(To those waiting for Part 3, I'm quite busy right now, and, though my status might change, I'm not very sure of finishing Part 3 for the next week. Sorry! I'll do my best to acomplish that)
I read My Little Dashie, and it was really, really well done. I even shed manly tears (like many in here, maybe some girly tears were shed as well) So I decided to go, and try to do a continuation, or Part 2, myself.
PKSlider725 told me about ROBCakeran53 being on DevianArt. I saw his "My Little Dashie" post, saying why the story was left open, and that he was ok with people making their own story or continuation of, it, so I started this story all by myself.
I wanna say, it's my first story, it's probably not going to be a masterpiece like the original one is, and I'm going to be uploading them in parts, unlike My Little Dashie (which was only one part)
Hope you like it, and, IF you do, please leave a comment, I would like to know if I should continue or not.
Olimak
Joined 19th Feb, 2012 ·
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My Little Dashie was not a masterpiece, and you shouldn't make a sequel without the author's permission.
297571
I agree with you on the author's permission thing but My Little Dashie NOT A MASTERPIECE!? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS!!
297571 Agreed on both accounts.
297594 I'll probably get lots of hate for saying this but:
At its core, My Little Dashie is a shameful self insert about some unbelievable main character who's life is made out to be so shitty by the most cliched ways. Parents are dead, has no friends, works a shitty minimum wage job, seems really cliched to me.
Also I can never forget the worst attempt at foreshadowing I EVER saw when he wished he had a "Rainbow Dash Plushie" and hugged his pillow "wishing it was a Rainbow Dash", then what does he find the next day? A talking blue alien pegasus that he decides is Rainbow Dash, and he's hardly freaked out by it. He is stunned for all of two minutes then goes right into acceptance so he can keep her locked away in his house for several years away from the world.
It's only really viewed as "amazing" because a lot of bronies fantasize about finding one of the mane six in their real lives. Rage if you want, it's my honest opinion.
297597 What is this? Someone actually looks for quality in a story?
You ma'am have earned an internet.
297604 Thank you! I agree with you 100%! I mean, it's good but it's highly over rated. Hell, I'll say it, I teared up. But to me, it is and will always be a fanfic. JUST a fanfic.
Then should I take it out?
297604
I just read My Little Dashie yesterday, and I totally agree with you. Let's not forget the fact that it's WAY too long (those 12k words could have easily been condensed to 5-6k), boring and at some points just downright hilarious when it's trying to be sad (brings a quote to mind... something along the lines of "I longed to join them, to fly free from this world... only to be stopped by my computer screen."- It created the image of a very desperate brony frantically clawing at his monitor to get into Equestria. At this point, I thought it was a parody of really bad HinE stories.). Finally, the main character comes across as just creepy rather than someone I can sympathize with.
297682 Hahaha there's some imagery for you.
Can you friking tell me if I must take it out or not?
I copied My little Dashie fore my teacher to read and he knows nothing about MLP:FiM.
I shuld let him seen a episode before i let him read it. It gave no effect but he wants me to show it to my english teacher. I think he will like what i have bean reading fore three weeks. It tock 21 A4 pages.
And i will se how your wersion of a sequel will be. And manly teras is not enught fore me. I cryed a river.
Wow. This is not what i have expected. Taking the whol thing agein but whit an Applejack filly.
What is hapening whit the wheter in Equestria and Twilight must stop using that spell now.
I don't know yet, I'll think about it
297887
Yeah, I've been thinking about that of starting up with Applejack instead of Dash, but (if I continue) it'll have a turn. I'm still thinking about how to make the turn correctly though.
keep doing it i like it its a wonder how apple jack doesent call HIM dad anyway keep writing
302306
really? look how many dislikes this thing has
i dont know, dont really feel like writing if many people didnt like it
I for one have to say that this story is pretty cool so far. Maybe some slight adjustments to grammar are needed, but it's nothing very major. This is a very interesting take on the Dude's (I'm just calling him that) experience with another pony, so nice work, good sir.
Though obviously, it's your choice to continue or discontinue this.
302494ol well atleast you have someone who likes your story and wants you to do more also you cant just leave a story hanging so do more ilike it
Okay, I'll continue this
303419
My native languaje isn't english, its spanish, I would gladly accept any corrections to my grammar, if needed
so thanks for that!
Screw what the dislike bar says, I say CONTINUE!
Tracked and Thumbs up good sir! 
