Father Night 2

by EverlastingKnightmare

The kind of date you wish you could go on.

[What a eventful week! I feel grate!]
<I know how you feel!>
{Why do I feel empty?}
[You hungry? take too big of a dump?]
{No I mean, just, my life isn’t compleat.}
<Oh fuck Full he’s in love!>
[Oh shit! Who be it?]
{You wont believe me when I tell you...}
[Oh just tells us! Can’t be that bad.]
{Chrysalis, nuff said.}
<[......]>
[Seems legit.]
<How can you be ok with this?!>
{[She’s hot]}
<.......Ok you got me.>

I laughed and looked out the window towards the Everfree. My heart thumped as fast as a rabbit runs. “She was just.....Wow.” I muttered getting up.

{Alright kids, let’s go get a date!}
[WHOO! GETTING LAID BY A EVIL CHICK!]
<*Sigh*>

I walked over to the window, my horn glowing, and suddenly I was at the entrance of the Everfree forest. “Alright Night, you can do this.” I stepped in and walked a ways. “I can track her energy, over here.” I turned towards a darker part of the forest.

[Got a flash light?]
{Fuck no.}
[Awesome.]

I walked deeper and deeper into the darkness and soon saw huts. “Eeyup, I’m going the right way.” I laughed lightly as I saw some changeling’s start to approach me. “No time for your shit, I’m here to see Chrysalis.” They flinched at my tone and flew off. “Well, I’m a scary guy.”

[Fuck yes.]
<Why do I have a feeling we are going to die?>
{Because shut up.}

I finally found something that would be a palace. “Well, here I go.” I walked into the large dark chamber, on a throne on the other side of the hall sat Chrysalis, oh man there go’s my heart!

[Calm your tits man! Play it cool!]

I gulped and approached the throne, her glare boring into me.

“Oh it’s you.” She growled. “What do you want?”

“Well I-”

“Oh! Let me guess,” She got up and started circling me. “You want to finish me off? Get rid of me so something like that wont happen again?”

“No I-”

“Oh wait I have another,” She glared at me a bit harder. “You want to throw me in a cell and let me rot?”

“Not at all-”

“Oh wait I have one more.” For the love of Christ! “Your going to have the elements of harmony turn me to stone so I can be a statue in your garden?”

“...........Done?” She nodded. “Alright, now I have come here to ask you one question that could have a drastic affect on everything.”

She raised a eyebrow at me. “And that would be?”

I gulped again, sweating a bit. “Will you........Go out with me?” Silence, my worst enemy! She looked at me with a blank stare then slowly went wide eyed. Some changeling’s by the throne were also wide eyed. I waited there with a blank face.

[I wonder what she’s thinking.]
{I’m too much of a gentalmen to read her mind.}
[Fuck.]

I swear a thousand years could have gone by. “......Are you mocking me?” She ask suddenly, one hell of a pissed off glance. “You expect me to believe what you ask?”

“Eeyup.” I nodded with a stupid grin. She looked bemused.

“Your joking, you have to be joking.” She walked back over to her throne.

“I joke you not, not unless I have some poison joke, which I don’t.” I watched her sit down and glare at me.

“I don’t have time for your jokes or threats, just leave.” I shook my head and sat down. She growled at me.

[Oh, a animal hmm? Sex is going to be wild!]
{You got that right!}
<*Sigh* Here let me take it from here.>

“Alight, how about this,” I stood up, more like New did, and began walking towards her. “One date, and if you don’t enjoy it at all in the slightest what-so-ever then you can feed off me,”

{[THE FUCK NEW!?]}
<Trust me.>
{Oh fuck it, don’t have much to do anyway.}

Wow, she was really thinking about this. “Hmm, very well.”

{NEW I FUCKING LOVE YOU!}
<All in a days work.>

“Alright, then shall we go?” I turned to the door.

“Wait, now? A bit rushed arn’t you?” She looked at me with a bit of confusion. I looked back at her.

“Oh don’t worry, I already told my kids so they won’t go after you and neither will the elements” She sighed.

“Alright, but what about my form? Who do you love the most?” Sappy moment, buckle up.

“Why, I’m looking at her now. So as of now you look perfect.” I swear the shade of red her face went almost made me laugh, I smiled with a light blushed and turned around again. “Well come on now. Don’t want to miss dinner.” She reluctantly followed me out of the building, through the forest, and out into Ponyville. I saw Dash fly by with a glare.

“She did not seem happy to see me.” I turned my head and smiled at her.

“Oh don’t worry about anypony, today is about us.” She lowered her head a bit, blushing lightly.

“There is no us.” She then said something that made my heart skip a beat. “Yet...” I could hardly hear it but I did, and now I’m happy!

[Your on a roll! Let’s get to that one place!]
{TO THE RESTAURANT!}

I almost charged forward but remembered that Chrysalis was behind me. I slowed down to where I was walking next to her. She would slowly pan to the side but I would just keep on up with her. “You don’t have to walk beside me.” She muttered, her head lowered a bit more.

“But then how would anypony know we are on a date?” She looked up at me, a glare a blush on her face.

