• Published 12th Nov 2013
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Empress Rarity's 250th Birthday - Lord-Commander



Today is the Birthday of the Empress of the Crystal Empire, Rarity Belle. Everypony is excited for the celebrations, that is everypony except for one...

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Chapter 1

Outside of the Crystal Faire, Hearth’s Warming Eve, and the excitement caused from the Equestrian Games, there wasn’t a day celebrated more in the Crystal Empire than the Imperial Birthday. The birthday of their beloved and eternal Empress, the Bearer of the Crystal Heart, Rarity Belle.

And that day was today.

Which made the job of one pony in particular, the Empress’ new-ish seneschal, more stressful than she hoped it would be. Lady Merry Sapphire stood up from her spot by the top of the stairs and gazed down into the interior of the Crystal Palace’s Grand Hall. While she felt driven to make today’s crowning event, The Imperial Birthday Party, a rousing success, it wasn’t her primary motivation.

Merry Sapphire was determined to make this the Best. Birthday. Ever. Or even the best day ever in Empress Rarity’s long and storied life. Period. She was sure that by day's end, nopony would ever forget the Empress’ big Two-Five-Oh bash.

Everything must be perfect. Grand. Truly spectacular for the Crystal Empress, she thought to herself as her eyes darted around the hustling construction and bustling event staff preparing for the evening’s extravaganza.

Lady Sapphire had spent almost every waking moment for the last three weeks organizing, scheming, and planning for today. Every hour was crammed to bursting and every minute had a purpose. Meetings, parties, parades, celebrations—Sapphire had been sure to map out everything.

The dark blue crystal mare walked down the stairs and around the Grand Hall, barking orders at the workers, and making last minute design changes. Everything must be perfect.

Her eyes narrowed in annoyance as she saw a pair of workers struggling to get a “Happy Birthday” banner hoisted up and positioned across the Grand Hall.

Sapphire trotted over to the pair. “What are you doing? What is this?”

“My Lady,” said one of the workers with a quick bow. “We’re just getting the banne-”

“You call that a banner?” asked Sapphire. “It looks more like a glorified streamer. Take it back at once, and get a bigger one. Something that glitters brightly.”

The two ponies looked at each other, and then back at Sapphire. “But my Lady, w-”

“Glitters brightly!”

“Yes, my Lady?” asked a nearby hoofmaid.

“Mmm?” replied Lady Sapphire, turning her wrath and attention on the poor mare.

“My name is Glitters Brightlee. D-did you call for me?”

Sapphire replied with pointed silence, turning in place and trotting off to terrify some other poor soul in her quest for birthday perfection. She knew that she’d already earned a rather tumultuous reputation here in the palace, here at the end of her fourth month on the job. But today was not about making new friendships. It was about rekindling old ones. It was abou-

“ARE YOU USING GREEN!?” Sapphire’s eyes nearly bulged out of her crystal skull as she pushed past a pair of painters on ladders towards a third, delicately balancing several bundles of fabric on her back.

The mare in question froze and a streamer dropped from her mouth. Before she could answer the sour scheduler, Sapphire bellowed at her from the base of her ladder like a dog barking at a cat stuck in a tree. “HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU PONIES, NO! FOR THE LAST TIME, NO GREEN!”

Sapphire pushed off the ladder and clutched her eyes shut, slowly counting to ten and ignoring the ponies around her scrambling to steady the poor mare’s ladder. Slowly, she exhaled, opened her eyes, and turned to take in the rest of the organized chaos around her. Most of the ponies had stopped completely, but the wise few still continued their work, albeit with an ear turned towards her.

“Do I have to remind everypony just exactly what today means? Who we are decorating for? It must be perfect. Should I approve it, so will the Empress.” Sapphire paused and carefully scanned the room. “Now then, if there is disagreement on this, or failure, I could always use a few more volunteer jousters for the next Crystal Faire.”

A grumbly muttering of ‘yes ma’am’s’ rose from the otherwise cowed crowd as the crystal ponies dove back into their work. They knew the mare was good to her word. Sapphire couldn’t help but grin as she trotted back to her spot.

