55 - Scramble
Squeak, squeak.
My hand rubbed against the mirror, clearing fog. I stood wrapped in a bathrobe in Pinkie's bathroom. I spread the first aid supplies out on the counter and got to work.
Sunset had managed to wash, dry, and dress without help, reappearing downstairs just as Pinkie and I finished scavenging for supplies. She'd kindly left the wand up here, realizing I might need it. Magical healing was my best bet, so I'd taken a few minutes to mediate, actually sitting down in the tub under the shower. I'd have loved a bath, but with the amount of grime, ichor, and blood I washed off, I was glad I hadn’t. Soaking in that was not something I'd have enjoyed.
A few of my cuts had started bleeding again, so I'd taken the opportunity to clean my wounds as best I could. I pulled together the magic I'd scraped up and went to work.
First step, the wounds that should really have stitches, but weren't going to get them. I began trying to ensure knitting and clotting started as cleanly as possible. I'd need to check these daily, but if I was careful they should hold.
Next, I systematically flushed any traces of filth or infection I could find, while also trying to staunch bleeding. It took a while, but at the end I was starting to look, and feel, dramatically better. I'd be black-and-blue for days, and unless I managed to do something crazy, I wouldn't be fit to really fight for a good while longer. But I would be able to keep civilized company, and I wouldn't be bed-ridden.
The worst wounds were deep slices on the outside of my arm and on my thigh, a bruised hip-bone and a nearly cracked rib. I didn't think I had a concussion, but I'd noticed one of my ears was ringing.
Finished with the worst of the work, I carefully bandaged everything else. The wound on my chest, where the gem had been, was ugly but shallow. I'd never really considered how thick the thing was; I'd somehow imagined it actually embedded into my breastbone, but that wasn't the case. Its removal had taken a fraction of an inch of flesh, leaving an oozing raw patch, nearly the size of my palm. I slapped some antibiotic and gauze on it. With a bit of reiki, it might not even scar.
Done with my work, I carefully cleaned every speck of blood from the bathroom before re-packing my first-aid kit. I frowned, realizing about half the supplies belonged to Pinkie. Money. I needed to do something about money, first. Well, second, really. I glanced at my bathrobe. Clothes came first.
"Pinkie?" I stepped into the main area of the café. Sunset waved me towards the back.
"She's in the kitchen." She shrugged. "Making something."
"It's a new-friends cake!" Pinkie sprang through the door. She held out the treat. "It's still too warm to ice, but we can eat it if you like!"
"Mmmm." Sunset eyed the confection. The last real meal we'd had was yesterday, with a full-on battle afterwards.
"That would be lovely." I sat down in a nearby chair. "But, um, I was wondering what you did with my clothes?"
"They're in the dryer!" She pointed to the back. "The laundry room is behind the kitchen!" She grinned and set the cake before Sunset, who cut a careful slice with unsure fingers.
I found my clothes washed and dried, and quickly changed. Feeling much, much better, I slowly returned to the dining room.
"Slice?" Pinkie offered.
"Thanks." I gratefully accepted.
It was, of course, delicious, even without icing. Warm and moist, it nearly melted in my mouth.
"Well, you're just as good of a cook in this world." Sunset nearly choked at my calm statement, eyes bulging as she gasped past her piece of cake.
"Thanks!" Pinkie grinned.
"How - what -" Sunset coughed, trying to talk.
"Sorry." I gave her an apologetic glance. "I completely forgot to tell you. Pinkie's 'sense' told her we're from another world. She doesn't know the full story, but she knows enough. And she takes it seriously. I thought hiding the truth would be counterproductive, and it's not like she'd tell."
"Besides, who'd believe me?" Pinkie winked, nodding enthusiastically.
"I - I guess." Sunset swallowed, and began breathing normally. "Warn me next time!" She kicked me under the table. Hard.
"Sorry." I shrugged, wincing. "It wasn't intentional."
"Fine," she grumbled, taking another bite of cake. "I forgive you, but you'd better not make a habit of keeping secrets."
"Ooof." I sighed. "Well, looks like I need to start talking. Let's start with this." I held out the palm of my hand, showing her what I’d noticed in the shower.
"Hmm." Sunset took it in hers, and ran a finger over the viridian stain I'd found after taking my gloves off. "Crystallized magic, under your skin? Is this from that gem?"
"Oh, maybe." I frowned. Oddly, I hadn't even considered the emerald. I patted my pocket, searching for it, and froze when I felt nothing. "Ooops."