[Oh man this is just too funny!]
<You got that right!>

I smiled and did something I’m surprised I’m still alive for, I kissed her on the cheek. “Come on, we’re going to be late.” She was stunned, I had to push her half the way before she finally started walking again. Some of the ponies there looked at us wide eyed as we entered. “Table for two?” The waiter looked at us for a moment before nodded and grabbing two menus and trotting towards a table. We took a seat and looked at our menus and when the waiter left I began to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Chrysalis looked at me bemused.

“The look on that waiters face when we came in!” I was struggling to breath now. She was starting to crack up as well before full blown laughing along with me. We sat there laughing for a good 10 minutes before we finally decided to order. “Alright, what will you have?”

“I suppose I will have hay burger with a side of hay fries.” She said bored. I stared at the menu for a while.

“I suppose I’ll have the super salad with a side of hay fries. Oh and a water.” I put the menu down.

“A water for me to.” She said as the waiter took our menus, scared shitless, and getting us to laugh like mad ponies.

“Oh this is just to good!” I laughed some more before holding my stomach. “Oh it hurts! ARGH!” I fell over for affect, which just made her laugh ever so more!

[Dude your fucking destroying this date with awesome!]
{My first date in YEARS and it go’s off without a hitch!
<Look the waiter is coming back!>
[I have a idea, here let me,]
{Alrighty.}

The waiter fearfully set our food down and turned to walk away when I tapped his shoulder. “Excuse me,” He turned slowly and looked at me with a VERY forced smile. “Do you happen to have a tishu? Because I feel like I-I-I!!!” I sneezed and Full used my powers to freeze him, not to kill him but to just freeze there. A lot of ponies gasped. “Oh sorry, don’t worry you’ll thaw in a hour or so.” I turned to see Chrysalis DIEING over that, I swear I thought I would see a lung fly out her mouth!

“I-I n-never thought y-you could be so cruel! It’s funny!” She managed to get out before looking at the frosty pony again and laughing endlessly. “I take it you don’t do this much?” She finally calmed down.

“Not unless I’m trying to impress somepony, which just so happens to be you.” I pointed my hoof at her and she blushed. “Now finish your food, we have to catch a movie!” I began eating my salad, now you wont beleve me when I tell you but I haven’t eaten anything for YEARS! Being immortal can be awesome sometimes.

[I forgot how food tasted, it sucks.]
{Your right, this salad is horrible.}
<We’v eaten sand thats better then this shit!>

Chrysalis was cracking up at the face I was making. “This salad, it’s........So bad....Argh.” I spit it out a bit and made a *blech* face.

“Your right the food here is horrible, even more so then me.”

“Then it must be the best food in the world!” I took another bite and managed to swallow the horrible stuff. “Hmm, still bad. Let’s get the hell out of here.” We got up and I placed a couple of bit on the table. “Horrible food, horrible pay.” I whispered to the iced pony, making Chrysalis laugh some more.

[That girl has got some lungs.]
{You just put a bad thought in my head.}
[Must not be that bad, your keeping it there.]
{Ok ya got me.}

As we left for the movie theater she acctualy walked next to ME! I didn’t need to do anything! I’m winning this thing! WOOHOO! When we got to the theater the pony up front told us to just go into any show.

[Oh fuck Ponies in Space!]
{Sweet shit! They finally got it out!}

“Let’s see this one, I’m in it and it’s suppose to be funny!” I walked over to the door with her following and opened it, oh man this place was crowded.

“The king is here! Everypony move up a seat!” Somepony yelled and the bottom half of the theater became freed up.

“Well, I know where we’re sitting!” I said cheerfully walking down and sitting down, she sat next to me surprisingly.

“So you are is this movie?” I nodded.

“Eeyup, Ponies in Space was one of the best thing I worked on.” the movie began and I shut up.

----I few hours later!----

We left the theater in a fit of laughter. “Hehehe! Even the ending was funny! ‘Dad, I have one more thing to tell you...’ ‘Yes Luna?’ ‘I’m pregnant’ ‘........WHAT!?’ Oh too funny!” Chrysalis laughed like there was no tomorrow. I was laughing but not as much.

“Ya, I had fun doing that part! It took all of my will not to die of laughter!” I sighed and looked at her. “So? What do you think? Worst date ever?” She laughed a bit more before looking at me.

“Hmm,”

[We’re boned.]
<{Eeyup.}>

“It..........Was the best date I have ever been on.” ...........Wat? And out of no where she kissed me! ON THE LIPS!

{<[..........FUCK YES!!!]>}

She was blushing madly when she back up. “I will.......Look forward to the next one.” She walked head hung a bit low.

“My life.......Just got a million times better!” I cheered and flew up at top speed, braking the sound wall (Cause I can’t spell the other word.) and making the half the world shake. “YES! WOOHOO!” I flew back towards Canterlot.

Comments

[Gmode]

Thanks for the reference to the best movie I've ever worked on as well!

[EverlastingKnightmare]

483113 no problemo

[Khorne]

You should have made it so you were pregnant instead of luna.
(lolololololol)

[EverlastingKnightmare]

483164 Ok yes that would have been funny but I was a bit stupid at the time

[The Keeper]

going out with a evil pony LIKE A BOSS

[jmlop0]

I think i know who Mother Morning is!