She watched as the workers scrambled as if she was cracking a whip. She smirked a little at the thought; perhaps she should have brought her whip. It would have been more entertaining... to her at least. She adjusted her cream colored cravat and silver vest before returning to a more important matter her tea.

The decorations were going smoothly, or at least better than she had originally thought. She sipped her tea quietly as she ran through her mental list. Banners, ribbons, music, entertainment, floats, food... everything was going according to plan. She was going to make sure this was the best day her Empress ever had. It was going to be fantastic, and Rarity was going to love it.

Sapphire was beaming with pride, grinning from ear to ear.

"Lady Sapphire?" came the voice from her side.

"Yes?" she replied, her voice soft. There was something tranquil, musical about it when she wasn't yelling. The guard pony looked at her for a while, making her uncomfortable.

"Umm, hello?" she asked, tentatively.

The stallion blinked a few times, realizing he'd been staring. "Yes ma'am, sorry ma'am. You asked me to report on any disturbances in the Imperial Suites."

"Yes?"

"Well... there's a disturbance in the Imperial Suites."

* * *

To anypony passing by the double doors that lead into the Royal Suite, it sounded as if some sort of monster had broken into the room and claimed the Empress’ lair for itself. The groaning and muffled racket caused the guards outside of the door to look at each other uneasily and back again at the door.

"I think you should be the one to go in and check it out," said one after a few minutes of listening to the sounds coming from the other side of the door.

"Me?! Why me? I did it last time, and it was awkward," the other shot back, his face reddening. "Why don't you go do it?"

"Because I'm the senior officer."

"Which is exactly why you should go do it. Lead by example, that sort of a thing."

"Example? Wait, you said you already did this. Go do it again."

"But I have a wife and two foals." The other guard stared at his companion, but before he could reply, another voice cut in.

"What's going on here?"

The two guards swung around towards the direction of the new voice, and quickly saluted. The black stallion's sheathed hooves rapped across the floor with authority as he approached them. He was also a crystal pony and a guard, but his armor was far more detailed with its additional crystal plating and intricate etched designs. It was the armor of the Commander of Her Majesty's Royal Guard.

"Commander Onyx, sir, we just, uhh..."

"Yes, Sergeant?" he asked, his voice unusually calm.

"Well sir, neither of us wants to be the one to wake up Empress Rarity. She gets cranky when she wakes up early," he replied as his eyes darted back and forth.

"... You've got to be kidding me."

"No sir, listen for yourself." The guard stepped aside, and the Commander placed his ear against the door and listened to the groggy mumbling within. Rolling his eyes, Commander Onyx stepped back and frowned at the two.

"Get Lady Sapphire," he sighed.

"I'm already here, Commander," came a musical voice. Lady Sapphire walked around the corner, and the two guards nearly fell over. One could hardly blame them. Lady Sapphire was truly a gem among crystal ponies. Her crystals were patterned in a radiating starburst effect all along her dark blue coat, which also matched her similarly shaded eyes. Complementing her dark coat and face further, her silver mane cascaded down her neck, perfectly framing her face. Sapphire may have held the title of Seneschal to the Empress, but she did so with the grace and toned body of an athlete.

Not to mention that she had this unnerving ability to appear out of nowhere, and scare ponies within an inch of their lives. A fact that had amused Commander Onyx more times then he cared to count.

* * *

Rarity groaned as she twisted further into her bedding, fighting with herself. She didn't want to get up, not yet. She wanted to stay here where it was warm. Well, warm for her. To any other pony, her bed might as well have been a freezer. More than a century ago, the immortal monarch fell victim to the misfiring of a spell and became something of a living ponysicle. Her coat would generate a thin layer of ice as a result.

Even further back in time, she and the Elements of Harmony had been tasked with defending the Crystal Empire from the Windigos. During the battle, the Crystal Heart had been damaged, and Rarity had to merge with it in order to save both it and the lives of her friends. In the process, she became bound to the Crystal Heart, becoming its carrier. It would take years later until she accepted the Crown from Princess Cadence.

But right now, she had other things on her mind than history and responsibility.

