• Member Since 24th Jul, 2013
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GreyGuardPony


Just a simple pegasister who likes world building.

Sequels1



T

This story is a sequel to Of Kingdoms and Cutie-Marks


The Great and Powerful Trixie. Showmare. Illusionist.

Hunted.

With an artifact smuggler trying to kill her over incriminating information she found, she's been forced onto the road and towards the small town of Ponyville, where her destiny will clash with the town's inhabitants.

Including one pony originally from another reality.

A Skitchverse story.

Cover art by GatesMcCloud

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 120 )

Thank you for adding your fic to my group! All I all ask is that you only submit to one folder, please!

3494832

Whoops. My apologies good sir. Didn't mean to do that. :twilightoops:

This story has the best beginning of any of your stories to date. I find the plot engaging, and the characterizations very interesting.

3494845 S'all good, mate. I just like to see my group well organized, and going through and removing double submissions seems a bit troublesome.

Suhweet! This story has started on a high note, and I can't wait to read more!

3514559

Thanks DarkPony! And worry not, more is coming. :pinkiehappy:

This chapter was OK. So far I'm not too thrilled about seeing Jake in this story. I was kinda hoping this would be a side story just set in the universe - so if she did show up, it's in a much smaller role. Like, a brief cameo or little part. But, who knows, the story might still work with two main characters.

Speaking of, Trixie's story is getting more interesting.

3529951

I suppose that's the disconnect. I don't really view the story as having two main characters, so much as me naturally moving forward the world and the events from where things were left off at the end of Of Kingdoms and Cutie-Marks.

At the end of that fic, I mentioned that Skitch-Sketch would become part of an ensemble cast and I view the world as a very large ensemble.

Naturally, I think that the story will work, but I always encourage my readers to make up their own minds as the work continues. :twilightsmile:

Lab

Always a good day when one of your stories updates.

The green coated, light blue maned unicorn mare that had rigged it up was currently dragging a large wicker basked of dark blue flowers towards the lines with her magic, taking great care to make sure she didn't touch any of them directly as she floated and clipped each one to the line.

basket

She glanced up at Fluttershy as she worked, smiling at her friend continued to have her one sided conversation- well, to her at least- with Manny the Manticore.

as

3530882

Thanks Lab! A comment like that always helps put a spring in my step. :pinkiehappy:

Saw that reaction coming a mile away! *sigh* Trixie, Trixie, Trixie. You've really done it this time.

This chapter was rather predictable, from Jake getting the necklace to Jake getting offended at Trixie's show (not that it wasn't uncalled for). The action scene with the changelings was good, but choppy. It looks like it could use a rewrite.

So, while not a great chapter, we still got some story advancement, so it's not bad.

When did this go up?!

You tricked me!!

:pinkiegasp:A Bat Pony as an adoptive parent? That would explain a few things...:ajbemused:

3634225

Scootaloo 100% approves of being adopted by a mom as awesome as a bat pony. :scootangel:

Though this is probably why she's as equally attracted to the awesomeness that is Rainbow Dash too. She likes awesome ponies!

3634472 I did read a story where Luna adopts Scootaloo, how about as a side story later on how Moon Crescent adopted her and the circumstances surrounding it?

3634487

Funny you should mention that. I'm actually working on a story about just that, on the side, while I keep working on this one.

3634493 :yay: :yay:There's also one where Diamond Tiara adopts her.

Lab

Not only was it not-a-spider, but also not-a-cockroach.

I'm sorry, couldn't resist.

Lab

I would not want to be that chicken.

This chapter was decent. I felt the chase with the Clockwork Horror maybe went on a little too long, but the rest of the story was fine. It had some advancement and more character interactions, which is good. Though, I still feel like Jake's presence in the story is unneeded.

Good little short chapter, but it felt a little slow and underwhelming. Almost like you could have done a lot more with it. But for showing us a new group of Earth Pony Magic, it's decent.

I’m still waiting for the necklace to go really haywire and accidentally summon Ace Blueblood.

I honestly have nothing to say about this chapter. I found it boring, and I still feel that Jake should not be the focus of this story.

3820495

And, with respect Samuru, the idea that Skitch is the focus of this story is boggling to me.

None of her character threads are driving this story, the mention of her being harassed by muckrakers more of a background thing.

Meanwhile, the villains are tied to Trixie's past, have been interested in her, and even the illusion monsters only exist because the crime lord that killed her family used an ancient amulet to try and get her.

And the next chapter, is going to have a large section with Trixie, with her playing a the big damn hero.

Could this story be tightened up some? Probably. I've been juggling a lot of stuff as of late. But I just do not view this story as being "about" Skitch.

