• Published 7th Mar 2012
  • 1,805 Views, 64 Comments

Pirates of Equestria - Lastingimage24



A battle between holy evil and blind truths takes place in the once utopian society that is Equestria. Six elements, two captains, and four Immortals struggle to clear the now blurred line between right and wrong.

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Damaged Reflections

AKA THAT CHAPTER THAT NEVER CAME OUT... ‘til now.

"What do we find in coincidence? Do we find comfort, and ease in the ironic happenings of happenstance? Or do we hide in the shadows, trying to get away from the unpredictable predictability?"

Chapter 6

"Applebloom..." Scootaloo's old friend hung in the doorway with bags in her mouth and an enthusiastic smile strung across her face. "You... you're here!"

Applebloom nodded with an ecstatic, "Mhmm!"

"Why are you here? I thought you were still at the farm," Scootaloo inquired as her bright yellow friend dropped her bags on the floor and gave Scootaloo a huge embrace.

"Well... after Applejack 'n Big Mac left an' Granny Smith died... there just really wasn't anythang left fer me to be there fer."

Scootaloo gave an understanding frown.

"Ah figured Ah'll join the Legion like mah sistah did." Applebloom shifted her hoof hoof on the floor. "But Ah ain't good at killin' no folk, so they stuck me here. Ah didn't know you'd be here too!" Apple bloom tossed her bag to the nearest bed, which Scootaloo silently agreed to.

"So, I assume you met Pips," Scootaloo mentioned as she sat down on the lone chair in the room. Scootaloo noted how absurdly fast the two mares ran out of topics to chat about. They'd thought being away from each other for four years would have given them plenty to ask one another, but everything that had happened before the parting was old news, and what they had missed out was too plentiful to pin down a topic that didn't enlist long back stories.

Content with Scootaloo's subject change, she answered. "Ya mean Cap'n Pipsqueak? Yeah, he's a pretty cool feller, very polite. He's kinda cute t'."

"Easy there tiger," she warned, looking over her shoulder and eyeing the moon out her window. "Something tells me that he wouldn't be very interested."

"'s he gay?"

"Uh... no. Don't ask me how I would know that..." Scootaloo groaned as if she ate something foul.

"What, did he hit on ya?" Applebloom wondered.

"Uh no... I walked in on him while he was..." Scootaloo flew out of her seat and dashed to the door. "You know what? Never mind. Let's go see what Pips is doing." She chuckled nervously as she ushered her friend out of the room, who was quite bewildered.


"I brought you a letter!" the familiar voice ringed in a singsong tone. The voice was bubbly and light-hearted, as if the mare who owned it had absolutely no worries about the world, or was completely ignorant about them.

Pipsqueak looked up from his desk to see that wide, unconcerning grin, not perfectly white, but not a tinge yellow, facing him square in the muzzle. Realizing who it was, a soft smile stretched along his mouth. "Ah, hello Ditzy dear, how you doing?"

A short, innocent giggle escaped from the blonde's mouth as if she were gargling cotton candy. "Heeheehe, I'm doing good Master Pippysqueak! Express delivery, Sir!" She gave a small salute as her wings stretched from side to side in glee. The look of determination on the pegasus' face did little to help the captain's urge to jump over his desk and provide the mare with a large hug. She pulled the letter out of her saddlebags (miraculously the right one, which is a pretty amazing feat considering she was holding many packages and envelopes belonging to a plethora of different ponies for all over Equestria) and handed it to the Captain. "But you know, Master Pippysqueak, you can just call me Derpy, I don't find it insulting at all."

Pipsqueak gave the blonde a once over, admiring her figure and adorableness accordingly. She was wearing a blue denim coat with a white shirt underneath, giving her an apt appearance as a Legion mailmare. She also bore a brown Express Delivery Beret and sash. Pipsqueak set his hooves on his desk and leaned. "Now, why would I want to do that? Ditzy Doo is such a beautiful and endearing name, one I would not want to spoil with such an arbitrary nickname. And of course the beautiful name complies with a mare of the same traits." One of her eyes were trailing off at the bombardment of compliments, and as soon as he was finished, her entire face lit up red. She hid her blush with her hoof and giggled.