Five more minutes, she bargained with herself as she turned over. Rarity knew this was terrible behavior for both a lady and a monarch but she just didn't care. Five more minutes and then I'll be up.

She heard the door open and silently cursed as voices from outside filled the room. It was too early for her little ponies to be on her like this. Normally, she would have had another half hour or so to sleep before they would gather enough courage to enter her room. Not today, it would seem.

It's too soon for this, she whined to herself.

"Rise and shine, Lady Rarity!" she heard the sing-song voice of Lady Sapphire call softly out. "We can't have you missing a single minute of your special day!"

Rarity let out a whine in response and snuggled further into her bed. She heard a chuckle from Sapphire. "Come on, my Lady, it's time to get up..."

She heard the other pony cross the room, and then suddenly, there was silence. It wasn't the peaceful ‘you’re-alone-in-your-bedroom’ kind of silence, no. This was the ‘sort-of-unnerving-silence-in-which-you-knew-something-was-about-to-happen’ silence. Very carefully, Rarity reached a hoof up and pulled back her flowered sleep mask. There was nothing that she could see out of place in the darkened room.

And no pony either.

Rarity let out a sigh of relief. I must be imagining things again. I'm going to have to tell Twilight that the hallucinations are back. She turned over in bed, and Sapphire's face filled her field of vision.

"Happy Birthday!"

Rarity screamed as she backed quickly away from the other mare. Her scream was cut short when another surprise greeted her: the edge of the bed. The Empress fell and hit the floor with a dull thunk.

"Oh... Oh, dear," she heard her seneschal mumble from the top of the bed. "My Lady... a-are you okay?"

"Just peachy," grumbled the Empress as she worked her hoof out from underneath her. "I assume you have a good reason for climbing into my bed and shouting at me so early in the morning?"

"But of course, My Lady," replied Sapphire with a giggle. "It's your birthday, and you have quite the busy schedule to attend to!”

"Oh my, my birthday is today, is it?" The Empress groaned and started to stretch. She felt her joints pop and protest in a rather unladylike fashion, but it felt oh-so-good. She ignored the bubbly giggles from Lady Sapphire. No doubt it was probably quite funny to the young mare to see her ancient monarch creak and moan so while still in her red silk pajamas, and with her mane in an utter mess.

"Oh you," cooed Lady Sapphire, as she herded the Empress into her bathroom. "I can't believe you'd forget your own birthday. I mean today is like a second Hearth's Warming! We got the cakes, and the..."

But Rarity wasn't listening to her. She’d already tuned the crystal pony out at the mention of her birthday.

She'd never really celebrated her birthday until she became an Empress. Growing up, her family hadn't been in the best financial situations. That didn't change until later in life, when she started her boutique. Even then, she never really celebrated her birthday. After all, what’s the point? It was just another day. Sure, she could have abused the day to show off her next dress, or socialize with important someponies. But to celebrate that you're getting older? The idea seemed maddening to the Empress, and the fact that Pinkie Pie had enjoyed birthdays so much only made to prove her point.

She remembered her first real birthday party. She had to admit that it was fun when she thought back to that day as a smile graced her face. It was with Twilight and the others once they found out when it was. Even then she insisted that it be just a small get-together, much to Pinkie's distress and Rarity's enjoyment.

But it looked like the silly pink pony got the last laugh in.

"... I mean, I don't even think the Gala could compare to your... Umm, Empress?" asked her seneschal, when she realized Rarity was staring off into a corner. "What are you looking at?"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry dear. I guess I’m still a little sleepy." Rarity looked down at her already-drawn bath. "Oh, so soon? I don't even remember... When did you get my pajamas off?"

Lady Sapphire rolled her eyes and smiled. “You’re so silly. In you go!” she said as she pushed the immortal monarch into the bath.

“Wait, I-” sputtered Rarity, as her icy skin hit the warm water. A roiling mist spilled out over the edge of the tub and filled the room, like a tub of dry ice in a hot room.

"Wow," said Sapphire. "I'm going to have to remember this for next Nightmare Night. Well, I'll let you be,” she said as she merrily trotted out the door. “I’ll be waiting right outside if you need anything!"