~Parajack
PART 2 IS UP!!
i liked it
whats funney is that AJ is in the hospital with him but where its seems shes in plane site it would be weird seeing a orange pony with a cowgirl hat on but over al nice job , godofwar88 the fanficfim critic
297604
My Little Dashie was an example of FORCED SAD, along the lines of "Marley & Me". Although "Dashie" being a fictional account, loses much of the ethos that Marley has. The themes themselves are what resonate the strongest amongst fans, while the specific instances within the story are what put off the detractors.
That said, within the world set up, its able to evoke strong emotion, but requires one to suspend their belief a tad.
It's a story that, if you take the character's background to heart, makes you happy and sad for the trials and events that happen.
--
As for this story in particular, the sense of continuation was just instantly broken with the second paragraph. This had the same problems of all the other Dashie sequels: it relies on the knowledge of the original to carry the reader's interest. There's no set up (no description of setting), no actual contemplation going on. The character is just thinking things and stating his thoughts ("Ever since Dashie left, I felt very lonely and sad" but how are you sad? Why specifically?) rather than actually reflecting the weight of his feelings (Trying to relate the "sad" to something or other instance).
I seriously recommend you get someone to edit this and subsequent chapters. An editor is not necessary. Just get SOMEONE to read and really get to the grit of what works, what doesn't, what's enjoyable and what wasn't with your writing before you post.
Take note of metaphors and phrases and writing styles that flow really well in any other stories (of any sort whether its fanfiction or original) that you read and try to see if you can incorporate the ones that seem appropriate to what you're trying to get across to the reader.
My last point is also what I think will be the biggest factor to my lack of enthusiasm to this fan sequel. The following sentence has no place being in the story: "I just woke up, and my manly tears were already flowing through my face."
Being inspired is one thing, making references is understandable. But that sentence just stops me from taking anything following it seriously. Not the sudden crash of AJ or the character's sudden 180 degree turn in admitting that he'd probably "fall in love with Applejack".
Pacing and grammar aside, I wish you luck on your writing. I hope you write your own fanfic.
312453
What? You've never seen a little horse on a hospital with a cowboy hat?
Well, for her age, she's small, not her full size, also, everybody thinks she's a horse.... (that was the main idea)
312464
Nice comment sir, you really took your time writing it didn't you?
Well, about the editing part, I live in a country were you talk spanish, not english. In my college, we're all learning english, I'm in the best level (we have 4 levels), and, as far as I know, there's nobody else who knows more than me, and I don't know more than my class.
What do I mean with this?
Though I can send this to a friend who really knows english, he/she wouldn't be able to fix many of my mistakes.
I sure have friends who's native language is english, but I haven't really known them in person. It would be like "Hi stranger, can you edit my story, though I don't know who the heck are you?" And that, for me, would be asking way to much from a friend who I met in the internet.
"Take note of metaphors and phrases and writing styles that flow really well in any other stories (of any sort whether its fanfiction or original) that you read and try to see if you can incorporate the ones that seem appropriate to what you're trying to get across to the reader"
When I read, I usually focus on reading, not taking metaphors from the text, though I sometimes use a word or phrase I've seen.
(...) "fall in love with Applejack"
I can see your point there, and I accept the fact that maybe, I didn't think too much on that phrase. What I meant to say is that 'the character would have to take care of Applejack, and he probably was going to become very attached to her', but I could only think about 'falling in love of her', pretty much like the character did with Dash.
One last thing:
""I wanna say, it's my first story, it's probably not going to be a masterpiece""
Double quote to mark it as important.. I guess you'll figure out what I meant
312525
Here's a group of bronies that I'm sure are willing to help you out.
http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=97
Apart from reading, as in enjoying the story, it helps as a writer to analyze. Analyzing what you read not only helps you to become a better writer, but will help you enjoy the reading as well. Like understanding a metaphor so you can really feel what the writer is trying to say, then with practice you can do the same thing. I wonder if you can write a story in spanish so you can rack up a lot of spanish brony fans.
I also noticed you mention that it's your first story, which is why I wished you luck on your writing.
By the way, buena suerte con tu escritura
312620
Gracias, supongo
You speak spanish for real, or you google translated?
Spanish FanFics are not an option for me. I love english, more than spanish. Spanish FanFics just simply dont seem to be right, since the show itself is voiced in english, so making a story with spanish talking characters just doesn't seems right to me.
Also, writing in english improves my understanding of it, and so, i can speak even more fluid that i already can.
Again, "thanks, i guess"
313062
I know buena suerta, but the rest I looked up (yo se francés y ingles)
>I love english, more than spanish
It's because the Spanish dub sucks, isn't it?