"Oh Master Pippysqueak, you do know how to flatter a girl!"

Pipsqueak had never corrected Ditzy on his name since it was said in respect instead of mockery. Then again she was a pretty girl, he'd let a pretty girl call him shitface as long as it was done with endearment. Ditzy grinned wildly once again through closed eyes. "Master, that letter is from P.C., so you should open it right away."

Pipsqueak reared back at this news as he glanced at the letter. Surely it wasn't of dire consequence as she could have used Vynn, his eagle, for emergencies via that dark portal teleportation spell she taught Luna. But she sent Ditzy, the fastest mode communication excluding the aforementioned method. He began to tear at the top of the envelope.

He skimmed the letter with an intense stare. After finishing, he looked at the blonde mare in front of him once again. "What's it say?" she asked, staring at the Captain with one eye, the one that usually drifted off randomly. It didn't occur to him to ask the blonde why she would want to know, considering Ditzy was one of the few ponies he trusted outside of his, men he didn't care.

"Apparently the rouge element we were searching for- the pirates- was Captain Patch, an infamous pirate who also pillaged a small messenger ship two days ago which apperantly had some very precious cargo as well..." Pipsqueak read the letter again, making sure not to miss anything. "They were last seen back in Canterlot, which means we must have missed them on the way here. We'll have to turn back."

"Aw, that sucks." Ditzy's eyes shifted nervously from side to side before she stepped out. She knew she wasn't doing anything bad, but the whole sneakiness of the entire thing made her uncomfortable. "Well goodbye, Master Pippysqueak!"

"See you later Ditzy Doo."


The brown stallion with matching mane trotted down the hall, deep in thought. He was oblivious to the noise around him- and the ponies in front of him. The last few events that had transpired raised his suspicions, which was quite suspicious for the suspicion he was having. He then realized how delicious of a word suspicious was. Suspicious. Suuuuspiciouuuus.

"Doctor, are you okay?"

Hey, that voice sounded like- "Ditzy! Nice to see you!" The Doctor grabbed a hold of the Pegasus and embraced her in a soft hug. She returned it.

"I brought you a muffin!" Ditzy yelled in glee, holding out the brown baked good in front of him. He smiled widely.

"Absolutely brilliant! English muffins have nothing on your baking skills, Love,"

"Heh, whatever that means."

The Doctor cheered as he grasped the muffin out off her hoof, only to have it plop on the floor. They both kinda... stared at it for a couple of seconds. "Oops," he apologized as he picked it off the floor with his mouth, and shoved it inside the legion coat's pocket. "Keep forgetting hooves are flat, heh."

"Doctor, you guys are going to bump into those pirates pretty soon."

"What? How? I told you Ditzy, we can't get directly involved! Lord knows what happens when we do that..."

Ditzy cocked her head at 'Lord', but he shrugged it off. Instead, Ditzy folded her forelegs together. "I know, I know. But it was a direct order from P.C., I can't just ignore that."

"Well, I suppose it couldn't be helped," The Doctor concluded as he rubbed the back of his mane. He was interrupted in the middle of his gesture by Ditzy brushing up against the Doctor.

"Umm..." Ditzy garbled as she traced her hoof in small circles on the Doctor's chest. "Do we have enough time to...?"

The Doctor sighed in genuine disappointment. He brushed his for leg down her back. "Unfortunately not. They'd get destroyed if they're ambushed... you know what to do."

"Aww," she said in disappointment. "Not even a little?"

"Sorry, no... but..." The Doctor said as he touched his lips to hers. Ditzy responded the usual way, spreading and stiffing her wings, flapping them slowly, but excitedly. They separated and Ditzy nearly fell backwards, still caught in the romantic reverie. She smiled.

"I'll be back Doctor Whooves," she said, diligently. The Doctor, no longer affected by her odd name for him, nodded with a calm smile on his face.

"I'll be waiting, Love." The Doctor turned and trotted over to the Captain’s room.