"What?" Sunset's ice-blue eyes snapped to my own.
"Um, well…" I thought back through the whole thing. "Maybe I'd better start at the beginning."
"So you just dropped it?" Sunset swallowed her bite of cake and gave me an angry glare.
"Maybe." I frowned, unsure. "I dropped the sign. Honestly, after Glisten left I wasn't paying much attention. The emerald must have gone with."
"Hmm." She set her cake down and leaned forward abruptly, seizing my shirt and pulling it open where the buttons were ripped off.
"Um - " I twitched.
"Hold still!" She gave me a glare. I complied. She carefully peeled back the dressing, and took a long look at the wound. "It's really gone."
"Yeah." I slowly leaned backwards and she released me. "I was pretty ecstatic."
"But you can still do magic." She frowned.
"Apparently. One more part of the puzzle." I held out the wand, and she considered it a moment.
"You can do magic?" Pinkie gasped. "Show me, show me!"
"I'm pretty drained right now." I frowned. "Um, Sunset maybe?"
"I'm not sure…" She looked at the wand, hesitantly.
"You've got to try sometime." I shrugged. "And if it doesn't work, it's not the end of the world. Better to know."
"Right." She hesitantly accepted, closed her eyes, and concentrated.
Nothing.
"This feels weird." She opened one eye and looked at me.
"Focus on your hand, not your head." I shrugged, trying to compare the differences I'd felt spell casting with Twilight. "You need to be more aware of the wand, and let your power take care of itself."
"Hmm." She closed her eyes again. After a few moments of silence, a tiny curl of blue wicked off the tip.
"Oooo!" Pinkie grinned, leaning closer. Another spark rose. "Aaaaa!"
"You're getting it." Sunset opened her eyes and sighed.
"It doesn't feel right." She frowned.
"Of course not." I grinned. "But you managed to make it work, despite. That's impressive." I stopped, thinking. "Was that… your talent?"
"I have no idea." She frowned. "The stupid thing's impossible to understand. Anyways, I don't have a cutie mark right now."
"Hmm." Pinkie's eyes widened at that.
"Do - do you know if it helped us get here?" I ignored the party person, and continued my train of thought. "I remember what you said, before the rift hit us."
"Again, I'm not at all sure." She handed the wand back. "Here. This is more useful to you for now."
"Alright." I tucked it into my belt and yawned. "Well, Pinkie, we're extremely thankful for your help." Sunset nodded. "Would you keep my sister company for a while, maybe let her take a nap? I need to go look for a gem." I forced myself upright and moved towards the door.
"Be careful!" Pinkie yelled cheerfully. "Come back when you're done!"
"Sure." I turned and smiled. "Thanks Pinkie."
"Aw, you're welcome!" She waved. "Have fun!"
"Heh, sure." I slipped out the door, and glanced at the street, the cars, and the buildings, suddenly realizing I was downtown, in a human city.
"I'll try." I smiled.
"Blech." I leaned my back against the pedestal of the statue and took a deep breath.
I hadn't expected to take long finding the gem. Even if it wasn't squealing all the time, I should be able to sense it. I didn't have the energy to do much, but sensing was simple. I frowned and glanced at the students passing by. There weren't many, maybe because it was the weekend, but it seemed extracurricular activities were still happening.
I really, really hoped no-one else had found it first.
"Hey! I found that first!"
Startled out of my reverie, I glanced across the lawn. A young teen girl stood nearby. She had light green skin and slightly darker hair sporting a bright stripe. She was facing down a brutish guy with gray skin and a spiked collar.
"Don't care." He held something up and I saw a spark of emerald. "I grabbed it first."
"Hey!" Green-hair was getting angry. I stood slowly, wincing at my aches and pains. Really, the worst part of fighting was recovery. I needed to practice more so I could avoid this sort of pain.
"Heheh." Gray held it out of her reach.
"Give it back!" She jumped; he dodged.
"Nope!"
"Grrr!" The girl fell into a basic stance and snapped off a punch. It connected solidly with the guy's wrist and he almost dropped the gem.
"Oh, you want to fight?" He stepped back and yelled. "Yo, dawgs! Someone wants trouble!"
"'Sup, boss?"
"Trouble?"
Two more drab-skinned and yellow-eyed teenagers stepped up. One was short, the other tall. They both wore matching spiked collars.
"I'm not afraid of your gang, Rover!" The girl yelled. Still, she stepped back.