Rarity did not share her enthusiasm, but set about her normal bathing routine anyway. "I see a talk about personal space is in order, too," she muttered to nopony in particular.

* * *

Lady Sapphire fiddled with the straps of her saddlebags as she waited for the Empress to finish in her bathroom. She was quite proud of the fact that her saddlebags could hold everything she needed to function as Empress Rarity's seneschal. Note pads, quills, a reference guide on Crystal Empire law, several planners, a makeup kit, a few articles of clothing for emergencies, her reading glasses and most importantly, The Schedule.

Sapphire looked over her shoulder and found herself looking into Empress Rarity’s bedroom mirror. She smiled at her reflection before adjusting the small pin on her silver vest. It matched Empress Rarity's cutie mark, but the three blue gems were inlaid on a gold disk. It was the symbol of her office as the Seneschal to the Imperial Crown, and she wore it proudly. Few were the ponies that could claim to have as much contact with the reclusive monarch, let alone annoy her as often as she did and live to tell the tale.

She waited as patiently as she could, knowing that Empress Rarity liked to take her time getting ready for the day. After all, timeless beauty takes time.

Lady Sapphire looked around the room and nodded appreciably. She was a few months into her role, but she was still awed by the grandeur of the Imperial Suite.

The bedroom alone was like something out of a dream. With its white marble walls, the octagonal room felt like it was carved from living crystal. Three great windows along the Western walls filled the room with soft light without the risk of snow blindness in the morning.

Eight jewel-encrusted columns stood in each corner, stretching from the floor all the way up until they disappeared into the ceiling, which was enchanted to look like the late summer sky. Rich purple tapestries, with the telling of the Empire's history, hung between each pair of columns, except for the columns along the three windowed walls to the West.

Her eyes wandered to inspect the rest of the room’s layout. Empress Rarity's royal bed was against the Northern wall on a raised platform directly across from the main doors. Two doors flanked the bed along the Northmost walls, and led to Empress Rarity's personal office and her bathroom, respectively.

The click of the bathroom door opening caught Sapphire's attention, and the Empress stepped out of the bathroom in her silk bathrobe with a towel wrapped around her mane. The Crystal Empress passed Sapphire and walked over to her exotic vanity. Despite the coiling steam spilling out of the bathroom, she could already see the frost layer beginning to rebuild itself on Rarity’s crystal coat.

"Well, Empress, I did what I could to clear your morning, but there are still some things that need your attention." Lady Sapphire pulled out The Schedule from her saddlebag along with her red reading glasses.

Rarity nodded thoughtfully, and began the intricate process of combing her mane. An army of brushes, curlers, and hairpins were wrapped in a light blue hue, and descended upon the unicorn in a flurry of activity.

"First on the list is this week’s brunch with the nobility. Nothing unusual, just a hoofful of the more persistent Imperial Elite. After that you have meetings with the Griffin Ambassador, the Ambassador from Equestria, a Defense Council meeting, and the State-head debate on some new legislation. Then lunch."

"I thought you said that you took out all the unimportant agenda items," chided Rarity, as she carefully applied some eye liner. "Isn't that more than I usually have to do in the mornings?"

"Well... I had to jam in the government stuff early, so the rest of today's celebrations could move forward without any interruptions."

Rarity paused and looked at Sapphire in the mirror's reflection. "Celebrations?"

Sapphire was too excited to notice the look of mounting horror on her Empress’ face, and pressed on. "Oh, yes. After lunch, there’s a Parade in your honor-"

"Parade?"

"Then there is the Public Walk to the city center for the post-parade ceremony-"

"Wait, I-"

"After that, we have to get you ready for the BIG party and celebrations for this evening."

"Oh. That sounds... wonderful, darling."

Sapphire watched as Rarity finished her final touches. She looked perfect. Just like in the pictures and paintings throughout the castle. Just like she always does.

Rarity's magic illuminated a small cabinet to the side of the vanity that contained her crown and other royal items. Even though Lady Sapphire had seen Rarity wear her Royal Ensemble on a number of occasions, it never failed to impress.