Ditzy stopped herself for a moment and turned back to the Doctor. "Oh, and... you were right. It's Captain Patch. And the pink one is already with him."

The Doctor ceased his movement entirely, and stood still. His head sunk. "Oh? Well, that changes things..."

"Doctor... you can stop it from happening right?"

"No... I can merely guide. I can only hope Pipsqueak will do the right thing." The doctor craned his neck to look at his Ditzy, and lightened his voice. "This change of situation does help, though... but, you see, we are the only ones that could have influenced it, and we haven't really done much. Very odd.

"No matter. Ditzy, do your thing. I need to speak to the captain."


"Captain, I want to-" The Doctor saw the orange and yellow mares in the room standing at either side of the captain and stopped in his tracks. "Oh, I can come back later."

"Nonsense, Doctor," Pipsqueak ushered the stallion into the room. "Always got time to talk."

"Thank you, captain." The Doctor took a couple of steps into the room.

"Ugh, the air in this room just got twenty-five percent more British," Scootaloo joked. "Now it's over half."

"Shut up, Scootaloo," Pipsqueak ordered while the Doctor chuckled. "Now," Pipsqueak got to the point. "What was it you wanted to talk about it?"

"Sir, I'm concerned about these Pirates. Specifically Captain Peg-Patch."

Pipsqueak leaned forward. "How do you know about Cap-" Pipsqueak stopped himself as he eyed the man with a bow tie in front of him. He relaxed his shoulders and a smile crept on his face. "Heh, of course you know about him. I honestly shouldn't be surprised, you know everything.”

“Not everything, Captain, just a lot,” The Doctor said, chuckling. “Listen... do you think we could bring them in peacefully? Maybe, apprehend them?”

“A cat in hell’s chance.” Pipsqueak put on the best sympathetic face he could muster. “Sorry, we can’t just expect them to bend over, hand us paddles, and serve us margaritas with little umbrellas in them.”

“Yes... I understand.” The Doctor really didn’t know what he was on about. Getting them jailed was unlikely to help them out either. The Doctor couldn’t sabotage either, he had gotten too attached to this crew. Not that it would help, Pipsqueak was important too. He simply had to sit and wait.

The Doctor turned and walked, defeated in a surprisingly short time.

“What was that all ‘bout?” Applebloom asked to no one in particular. Scootaloo shrugged while Pipsqueak itched his chin.

“I dunno... but The Doctor has never been this on edge.” Pipsqueak stared intently at the wooden desk he was leaning on. “Strange.”

“Speakin’ of strange... who in tarnation is that guy?”

“That’s The Doctor,” Pipsqueak began, shifting his weight from the desk to the back of his chair. “Don’t bother asking his real name, he insists that that’s it.”

Scootaloo burst out in an abrupt laughter. “Tell her how he joined.”

Applebloom raised an eyebrow as Pipsqueak turned away sheepishly. “The Doctor just boarded the ship one day and insisted that he was already part of the crew, walking around like he owned the place. When I stopped being utterly confused, I demanded he get off my ship. He... followed me on an assignment”

Applebloom put a hoof to her mouth to suppress a giggle. “He then proved himself a useful man. He is an expert in damn near everything. He’s always got an answer for my questions, though... it takes a while to get a straight one.”

The captain took one last look at the door before he commented, “Wonder what’s on his mind...” Pipsqueak glanced at the papers on his desk and shifted through the mail. He froze up when he saw a letter from Luna. Immediately seeking to open it, he grinned. “A letter from Luna? I have more reliable means of communication, I wonder why she’s sending via Ditzy.” Pulling the parchment from the envelope, he skimmed it.

Yes, I know it’s rather odd contacting you this way, but this is official business and must be recorded as such. Anyways, in our most recent recruitment, a rather strange pony enlisted. You’ll find his personnel file enclosed. As you will probably tell, it’s remarkably unusual, in terms of his living quality and history. At first, I didn’t trust the pony, but as it turns out... he is incredibly powerful and has an ability unlike any I have ever seen. I have decided to let him join, but I ask you interview him personally, I trust you far more than some stranger. Not that you should care, but he is not from here, rather he hails from Neighpon which is unique for a unicorn. That is mostly donkey land. Speak with him when you get back to Canterlot. That is all.