"Oh, really. Well, maybe you should be." The biggest one cracked his knuckles.
"Hey now." I stepped up beside her, relaxed, hands in pockets. "Three on one doesn't seem fair."
"Oh yeah?" The leader, Rover, glared up at me. I could see him weighing his chances; he didn't want to back down, but I was an adult. It was three on two, but I looked tough, torn cloth and rivets.
"Yeah." I smiled. "The emerald is mine."
"Oh!" The girl glanced at me. I got a good look at her and barely stifled a gasp.
It was Lyra.
Smaller, younger, obviously less trained, but I'd recognize those sungleam eyes anywhere.
"It's yours?" She smiled. "Good! Hand it over, Rover!"
"I don't think so." Rover gave a sly smirk. "You can't prove anything. This is a very nice piece." He held up the gem. It wasn't large for an Equestrian gem; maybe fifteen carats, but if this place had a market anything like Earth that was enough to buy a car. Or three.
Not to mention its more esoteric properties. Beryl that spontaneously generated energy? Yeah. If I lost it here, I'd never get it back.
"I wasn't planning to ask." My hand blurred, and the gem was gone from his grasp. I mimed tucking it into my pocket as I dropped it into my sleeve.
"Hey!" This time Rover was getting angry. "You can't - "
"Then stop me." I shrugged, projecting an air of nonchalance. "But." I flipped my attitude, and grinned ferociously. "You'd better be ready."
"Hah!" Rover, unsure but brave, stepped forward. "Me and my boys, we'll - "
I didn't let him finish. I pulled up my already-strained reserves and harmonized my magic. Fighting though sudden dizziness, I threw a lightning-quick strike. I tapped his forehead, forcing a dab of magic through my finger. It was the same type of strike pony-Lyra used to knock me out, when we first fought. His eyes rolled back as the magic disrupted his internal systems for a second; like a blow to the jaw, but less dangerous. He folded like a concertina.
"More?" I spread my hands, grinning. His two accomplices shared a look, scooped him up and dashed off, shooting us nasty glances.
"Ooof." I walked to a nearby bench and collapsed, lowering my head to my hands. I really, really needed some sleep. But I still had to check on Bit, even just talk to human Fluttershy for a second, before I could really rest.
"What was that?" I looked up. Lyra had followed me over, and was staring curiously.
"The gem is mine," I said defensively.
"No, that's fine." She waved a hand. "But you just tapped his head, and he fell over!"
"You saw that?" I raised an eyebrow. She was less trained, but obviously still talented.
"Yeah! You were all like - 'Zap!' and he was all like, 'Thump!' and then you just walked away!" She threw a few jabs, trying to mimic the move.
"Your feet are out of line," I said, unconsciously assessing her stance.
"Huh?"
"Your feet." I knelt down and adjusted them. "If you hold them like this, it will help you balance." She stepped back, giving a half-surprised, half-shocked look. I nearly facepalmed. I'd fallen back into the sort of interaction I'd have with the Lyra I knew. She had no problems with me correcting her, or demonstrating, although I rarely did it for martial arts. This, however, was a teenage girl. A cute, humanish, teenage girl, who didn't know me from Adam. I couldn't act so familiar. "Sorry." I stood, shrugging uncomfortably, and made to turn away.
"Hi-yah!"
I bent slightly and let the kick slide past, before turning smoothly and automatically falling into a stance. When I saw her shocked look I tried to relax and step backwards, but she pressed in.
"You can't go!" She threw a few jabs. I brushed them aside. "You haven't told me how you did that!"
"Please stop attacking me!" I leaped backwards, clearing the bench. My hip twinged. Her eyes snapped wide as she grinned.
"Shoot!" I considered turning and running. She probably wouldn't tackle me. Right? I recognized the manic gleam in her eye. I groaned.
"I'll make you tell me!" Her eyes glittered, and she leaped onto the bench, balancing precariously to throw a kick at my head. She had pretty yellow boots to match her eyes. Everyone here wore boots.
"That's dangerous!" I blocked easily. She lost her balance, and spun her arms for a second. I stepped in, thinking she was going to fall, but she smirked and grabbed my shoulder. I braced myself as she leaped off the bench, landing lightly and trying to pivot into a throw. I planted my feet and grinned as she strained.
"Look, you need to move your opponent around their center of gravity." I grabbed her hand and adjusted the grip. "Since I'm rather heavier, you'll need to be more precise. One hand here." I moved it to my wrist. "The other one here." I placed it on my shoulder. "Now, sweep with your hip." I let her whirl me, but writhed and rolled away at the last second.