3820641 OK, maybe the focus of the story was the wrong use of words. However, I feel she has way too much time than she should, and it's really not that interesting. It honestly feels like she's just shoehorned in to keep things in the "Skitchverse".

3820666
Your opinion here makes me wonder if you feel Skitch has too much screen time in my Rockets & Rainbooms….

3820704 I have not read your story, so I do not know.

As I said in an earlier comment, I feel that Jake would have worked better as just a side character. This story could have been a part of the "Skitchverse" without Jake being a major focus. Many of GryGuard's other stories do this, and they do it better. Here, since it's Ponyville, it can be understood why Jake would appear; she lives here. But did she need to become a major secondary plot? I personally don't find her story that engaging. it was predictable that she was going to get the necklace, and the creatures appearing over town was obviously connected to her because of events in the previous stories.

But, this is my opinion, and people are free to disagree.

3820732


She's not the major secondary plot.
Spoiliers!

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The major plots here are;
1; Trixie's struggle with Evil McJerkbag via henchponies and Thorn.
2; Twilight's response to the abduction of Spike.

Skitch does contribute here; she's an element of the story in that she is the humanizing element for Trixie, Trixie's uses her in her show, and Trixie's use of Humans in her show provides a pacing decision in that it sends her away momentarially. The necklace gives her a reason to return, and adds special effects, but the story isn't about Skitch or the necklace. They just empower the other elements. :trixieshiftright:

As for it being predictable that she got the necklace... okay. And? Predicable doesn't mean bad the same way that tropes aren't cliches. And yes, the creatures appearing would be connected to her due to previous stories... because that's foreshadowing. Chekov's Gun stuff. :rainbowhuh:

Sammy, you are spot on in saying that those are your opinions and thereby they're not universal. But if you want to contribute, you want to do more than present an opinion. Give details or suggestions! I'm guessing on some level you do like this story, as you keep reading it, and you clearly have a take on where to take it. So help him make it better! :pinkiehappy:

Hey Skitch, the Rainbow Factory called.

They want all of your Equestria's ponies.

3821104

Sorry, we don't have an extradition treaty with that universe. :rainbowwild:

So the Rainbow Factory has shown up does that mean Sunny Town and the Torture Chamber underneath Sugarcube Corner is there as well?

“A balrog.” She gulped, “A demon of the ancient world.”

is it Tuesday already? There isn’t going to be much Ponyville left, at this rate!

Lab

Bowl of clam chowder and a new chapter of Boast Bypassed. Today is a good day.

Um, you got Twist's lisp wrong. Generally when lisps are transliterated it's done so thru changing th S's to Th's.

4416716

Fair point. :ajsleepy: I'll make sure to fix that as soon as I can.

4416728
While you're on the subject of typo fixes, you used the wrong 'horde' for 'hoard'.

'Hoard', refers to the action of stockpiling and gathering, or a cache - E.G., a dragon's hoard. 'Horde' is a large group of something. Usually a large group of something out to get blood - a horde of Orcs.

WHEW! New chapter of Boast Bypassed! And with a Blarog to boot! I can't tell you how much I loved that ending for the chapter!!!

Lab

Aww, poor Trixie. She really needs homeowner's insurance. Cartowner's insurance?

Poor Trixie. Great chapter though.

I have to admit, you managed to make Trixie likeable.

4507957

I suppose it would be cart-owners insurance.

4507990

Don't worry! Everything will work out.

4509366

Thanks Voldine. I was always inspired by the Lunaverse to get writing, so I wanted to go with a more heroic Trixie. :twilightsmile:

Lab

4516705 Insurance is expensive in Ponyville anyway, especially if you get the policy that covers damages caused by the CMC.

Personally I can see magic, honesty and generosity coming together to make Trixe a new home. Applejack has the know how I'd imagine to build a new cart, Twilight cold cast a spell to make the interior bigger, and I doubt very much that it take much at all for Rarity to convince the others to help build Trixe a new cart.

All this talk of the multiverse reminds me of my O.C., who travels to a whole bunch of different realities.

So Skitch-verse Cadence was born as an Earth Pony?

4534489

That is a good point, and not one that I was thinking about. Admittedly. That being said, I think that the plan that actually happens in the next chapter will be a bit more long term satisfying. :pinkiehappy:

4545646

Gotta love world hoppers. :pinkiehappy:

4553570

Yup. I had made that decision before someone told me that she was established as a pegasus in some book that I've not had a chance to read. I'm going to keep her as an earth pony though.

I think it fits the character arc I plotted out for her in the Skitchverse better.

4556436 Well it is an AU. Such liberties are to be exptected.

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