A Neighponese pony? What makes him so special Luna would let him bypass? Hmm...

Pipsqueak grabbed the enclosed file and began to read that as well.

Name: Drake Blaze/ Occupation: N/A/ Talent: N/A/ Education: Doctorate Degree in Theoretical Physics, Doctorate Degree in Chemistry, M.D./ Age: 21/

WOAH, WHAT?! Three doctorates and he’s only twenty one? How is that even possible? Pipsqueak continued to read, genuinely intrigued.

Race: Assian Unicorn/ Credit Balance: 334,926 bits/

...Fffffffffffff. What’s this guy want in the Legion? He’s absolutely loaded!

Criminal History: 17 counts of aggravated assault and battery. 11 counts of public vandilism.

...Wut? How is this guy not in jail?

Pipsqueak exhaled an exasperated sigh as he set the lengthy record down. He thought of trotting over to the window and just tossing the damned thing in the raging waters of 'NO', but then decided to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, considering Luna had recommended him herself. He glanced out the window to the moon one last time before letting out another sigh. A storm is approaching. I know it.


"Let's see... four letters down, a misinterpretation of a large water blocking bridge..." Patch, deep in thought, didn't expect the eardrum shattering crash and jumped out of his chair. He spun quickly towards the window in his room, and readied his sword. Patch eyed the fallen paper and pencil before letting out a sigh, then kept his attention at the window. Seeing no one, he inched towards it, being careful to be ready to swing at a moment’s notice. He took another step forward, his knees shaking from the adrenaline. After a couple of seconds, he eased his demeanor, but kept his guard up. He started walking at a normal pace to the window, opened it, and leaned outside. All he could see was the night’s endless horizon, and a pony-

“DAMN!” CRASH! Patch tumbled across the room a few times before smacking into the door upside-down. The mare who was air-delivered to him did a similar thing, only landing a few feet away with her wings spread out. She spoke with her usual thick accent that Patch could not distinguish.

“I really have to aim next time, yes...” the mare in the bandanna and red overcoat moaned while struggling to stand. When she looked up, her eyes were met with a blue hoof, one she recognized all to easily.

“You think?” he retorted, while a unconscious smile stretched across his face. It was soft and sympathetic, but at the same time had a scolding tinge to it. The grey mare gladly accepted the Captain’s help, and got to her hooves somewhat clumsily.

“Ditzy,” the Captain began. “What’re you doing here? You usually meet me when we dock.”

“Captain, captain, big problem, yes!” The clumsy mare yelled, fumbling to close the distance between each other. “The legion, legion, they’re coming, for you, yes!”

“The legion? For this ship specifically?” The captain asked. They were in the middle of the ocean. Why would the Legion be hunting a small band of pirates? Sure they had made quite a stir in Canterlot, but nothing remarkable happened.

“You heard what I said, no?” The mare’s gruff voice and strange accent always threw off Patch, but it couldn’t be any worse than his own.

Ditzy suddenly grabbed Patch’s shoulders and started to violently shake him. “You must do something, sir, something must be done!”

“WwWwHhHhHyYyYyY?” Patch tried to ask whilst being shaken. Ditzy halted immediately and turned away to point at the window. When she turned back, Patch was still trying to stand after being shook like a neglected foal.

“This attack comes from Captain Pipsqueak, the legion’s most effecient, and also youngest captain, yes it does!” Ditzy climbed into the window and prepared to take leave. “You best be careful, yup yup! He won’t go down so easily, no he wont.”

“Pipsqueak?” The Captain asked, rubbing his head in discomfort. “Sounds like a pushover.”

Ditzy propelled herself towards the captain with her wings and looked straight into his eyes with her hooves on his shoulders. “OH nononononononononono. He is anything but, yes he is.”

“Ditzy,” the captain growled, getting impatient. “Look, it won’t be a problem. We’ve faced the Legion before, and it’s just one ship. How hard can it-”

“Lavender!” Ditzy screamed before flying out the window at lightning speed, leaving Patch standing, baffled.