"You're toying with me!" She indignantly puffed her cheeks as I climbed to my feet, trying to ignore my complaining body.
"I don't want to." I shrugged. "I've got places to go. Ponies to see."
"Ponies?"
"Figure of speech."
"You still haven't told me how you did that!"
"And I don't plan to. I can only ever take one disciple, and you're not it." That would be far too confusing.
"What?" Her eyes lit up. "Do you practice some sort of secret martial art? Can't you tell me anything?" She gave me a pleading stare, eyes wide.
"Well…" I paused. I didn't want to stay trapped here, but if I didn't say something, she'd never let up. I smirked, considering refuge in audacity. At worst, she'd laugh. "The truth is…"
"Yes?!"
"I'm a Jedi."
I closed the back door of Sugarcube Corner, and leaned my head against it.
I had not expected Lyra to believe me. I'd expected her to laugh, and maybe give me time to escape. Instead, she'd followed me until I managed to lose her at a crosswalk, trying to get more explanations out of me and bugging me about light-sabers.
I staggered up the stairs. Pinkie had a small suite above the shop. The Cakes lived elsewhere in this reality. I could hear the sounds of business coming from the dining area.
"Sunset? Pinkie?"
"Shh!" Pinkie was tapping away at a baby-blue laptop. She raised a finger to her lips and motioned to Sunset, who was sleeping soundly on the bed. I nodded and lowered my voice.
"Hey, can you let me call Fluttershy? I need to check on Bitterbloom."
"Your pony?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Sure!" She pulled out her phone, and passed it to me. "She's in my contacts."
"Huh." I unlocked the phone with a swipe. The more I saw of this world, the more it resembled mine. I pulled up her phonebook and tapped the picture of one soft eye peering through pink hair.
"H-hello?"
"Hey, Fluttershy. Sorry it's not Pinkie. I just needed to ask… is Bit doing OK?"
"Oh! Um. Wesley, right?" The voice on the other end paused. "Y-yes. She's doing just fine. She's in the barn. I gave her some oats, and she's asleep now." Her voice got quiet. "She's a very pretty pony."
"Um, yeah. Well, that's all I needed to know. Thanks."
"You're welcome."
"Bye."
"Bye."
"All good?" Pinkie gave me a wide-eyed stare.
"Yeah." I yawned and flopped onto the couch, handing the phone back. "Fluttershy says so. I'm taking a nap."
"Sweet dreams!" She gave me a tiny wave.
"Thanks." I smiled and closed my eyes.
I woke with the memory of flowers drifting through my head. Pinkie was gone, and afternoon sunlight filtered through the windows.
"Bougainvillea?" I muttered.
"Hmm?" Sunset was sitting at Pinkie's desk, poking at her computer. Hearing me mutter, she turned to me. "What was that?"
"Something about flowers. Bougainvillea. My grandfather grew them in his backyard." I rubbed my eyes. "Something in my dream. What time is it?"
"Just past five. You slept a good four hours. Feel better?"
"Lots." I stretched hesitantly, before climbing off the couch and settling cross-legged on the floor. I needed to be doubly sure I never skipped my meditation for the next few days; if I wasn't careful about tending to my wounds in the beginning, they wouldn't heal clean.
"Are you doing that… reiki again?" Sunset gave me a curious stare.
"Yeah." I opened one eye, and looked up at her. "Are you hurt anywhere? I didn't think to ask, since I didn't see much of your blood."
"Bruises, scrapes." She shrugged. "Fire support, magic shields, and my good fur coat saw me through." She rubbed her arms. "I miss my fur, honestly. Although these are pretty fun." She wiggled her fingers at me and smirked.
"I can help with bruises, if you like." I closed my eyes again. "Give me a little time for meditation, and I think I can wipe that one on your cheek."
"That would be nice." Her voice was soft. "Wes… is this like your world?"
"Some." I frowned. "It's lot's closer than Equus Five Suns was, but - "
"What did you say?"
"Huh?"
"Equestria what?"
"I…" I thought back, slightly bothered. I couldn't remember at all. "I don't know." I opened my eyes, and rubbed my head, trying to catch the memory. "I don't remember."
"Huh. Well, go on."
"No, I mean… " I cut off, turmoil rolling in my gut. "Sunset, I don't have the best memory. But… that bothers me."