313428
Eeyup
The accent is just not right, but not only for that, also because I love the challenge of learning english
By the way its
"buena suertE" you said buena suerta
Fuck what everyone is saying,update the history,it is fucking unbelievably AWESOME
334443
Hey, thanks a lot!
But, the reason of why I haven't updated this story yet isn't because of the comments or dislikes.
Its because I don't have much time. I'll try to upload the next chapter tomorrow, or, if I'm lucky enough, today (Sunday)
I like it. I'll probably give it a chance.
Now; On to the original story (calling it a "masterpiece" is debetable): To be honest, I kind of forced (and I mean really FORCED) myself to cry to immerse myself into "My Little Dashie" emotionally. Also, Rainbow Dash is my least favorite of the Mane 6 (I still like her though) and the story doesn't really change any of that. She kind of reminds me of myself when i was younger (Smug, bragging and attention seeking) and I really loathe people like that. Since MLD is only a fanfic and it got nothing to do with the actual show it reminds me "Oh yeah... She's still really smug and arrogant...".
Don't get me wrong; I like My Little Dashie. It's just my opinion on the matter.
361102
Actually, I know that feel.
I cried just a bit after reading the finale.... I had to force those tears to come out too... kinda
But, still, it's a touching story, and I say it's a masterpiece, just because of being it, and being well writen.
Thanks for the comment, though you should also read the Sequel and Threequel, which are way better than mine
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/5284/My-Little-Dashie%3A-A-sequel
361140
Yes, I've read that. Honestly, I don't see the point of any "added ending" or "continued" stories for MLD (I still give them a chance if they are well-written though). "My Little Dashie" ended the way it was supposed to. Dash leaving her foster forever, hence the main character ultimately decides to make the best of his life without her. There's really nothing more to add to the story.
The one you linked by the way, I think it was chapter twelve, one line said " I have had enough alcohol to put myself into a coma twice now.". Just to add a little criticism; There was not even a hint of any of that in the original story. He was sad, yes, but he decided to move on with his life and make the best of it (like I said in the previous section). That, and the fact that he eventually, somehow, found his way into Equestria, really ruined it.
If people want to make sequels to MLD that's fine, but no one should expect everyone to be happy with it. I'm not bashing anyone. Again, it's just my personal opinion.
362791
MLD left us with many questions. What happened next? Did they ever saw each other again?
Those questions are obviously answered by our imagination, but, when someone writes it and posts it here, or elsewhere, we can have an idea and clear those questions.
Anyway, I agree with you a little bit, he wasn't THAT sad in the original story, since he knew he did a good job and had to let her go, but, wouldn't you be pissed off if something you cared about and loved was gone in a blink of an eye?
366338
My mom died of cancer 4 years ago, so yes. I was pretty upset back then. (not looking for sympathy :P)
Anyways... Scenario: Somebody finds a Mane6 filly somewhere and they adopt her. They take care of her for years but one day she is brought back to her own world. They get sad, but not overwhelmingly sad because they know it is as it should be.
I think it's safe to say that if anypony (as in brony/pegasister) just happened to find a filly Mane 6 they would instantly know she will one day have to return to Equestria. That guy in MLD knew that Dash would one day be brought home and he prepared for it, because he KNEW it was going to happen. You can't make him into a drunk when he said "I still have a lot of life ahead of me, and I plan to make the best of it." and expect it to make sense. I don't buy that at all.
"My Little Dashie" left me with no questions after I finished reading it.
"What happened next?" answered itself. Dash returns to Ponyville and continues her adventures in Equestria while the Guy moves on with his life on earth as an average, normal human being.
"Did they ever see eachother again?" on the other hand; I didn't bother with that question at all because it was too obvious that they did not. (Like I've said maybe 2-3 times now :P ) Dash is gone forever, never to return. That's the ending for me. As it was (is) ment to be.
TL;DR
Sequels to fanfics with an obvious ending doesn't make sense to me
368903
Anyway, think about it.
In the life of a teenager (like me) reading is something you need. I'm studying english (as I stated above) so reading english and/or writing in english
helps a lot, reason of why I'm doing this.
On the other hand, I liked the story, I can now live my life knowing that Dashie's okay and found his father, which makes me happy, as I'm a fan of Rainbow Dash
I know it's not the same, but, I lost my rugby couch some years ago. He was like a second father to me, I cared about him a lot, we made jokes and had long chats about whatever we could think about. So yeah, I know that feeling as well..
but Rarity wants more
but rainbowdash wants more