“...L-...Lavender? What the hell does that mean?”

“Captain!” Fluttershy crashed through the door. Patch doubled back and screamed from the sudden entrance. After a couple seconds of awkward silence, Patch cleared his throat.

“Uhh... Yeah,” he said, smiling sheepishly.

“Aaaaanyways... there is a large ship off the starboard bow coming in hot. Should we bother?”

“Legion?” Patch asked. Maybe Ditzy wasn’t full of absolute crap.

“No, it’s fuckin' Mary Poppins asking for directions.” Fluttershy remarked, smiling.

“Could do without the sarcasm Fu’Shy.” The captain trotted towards the door and motioned Fluttershy to follow.


The sun was creeping up on the horizon, slowly making the night fade away as the moon ran for west. The ship Patch was informed of crept up along with the sun, as if they were sent from it to combat the pirates preparing for the fight. Patch lent over the edge of the railing and inspected his own ship. Repairs from their last battle had already taken place, as the hull was perfectly in tact. Patch faced the ship once more as he made the order. “Turn the ship. Get those cannons facing those Legion bastards.”

“Aye, Captain.” one of the ponies behind him confirmed. Patch craned his neck to face his crew. A crowd of the most loyal ponies he had ever met and...

“Miss Pie?”

“Wassup?” Pinkie asked in glee.

Patch looked at her in disbelief and shook his head in slight annoyance. “Miss Pie, please get back into the ship. You’re no fighter.” Patch contemplated himself for a few seconds before facing Pinkie once again. “...Are you?”

“Nah, I was just checking out what was going on.”

Patch sighed once again and turned towards the cannon on the edge of the ship. Knowing it was already loaded he slammed hoof against it, igniting the primer and launching the ball towards the ship in the distance.


SPLASH!

“So much for The Doctor’s suggestion,” Pipsqueak retorted, giving a scolding glance towards the bowtie wearing stallion. He smiled nervously.

“Alright you wankers, you want a fight you got it!”


“Fuck, they’re fast!” Patch yelled as battles in the sky unfolded. The pegasi fought above in order to own the battlefield of the clouds. The ‘they’ that patch was referring to was Pipsqueak’s ship. It practically danced around Patch’s budget ship like a butterfly. Although the pirates’ ship was holding up an admirable fight, if this kept up their ship would be torn apart like paper-mâché. “Alright guys this isn’t working, let’s board before they do the same to us!” Patch kept an eye on the sky, mainly Fluttershy, who was barking orders and fending off a couple of pegasi.

At once, most of the pirates yelled and began to jump for Pipsqueak’s ship, which was conveniently on the receiving end of a wave. The battle had started, and the sounds of cannons dimmed down somewhat, except for the few pirates who stayed behind exclusively to fire them and the ones on Pipsqueak’s ship brave enough to let the battle out of their sights to fire off a shot or two. The rows of cannons on the decks below kept firing as well, but at a slower rate as a result of the lack of crew.

Patch was among the first to land on the ship. He took in his surroundings before drawing his sword and rushing in. He immediately ran in to two ponies, one of which did not sense his approach. He took care of the one with a careful slash, then gravitated towards the second. He was easy to dispatch of as well, first making contact with his sword then using the opening to buck him in the chest. Patch took a break before continuing, glancing at the sides of the battle, not noticing the sprinting unicorn with a saber cloaked in magic heading right for him. He turned, but too late for the pony had already started to strike when...

The sound of a gunfire was heard! Patch turned to thank his savior, which was Vex, still holding the flintlock to the space the pony had previously occupied. In her hand was the wooden pistol with gold and silver trimmings, bearing the imprinted word “Vexineva” on it, her full name. In her other talon was another pistol of the same design, pointed towards the deck. All of this paled in comparison, however, to the two rows of three holsters on each side of the griffin’s torso, four of them holding ordinary flintlocks, two of them empty for her beloved custom ones.