"Losing something like that?"
"No, saying something like that, something I don’t remember." My frown deepened into a scowl. "If something's messing with my head…"
"Like Twilight?" Sunset's lip curled in an ironic twist.
"No. Well, yes, but not like…" I paused. "What I mean to say, is that if something's influencing my actions, and I don't know it… that's, like, worst-case scenario for me in so many ways. This time, if it’s not Twilight…." I sighed, before returning to my meditation. "Watch my back, sis."
"Sure." Her voice was quiet.
"Anyways, this world is like Earth, but also like Equus. I don't know much resography, but if I had to guess, it could be halfway in between?" I tried to catalogue everything we'd seen so far. "Well, something like that."
"But you're familiar with much of what's here."
"More familiar than I was with Equestria. With what I now know of both worlds, I feel fairly comfortable." I thought back, trying to organize the things I needed to tell her. "There’s a few things you should know. That computer? Did Pinkie explain it?"
"Some." Her voice was wry.
"Heh, sure. Anyways, computers. They're a big thing on Earth. They collate and organize data and scan for patterns. People can be traced and identified by them, if they're in the system. If the people in this world mirror Equestrians, than I probably won’t be in there. That has it’s own problems, but... You, on the other hand - "
" - might have a doppelganger."
"Exactly. Either way, we don't have identifying documents, or any of the things we'd need to interact with officials and the government. I turned Pinkie down on the ambulance because with our wounds, they'd want to identify us and talk to the police, and I couldn't risk being tagged as an alien. You might land in even weirder and more annoying trouble. First rule here, Sunset; lay low. As long as we don't draw attention, we can avoid authority. Things are much tighter, but it's surprising how much of that control is an illusion. They've just got more tools for spotting the troublemakers." I glanced at the computer.
"Oh, that's much better!" I rose to my feet, and stretched. The magic I'd concentrated on my wounds would speed healing. It was already reinforcing my muscles, soothing out soreness and supporting where I needed extra strength. I turned to Sunset. "Can I give you a hand?"
"Nope! I've got my own, now!" She held them up, and giggled.
"Heh, sure." I stepped in close. "Hold still." Her eyes went wide as I ran a thumb over her sharp cheekbone, focusing a little magic. Her own power responded, moving closer to the skin and concentrating there. The bruise was fairly small; most likely from landing roughly. After a second, I stepped back. It had faded from blue to yellowish. "That ought to do. Now, first order of business, literally. We need to make some money."
"You have a plan?" She closed the laptop.
"Yes, actually." I grinned, the scheme unrolling in my head. "Magic."
"Hmm?"
"Come on. I'll show you." I smirked and led her towards the door. "This should be entertaining."
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Huh. When you described the girls as having skin and hair in a variety of colors, my first thought was what the gene sequences responsible for pigmentation looked like in comparison to ours. Insight into my priorities...
4481840 it's pretty cool you know enough genetics to visualize that, though. You may have noticed I'm not shy about shoehorning my fascination with physics into the story. :P
thanks for the update! Its nice to see semi regular updating. Keep up the story I enjoy reading it.
4482352 you're welcome! Someone should start a group for stories that update regularly. If there's enough of them.
4482394 thats not a bad idea......
. The question becomes who would start it up..........
. Also I would need to check and see if there isn't one already and its just not well known
Awwww. I want Wes to teach human-Lyra all the stuff pony-Lyra taught him. Or at least as much as he can without magic getting involved. Because then everything will come full circle and just might break the multiverse
4482422 Hmm, checking is a good idea. Starting wouldn't be the chore, maintaining would. I'm not willing to commit the time, honestly.
4482997 Breaking the multiverse comes later! Anyways, this arc isn't really about introducing more characters, but developing the ones I've got. Although that would be fun.
4483249
Indeed it would. But even if you don't want to do it now, you might be able to bring Wes back to this world at some point in the future, depending on how things like traveling between the worlds works in this story.
Random idea: Since there's probably another Sunset in this world (and they really should ask Pinkie about that. If Sunset's still in high school here like everyone else, Pinkie would probably know her), might there also be another Splinter here? One who's not dead or imprisoned? I suppose he could still be a prisoner of war somewhere or something like that, but with everyone here being younger than Equestria, he'd probably only be a few years out of high school at the oldest. It might be nice for Wes and Sunset to track him down and talk to him if they can do it without breaking the multiverse or anything like that. It could help to give her some closure, at least.
