• Member Since 11th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday


Okay, I admit it, I'm probably not your mom. But odds are I'm old enough to be. Now with Patreon account (under alarajrogers) and short stories on Amazon (under Alara Rogers).


Discord wants Twilight to hit him. Twilight thinks there has to be a catch. Set in the same continuity as my TNG crossover fics, between "The Princess and the Dragon" (and also "Discord's First, Last and Only Friendship Report") and "The King Who Would Be Man", but Discord being Q isn't relevant to this specific story.

A page for this series now exists: Next of Kin to Chaos

A zipped copy of a WMA Audio file of me reading this story is now up on my web site, but be warned, the zip file is 28 megs. (The WMA is a good bit bigger than that.) I have an MP3 version as well, but it was both larger and less compressible, so I went with the WMA version instead.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 65 )

I couldn't help but picture The Joker from The Dark Knight saying 'Hit Me' when I saw the title.

Your Discord is perfect. This read like it should actually be an episode, it was lighthearted and had a relevant aesop, and a hell of an action scene. Fuckin five stars.

3473876 I agree. I can picture it like this;

Twilight: *riding on badass motorcycle*
Discord: Come on, hit me.
T: *keeps riding*
D: Hit me, come on. Hit me!
T: *still riding*
T:*hits him with motorcycle*

3474265 A rubber version of him anyways.


I think if it was an episode, some of the innuendo would have to be cut... which would be a shame, because some of those lines are among my favorites. :-)

But yeah, I was really trying to see it in my head as if it was being animated (and reading Discord to my kids in my best imitation of John de Lancie... who I've been running a simulation of in my head for 20 years, so hopefully it's a reasonably good facsimile. :-))



It could be made more subtle... Perhaps a comment about a saddle and riding crop, because I guess those count as fetish wear for ponies?

Perfect story. 11 out of 10.:twilightsmile:

And the Twilight hit Discord with Falcon Punch. :trollestia:


Here you go skip the video to 1:12 just imagine it's Twilight on the motorcycle and Discord on the Road:

This. Was gold. :yay:

3473876>>3474265 Well, I was thinking more of that one scene in Q's only DS9 appearance where Sisko hits him.


You hit me! Celestia never hit me!

Actually, that was a large part of the inspiration for this. Though it hasn't happened in continuity yet (in this series, Discord *is* Q, but this is prior to Deja Q, so he hasn't faced off against Sisko yet.)

Always love to see a well-written Discord.:rainbowlaugh:

Goddamn, dude, all of your stories appeal to me, and I'm sure you can guess why. I'm going to have to marathon your stuff.

Discord vs Twilight stories are among the best ones out there.
As always, congratulations on the great writing. :moustache:

This made my day :twilightsmile:

Loved the story, especially Discord explaining how difficult it would be to actually hit him with the Elements of Harmony a 3rd time around, pretty much exactly what I've always thought.


That was the entire reason this story exists. I got so sick of post-reformation fanfics where Discord is behaving himself because he's afraid of being turned into stone rather than because he's afraid of losing his friend... when it's always been obvious that Discord only ever lost in the first place due to grotesque levels of overconfidence. I mean, he's not going to stand there and let him come for them... pretty much any plot that involves Discord being turned back into stone is going to have to involve tricking him somehow or blackmailing him into accepting it or something, because he's not gonna stand still the next time.

Admittedly, the grotesque levels of overconfidence thing isn't necessarily gonna go away, but I don't think Discord is going to cringe in terror at the thought of his own stupidity doing him in... cringe in humiliation to remember it, maybe, but he thinks he'll have it all under control if it ever comes to it next time.

3481561 Exactly, I mean even assuming Celestia's spell means Discord can't steal the elements, and that he doesn't want to kill or do anything really permanent to anyone, there are like 100 different ways he could prevent the Elements being fired in the first place. I do love stories where he gets tricked back into stone, though, if the writer is clever enough to make it seem credible.

I liked this story a lot. I admit the part about him being afraid of reformation spells confused me. It seemed to be referencing something else. Apart from that though, fantastic stuff.


It is. I'm writing a series of fics in a continuity, out of order, because what fun is there in making sense? :-) The story being referenced will be called "The Tale of the Terrible Doctor Twilight"

This was surprisingly touching. A bit hard to follow at times, but other wise really well done. Bravo.

>>>Twilight slowly smiled. "The word you're looking for, Discord, is 'frenemy.' "

"'Frenemy'? What a lovely sounding word! Does that mean what I think it does?">>>

"It means... me," intoned a terrible voice from behind as all the light was sucked out of the world.. or maybe there was so much light it looked dark because the photons were all getting in each other's way or something quantum like that.

Discord turned in terror to behold the one being in the multiverse all feared, the supreme troll, the ultimate OP OC: Lord Alondro, the Deus Ex Insert! "And now... time to play..."

Discord needed a diaper change. :trollestia:


No no no. This is my fic. Discord is not going to be scared of someone *else's* OP OC self insert because he knows that I will write him as trashing them, Bugs Bunny style.