“Good job,” Vex spat sarcastically. Patch simply gave a nod of gratitude before going back to looking around the ship, eager to... meet the captain. He wasn't given much time however, as a small orange pegasus barreled forward and began her assault immediately. Patch, caught off guard, attempted to block the haphazard swords swings which flashed in front of him in an epileptic manner. Patch ducked under one particular swing which bought him time to skip back to gain some distance. This gave him an opportunity to analyse his attacker in order to actually stand a chance. One thing immediately became apparent: the reason the swings was so seizure-educing was because the orange pegasus with the intrusive purple mane had her sword connected on her hoof. There was a couple of things wrong with this picture; one, using your hoof with your sword is absolutely retarded. It screws with your balance and stance, and it is no chance against the force of a pony’s jaw. Two, she was a pegasus, and could have just used her wing to carry the sword which, while still less powerful than a jaw, would give her a more stable stance. Finally, Patch noticed that the pegasus' wings were... absolutely tiny. He realized that she wasn't on the ground just because she wanted to fight Patch, but because she couldn't fly. And she couldn't hold the sword with her wings because they were way too small.

"What's up with your wings, sis?" Patch asked with feign innocence before bearing a slight mischievous smirk. "Daddy drop you too many times?"

Scootaloo's face remained straight and unperturbed, however it was clear that she was offended by the remark. She smiled in spite of herself. "Think your a smart ass, huh? Choke on it."

"Really, a gay slur?" Patch asked in sarcasm. Scootaloo didn’t retort, instead, she leaped towards Patch at a surprising pace, knocking him off balance when he positioned himself to block it. He underestimated the power of the hoof swing and got knocked to his knees, sending a searing pain up his legs. She backed of as quickly as she came, cautious and unaware of Patch’s skills. Patch slowly got off the floor, trying to appear weaker than he actually was. Even so, he knew that this woman wasn’t your ordinary soldier.


"Fend 'em off, on it now lads!" Pipsqueak yelled, surveying the battlefield before bracing himself to jump down the railing to the lower deck. He was caught in the air mid jump, a yellow Pegasus air tackling him into the starboard railing. He grunted as his back hit ground, and immediately attempted to hold back his attacker. He caught glimpses of her black streaked pink mane while slamming his hooves into her chest. It soon became too much, the Pegasus kicked off of the captain and repositioned herself in front of him. Her breathing was labored, the wind knocked out of her from the panicked flailing. Pipsqueak stood clumsily and attempted to assess the pony before she started to speak.

“You look important. Major? Captain? General?” she asked, her gaze never faulting. Pipsqueak was surprised at the tenderness of her voice, surprised at the lack of slurs and curses. Pipsqueak decided to pay her back with politeness of his own.

“Well... we’re a sub branch of the Legion. There are no ranks on this ship, except for me the Captain and my first mate, Scoots.” Fluttershy reacted more violently than Pipsqueak expected. She sort of flinched and lifted her hoof in what seemed like disgust.

“Oh...” The shock of the Captain’s hospitality towards the yellow pirate subsiding, she altered her stance and readied her sword. “You know, I can’t let you pass.”

“Of course not, that would just be civil.”

This is what Fluttershy was waiting for; A smartass remark. “Watch your tone, fucker. You ain’t talking to someone you can just be a dick to and get off Scott-free. I’m going to fight back, not just be a submissive piece of crap.”

Pipsqueak’s face bore that of shock, his face soft and sympathetic. This sweet girl just completely flipped impressions, all because he decided to say a little joke. Still, she’s a pirate, it was gonna be like this either way.

“I expected no less.” Pipsqueak drew his sword, the glint of steel flashing in front of Fluttershy’s eyes.

Pipsqueak struck first, catching Fluttershy’s blade and producing sparks of aggravation. Fluttershy followed up with two quick swipes, both of which blocked by her opponent. Pipsqueak then hopped forward and positioned himself behind her, missing a third swipe from the pegasus, and attempted to buck her back. She simply sat her flank down, causing Pipsqueak to hit nothing but air. Balanced with her forelegs, Fluttershy pushed forward and slid under the Captain’s chest. Pipsqueak got a full view of her flank before it jerked up and hit him in the face. Fluttershy continued upward until she was standing on her forehooves and Pipsqueak was falling backwards to the ground belly-up. She jumped forward and brought her sword down to the Captain’s chest. Fueled by adrenaline, the Captain rolled away with merely a scratch. He took a second to exhale and began to stand once again.