4483320 I actually considered this. This arc isn't my most inspired plotting, and I wasn't sure if there was a good place to put that... we will see. As for coming back; probablly not. This story is starting to wrap, although I don't know how obvious that is. I've introduced only one new plot handle in the last arc; the rest are tiebacks. I don't think it will run past 350k words, although only the writing will tell. I would like to be done before August. If I manage 40,000 words a month, I might be. REAL endings aren't seen enough on this site. After that... who knows? I do have other story ideas.
4483406
Huh. I honestly didn't think this was anywhere near being done. I'm not completely sure why I thought that though. I think it might have been that I was expecting Wes and co. to have to defeat all of Sombra's generals, and I thought there were still quite a few of them around.
It might also partially be because I've only been reading this story for the past few weeks, but it's so long that I expect it to take forever to finish. Or something like that.
But I suppose another 100k words is still a lot of room for a lot of things to happen.
I definitely agree with you about real endings. I blame the masses who insist upon yelling "Moar! I need sequel!
" at every story on the site, regardless of, well, anything. I've seen several stories that, in my opinion, dropped in quality when the author listened to the cries of the masses and added more chapters or sequels. And that's why I've promised myself that I will never tell an author to write a sequel, unless they're asking if they should or something like that.
I've started to wonder if this is part of the reason why almost every book I ever had to read in an English class ended with at least one of the main characters dying.
4483499 Yeah... I dunno. I'm not really sure if I'd say 'close', because if it ends at 350k, we're a little over two-thirds of the way through. You see the potential; I have a privileged viewpoint. Also, I'm probablly not using any sort of regular 'three act structure', which might throw off your plot-sense, depending on how developed it is.
That being said, I'm several chapters ahead in this arc, and it starts dealing with 'endgame' plot elements, so... maybe next week it will feel a bit more conclusiony. If you're still not feeling it by the time we're back in Equestria, let me know, beccause I'm doing it wrong. We should be tooling up for a reveal and showdown by then.
Yeah, I think having a definite endpoint for a story is worth it. Real conclusion is hard to achieve, and difficult to do right. I hope I can manage a satisfying conclusion, because I'm honestly a very amateur writer. This is my second released serial fiction ever. A sequel is unlikely, even if people beg, since I have one new idea I really like a lot more. It has excellent potential.
Blech, english-class books. The only things I remember really enjoying in English class were Farenheight 451 and Poe's The Raven. Too many of those books were chosen for reasons other than being entertaining, and as a consequnce, few of my classmates really learned to enjoy reading. A bit of a waste, in my opinion. Not saying the lessons were bad. But I guess it's all about what you're really trying to teach. I think they could do worse than to aim for a love for literature. Heck; the reason shakespear's famous is really only because he drew crowds. Popular IS good; critically acclaimed or not. But that's a whole 'nother topick.
Heh. If this was anyone else's comments, I'd be chary of this. But it's MY soapbox, this time. Feel free to rant and rave.
4483682
With all of the
hoursdays I've put into surfing TV Tropes and reading stories (even if they've mostly been ponyfics lately), I would like to think that my plot-sense is pretty well developed. But I've still been known to make mistakes, of course.When I take a step back and look at this story, I can see how it could be wrapping up relatively soon, especially now that Wes has finally got that rock out of his chest. Off the top of my head, the only big things that still need to happen before the story can end are defeating Sombra, Glisten, Chrysalis, and any other villains I've forgotten about, Wes either finding out how to get home or finding out he can't go home (and if it's the former, deciding if he wants to stay or not) (or you could go the English class route and kill him off), and revealing/dealing with the consequences of Wes and Twilight's link that you've been foreshadowing ever since it was formed. I know there are a few other things that need to be wrapped up, but those are the big, overarching ones that occur to me right now.
Well, I look forward to seeing whatever you pump out next, whatever it is.
"The Raven" was definitely a good one, and Fahrenheit 451 was okay, but I don't really have strong feelings about it either way. Personally, I think Catch-22, the Odyssey, and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead were probably my favorites, and I thought that Hamlet and Macbeth were enjoyable once I got used to how Shakespeare writes. There were a few others that I thought were pretty good, but I wouldn't have chosen to read them, and I wouldn't go back and read them for pleasure now. A Tale of Two Cities and The Scarlet Letter come to mind. And then there were the ones that I absolutely hated, like The Great Gatsby and To Kill a Mockingbird (which apparently makes me a bad person or something).