In *my* fics, Discord is afraid of *me*. Or else he isn't paying attention. :-)

3495443 Bugs Bunny style, eh?

Of course you realize, this means WAR!

We old people know all about that waskly wabbit! :trollestia:

Oh, this was great fun. Fast-paced and surprisingly varied in tone, from humor to seriousness. Well done, great Discord and great Twilight and really great interaction.

This story is criminally underrated. Such a perfect portrayal of Discord deserves more recognition.:twilightangry2:

Oh my God this story.

As a student of philosophy, I loved the conversation part. <3
As a Discord fangirl, I loved his characterization.
As a MLP fan, I loved it all, and as an aspiring writer, I'm watching you from now on. :raritywink:

Discord really is a thin-skinned idiot, isn't he?^^

And I think he doesn't understand yet that in Equestria, Good Wins. Always. It's part of its narrative structure.


To be fair, in this particular series of fics I'm taking him at a point where he's more emotionally vulnerable than he's been in billions of years, and where he's actually suffered more real pain than he has in a very long time. I won't dispute that he's an idiot, but given his circumstances, the problem isn't that he's thin-skinned -- he isn't by any normal standards -- but that he hasn't yet figured out that right now, he's not capable of taking the same levels that he's used to dishing out. When he figures out and accepts that he's weaker than he thinks he ought to be, he might actually start being slightly less of an ass.

And yes, narrative structure demands a beat-down on villainy. If Discord did go bad again, there are actually several alternative avenues of smacking him down that don't involve ostentatiously standing in a circle around him and firing up the Elements. *That* trick will never work again... but as he pointed out, there are potentially other tricks that might work on him.

this was thought provoking, nicely done

"'Frenemy'? What a lovely sounding word! Does that mean what I think it does?"

Wait didn't Discord used that word in Return Of Harmony? I think what he said was:

"Ugh! Fine! Go ahead, try to use you little elements. Frenemies! Just make it quick."


Possibly. Discord is not a reliable anything, so if he claims not to know something that actually has no bearing on whether or not he knows it. Also in this universe he's Q, so it's actually pretty certain that he knows the meaning of the word "frenemy" and is just pretending he doesn't because it's funnier that way.

this is this person's first story with 100 likes. I caused it biotch. :trollestia:


Thank you! I was wondering how long it was gonna take to get there. :-)

THIS. This story was perfection! You couldn't have portrayed Discord better if you tried. It was like watching an actual episode, one of the ones we get that are incredible and remembered for months afterwards! It SHOULD be an episode! Why did I not read it sooner? Really great job, well done! :pinkiehappy:

3572992 The narrative could change perspective, so Discord is the protagonist, but still evil. It would be a better alternative than a deus ex machina.

"To be fair, I've been tormenting you because Celestia told me to train you."

Twilight choked on her ice cream. "What?"

Oh, I laughed heartily at that!!! XD! :rainbowlaugh: Twilight's reaction is absolutely priceless.

Twilight is so deliciously naive sometimes. She does not realize that Discord's got a First Class Degree in Trolling and her reaction (however justified) is what makes his world turn round and round. :trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

P.S. We need a Discrord emoticon on FimFiction. :3

This review is stupid because I can't accurately verbalize /why/ I liked this fic. I can say stock shit like characterization and good writing but it just doesn't cut it sometimes. I have a good vocabulary, but I have a hard time finding out how to use it.

You've earned a favorite because this portayal of Discord and Twilight is the ideal story to me. The ideal relationship. I love it.

See, this how Discord should be. Not the one holding the idiot ball like in the season ender.

What do you think Discord's weapon of choice would be?

4628419 So... You didn't like the season finale? Why?

4169674 sometimes it's nice to have two characters having a good old ethical discussion. It can expand on issues raised in the show, be character-building and world-building, and gives you a warm feeling, like you've witnessed something special

5215626 Now if he where trying to TRICK Terek into trusting him only for Discord to betray him and save the day ("I new I couldn't beat him normally so I had to gain his trust to beat him when his back was turned" style) Then it would have been better, wouldn't have been that hard for them to do anyway, just have Terek drain him before Discord could turn on him.

Oh, and that picture, not the best photo-shop/Windows Paint job I've seen... Better than what I can do though.

5670504 I'm pretty sure that's the default avatar.

5827665 I'm pretty sure they had an avatar when I commented... :trixieshiftleft:

I think they're talking about my magnificent and flawless cover art, not Starlight Nova's avatar.

Personally I think the pixelation, ragged edges and obvious different colored border around Discord give the pic a touch of class, don't you? :-)

(This was my first attempt at photoshopping images together to make a cover art. it shows.)

Author Interviewer

Yeah, this Discord is great. :) You should upload your reading to http://mlpaudiobooks.net/ so everyone can hear it! :D

Yay! Frenemies :rainbowkiss:

Well, now I'm in. Three one-shots have spun a tale the likes of which I can get behind! :pinkiehappy:

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