Epilogue
Rays of light slowly start to creep in though the curtains and it your face. You slowly open your eyes to see a beautiful sight. Night Watch sleeping soundly in your arms with a cute little smile on her face. You gently start to cresses her mane and give her a kiss on the forehead which makes a moan escape her lips.
Night Watch starts to slowly open her eyes and you get to see her lovely pink iris's.
"Good morning lover." you greet her
"Morning cutie." she greets you back with a tired tone
"Did you sleep well?"
"mmhmm." she says nodding her head "I slept much better in your arms." she continues holding you tighter
You go to her give another kiss on the forehead but she grabs your face and pulls you down so your lips meet once again. After another loving kiss you let go of and climb out of bed and yawn.
"Should I make you some breakfast?"
"Yes please." she says in a cute tone
You smile at her head out the bedroom. You walk down the small hallway of your apartment and catch yourself in the mirror. But something really court you eye, not your messy mane but two marks on the side of your neck, they look like bite marks.
"Night Watch" you call out
"Yes my lover" Night Watch says peeking out of the bedroom
"Did you bite me last night?" you say still focusing on the marks on your neck
"O-Oh" Night Watch stutters back away slightly "Y-Yeah. But it was an accident"
"When did you do it?" you say now looking at her
"Well... you during last night event when we were both about to climax." she begins "And I bent down and my face was in your neck... that's when I accidentally bit you."
You let out a big sigh and look into the mirror again and focus on the bite makes
"I'm going to turn in a bat pony aren't I"
"Yeah..." Night Watch says looking down at the floor
With another sigh you walk into the main room and look out of the window near your sofa. You hear Night Watch getting closer to you. You turn around and you only have one question on your mind.
"Is the transformation going to hurt?"
"No, apparently it's quick and painless" She reassures "In fact it already happened"
"Really?"
You rush over to the mirror to see that you are now a bay pony complete with a set of fangs and wings. You couldn't stop but to feel happy inside.
"T-This is incredible!" you says stuttering from excitment
"This is the best you've even looked like." Night Watch says wrapping her arms around you and giving you a kiss on the cheek "I know this seems sudden but will you come back to CallingWood with me?"
Without thinking you say "Yes"
"Are you sure? what about you apartment?"
"I'm sure as soon as they realizes that I'm gone they'll rent the place out to somepony else."
Night Watch gives you another kiss on the lips. Before leaving for CalingWood you pack a few impotent stuff you need to take with you. You walk back to front room to Night Watch who is patiently waiting for you.
"You're going to have to teach me how to use these things." you say flapping your new wings
"There every simple to control, just flap and you'll be fine." she explains "So are you ready to go home?"
You take one last look around you apartment and nod with a determined smile. You open the doors of your balcony and let Night Watch step out first. She starts to flap her so she floating in the air. You follow suit of her but you're not as high as she is. She hold at her hoof so you blanch in the air.
You then start to head towards the town in the middle of the forest that you've grown attracted to. Not only will you be living out a new live, you'll be spending it with a pony you love.
THE END
Sequel NOW Please a sequel
Well that escalated quickly...
Sequel, SEQUEL, ((SEQUEL)) *chants*
Well, I'll give you my honest opinion.
First off, it was cute. Written simply with a basic premise, probably an idea that just came to you one day and you felt like writing it. I believe that you could have definitely expanded on this a bit more, making the story longer and expanding some of the scenes and having longer dialogue between "you" and Night Watch. It felt a bit rushed in areas, making it harder to get a good feel for the characters. We are given a basic understanding of them, but just barely for "Cass". You need to make sure to put punctuation at the end of every sentence, including dialogue, and also adding in commas here and there to break up speech so it doesn't seem long winded. The epilogue was interesting, with Cass saying another stereotype to Night, but it being true.
Like I said, if you were to expand a bit more on this, really give the characters some back story and more personality, you could really make something really impressive. If you do expand on this, make sure to give the reader a feel for the character and who the reader is supposed to be (Cass), and maybe build up the feelings over a longer period of time so the ending doesn't feel cliche'. Otherwise, like I said, it was cute.
HAHA THAT IS CUTE!!!!!!!
Well if you know me well enough, you'll know I never have much to say... But this was an amazing story! Sure it was a bit short, but with how good it was length doesn't really matter to me. I kinda wish there was a sequel to it, but at the same time if you were to end it here the ending was just perfect. Great work!
3570063
I just knew Batman uses Wikipedia
I love this
A good story. Short and sweet
4105158 quiet you
Well done my.good friend.
4210083
There's always one. I guess that one is you
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4366654 Oh man, I am so doing that next time I catch him doing it.
Finnished, it was fun and fruity, and I enjoyed reading it
decent story
Wow! What a cute fanfic (: But I'll be honest it ended a bit to abruptly for my tastes, but definitely deserves seven spikes
I give this 9 spikes for not being to feels intinsive ah buck tll put in therest of them later
So I was just browsing the what's hot section when I came across this sequel. Was thinking maybe I'll read it after I read the original, le gasp I already read the first two chapters why don't I remember it? Oh wait because this story makes me look stupid in my rage while I read and cringe at it. The plot jumps around too much, the speech is next to useless exposition, your using entirely wrong words in entirely wrong places, and the words that are in the right spot are spelled wrong. Not to mention the sentence structure. Now I'm going to go read the second story. Why? Because I want to see if you improved any. If you made it this far in my comment then I want to let ya know ya done good. The only real way to get better at anything is to do it repeatedly, to gain a better understanding of it. So kudos to you good sir you are at least trying, and improving yourself.
Fuck yes I got a down vote, I'm so happy.
The story went a bit to fast for me and i like to know the moment the characters start to like each other. I just like more information and not so many timeskips. I don´t have anything against sexual insinuations, but if i don´t have enough informations i don´t like it that much i don´t really know when i like it in a story or not but i know i prefer it if i get the feeling they really like each other.
To be honest i like the story and the sexual hints were not that bad and even if you had timeskips and a bit rushed story or at least short, but you was able to make it still good for me.
5191341
Like he said, a bit to much plot and such, but i am willing to give a thumb up
Summary of what I noticed.
Story: Good
Grammar: new4.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Screaming+internally+33+this+made+me+cringe+lol+w+_51e554876b81b97cd9bf33e8d60a606a.gif
Pacing: Little rushed but overall not bad.
6.5/10. The mistakes in grammar are holding this story back from its true potential. Don't get me wrong though. I enjoyed reading it.
Short but good
WHAT!? WHAT THE F*CK?!?!?!
but good! 👍