Pipsqueak wasted no time; he immediately dashed forward, his head craned and his sword ready. But Fluttershy seemed to be distracted with another pegasus beside her...


Patch swung left, then right, to no avail. They both hit the woman’s blade, and it felt as if she fumbled her sword, but in reality it was just her awkwardness with her hoof-held saber. She brought down her sword with great force, trying to luck through Patch’s skill, but he blocked it with ease despite her unpredictability. They were at a stand-off, both trying to overtake the other, sparks flying. Scootaloo enjoyed the contest, but got aggravated when Patch was looking to the left.

Angry, Scootaloo challenged Patch. “What the hell are you looking at? Getting nervous? Answer me you bastard!”

Patch grumbled. He could do no more. He had underestimated the strength of the small orange pegasus, there was a sword in his mouth, and that thing he was looking at took all his attention. Patch’s sudden submission was annoying Scootaloo, which only made her apply more force into her hoof. The contact mark on the blades were getting deeper and deeper. Patch had lost all interest in the battle, he had his full intention on the pony to the right of the duel. In one swoop, Patch shoved Scootaloo to the right like a dirty rag, dragging both blades against each other producing enough sparks to light an ill-shaved pony’s beard on fire. He tackled the pony that had caught his attention and started wailing on him. Scootaloo stood and began to hall ass towards the evasive Captain before getting tackled herself by a yellow pegasus.

“Leave him alone!” She yelled before attempting to drive her sword into Scootaloo’s heart. Her awkwardly held sword gave her the advantage of freedom of movement, however, and countered with a swipe of the saber, merely scratching the yellow pegasus. She yelped and attempted to jump off Scootaloo, but not before the orange pegasus could slam both her hooves into Fluttershy’s ribcage. This caused the yellow mare to cough and sputter, before collapsing to the right of opponent. This gave Scootaloo ample time to find the captain in order to continue the assault. She found him, but she also saw Pipsqueak along with him, already engaged in combat. Deciding he would be able to handle it himself, Scootaloo tried to turn turn to her conquered opponent, but instead was greeted with the yellow mare already mid-swing. Scootaloo reacted fast enough to block the blow, but not to evade the following buck to the muzzle.

Scootaloo tasted the distinct flavor of blood before her vision started to darken. Suddenly, the world flopped to it’s side, and the sounds began to fade.

Content with the dropping of her enemy, Fluttershy smiled and ran up to help the Captain.


“Did you see that? Did you fucking see that?” Patch panted, exhausted from the constant barrage of attacks. Pipsqueak breathed just as heavily, before answering him,

“What?” He exhaled.

“I tackled you to save one of my crew. She tackled the mare attacking me. We rotated like fucking dates at a prom” Patch chortled. Pipsqueak just stared blankly at what he presumed as the Pirate captain.

After a couple seconds, Pipsqueak chuckled too. Smugly, he flashed the opposing captain a sly smile. “I’m guessing you’re the Captain? Captain Peg-Patch the Pirate, to be specific.”

“Man, I’ve been a popular person recently. And for all the wrong reasons.”

“You do know what I’m here for, correct?” Pipsqueak asked ominously.

“To kill me?” Patch asked, a blank smirk on his face as he looked away.

“Preferably not,” Pipsqueak admitted. patch raised a brow. “I’m here to arrest you.”

The pirate captain broke into an incredibly loud, hearty laugh, tears appearing around his eyes and cramps forming in his stomach. Pipsqueak watched with an unamused expression. “Arrest me? Arrest? That’s not how war works, mate. More importantly, that’s not how the Legion works. Can’t do nowt to fix that.” Patch drew his sword once again. “You are here to kill me.”

Pipsqueak remained solemn as he drew his sword. “Have it your way.”