Designed by Empress Rarity herself, the Regalia of the Crystal Empire left no doubt about her absolute rule, while still reflecting her natural generosity. It incorporated a three pronged crown and chest plate like the Alicorn Princesses of Equestria, but the greaves and purple cape were more similar to the ones worn by the ancient rulers of the Empire. Save for the cape, each element of the Regalia was made of platinum and socketed with gems, shaped in the pattern of the snowflake emblem of her Empire.

"Well then,” the monarch sighed as she gave herself one last appraisal in the mirror. “Let's get this over with.”

She walked to the door, and opened it with her magic. "Lady Sapphire, could you be a dear and go tell Chef Cake that the Empress needs some extra "Giddyup" in her morning coffee? It’s going to be a long day.”

"Yes, My Lady," she answered. The crystal mare bowed to her Empress and took off down the hall.

Rarity let out a sigh as soon as the other pony was gone and turned to walk the other way down the hall. At its end was a dining room where her weekly brunches were held. No doubt, it would already be full of nobles waiting to pounce on her with requests, demands, appeasements, and who knows what else, all in the name of getting on her good side.

"Happy Birthday, ma'am," said Commander Onyx as he fell into line next to her. The other guards slipped in behind the two, keeping their silent vigil.

"Thank you, Commander," replied Rarity as her entourage moved down the hall. "Have you heard what Lady Sapphire has planned for me?"

Her Commander nodded. "She's quite excited about it. I think she's been planning it for a while."

"What a joy." Nothing in Rarity's tone or posture reflected anything of the sort.

Commander Onyx forced a smile as he looked over to the monarch. "Empress," he said softly. "Lady Sapphire may be new, but it’s clear to me that she just wants the best for you."

"I know, Onyx, I know," replied Rarity as she took a deep breath, an act that coincided with her pushing her feelings deep down. "But... well, you know how I am about birthdays."

She met the commander's eyes. They were full of compassion and… was that pity? Something dark stirred within her. Something that wanted to lash out.

"Your Majesty, we've talked about this. She's just new, full of youth and energy. You just need to-"

"I don't need you telling me what I need to do, Commander." Rarity had said it with so much ice in her voice that she quickly looked him over to make sure she hadn't accidentally encased him in it. Luckily, he wasn't, though he was clearly flustered by her sudden outburst.

"I'm sorry, Commander," she said quickly. "I don’t mean to take it out on you. It's just that... well..."

"I understand... Rarity," Onyx smirked. The group continued their way down the hall for a while until he spoke up again. "How old are you going to be again?"

"Commander!" exclaimed Rarity. "You should know that a lady never reveals her age."

"Well then, I can’t imagine anypony else at your age-"

"Just a moment," interrupted Rarity, pointing at the guardspony. "What do you mean 'at your age'?"

Commander Onyx blinked a few times and, playing dumb, continued. “Why I can’t imagine anypony else at your age looking as stunning as you do now. I’d wager a year’s worth of bits that you look half-again as young as Princess What’s-her-Sparkle in Equestria."

"Nice save, dear."

"Thank you, Empress."

The group stopped at the double doors leading into the Grand Dining Room. Onyx reached over and adjusted Rarity's crown, and gave her a folder bearing the Guard's crest. "This is the review packet for the State today. I'll see you later, Rarity."

"You aren't coming in?" she asked, taking the folder with her magic.

The black pony shook his head. "No, I have a few things that have to be taken care of. You're on your own in there today. But I'm sure that quick wit and sharp tongue of yours will see you safely through."

The Empress took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Almost immediately, streamers and a chorus of "Happy Birthday!" assaulted her.

"Careful, Commander," she whispered to the black stallion standing beside her. "Flattery will get you everywhere."

Before he could say another word, Commander Onyx found himself staring at the backside of the door as it shut quietly in his face.

* * *

My first time planning a Royal Birthday, just wait until Sis hears about this, thought Lady Sapphire as she hummed her own version of the happy birthday song. I wonder if this is a special sugar or something.

The mare walked down to the kitchens, and she was nearly there when she heard commotion coming from with it. Carefully she placed a hoof against the door and pushed it open. The kitchens to the Crystal Palace were… well, large but lacked much of the extravagant detail that went into the rest of the palace.

