The Dragons Eclipse

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The mystery child found only with a amulet and a blanket where will his life lead only time will tell what fate he will lead.

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The Guy on Your Right

The Guy on Your Right #1 · Nov 9th, 2013 · · ·

The mystery child found only with a amulet and a blanket where will his life lead only time will tell what fate he will lead.

It was dark over the land the crescent moon shone ever so brightly as the a black shadow flew across is surface, its was flying ever nearer to its destination, heading for a place that only few know as a myth or a legend the being in question was a black dragon, his scales shined as the moon light hit as the dragon roared lowering closer to the ground.

Gliding down to were he had last seen the shimmer spotted it a few yards away landing, he slowly made his way over trudging through the dense forest he finally arrived but it wasn't what he had expected it was a small unicorn filly with a dark purple and black striped mane and tail wrapped in a small blanket and the bit that had made the shimmering was a amulet shaped like a dragon, the dragon mused at what he found he could just leave the small thing its not like he should do anything… a small gurgle stopped him in his tracks as he looked at the small unicorn opening his eyes to the staring dragon with wonder.

The dragon in question was now drawn to the unicorns eyes there were Draconic in nature this lead him to wonder he picked the small filly and cut the cloth gently as to not hurt the child and he was correct in is assumption there where more draconic like features about this child one was its small dragon wings as well as the small scale or two in places.

He now was interested if this child was draconic in relation then should he take it, he could take it and raise the child as a pet or a servant or a guard after all he was Draconis king of Darken, he had just inherited the throne from his father and knew that there would be hard times ahead for the young dragon.

And it goes on. You know, there're these things called 'period', 'semi-colon', 'run-on sentence', and 'comma splices', as well as 'repetitive words'. Sorry if my review is not too detailed; I'm not in the mood to play good guy, bad guy thing... sorry...

Jasmine Tea

Jasmine Tea #2 · Nov 9th, 2013 · · ·

http://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/the-proofreader-group it sounds like a good story but, it need a lot of work, this should help you out. also is it a boy or girl because you mentioned filly that the girl while also referring as a he.