He had watched from afar, hoping, and dreaming, but never expecting them to come true. When they did finally meet, his life turned for the better...and for the worse.
Their relationship budded, collapsed, and then blossomed. The world was at peace until Nightmare Moon's banishment. It was only then that his anger and greed consumed him, resulting in his demise.
This is a rough draft. My objective is to use this story to add to Equestria's possible history, and follow the show's canon.
Please leave comments, especially about loopholes, lame scenes, logic flaws, and canon flaws.
*I must note that I am only using the show as canon.
Chapters (8)
I'm liking this story a lot, so far. I find the short chapters easy to follow and it's well paced. Keep going. :)
I completely and absolutely love this story! I like the way you write so that no one really seems like the bad guy and you can see the story from all sides. Best-Story-ever!
3641899
Thank you
3641899
3623010
Thank you very much for your support.
I have reuploaded chapters 1-6. After reading them for the first time in several months, I found the writing rather disjointed and unsatisfactory. Hopefully, I have made it flow better. With a little luck, I will post Chapter 7 soon, as well.
As always, comments, suggestions, and criticisms are welcome.
Thank you.
Awesome stuff! I must say, I slightly prefer this setting to chapter A.
I need a name for the city where the castle of the two pony sisters was located. I am currently debating between:
Horsylaneum (Herculaneum)
Trotpura (Tripura)
Pompony (Pompeii)
Numarenor (Numenor)
I know these are pretty lame. If anyone can think of a better one, I am all ears.
Thanks
4046697
There is more on the way.
a lot more.
This was a good first chapter. Just a few suggestions...
I would say "but he knew right then that she was the only mare for him"
There are two periods.
That's all I got. Good story so far!
Thank you. I have corrected the chapter.
What an @ss even I would put family first even at the cost of my life!