It was spacious, but somehow still cozy with its many tables, ovens, fridges, cupboards, and all manner of equipment needed to feed the Empress, her staff, and all the visiting guests. Normally it was spotless, but now it looked like a small war had taken place. There was something unusual going down. In fact, several of the cooks and assistant chefs had stopped work completely to stare at the two ponies that were yelling at each other.

"Look, Ah don't give a damn about whose birthday it is," shouted the chef-pony, his Trottingham accent coming in thick. Unlike most of the servants in the Crystal Palace, he was a unicorn. His wild orange mane looked more like flames, even more so when he was angry. Sapphire could barely make out his apple pie cutie mark underneath all the flour caked on his rump.

"Dis is still mah kitchen, I'm the bloody head chef, not you."

"Then how do you expect us to get this cake done?" shouted the target of his ire, a light red crystal pony mare in a chef’s coat.

"Oh for the love of- You don't bake the entire cake at once, ya daft mule! Ya bake it in sections and then put it together.”

"Oh... I guess that could work," she said as she turned around and began working again as if nothing happened.

The grumpy unicorn planted a hoof in his face and muttered a string of obscenities under his breath. Lady Sapphire cautiously approached the stallion and tapped him on the shoulder. Thoroughly surprised by the action, the chef leaped into the air with a girlish scream.

"Oh my gosh, I am so, so sorry Chef Cake. I didn't mean to-"

"DIDN'T MEAN TO? WHY YA BELLIGERENT SAPPY EYED LITTLE- oh, Lady Sapphire," he said, calming down as he recognized the pretty mare.

"Is everything alright, Mr. Cake?" she asked as she looked around the messy kitchen.

"Well, it is now. Just getting things ready for the Empress' cake. It's an old secret family spin on the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness."

"Oh, well then, I'll just make this quick." Sapphire cleared her voice and did her best to sound official. "Her Majesty, Empress Rarity, asked that you place a little bit of something extra in her coffee, a 'giddyup' to keep up with today."

"Ah, I see," he said, wiping some of the flour off his hooves. "Ya know, Ah thought we were done with this."

"Done with what?" she asked as the chef pony rummaged through a cupboard.

"Why, all these 'little extra's' she likes so much. Usually only does it when she's stressed. Ah remember back a few years ago when she had one too many 'giddyups'. Boy that was a fun night." The unicorn pulled a bottle out of the cupboard and gave it a little swirl. "I don't think the maids managed to get all the stains out of the carpet, and we burned it. Oh, heavens did we burn it as if it was damned."

"What... What is that?"

"This? Oh, this is Grand Marenier. It's an orange-flavored liqueur from Prance. Goes great in coffee. Mix in a lil’ cream and ya got a yummy dessert. Ah prefer mah alcoholic drinks in the evenings, but the Empress likes hers in a cuppa before the onset of a stressful day. Helps her focus, err some nonsense."

Sapphire just stared at the pony as he grabbed a mug that said "World’s Best Empress!" on the side of it and began to mix the drink.

"Ah keep forgettin' how new ya are, but you’ll learn. They all did," he said as he placed the steaming mug on a tray for one of the serving ponies to take. "After all, it may be a well kept secret outside the Palace, but inside? Not so much.”

Sapphire blinked at the chef as he went back to his cutting board. “What’s not a well kept secret in the Palace?”

Chef Cake turned and smiled at the lovely young lady. “Why, that Empress Rarity hates her own birthday, of course."

Author's Note:

EDIT: seneschal - The steward or majordomo (administrative officer) of a noble house.

I'm really happy to finally have something up on this site. I've enjoyed a ton of stories on here already, and I've been inspired by several people to actual write out my ideas. Great thanks to Autumnschild for allowing me the opportunity to work official canon and be a joint-contributor of the universe he has made.

For those that want to read more about Rarity merging with the Crystal Heart, here is the link to Chapter 7 of Princess Twilight Sparkle's 505th Birthday, which is the actually account. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/119255/9/princess-twilight-sparkles-505th-birthday/chapter-7

I know that Rarity's last name isn't "Belle". I do have a in-story explanation for that which will occur later in the story.