There are definitely some advantages to reading some of the classics, but I agree that it might be more important to just teach kids to love to read first. And most of the books they made us read weren't really the type of stories that do that. I know it can be hard to do when you've got dozens of students with different tastes, but I find it hard to believe that any high schooler really enjoyed something like The Great Gatsby. I suppose that might have been their goal back in the earlier grades, but I can only remember one book I had to read in elementary school that I really enjoyed.
I wonder if someone could construct a curriculum for an English class based around reading ponyfics. It would be hard to find many that would give much of a historical or cultural perspective, if that's what you were looking for, but I'm sure you could use them to teach about literature in general and how to write a story. (Lesson one: how to avoid cliches.)
Heh. If you couldn't tell, I do like ranting.
4483932 Heh, I'm not knocking your plot-sense; the more developed it is, the more likely a poorly plotted story is to throw it off. Wes will not die in the end. That's much too Mary-Sue for me. Yeah, you got the threads all tied up; Chrysalis was the new plot-handle I mentioned. She was sorta last-minute in some ways. There's one, maybe two more archs in there, and then the finale. We'll see how it goes. I have a rough structure in my head; I've been learning to plot further, but in less detail.
I wish I'd read Catch-22 in English Class. MacBeth was good, Romeo and Juliet honestly made me cringe. Although if you like reading plays, do yourself a favor and read Cyrano de Bergerac. It's like Romeo and Juliet, but replace 'angsty' with 'awesome', and 'teenagers' with 'musketeers'. It's much less... annoying. I belive the translation I read was by Christopher Fry. The only play I've voluntarily read for fun.
I managed to miss To Kill a Mockingbird when we moved, and I've never bothered to go back for it; I figure I'd be in the same boat. I didn't think much of Gatsby, but looking back, I bet I could enjoy it now, at least as a study of tropes. I remember it being very well written for what it was.
I wouldn't be surprised if a homeschool parent or two uses fanfiction to teach writing. It's plentiful and free. I intend to give myself professional level education using FF, Fimfiction, and TVtropes, so I think it's doable. As you said, a wonderful catalogue of errors :P
Yeah, ranting is great. No wonder people like blogging! The internet is one big soapbox.
4482137
well if you like physics have you ever thought about the physics behind rainbow dash's rainbow contrail or more importantly how she is able to produce it at such low speeds? (that thing flowing behind her is obviously not her tail and main unless people think her tail and mane grow to be 10 times her body length every time she goes fast and her body color is missing so it is not a blur effect)
if you didn't know there really is such a thing as a rainbow contrail and it can be seen forming behind jet engines going at high speed (i think it was about 1.7 mach). it is thought that this is caused by the compressed air flowing out of the engine being solid enough to cause a refraction effect of said light and causing the rainbow.
So how does rainbow cause this effect at lower speeds? Well assuming that light being a form of energy and thus is constant then we can guess that the air in Equestria is not like the air on earth. and if that is the case then that would mean that air composition would have to be made up of heavier/denser element because that cause a high refraction rating with less air compression mean the rainbow contrail could be formed at lower speeds. i can see a few reason that might be the cause of the denser atmosphere but the two most likely are: A) lower gravity and thus preventing these elements from sinking into the ground (take your pick of why there is a lower gravity) or B) simply a higher ratio of those element being present when Equis was formed.
personally i think it would be the lower gravity because that would also go a ways to explaining the weird wing sizes one most of the creatures atleast in part. and of course the different atmospheres likely means that any human that ends up in equestria would likely die off pretty quickly in a incredibly painful way.
so in conclusion i spend way to much time thinking about the physics behind a cartoon show for little kids where magic is readily present.
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4483932
hopping into your little discussion on plot and story telling. i honestly think you should turn this story into one of those universe type stories once you have concluded the main story here because i think it would be a real shame to let that has been built here just die at the end of a chapter. i mean some of the best stories i have read on this site are done in that fashion. one of my favorites being the work of Sir Hat and if you haven't already i recommend taking a look at what he has done https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Sir+Hat
4484751 Eh, I've never overthought Rainbow's Rainbows, because 'magic' is a perfectly good in-universe explanation. In the S4 finale, Twilight leaves a mane-and-tail contrail, after her magic boost, so it's not just refraction. In my magic system it would fall under the kirlantic school; physical manifestation of an aura.
