanks for that.
2585147
"My almighty lord Megatron,
in the time you were gone,
the humans have taken the cube that you seek!
Such audacity for beings so tiny and meek!"
The sad thing is that it works so well...