The Fool in Equestria

by Autismo555

Apple Fools!

Apple Fools!

Big Macintosh carried a pair of heavy barrels weighted down by the pile of apples contained. He set them down at a picnic table, where all the other apples were piled up in different baskets. It had been a hard day's work down at Sweet Apple Acres, where apples seemed to pop up every day just to be harvested for the occasion, minus the brief winter days.

"Eeyup," was all Big Macintosh said before he wiped a sweat from his brows.

Big Mac turned around to the field...then he froze in complete shock.

The apple trees he bucked somehow sprouted a fruit hated most by the Apple Family: Pears. It was as if the trees had miraculously grew the acidic fruit while Big Mac's back was turned for a full second. There was absolutely no way any pears could grow in the apple farm.

"Eenope."

Big Mac went back to the trees he supposedly bucked and knocked the pears down. The red stallion squashed a few pieces of the fruit while he went over to the trees with the apples still hanging on the branches, ready to be bucked down and made into a delicious cider.

Deep into the apple orchards, Big Macintosh bucked a few trees down, raining sown apples into the maws of awaiting baskets. He knocked down a few trees before he came across a big tree, decorated with dots of red, yellow and green residing on the branches. BIg Mac reeled in his hind hooves back and gave the tree a good kick.

No apples came falling down.

Big Mac scratched his head in utter confusion. He knew that tree made enough good vibrations to send the succulent fruit tumbling down into the barrels without any problem. Without any further ado, Big Mac bucked the tree again with a little added strength.

The tree was shaking from the force.

But still no apples fell down.

"Eenope," Big Mac said, losing his patience.

He gave the tree another swift buck.

The tree started shaking rapidly from the kick.

Still no apples.

"EeNOPE."

Another buck...

Another violent shake...

No apples...

"EENOPE!"

One more buck...

One more violent shake...

No apples...

Big Mac's face glowed red, crimson steam blowing out his ears and snorted through his nose.

"EENOPE!"

Big Mac used another buck on the tree with full force. The tree suddenly toppled back by the kick and knocked another tree behind it down. It led to another tree going down, and another, and another. Soon, the trees continuously fell over like a big line of dominoes, leaving Big Mac sweating and his facial expression frozen in fright.

"Eenope."

In a little hurry, the workhorse turned tail and trotted swiftly away from the scene, no wanting the blame placed on him. He trotted back to the picnic table...then found himself staring at the baskets full of pears, all of the same size. His eyes shrunk as he saw his precious apples replaced with pears in a short time.

"EENOPE!" Big Mac threw himself down onto the ground and pounded it with his hooves with a tantrum. "Eenope, Eenope, Eenope, Eenope, EE-HEE-HEE-NO-HO-HO-HOPE!"

"Big Mac!? What in tarnation is all the hubbub!?" Big Mac looked up and saw his Granny Smith trot creakily out of the house, with a face as sour as the lost green apples. "Don't you know that it's mah two-hour afternoon nap, Big Macintosh!? What's the idea wakin' me up from mah sleep!?"

Big Macintosh opened his mouth to speak...

"Heavens ta Betsy, what in tarnation is that!?" Granny Smith shouted, pointing to the baskets of oddly-shaped fruit left on the picnic table. She took one of the fruits, sniffed it and nibbled it. "Pears. Ah thought as much. So this is what ya do in yer bedroom all by yerself, Big Mac! Munchin' on these here goldarn fruits while nopony is around! Have ya no family respect!?"

Big Mac was completely petrified, save for his eyes shooting back and forth and the beads of nervous sweat running down his face. He was at least thankful to Celestia that Granny Smith was not referring to the other thing he does in his bedroom.

"Wait just a darn-tootin' minute," Granny said, spotting something else in the baskets.

Big Macintosh held his breath. In both shock and horror, he saw Granny Smith pull out the other thing he kept secret: a recent issue of Playpony he got secretly through the mail. Big Mac felt his red hind hooves turned yellow as Granny looked at him with the most intimidating of all stares.

"You sicken me," she said with venom.

She reached for her back and pulled a switch, the same dreaded switch used on Big Macintosh as a little colt whenever he got into some serious trouble. And now Big Macintosh was gonna get it...and he was gonna get it hard. Big Macintosh backed slowly then turned tail as Granny Smith chased him with the switch in her mouth.

"You come back here, Big Macintosh! Yer gonna get a switchin' even yer grandchildren can feel!"

"Eenope!"

^W^

"Hoho-hahahahahaha!"

The Fool slapped his knee and guffawed as he watched the chase between the red stallion and the old green mare take place through his telescope. He held a stolen apple in his hand, with a can of industrial strength super glue he used on the apple stems in the big tree sitting next to him.

*GASP*

"Oho-hoho-hoho! I guess a pear a day does not keep karma at bay!" he yelled over his laughter, now creating soreness in his lungs. "Now this is the best dinner and a show I have ever seen since the guy in the 'JERK' shirt tore down the Ye Olde Shakespeare Theatre! Hohoho-hahahaha!"

The Fool raised an apple to his mouth then froze. He looked to the audience in the camera.

"Pardon me."

The Fool turned the camera away, now gazing at the Sweet Apple Acres stretching on to the farm.

CRUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH!

GULP!

The Fool turned the camera back on him, who tipped his mask back onto his face.

"Sorry folks, no spoilers! The budget wouldn't allow me to reveal my face in this story. Hohohoho-hahahaha!" The Fool dropped off the branch, swung backwards with his gloved hands latched on the branch, swung back forward, did a full 1800 in the air and landed on his feet from the ten-foot high tree.

"Now then, who's gonna be my next sucker of a good, harmless prank?" The Fool wondered out loud. "It doesn't matter who it is, so long as I get the next laugh." The Fool hummed as he danced out of the apple orchard, jumping up and kicking his heels together in the process.

Author's Note:

Third chapter! You know the drill!

Laugh! Boo! Like! Dislike! Comment! No comment!

Five out of six, I would highly recommend.

Comments

[Animerulz21394]

Well that was interesting :)

[lol2424242424]

What's next, replacing rainbow dash's house with cotton candy?

[The Watcher 509]

Dan reference... A MOTHERBUCKING DAN REFERENCE! YEAH