But different air-density wouldn't be a bad way to 'science' it. Since my own headcannon has pegasi magically manipulating air to fly, I'd say that her magic field shapes and maybe compresses the air around her; that way, you don't need to mess with atmosphere composition. And maybe I'm wrong, but wouldn't denser air actually increase the speed of sound? Meaning she'd need to go faster? Also, lowering the gravity would likely *thin* the amosphere; look at Mars. Unless you had some type of envelope... perhaps a layer of water vapor, high up. I think saw a setup like that somewhere. (Besides spaceballs!) Could be cool, but needs more overthinking. :P
As for writing more stories in the same setting; we will see. I actually really enjoy worldbuilding, so while reuse has advantages, I'm not particularly drawn to it. Also, this is a 'multiverse' setting. I'm likely to borrow story elements, (like all the magic names I've invented) but re-build characters in disconected worlds. The trick will be explaining enough new readers understand, but not so much old readers get bored. Change is good, but people don't always like it.
I will defintely check out Sir Hat's work, if only because his name clashes with my new handle. :D
4484079
I recommend Catch-22 if you still haven't read it, especially if you enjoy satire at all. I've never actually read Romeo and Juliet. I watched a short movie version if it in some English class, but that's about it. But what really makes me cringe is when people try to use Romeo and Juliet as an example of an ideal couple or something (I'm looking at you, Taylor Swift). It's like they don't realize that it's a tragedy.
I may have to give Cyrano de Bergerac a read sometime.
Based on the little bit of the "Helpful Notes" (or whatever it was called) section of TV Tropes that I've seen, I think that you could easily get a basic working knowledge on a lot of topics there. And when it comes to writing specifically, I think the hardest part of your plan might be finding good examples to use.
4484751
Honestly, I'm not really sure how well this story would work for a universe type of thing. The big things that set this story apart from any others are Wes and Lyra, so they're really the only things that any spin-off story in the same universe could be about without the story working just as well (or probably better) as a completely separate story. And another story about Wes would have to be a sequel (and depending on how this fic ends, that might not even work too well). A story about Lyra's days fighting in the underground and the like could work, but even then, such a story could easily be completely detached from this one without really hurting anything.
(And personally, I don't care much for Sir Hat's stuff.)
55# humm
4486969 Yeah, my current plan is 'learn by doing'. I am, you might say, well read; I don't really lack for good fantasy or authors to emulate, although most of them are not fanfiction. What I'm really trying to grasp here is the composition principles; the underlying structures and flows... or at least, that's how I think of it. Not being formally educated in liturature, I don't have formal vocabularly.
Still, most every discipline has an underlying structure, and once you find that, you can accomplish more with less effort. It's about what's effective, and where to focus your effort.
I've read TVtropes a fair amount, and I retain what I've read quite well. But I don't just want to know tropes, I want to be able to apply them effectively. TVtropes is great for the nuts and bolts, but it doesn't actually teach how to build something. I've read various books on how to write, and some of them have been really good, but I eventually decided I just need to buckle down and practice. Start using the details, learn the principles through experimentation. I've already learned a lot; about my own workflow and discipline, and I even feel I'm beginning to develop a 'voice'. But I'm not done yet, and probably never will be.
Anyways, if you want to discuss writing theory, I'm game, but I don't want to bore you with my rambling. If you like, I think I have a public-domain copy of Cyrano; I'd have to check my PDF's. It's also a tragedy, but not one where all the characters are idiots. Seriously, I wanted to kill R&J myself.
I've honestly been meaning to read Catch-22 for a long time. I'm just never near a library these days, and it's not high enough up my list to buy. :/ It's getting bumped further up, now. We will see.
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Well, that probably is the best way to do it. I'm pretty sure that just about every writing guide I've ever read, including TV Tropes's has basically said to just keep writing until you're good at it. One of these days, I'll have to actually do that myself.
I'm down for discussions and rambling and whatever. I need something to keep me busy online, after all
If you do have a copy of Cyrano, I'd be glad to take a look at it. If not, I'm sure I can find one myself.
I just did a bit of googling and found the text of Catch-22 online here and a few other places, if it helps.
*waiting patiently for more chapters*
4484688 Good thinking, but you approached it from a purely scientific point of view. The third option to your scenario is that pegasi magic has the capability to manipulate air and moisture density. This would go a long way towards explaining why they can cloudwalk, fly with wings that are too small, the sonic rainboom, and why Dash has a rainbow trail.
See, I also share in your love of physics, which is why imagining the possibilities of magic makes me squeal like a school girl.